W
wild_thing
Guest
I don’t really know why, but I have been feeling downright awful lately, emotionally and spiritually. I am so nervous and scared to meet with my spiritual director this afternoon. Ever since what I thought was an inspired prayer to God to make an offering of my self in union with Jesus (see my signature, a prayer of St. Faustina), I feel strange. All of a sudden, I am too scared to go to confession. All of a sudden, I see my soul as a clogged filter, with filth and debris choking out the breath of the Holy Spirit. I feel like there is so many things about me that are displeasing to God, but I cannot rationally p(name removed by moderator)oint what these things are and what to do about them. I’m scared to keep receiving Holy Communion, that I might be offending God more. I have all sorts of bad temptations that I feel I am giving into. I’m not a particularly good mother. I am also one of the most deeply stupid people ever created. My ditziness is a real trial to me and must also be to my family.
I’m wondering if God was annoyed by my presumption to offer myself and that is why I am flailing around in confusion and unhappiness. I feel restless, empty and numb. I do not feel as though I can talk to anyone about the love and mercy of God, because all I feel within myself is a chasm of misery so great it seems as if God Himself couldn’t fill it.
Please pray for me today as I meet with my priest, that he be the voice of God for me and that I follow God’s will by listening to his advice. Please, please pray that God will inspire him and He will talk through him to me. I am so afraid.
I’m wondering if God was annoyed by my presumption to offer myself and that is why I am flailing around in confusion and unhappiness. I feel restless, empty and numb. I do not feel as though I can talk to anyone about the love and mercy of God, because all I feel within myself is a chasm of misery so great it seems as if God Himself couldn’t fill it.
Please pray for me today as I meet with my priest, that he be the voice of God for me and that I follow God’s will by listening to his advice. Please, please pray that God will inspire him and He will talk through him to me. I am so afraid.
