Sick of God Letting Me Suffer

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ethereality

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Sorry for the rambling and harsh nature of this post. I’m seeking your help and don’t know how else to say it except to just “spit it out” as best I can. (There isn’t a very clean way to vomit, in a manner of speaking…)

I’ve been suffering for a while now. I’m sick of praying to an absent God, I’m sick of Christian doctrine that is not understandable, I’m sick of the suffering. I don’t know what to think, except that God not existing seems to “fit the data” just as well as the Christian doctrine of a God who lets his followers suffer, or actually causes them to suffer more – a theology of the God of Abraham being malicious fits the experiential data we have as well, does it not? Fr. Serpa likes to refer people to the Lord’s Passion, to Good Friday, to “learn how much God loves us”, but we can also conclude from it that God loves suffering so much that he became Man just to experience it for himself. All of God’s blessings, happy circumstances we like to call “answered prayer”, then, are just temporary reprieves to let the torture victim recover a bit, to prolong his life so God can “squeeze more suffering” out of him.

I’m sick of this life; I’m sick of living in an evil world, isolated from both God and man. My relationships with both appear to be “all in my head” – priests say sometimes in Confession that “the reality is there, God is there, regardless of how you feel”, but such an invisible reality contradicts how God has made us, as physical, experiential beings. Our reality is experienced, not “thought”, and God seems more in the realm of imagination than in experience – again, see how random suffering and blessing is; there appears no correlation between being a good Christian and having a good life; it all seems a mental game, going to Mass on Sunday to encourage one to live another week on this miserable planet.

So I try to study history, right? That’s Christianity’s “big claim to truth”, is that Jesus really existed, really taught and healed, really was murdered and really rose from the dead. The event happened so far ago, evidence so far removed, that it is impossible to know it with certainty. We’re not even sure where the writings in the Bible came from (except perhaps the Torah and Moses?).

Miracles happen, right? Like Our Lady of Fatima and the Miracle of the Sun? I’m still trying to find evidence and reliable accounts of them, and so far it’s been sketchy, at best. The first healing of Sr. Faustina Kowalska, of a woman with a missing leg healed of lymphoma, appears coincidental – I’m not convinced that she’s been healed, or that natural processes didn’t do it – and the account only underscores the lack of mercy of God, for this woman and her husband to have such a miserable life. If God were merciful, we would be spared of evil like this couple had to go through (health and financial problems).

The Miracle of the Sun is likewise frustrating: Why would God reveal such things only to a few? Why would a remarkable feat not be better documented, received more worldwide attention? The story does not seem different from UFO sightings. And if it is true, then it only underscores that Mary wants us all to be miserable on behalf of those causing our misery. Again, nothing to life except to suffer and die for a God whom we apparently must imagine to experience.

I suppose I’m angry, bitter, hurt and resentful at God. Such strong emotions make it difficult to think logically, or to be open-minded. Regarding a child who has his feelings hurt and is close to crying, I suppose I need comfort, hugs, but there is no comfort for me. I feel that I’ve gotten all the help there is; found every explanation there is; received the Sacraments; lived according to the Church teachings (and done what I could to help the poor); tithed and prayed; Nothing. God does not speak to me; I feel I survive in spite of God; God is absent, and I remain miserable on melancholy, happiness brief and fleeting.

And so what do I do? Live one day at a time, trying to be the best Catholic I can be because I want God to exist, but I am left bitter and hurt, because I am miserable and God has left me standing outside in the rain. I’m tired of the rain. I want to go inside … As a kind of analogy, I feel like God’s thrown me out of his house (heaven) and has locked me outside at night in a thunderstorm (evil Earth) and won’t let me back in. Clearly, I can’t smash a window and try to get back in by force (suicide); I could try seeking shelter in other ways, like taking drugs so the thunderstorm isn’t as bad (secular hedonism), knocking on the door of Pride (I’ll follow any agreeable temptation) or of Islam (their theology may not be rooted in history, but at least it’s intelligible, unlike Christianity; might as well go with one more pleasing if neither is rooted in reality) …

My point is that I’m tired of suffering in such an evil society, but God won’t let me escape. So rather than a loving Father, God seems to enjoy watching me suffer, and any successes appear in spite of God, or else because he wants to prolong my life so I might suffer more.
 
