Shunned by a new Friend (a JW)

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Hi everyone! (please bear with me… i’ll get to my point soon)
For the past month, I’ve been playing the piano in a school musical. I also play the piano for my church and do a lot of wedding and funerals etc through my church as well. My singer that I usually accompany has moved to a different parish since getting married 6 months ago, and I had been looking for new singers to help me. At the musical I was doing, I thought that 3 of the lead singers would be perfect people to ask. I thought, since they are in their last year of high school, and probably don’t have much money, that helping me with weddings and funerals would be a good chance to utilise their talents and make a bit of cash! The first two girls I asked were, i suppose, flattered, and very enthusiastic. The third girl (who had the best voice out of the three of them) was initially excited… but then as soon as I mentioned that they would be mostly Catholic ceremonies… she not only avoided me for the rest of the musical but didn’t really acknowledge my presence, even though we had been getting along really well. I later found out that she is a JW, and I am assuming that the snubbed me because she knew that I was a Catholic!! That makes me very upset, because she is such a lovely girl, and mixed up with the wrong crowd! However, at the after party for the musical, I saw her having a couple of beers - that made me think that she is not a real “orthodox” JW (if there is such terminology)… ohhhhhhhh I don’t know!! It’s just that I have had this problem before with JW’s, in that a girl I liked and who liked me were not able to see each other because her father found out I was a Catholic!! JW’s drive me insane!!! What should I do???
 
I didnt know they were not allowed to drink beer, maybe thats her weakness?
Im not sure what to say, I have been dealing with some Calvinists and they have gotten my head spinning as well.
 
Hi Sheeds, I have a lot of experience with JWs cos my best friend got involved with them since last year and is 110% committed - he gave up smoking because they say you shouldn’t damage your body, so no tatoos either. However, they are allowed drink, but if they were alcoholic it would be seen as wrong and they would be shunned by the others, regarded as “a bad association” and likely reprimanded by the Elders.

I get along fine with my friend because we have reached a compromise where neither of us preach or try to convert, just agree to disagree you might say. Also, he is always saying I’d make a model Witness cos of my high morals, but I say it’s just following the Catholic teachings!

Anyway, it’s probably different I know, as the American JWs seem to be very strict and even more strange than the Irish ones. Also, my friend used to be a Catholic and all his family and many of his friends are to, so it’s not such a huge terror for him that he should not even mix with or get to know Catholics.

Pray for your friend, but unfortunately, there’s not much else you can do short-term. It’s like a sickness, they are so wholly devoted and smothered by the Organisation. Please add her to the prayer chain on www.catholicxjw.com .

Good luck with your music venture too!

Diva
 
Sheeds,

JW’s have no problem with drinking - it’s totally acceptable. I think the girl snubbed you because perhaps she hates confrontation and didn’t want to have to tell you that there’s no way in the world she would ever sing at a Catholic wedding, funeral or in any other church - EVER. It’s nothing against you personally - it’s against the Catholic Church & all other churches. JW’s don’t just view us as a different denom. that believe’s stuff that’s wrong - they truly believe we are following Satan. JW’s aren’t allowed to go into other churches so singing for any occasion is off limits. She was probably flattered that you asked her but once she realized where she’d have to sing - well that’s when she’d be so freaked out she’d want to avoid having to talk about it anymore.

I say look for another singer. Hey, I’m available… and I sound great… in the shower anyhow. 😉
 
follow this link to see what Jehovah’s Witnesses have to forego.

jwfiles.com/jw-cant.htm

I would copy and paste, but it would take several posts to contain it all. Wildness indeed.
 
Thanks for the responses! I couldn’t believe it, when I went down to the supermarket yesterday afternoon, I bumped into two of the people who I asked to sing for me (one of them being the JW)!! Obviously, we had a lot to talk about after having finished the musical and putting in so much hard work, so I thought… “I’ll ask them both for a coffee”… and they gladly accepted my invitation! It’s such a shame, because the JW is just such a lovely girl, and you wouldn’t pick it at all… however, it was her that decided to have a coffee “with the devil” anyway!!! Who knows, maybe she is only practicing being a JW because of her parents or something! I hope that is the case!
God Bless you guys!
sheeds 😉
 
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Mamamull:
follow this link to see what Jehovah’s Witnesses have to forego.

jwfiles.com/jw-cant.htm

I would copy and paste, but it would take several posts to contain it all. Wildness indeed.
Click to expand...
What a crock!!! In other words, a JW cannot be a human being, in the secuar sense of the phrase!! Poor people… we really need to pray for them.
 
What a crock!!! In other words, a JW cannot be a human being, in the secuar sense of the phrase!! Poor people… we really need to pray for them.

They frown upon education as well. Not a good religion at all.
 
