Sick of facebook

[SuperLuigi]

=lapislazuli;11364343]I think even for very famous people the ability to communicate effectively is really limited. I’ve found on FB and the internet people state their opinions and it seems rare anyone really convinces anyone else to change their mind. It is also easy to get angry about politics.

I don’t think that happens very often at all on there, and it has to do with the communication dynamic.

People rarely ask for genuine advice on facebook, and when you start arguing about politics and religion (and this probably happens on here too, BTW), people won’t even read to understand and just start writing what they think is right.

There was even a movement on facebook (maybe there still is) where people join groups they don’t agree with just to argue—or they were so convinced they were right about anything and everything that they are some kind of great messenger.

To give you a little background on facebook, it used to be just for college students. Frankly, the problems started (or perhaps escalated) when it become open to the rest of the planet like its competitor myspace. But, that’s what a company will do to run a business. Hard to fault that.

I suspect a lot of famous people (the ones who are maybe a bit more business savvy) have staff running their facebook sites. A lot of angry people will rant and rave. Some will even say “IF you’re reading this then…” which I guess is some kind of internal consolation in case they don’t, which I suspect happens in nearly every case.

 

[MarcoPolo]

I use it mostly to post my own blog articles, share other articles, wish happy birthday to others, etc… If one does feel a call to evangelize online, it is certainly a venue where one can reach people they otherwise would not. That being said, it’s not the only way in the world one can witness to Christianity, and if it becomes too much an occasion of sin and arguments, etc., then perhaps it is best to steer clear.

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

I never joined Facebook. I sometimes don’t trust something that “everyone is doing”. So I felt that way for a long time. I have gotten used to the idea of it, but I don’t see any real reason to join. I would like to be able to see the Facebook pages of places I like to visit, or events that are coming up, so that I have a better idea of what is going on. That does bother me that it seems difficult to get some information unless you are a part of Facebook. And, yes, it is very strange that media and news channels are tied into it as well.

I like photography and enjoy taking videos of places that I have visited. So I have thought I would like a place I could just share those, but that is all I would want it for. Yesterday, I walked in a wooded area and took video along the walk. It would be nice to post that. But it sounds like Facebook is more than just that, much more. Perhaps what I really want is something like Flicker. I don’t know. I do a lot of stuff solo, so it would be nice to write bits of narrative along with photos.

My sister, whom I live with, is on Facebook a lot. She tells me the good aspects of it and the bad. She also tells me I would know more about family members if I was on it. But, couldn’t these family members, even distant ones, call me or ask her for my email and shoot me a friendly message now and then rather than I need to join this big club called Facebook to become connected?

One thing that doesn’t make sense to me is going to a party, say a birthday party, or a family gathering taking photos and video, along with others at the party or event, then spending a lot of time posting those to Facebook (while ignoring your spouse, etc), just to show others photos of what you have all just experienced! They are posting their photos too. Then you all are making comments back and forth. Wow, it is like people can’t be in the moment and keep it in their memory.

Before Facebook and digital cameras, we took time to get the photos developed and, once they were, we sat down together and looked at them - together.

I really, really dislike that someone in my family ir extended family can take a photo of me at a gathering (candidly), post it to Facebook, share it with others, maybe not have privacy settings, and now a photo with me shoving food in my mouth or whatever that I have not seen is accessible to folks I used to know who use Facebook. It is like I have no privacy. I am camera shy, unless I choose to pose. It would not be a privacy issue for me in the old days when a photo was something you shared, then tucked away in an album or box.

A few years back, I joined TripAdvisor Forums. I found myself spending a lot of time researching answers to travelers’ questions and would say I got addicted. I would have to tell myself to lay off for a few days. And that is something that is helpful to others. It’s very good to question yourself about how much time you are spending on a site and to try to pull back.

 

[lapislazuli]

thanks for all your responses. the only thing I’d really miss is the astronomy page, so it’s probably easiest to check that page and just stop posting.

 

[pensmama87]

One of the problems with FB for me: I deactivated my account for about a year, and found out that I’d missed on a bunch of get-togethers with friends because they used the “event” feature on FB to invite people. My husband would get invited, but he would forget to tell me about it, and would never RSVP. So I signed up again with really severe privacy settings, just so I would know what’s going on. Plus without FB I would probably never talk to my brother and sisters (they’re all early 20s). If I text or call, they don’t usually respond - but on FB they will.