There was a woman, she was a great woman, a pure woman who suffered greatly during her life. She was married to an abusive husband, with a son who picked up his father’s traits. Then after the death of both her husband and son, that great woman entered a convent where she prayed daily:
_ “Lord, let me suffer like you”
A thorn then came off the Crown of Thorn and flew straight into her head, which caused her much suffering till her death.
The question is why she asked to be suffered? Why didn’t she flee from God when this suffering came to her? When her husband and son died, why didnt she curse God? The only answer can only come from faith. That woman was called St.Rita, the famous saint which often depicted with a red dot on her forehead, represent the thorn, and I encourage you to learn about her life.

Can you imagine Jesus, on the Cross, suffered, crucified. His wounds are not just physical but mental and emotional as well. Those who once shouted “Hosana” now shouted “Crucify!”. Those who once claim to be His disciples now abandoned Him. He’s alone, hurt, and upon Him bear the sins of all men, including those who crucified Him. So Hurt that He yelled out “My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?!” Yet He died, He allowed the cup of suffer came to Him so that He can save the whole world.

Why does God allow us to suffer? Allow His Christians to suffer? Allow His sheeps to suffer? That’s a mystery, but certainly not unwarned. Christ Himself never promised richness or love for His followers. He only told them that there will be many people persecute them, and they shall carry His cross. The early Christians suffered, they suffered a great deal, but they didn’t see it as an absence of God, nor did they see it as the impotence of God, but they saw it as an opportunity for them to suffer for God.

God enjoy watching us suffer just as a parent enjoy watching their children fall from the bike or break his arm. That is untrue, God does not enjoy watching us suffer, but God wants us to go through those suffering. God want us to go through the suffer which He endured.Why? I don’t really know, but I can only offer my best speculation is that by suffer like God, we can see the world clearer, by suffer like Christ, we can humble ourselves and help others. God allow suffering is not just a mere enjoyment, but God allow suffering is for us to learn and to progress in both of our faith and moral.

Jesus historicity can be learned through both historical records from both Jewish and Gentile historians, also through reason. I mean if we can believe in Socrates, why can’t Jesus? The miracle of the Sun I would offer my best guess is for Catholics, Catholics who suffered, Catholics who need encouragement in such a time of turbulent, and who need a prophecy for the future. Our Lady came to offer that but through Her, God needs us to do His works, God need us to use this prophecy and bring Him the souls that are troubled, the souls that are unloved.

That being said, I want to say God loves you, He’s there when you need Him, and because He’s there, just pray.
 
As Christians we do suffer. It seems like to me the closer I get to Jesus, the more I suffer. When I converted 6 years ago I went through major persecution and major health problems. When we have these sufferings we draw closer to Jesus. My priest started teaching me about redemptive suffering and now I look at it as a blessing. Below is a website that shares how the saints look at suffering.

Purgative, Unitive, and Redemptive qualities of Suffering
religious-vocation.com/redemptive_suffering.html
 
Hang in there! You are going through the dark night. Remember that Mother Theresa went through that for 50 years. No one but her confessor knew. She taught the love of Jesus to all. She hid how she was suffering internally. Now the Lord is rewarding her. How she must be glowing in His love! You can, too. Stay with Him no matter the temptation to leave. He understands your pain. You will reap great rewards if you accept great sufferings in His name. God cannot be outdone in generosity,
 
First of all, speaking as a licensed counselor, I want to suggest screening for depression. You may have a medical problem underlying your spiritual issues.

Another thing I was wondering–your outlook seems quite Calvinist in its beliefs and consequences. Did you grow up in a Calvinist (Reformed) faith tradition?