I read the list and it’s ALL true!
Also, never use the word “crucifix” or crucifixion", nor the words “bulletin board”.
Education is seen as a waste of time because “the new system” will be here any day now". :rolleyes:
Having spent 18 months attending a kingdom hall (20 years ago), I know whereof I speak.
They have no sense of humor about anything, much less themselves. They call themselves, “Jehovah’s happy people”, but they are the most miserable bunch with whom I’ve ever associated.
 
It does seem sad on the outside, but for some people who like having a sense of purpose, Jehovah’s Witnesses fill that nicely. I am not agreeing with them in any way I am just trying to see this in the most charitable way possible.

There are so many studies\presentations and things to keep you busy you just get focused on your purpose. You become ingrained in a sort of system and get into a groove so to speak. This is very hard for people to leave as they are a part of a mission, anyone detering them from that mission is of course to be avoided or converted to it.

I felt sad for a friend I visited this week and we went to Kingdom Hall to satisfy my curiosity. He seemed happy as he is pretty new to Jehovah’s Witnesses. All I can do is pray for him and hope he continues to be my friend. Maybe he will notice a little how happy I am to be Catholic and will open the door to discussion.

God Bless
Scylla
 
suggest that when you go to your parish to work with the pastor or deacon to plan your wedding and marriage preparation classes, you inquire about requirements for the ceremony, readings, songs, who may sing, and what they are allowed to sing. that may take care of your difficulties.
 
Hi, folks,

My sister, two of her daughters and their respective husbands are JWs.

The websire that Mama Mull gave us is an anti-JW website, and should thus be “taken with a grain of salt.” Look at all the lies about us Catholics that can be found on the web.

My sister has been to her high school reunion more than once.

MM, since you visited the Witnesses have given up trying to predect Armageddon. (I like to say they finally read “No man shall know the day and the hour…”)

Since then, my sister has gone to school and gotten a good career with decent pay and health benefits.

While not in the least tempted by their heresies, I do respect them. They practice what they preach. For example, after my sister’s husband left her (with 4 pre-school children), she’d return to her car after worship, and find the back filled with groceries.

P.S. We were both raised Unitarian!
 
My personal experience. JW’s will shun members of their own families if family member belongs to a Christian Church and refuses JW. JW’s are not allowed to attend weedings in Christian Churches, much less perform in one. If your friend does perform, she will eventually be disciplined for it.
 
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Ruthie:
Hi, folks,

My sister, two of her daughters and their respective husbands are JWs.

The websire that Mama Mull gave us is an anti-JW website, and should thus be “taken with a grain of salt.” Look at all the lies about us Catholics that can be found on the web.

My sister has been to her high school reunion more than once.

MM, since you visited the Witnesses have given up trying to predect Armageddon. (I like to say they finally read “No man shall know the day and the hour…”)

Since then, my sister has gone to school and gotten a good career with decent pay and health benefits.

While not in the least tempted by their heresies, I do respect them. They practice what they preach. For example, after my sister’s husband left her (with 4 pre-school children), she’d return to her car after worship, and find the back filled with groceries.

P.S. We were both raised Unitarian!
Click to expand...
I looked at the anti-JW website and 98% of it is true… as a former JW I am familar with almost all of the “rules” listed. The only few I didn’t agree with are the “no eating Lucky Charms cereal, no playing chess and no attending class reunion” as you pointed out. Other than those - it’s pretty accurate. Of course not ALL JW’s follow every single rule - but most do - certainly all JW’s who want to be considered spiritually strong.

And while I’m happy that the JW’s in your sister’s congregation helped a fellow member with her groceries, it was my experience as a former witness that no one outside of the organization would be helped with food if in need. They did not encourage charitable contrabutions to any “wordly” group - or individual for that matter, unless they were studying with the witnesses. So in my opinion, they would hardly qualifiy as good Samaritans. Didn’t Jesus say that it was no big deal if we love those who love us back - even the world does that? It’s more important to love our enemies (or those that are difficult to love (and help) - such as those of different faiths?)

And regarding the no more predicting Armegeddon - There we literally generations of JW’s who didn’t get to go to college - wasting their entire lives looking for Aremegeddon that was right around the corner. I have a hard time forgetting about them…even if the organization has finally come to it’s senses regarding setting dates.
 
MM, since you visited the Witnesses have given up trying to predect Armageddon. (I like to say they finally read “No man shall know the day and the hour…”)
Click to expand...
Since then, my sister has gone to school and gotten a good career with decent pay and health benefits.
Click to expand...
While not in the least tempted by their heresies, I do respect them. They practice what they preach. For example, after my sister’s husband left her (with 4 pre-school children), she’d return to her car after worship, and find the back filled with groceries.
Click to expand...
Actually they HAVEn’t given up trying to predict Armageddon, ask your Witness family members what’s being said about the date 2034…in connection with Noah, 120 years…and 1914 when they claim Jesus returned.

A LOT will depend on your congregation. Specific Elders will view eating Lucky Charms as demonic, just as the Smurfs were considered demonic by some Elders…the same is true for Class Reunions, some considered them “bad” because you associate with “worldly” people at them.
 
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