It does have a tendency to suck you in, but honestly I have it set to ignore many people’s posts (and I have a suspicion I am ignored by many people on my “friends” list as well, after posting a few pro-Catholic things). I lost the person I thought was my BFF over FB - but FB was just the symptom, not the disease - she was a narcissist and FB does nothing if not allow those personality types to bloom.

I do have a blog page. I have wondered on a few occasions if I could delete my account but keep the blog page, or if the two have to go together. FB does not make it easy to figure out how to be less active/more private on their website, that’s for sure.

 

[3DOCTORS]

I use it mostly to post my own blog articles, share other articles, wish happy birthday to others, etc… If one does feel a call to evangelize online, it is certainly a venue where one can reach people they otherwise would not. That being said, it’s not the only way in the world one can witness to Christianity, and if it becomes too much an occasion of sin and arguments, etc., then perhaps it is best to steer clear.

So true! That was my experience. I found myself having mean-spirited thoughts toward people. It’s better to find a more constructive way to deal with the difficult ones. And as I mentioned in my earlier post, finding the proper blocking settings can make a big difference.

I never joined Facebook. ** I sometimes don’t trust something that “everyone is doing”.** So I felt that way for a long time. I have gotten used to the idea of it, but I don’t see any real reason to join. I would like to be able to see the Facebook pages of places I like to visit, or events that are coming up, so that I have a better idea of what is going on. That does bother me that it seems difficult to get some information unless you are a part of Facebook. And, yes, it is very strange that media and news channels are tied into it as well.

I resisted for quite awhile because of that kind of distrust. And I wish I’d known more of what I was getting into; I’d have taken a completely different approach as to who I “friended.”

It shouldn’t be that we’re compelled to join in order to be in the loop about other stuff. Sometimes, though, you can Google something and its Facebook page will display even though you don’t have a Facebook account. May or may not work with everything but I’ve had some luck with this when I didn’t want to have to “like” a page in order to view it.

My sister, whom I live with, is on Facebook a lot. She tells me the good aspects of it and the bad. She also tells me I would know more about family members if I was on it. But, couldn’t these family members, even distant ones, call me or ask her for my email and shoot me a friendly message now and then rather than I need to join this big club called Facebook to become connected?

For some reason, people who get hooked on Facebook seem to look upon e-mail as a decade or more ago, those with e-mail looked down at snail mail. Believe me, I tried to get my Facebook people to communicate with me other ways, with about a 2% success rate or less.

One thing that doesn’t make sense to me is going to a party, say a birthday party, or a family gathering taking photos and video, along with others at the party or event, **then spending a lot of time posting those to Facebook (while ignoring your spouse, etc), just to show others photos of what you have all just experienced! **They are posting their photos too. Then you all are making comments back and forth. Wow, it is like people can’t be in the moment and keep it in their memory.

Before Facebook and digital cameras, we took time to get the photos developed and, once they were, we sat down together and looked at them - together.

This isn’t a new phenomenon in our data-happy society - people (I’ve been guilty myself) are often more concerned with recording an experience than with experiencing it! Because we can, I suppose. We don’t stop to think what the consequences in terms of lost intimacy will be. Then we wonder sometimes why we feel a sense of isolation.

I really, really dislike that someone in my family ir extended family can take a photo of me at a gathering (candidly), post it to Facebook, share it with others, maybe not have privacy settings, and now a photo with me shoving food in my mouth or whatever that I have not seen is accessible to folks I used to know who use Facebook. It is like I have no privacy. I am camera shy, unless I choose to pose. It would not be a privacy issue for me in the old days when a photo was something you shared, then tucked away in an album or box.

I absolutely loathe the “tagging” feature in Facebook. I remove tags anyone has put of me. Maybe the argument could be made that since I consented to be in the photo I consented to being named to others. After all, people did that all the time in an informal verbal way. I do, however, maintain that there’s a distinction between saying to Grandma - “and that’s Aunt Susan in the background there taking the cake out of the oven” when you’re sitting on Grandma’s couch, and telling the whole cyberworld that it’s Susan Whoever. If Aunt Susan has Facebook it also highlights and links to her; if not, it still gives out information on her to the general public.