Moving past that question, I answered the poll “More” before I read your post.

Why? Because I think sincere Christians who pray and earnestly seek to know and love God and who have a spiritual perception of things, are more sensitive to the fallen-ness of the world–the creation and man’s sin. Ignorance was bliss but there is no going back to that ignorant state.

Another part of our sorrow and suffering is knowing that our destiny includes having a glorified body that is perfect with no illness or pain or scars, and our perfected sinlessness in which our minds and bodies are perfectly subject to our purified wills in all holiness. I would love to be perfect! When I had the best physical condition in this life, I was a big sinner and ungrateful and dissatisfied for what I did have. How marvelous to get a perfected body and holy sinlessness back at the Last Day! That is so worth it. Eye has not seen and ear has not heard what the Lord has prepared for us!

I think of my loved ones who have passed, and how time flies, and how brief this life is compared to eternity. What we are going to become is so wonderful! Just a little while longer.

Knowing what is promised to me, I can bear it for now. I’ve beaten three cancers with the help of Divine Providence and wonderful health care teams. However, treatment itself wounds the body and I am scarred and in pain with decreased mobility and a dry mouth and the cavities it causes. And yet I am happy and at peace with things. God wouldn’t let me beat three cancers unless he had something in mind for me, for which I have to stick around. In the end, hindsight will be 20/20 and I will see how it all worked together.

If you see the world as evil, I challenge you to restore your balance by looking for the good. This is God’s good world and it is not totally evil.

You’re looking for miracles and consolations, and yet, the people closest to God are blinded to His nearness because of the brightness of His glory. That’s called the Dark Night of the Soul. Sometimes God gives his children candy (consolations), but He can’t nourish His children on candy and expect them to grow. He gives vegetables (the Dark Night)–withdrawing his consolations, to see if you love Him or the candy. The gifts or the Giver.

Finally, you may continue to suffer–physically and from the sensitivity of spiritual perception. But your suffering isn’t punishment! It can be a purification and you can “offer it up” for the conversion of sinners, for the transformation of the faithful, for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit, for the Poor Souls in Purgatory, for whatever. That is the other only way I can bear my suffering–to make sure it isn’t wasted.

This is Biblical: in Colossians 1:24, St. Paul says:

Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church

Consecrate and offer up your suffering!

Jesus told us that we were to PICK UP OUR CROSSES and follow Him. He never promised it would be easy. Now, if you’re like me, you want a Cross that’s made of styrofoam, with a nice cushy shoulder pad, and wheels (with ball bearings in them like a skateboard). No such thing.

I would recommend to you Fr. Benedict Groeschel CFR. Have you heard of him? He is a psychologist and priest and founder of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, and he has a wonderful New York negativity/accurate outlook on the world, and yet he has a wonderfully consoling outlook and deep spiritual perception. I LOVE LOVE LOVE him. Any book, tape, preaching, appearance, speech, resource of anything he does is worthwhile. I would especially commend “Arise from Darkness” because it’s about suffering. He’s authored a little prayer leaflet, “You Are Not Alone - Prayers In Dark Times” that is excellent.

You can listen to a lot of his series and EWTN appearances at their audio library page. ewtn.com/vondemand/audio/intro.asp - just type Groeschel into the search box.

That’s all I can think of right now to offer something to you. But I am concerned, and will keep you in my prayers. This current world is very tough on people with faith. The world seems very post-Christian.

Our believing without seeing, in a world hostile to our faith, will mean greater merit for us. :getholy:
 
Matthew 5:10-12
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Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.
Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so men persecuted the prophets who were before you.
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There is more than one way of experiencing things. Atheists/agnostics act like science is the only area of human knowledge, but it isn’t. And science/experiments/knowledge is always changing and expanding, so it’s not really reliable as a worldview, or a good bet for your soul to say what can be seen/heard/touched/smelled/tasted is all that exists.

And yes we are certain that Jesus existed and we do know where the Bible came from. I suggest reading “The Case for Christ” and “The Case for a Creator”. There are other books “The Case for Faith” and “The Case for the Real Jesus” that are also helpful.

Jesus not existing is not a logical position and is not based in reality. Christianity had opponents from the very beginning… if Jesus never existed then they would have pointed that out and it would have ended before it started. Also, the apostles were willing to die for their beliefs. This isn’t the same as, say, Muslims who die for their beliefs, because the Muslims’ beliefs are faith only, and the apostles where in a position to KNOW the truth FOR CERTAIN and still died. There are some “historians” who claim Jesus didn’t exist, but it’s also not based in reality and is more for their own purposes, like those who deny the Holocaust really happened, or think only a few people died. Those Jesus-never-existed views are far from mainstream scholoarship and their “facts” are based on sources that have been discredited 200 years ago. The Gospels are presented as history in a real time and place, unlike the myths about gods who lived in an undisclosed time and place in the distant past.

The Bible came from the followers of Jesus or those who were under the instruction of those who did know him. Only the books by really reliable people with great reputations were included. The gospels were written in the first century. We can tell the dates by their contents and fact-checking shows the time and place are true. We can also tell that some of the newer fake gospels were NOT written in the first or even second century because the historical context does not check with other works written in that time period. The real Gospels do check with other works during that period. (Examples: gospel of peter, gospel of judas, etc.) Some people act like those “gospels” are true even though they’ve been discredited years ago.

We also know the Bible is reliable because we have old copies and they match with the new ones with 99.5% accuracy. There are supposedly many differences, but those are mostly due to spelling, obvious errors where one word was written twice in a row and it’s obvious what was supposed to be in that word’s place, or word order (the Greek) doesn’t matter in the language it was written (they all say the same thing even if words aren’t in exactly the same order).
 
kentuckyliz said:
Our believing without seeing, in a world hostile to our faith, will mean greater merit for us. :getholy:
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Yes, that is something I sometimes think about: It is difficult for me to be impressed with the lives of the saints because I keep being tempted to think “They had it easier” – that is, the world is growing progressively more evil, such that Jesus asks rhetorically, “Will there still be faith [when I return]?” (And it seems an open question whether “the Great Apostasy” has yet occurred, where many Christians will fall away.) It seems that many of the saints (after Christianity became well-established – not speaking of the Roman martyrs) struggled and persevered while their world was Christian, hence they did not have the added burden of being told their lives were ridiculous, believing in delusions and historical fantasy. Even the Roman martyrs, perhaps they were being killed precisely because the truth was so well known, similar to political martyrs today fighting totalitarian regimes. They can take solace in their suffering in knowing that they’re right, that God exists – we can only hope that we’re right …

And what of the miracles that Jesus said we would perform? Is St. Augustine correct, that those were only for establishing Christianity in the world? It seems evidence that maybe the entire thing was fictional and spread through means we aren’t aware of – similar to so-called “Islam” today: Islam is now a major world religion, and we would say that Gabriel certainly didn’t visit Muhammad, just as the pagans would say Jesus certainly didn’t rise from the dead. Where’s their proof that Gabriel visited Muhammad? Where’s our proof that Jesus rose from the dead? People have been martyred on both sides, and even in religious cults, or military dying for their country – none of it means that who they’re fighting for is correct or true … So it seems always to come down to “Inconclusive – choose what you want to believe”. Why won’t God give us something more firm? Why can’t we know God with the same certainty that we know the physical sciences?
 
Actually, most of the scientists I know are people of faith. They know a lot more than you and me and it brings them to a place of awe. 👍

The scientific method was a product of the Catholic Church, so this faith versus science artificial construct doesn’t click with me.

I agree that the aggressive atheists are really going after people of faith and faith itself, but atheism is an article of faith (you can’t prove a negative) and “by their fruits you shall know them”–I don’t see the bloated alcoholic depression of Christopher Hitchens to be evidence of good fruit. His brother (a Catholic) seems to be a lot happier.