A few years back, I joined TripAdvisor Forums. I found myself spending a lot of time researching answers to travelers’ questions and would say I got addicted. I would have to tell myself to lay off for a few days. And that is something that is helpful to others. It’s very good to question yourself about how much time you are spending on a site and to try to pull back.

 

[AnotherMe]

I have been using Facebook since 2007. I have tried to stop. I have deactivated my account several times. I always go back. However, Facebook, when used correctly, can be an awesome networking tool. You just have to know how to use it correctly. But it’s easy to become overexposed. Sometimes mystery can be good. Keep them guessing. Facebook does take that away. But you can meet a few good people.

 

[Kal2012]

I use Facebook mainly to keep in touch with family/different groups of friends.

I love how it can be used for politics, but so many people are just inarticulate when it comes to our values that I wish they won’t share. I think that it really hurt Romney in 2012. For myself, I’ve been share ideas with people I’m not able to physically see on a regular basis, but I know have influence in my chosen political party.

Right now, the thing that keeps me on Facebook is the fact that I’ve found a network of people who have some of the same developmental challenges as my son. And my moms group uses it to inform members of events.

I’ve learned to limit my time on Facebook and I use Social Fixer (an add-on) so that some of the things that annoy most people about Facebook are hidden from view. Social Fixer also allows people to create filters/tabs and keeps my different groups organized. I can choose whether or not I look at a group of posts.

 

[pensmama87]

I use Facebook mainly to keep in touch with family/different groups of friends.

I love how it can be used for politics, but so many people are just inarticulate when it comes to our values that I wish they won’t share. I think that it really hurt Romney in 2012. For myself, I’ve been share ideas with people I’m not able to physically see on a regular basis, but I know have influence in my chosen political party.

Right now, the thing that keeps me on Facebook is the fact that I’ve found a network of people who have some of the same developmental challenges as my son. And my moms group uses it to inform members of events.

I’ve learned to limit my time on Facebook and I use Social Fixer (an add-on) so that some of the things that annoy most people about Facebook are hidden from view. Social Fixer also allows people to create filters/tabs and keeps my different groups organized. I can choose whether or not I look at a group of posts.

Where can you find the add-on? I like the sound of it!

 

[dedo]

I’m feeling tired of facebook and media in general. I see an awful lot I don’t agree with in today’s media. After a while it becomes frustrating to try to have a media interest at all so I’m thinking about deactivating my FB page.

Has anyone done this? It’s not really for political reasons it’s more that media in general has made me way too reactive to what other people are doing. I’d like to keep using the net/message boards/etc but I find on FB I’m tempted to waste time posting pictures and etc. it’s hard to express I’m just tired of it. There’ve been threads about this but I’ve thought about it enough I want to try deactivating of the account temporarily and see - that is an option. mostly, I feel that I’ve been very distressed and FB use/media preoccupation has been a part of this, I think it’s been both cause and effect.

I don’t think I have posted on FB in close to a year. I am not sure if I will deactivate it though because I only have it to keep up with a high school class and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings including some people that are ill now. However, if it is causing you stress, I would definitely consider deactivating it.

I agree with you about people being “reactive” on line. I have seen this in others and in myself as well. I think it is because a lot of our communication is nonverbal. When we don’t have the person in front of us, it is easy to make an “assumption” about what the person is saying. That assumption could easily be wrong. If we are not careful, we can react to the false “assumption” and the result is hurt feelings etc.

I am not sure of the answer to this. If you know the person in the real world then it may be less of a problem because you are less likely to make an assumption.

Right now, I am just trying to be careful.

 

[mikekle]

I joined facebook a few years ago, and at first it was nice to see all those people I went to school with and other friends from back in the days, but for the past 6 months or so, Ive burnt out on FB and rarely even visit now.

Its like anything else, it is whats popular right now, it wont last forever though, things like this come and go, and before you know it, it will be un-popular and people will have moved on to the next ‘big thing’.

If I dont get the urge to visit FB within the next few months, I will probably delete my account altogether.

I do find it kind of funny at some people out there, that seem to live on FB, they post every single thing that goes on in the life almost on a real time basis LOL, I guess it fells a void in their life, but I can honestly say I would get real sick of that real quick!