The people I know who have embraced the new atheism show the same kind of fruits. Selfish, no fellow-feeling, no compassion, living isolated and miserable, usually use drugs, hard-shelled pride and contempt for others, and the lack of success in their efforts in life because no one wants to work with such miserable critters. Not a good team player.

My parents were English and kept their beautiful accents all their lives and I will tell you what–Americans will believe anything an intelligent person with a British accent says, due to Anglophilia. There’s a reason why the new atheists are British. It’s to charm people with the accent. 😉
 
ethereality said:
Yes, that is something I sometimes think about: It is difficult for me to be impressed with the lives of the saints because I keep being tempted to think “They had it easier” – that is, the world is growing progressively more evil, such that Jesus asks rhetorically, “Will there still be faith [when I return]?” (And it seems an open question whether “the Great Apostasy” has yet occurred, where many Christians will fall away.) It seems that many of the saints (after Christianity became well-established – not speaking of the Roman martyrs) struggled and persevered while their world was Christian, hence they did not have the added burden of being told their lives were ridiculous, believing in delusions and historical fantasy. …

And what of the miracles that Jesus said we would perform? Is St. Augustine correct, that those were only for establishing Christianity in the world?
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When Christ says he would divide families, that’s even in a Christian age. It rocks the boat to be converted and causes conflict in a family. So no, it’s not easier in a Christian age. And I don’t think you know enough about the ancient world to think today is progressively worse. There’s an evil stench in every age. Read the saints’ writings–they thought their age was the worst, in every century.

I’ve received, witnessed, and been a channel for miracles so I can’t really comment on your doubt of miracles.

Earlier you bemoaned, why didn’t more people see the Miracle of the Sun at Fatima? They did. Including atheists and skeptics and enemies of the Church. It was written up in the newspapers and people farther away from the site saw weird sun phenomena too.

Our Lady’s apparition at Zeitun, Egypt was photographed and reported on in the newspapers for a long time. Huge crowds including Muslims showed up to see it.

Knock was witnessed by 15 people of all ages and both genders and varying levels of faith before the apparition happened.

The tilma of Guadalupe is scientifically inexplicable to this day, and converted millions of pagans who practiced human sacrifice and were hostile to the faith of the white Spanish conquistadors.

But the miracle of miracles is Jesus’ resurrection from the dead.

If he hasn’t risen, our faith is in vain. --St. Paul.

How could the Apostles lie, and get the Roman guards to participate in the lie, and the hostile Jewish authorities, and make hundreds of people saw the Resurrected Jesus and his Ascension?

Where are his bones? The Christians from the earliest days of the Church venerated relics.

In my state, in a church in Louisville, there are laid out remains of two Roman martyrs (pre-Christian Roman Empire), and it’s awesome to be in their presence.

St. Philomena is a late-discovered Roman martyr and many miracles are attributed to her.

To comprehend the miracles, you have to grant God the possibility to allow miracles in this day and age. That’s a step of faith.

Carrel (LeCarre backwards–a Nobel Prize winning medical doctor) was a skeptic who witnessed the total healing of a dying person at Lourdes and wrote a book about it.

Alphonse Ratisbonne was a Jewish atheist critic of the Church who on a dare wore the Miraculous Medal and prayed a Marian prayer and was miraculously given the gift of faith. He was a famous conversion.

Blessed are they who have not seen, and believe – Jesus’ words to Saint Thomas the Apostle, who doubted the very resurrected Jesus standing before him, and had to put his hand in his lanced side to make sure. He went on to evangelize India (establishing the Syro-Malabar Catholic Church) and be martyred. When the Jesuits showed up in the 16th century to evangelize India, they found the Thomas Catholics who had the same sacraments, beliefs, Mass, and who made the Sign of the Cross. Even with persecution by hostile Hindus and Muslims (even today), this faith and this church survived. That’s a freakin’ miracle. 😃
 
I want to say first of all that I’m praying for you. Please know that you’re no alone in this. I would imagine I’m not alone in praying for you 🙂

I’ve found that suffering is one of the most common objections people have to belief in God. The problem of evil, they call it. However, I’ve also observed that a lot of Catholics manage to find meaning in their suffering, and have learned how to grow closer to God through it.

Now, I know, it may be tempting to think that that is a total contradiction, and to think that these folks who find meaning in their suffering are just talking themselves into a false sense of joy. However, this is simply not the case.

I think it would be helpful to consider the Incarnation. Suffering is hard, everyone will admit that. However, Christianity is unique in that it reveals a God who shares in our sufferings, a God who became man, willfully subjecting himself to all of the hardships of this life, except for sin. No matter how bad things get, take consolation in the fact that our God is not a distant, uncaring, aloof God. Rather, He is a God who has traveled through this veil of tears Himself. I think that this article would be helpful: examiner.com/young-catholic-in-san-jose/part-ii-our-lady-of-guadalupe-and-the-pro-life-movement-by-fr-frank-pavone-priests-for-life

I would also recommend going to Adoration if at all possible. Meditate on the fact that God is right there, with you. He has not left you alone. He has not abandoned you. Suffering is never easy. But, suffering alone is infinitely harder. You do not suffer alone.

Feel free to private message me if you ever need to talk. Again, you do not suffer alone.
 
I knew a guy who after 30 years of living a sexually promiscuous gay lifestyle came down with four sexually transmitted diseases that currently have no cures, AIDS, genital herpes, Hepatitis, and the fourth was the other kind of herpes that causes cold sores but let’s just say it wasn’t anywhere near his mouth. He blamed God for his situation and punished Him by refusing to believe in Him.
 
Dude, happiness is a choice. The world is no more or less evil than it has ever been. It is your reaction to the world that colors it as evil or good. Go watch the movie Zombieland and contemplate how much better your life would be lived in accordance with rule 32: enjoy the little things. Sun on your face, being able to read, write, your obvious intellect, this discussion,every little thing.

God does not reveal himself definitively for his own reasons. I suspect it is to allow us freedom to choose, but whatever. This life is less than an eye blink in relation to eternity, can any amount of suffering within this blink be overwhelming? It is like a parent taking their child to the dr for a vaccination. It does hurt the child. But in the context of their whole life it is nothing.

Right now I’m a single dad, the wife of over 20 yrs that I truly love left me and our kids. It is an ugly, painful ordeal. If I focus on the negative, it is overwhelming. God did not do this to me or the kids, it was a human choice. I choose, or perhaps God has given me the ability to focus on all the positives. I am closer to my kids than I could ever have hoped to be, I’m healthy, I can see, I can breathe easily, I have food on the table, my kids smile, they enjoy playing with their dogs.

My situation may be trivial compared to yours. I’ve met people who are happy and cheerful in far worse situations than mine, coping with blindness, crippled etc. Read the letters of St Justin the martyr who expressed joy at the knowledge he was being taken to be executed. Pain and suffering is a personal thing. I’ve also known people who from my perspective had everything who were bitter and frustrated about some thing they lacked that they obsessed over.

Something amazing did happen 2000 yrs ago. It caused devout Jewish fisherman to go on journeys throughout the known world telling an incredible story. They wouldn’t have done that if there was not truth behind it- that is where my faith starts.
 
ethereality said:
Sorry for the rambling and harsh nature of this post. I’m seeking your help and don’t know how else to say it except to just “spit it out” as best I can. (There isn’t a very clean way to vomit, in a manner of speaking…)