 

[garn9173]

I use Facebook. If you don’t like it, don’t use it.

Post of the year. If you hate social media just don’t use it and don’t come crying here about your dislike for it.

 

[mommamaree]

I went through and got rid of some friends I hadn’t had contact with, and I don’t have that many friends. the only thing I would want to keep it for is a beautiful astronomy page that is only available on FB, google, and twitter, and the FB display is the best. Other than that I can’t see much of a reason. if I can deactivate my page and still view theirs it would be great.

Please tell me what the astronomy page is!

 

[lapislazuli]

Please tell me what the astronomy page is!

milky way scientists
facebook.com/Milkyway.Nasa.115943216485228220871

I decided I’d miss that page too much and it doesn’t take much time to look at images so I’m just leaving my account as is. I deleted some friends I never talked to and fan pages.

 

[3DOCTORS]

I don’t think I have posted on FB in close to a year. I am not sure if I will deactivate it though because I only have it to keep up with a high school class and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings including some people that are ill now. However, if it is causing you stress, I would definitely consider deactivating it.

I agree with you about people being “reactive” on line. I have seen this in others and in myself as well. I think it is because a lot of our communication is nonverbal. When we don’t have the person in front of us, it is easy to make an “assumption” about what the person is saying. That assumption could easily be wrong. If we are not careful, we can react to the false “assumption” and the result is hurt feelings etc.

I am not sure of the answer to this. If you know the person in the real world then it may be less of a problem because you are less likely to make an assumption.

Right now, I am just trying to be careful.

I think that business about the non face-to-face conversation is part of the problem. But it may go back - I’ll speak for myself, anyway - to the point at which one starts on Facebook and finds all their various “likes” - music, books, humor, organizations, politics, religion, etc. - and wants to share them. Just as a way of saying “This is me, this is what I believe and am interested in.” And for us Christians, there’s also the angle of evangelization. But the ones who believe opposite to us are going to do the same thing. Trouble ensues. :slapfight:

 

[laircy]

I have “liked” many Catholic pages and other interesting pages to get news, articles, generally awesome things, so that is mainly all I use it for. That and occasionally sharing some of my own thoughts and pictures. I guess since the experience is so personalized it can vary greatly from person to person, which is why some hate it and some love it.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

One of the problems with FB for me: I deactivated my account for about a year, and found out that I’d missed on a bunch of get-togethers with friends because they used the “event” feature on FB to invite people. My husband would get invited, but he would forget to tell me about it, and would never RSVP. So I signed up again with really severe privacy settings, just so I would know what’s going on. Plus without FB I would probably never talk to my brother and sisters (they’re all early 20s). If I text or call, they don’t usually respond - but on FB they will.

Several of my family members refused to get a Facebook account for the longest time but finally gave in because certain family members would only invite people to gatherings and/or post news on Facebook. Several of those same people took to mistreating and gossiping about the non-Facebooking family members specifically because they refused to get on Facebook. Ironically, the nasty family members are the ones that the people who were being mistreated now tell me I should embrace and get back in touch with because they’re such kind and wonderful people. I’m quite content to be left off their invitation lists now.

 

[CAROLOFTHEBELLS]

I live at the house were most of the family events go on, or at least a great deal of planning and talking about things such as birthday parties that will take place elsewhere. So I often get a basic “head’s up” prior instead of an invite. I am actually getting tired of parties!

 

[TheWarriorMonk]

Facebook is a basically a necessity for some people like myself that have hobbies involving many people. As a personal example, I’ve very involved in martial arts, and nearly everyone I’ve met in martial arts is on FB. I know where and when all the relevant local events are at any time. Prior to FB and other social media, it would take 10x longer to find out this information, if at all. It’s a great, big time saver for me.

There are always those “friends” that are insensitive jerks that post political and religious hate speech. Just delete and/or block them. You do need to associate with on or off the computer, plus you don’t need to get stressed out when you see their **** posted. And even if these people are close to you in “real life,” most won’t say anything about the defriending, because they’re a lot “tougher” on the computer than they are face to face.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

I use Facebook. If you don’t like it, don’t use it.

Ditto. It helps me keep in touch with friends and family all in one place.