Fr. Serpa likes to refer people to the Lord’s Passion, to Good Friday, to “learn how much God loves us”, but we can also conclude from it that God loves suffering so much that he became Man just to experience it for himself.
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I am truly sorry ethereality that you feel this way. You say from the Lord’s Passion it can also be concluded that “God loves suffering so much that he became Man just to experience it for himself”!
I watched a movie recently though I do not remember the title nor the details of the plot but it was about a Government agent on the trail of some terrorists and he was very committed to this. To stop him or to retaliate, the terrorists kidnapped his wife and son. They send him pictures of them booby trapped all bound up; all that separated them from instant, horrible death, was a button being controlled by the terrorist!
The agent is in agony! He pleads, he begs the terrorist to take him instead of his son. He is ready and willing to undergo whatever torture was to come his way, willing and ready to die instead of his son, why? was it because " he loved suffering so much", of course not; it was because he loved his son so, so very much!
I am really sorry you are suffering. Without faith, even suffering is in vain!
 
Some of what you describe–the problem of evil in the world, a lack of a sense of closeness with God, and a sense of futility–is well-addressed from a surprising source, the book entitled “Alcoholics Anonymous,” in the chapter called “We Agnostics.” I hesitate to post this on a Catholic website, but read this chapter years ago when I was undergoing a crisis of faith myself. My uncle was a longterm member of AA, sober for over thirty years by the time he died, and had this book in his house (I believe it is referred to as “The Big Book.”) It is decidedly nondenominational in its approach.

What struck me most in that book were a couple of lines that addressed the focus of people on criticizing the behavior of some religious people while failing to note that religion has given purpose and direction to millions through the ages. The other line that spoke to my starving (at the time) soul was this: “When we drew near to Him, He disclosed Himself to us.”

If you can find a copy of that book, either in person or online, I would highly recommend reading that chapter. It is the best argument for the position of faith I have ever read, because it is simple and easy to understand.

It is also my observation from what I was going through at the time that much of my suffering was self-induced. Although I have never been a drinker or addict, the world view of “I want what I want when I want it, and God had better give it to me” was pretty much a cry of my generation. It was only through a long period of meditation, self-discipline, and prayer that I could emerge beyond this “dark night of the soul,” which was brought on by self-centeredness and irresponsibility to a life which is full of peace and dignity.

This is not to say that life for me is without problems. There is no such thing. I am not trying to be sarcastic here, but for me it is important that I avoid mixing up God and Santa Claus! I do know, that by His grace, I have been provided with every resource that I need, spiritually and emotionally, to meet challenges calmly and productively. And when those challenges have been too much to bear, I still can rejoice that He is always with me, and is ultimately in charge. All will be well.
 
Of all the gods that exist Jesus alone rewards his followers by taking away the good and granting them more suffering. This is done so the follower will love him more than anything else, if he sees anything that comes close he will destroy it.

He is a rather jealous and possessive deity.
 
Praying for you from today’s Liturgy of the Hours,
part of Psalm 117 (118):

I shall not die, but live,
and tell of the works of the Lord.
The Lord chastised me severely
but did not let me die.
Open the gates of righteousness:
I will go in, and thank the Lord.
 
Lots of responses, so far. Lots of people trying to figure out how to help you.

But I am not sure what’s the nature of your suffering? Do you have some sort of flesh eating disease? Cancer? Bone cancer? Gout? Rheumatoid Arthritis? How long?

What’s the nature and source and length of your suffering? What does your suffering prevent you from doing? How does it stop you from giving yourself?
 
You know, i used to (and actually sometimes still do) feel exactly like you. I suffer daily, physically and sometimes emotionally and spiritually. If I pray on that day, for the grace and strength to get through, just that day God gets me through, and that keeps me enouraged. I still continue to ask for healing through my own prayers and those of others, but so far, God’s response to that question has been NO!
I know how hard it is to keep the faith…but try, just one day at a time. God Bless you and keep you and may Mother Mary offer you comfort. I will pray for you too.

Laura U
 
i feel the opposite i feel like i dont suffer enough or at all. I want to be able offer up my pain and suffering to the lord for others an myself but this is hard to do when you dont suffer.
 
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