Sigh...frustrated with nature!

[muffinmojo]

I just sort of need to vent. I’m approaching 17, I have a steady girlfriend (Catholic too!) who is also my best, best friend in the world, but is very sensitive and because of her childhood and the way she was raised has trouble feeling comfortable around people. Finally we begin to be truly comfortable as friends and as a ‘couple’… and I start losing my hair. I’ve tried silly things like rogaine, but I don’t want to spend vast amounts of money so I gave up when that stopped working. I’m pretty much resigned to it, and in the next few weeks i will probably shave my head, as it will become unavoidable, no matter how i brush it. The worst part isn’t that I will feel strange with no hair, it’s that I feel like i will be embarrassing for her to be around, to be seen walking with, etc. She denies this, I know she cares about me, but I also know that she cannot help but be disappointed and embarrassed…

Well anyway, this feels pretty silly to be even talking about when so many people here have legitimate struggles with ‘real life’, marriages and children and such, but I just need some advice from someone, anyone, on how to cope! I’m trying to be positive, I feel like I’m coming to terms with it, but I can’t shake the feeling of being a disappointment to the person i care most about I also feel kind of cheated by nature, though that is probably vain and ridiculous, because my older brother is still quite well endowed in the follicle department, and even my dad who lost his hair early didn’t go bald until he was in his mid-20’s. Sigh…well, life goes on I suppose. Just writing this made me feel a little better Maybe ill buy a toupee

 

[Belgarion]

Shaved heads are all the rage now.
I’d say go for that.
Chicks dig it

And guys automatically think you’re tough. Can’t go wrong…except in winter…And that’s what hats are for!

 

[juno24]

Well anyway, this feels pretty silly to be even talking about when so many people here have legitimate struggles with ‘real life’, marriages and children and such, but I just need some advice from someone, anyone, on how to cope! I’m trying to be positive, I feel like I’m coming to terms with it, but I can’t shake the feeling of being a disappointment to the person i care most about I also feel kind of cheated by nature, though that is probably vain and ridiculous, because my older brother is still quite well endowed in the follicle department, and even my dad who lost his hair early didn’t go bald until he was in his mid-20’s. Sigh…well, life goes on I suppose. Just writing this made me feel a little better Maybe ill buy a toupee

Don’t resign yourself to going bald just yet. Hair loss is often a sign of hormonal imbalance, and can also be an early sign of diabetes. My advice would be to see a doctor and have him run some blood work to see if your hormones are out of whack and check your blood sugar levels.
Good luck, and if it is purely a hereditary thing, then start checking out some really stylish hats for winter.

 

[Em_in_FL]

Don’t resign yourself to going bald just yet. Hair loss is often a sign of hormonal imbalance, and can also be an early sign of diabetes. My advice would be to see a doctor and have him run some blood work to see if your hormones are out of whack and check your blood sugar levels.
Good luck, and if it is purely a hereditary thing, then start checking out some really stylish hats for winter.

Agreed… make sure you cover all your bases before writing it off purely as “nature” or “genetics”. Taking care of yourself is important too!

And, as others have said… the bald looks is totally macho! Go with what works!

Good luck and prayers for you and your girlfriend.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

I also think you should rule out any medical reasons, considering you are so young.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

**And please don’t assume your girlfriend is embarrassed or disappointed! Unless she actually tells you this, banish it from your mind! You can’t know what she thinks…don’t try.

Oh, and please don’t buy a toupee:dts:**

 

[kage_ar]

Don’t scare the poor kid that he is sick!!!

Of course, everyone should see their doc regularly and when there are changes in your body.

That being said, premature baldness is a genetic fact of life. Men who experience it get the gene from mom’s side.

My DH began to lose his hair around the same age. By the time he graduated college, Rogaine was just out and you needed an Rx to get it. He tried it, the side effects were awful, so - he shaved his head. Remember, it is a drug and can be dangerous. Read ALL the fine print!!

Any girl who would think less of you because of a change in your hair follicles is not the kind of girl you need to date.

While TV ads tell you this is the end of the world and that no one loves a person who is bald, they are just trying to sell you hair plugs!!

 

[Just_wondering]

I have to agree with the others who said that your girlfriend is probably NOT secretly embarrassed to be seen with a guy who’s going bald. If she were that superficial, I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested in her.

When I’m with the man I love, I couldn’t be prouder of being with him - even when he’s wearing something I can’t stand, or when I know other people are judging us by his appearance. Korea’s pretty conservative, and my boyfriend has long hair, tattoos, and piercings. We’re also a biracial couple. Sometimes he wears eyeliner or nail polish - it surprises me, but I’m not embarrassed to be seen with him. (If he were acting like a jerk, I would be, though.)

As for him, I’m not fat but I’m a lot bigger than Asian girls. I’m not the most fashionable lady out there, either - I sometimes feel frumpy compared to his female friends. But you know what? He loves me, and he’s never given the slightest indication that he’s embarrassed that I don’t look like the other girls out there. In fact, he has done nothing but reassure me that I look wonderful in his eyes.

In short, don’t create problems where there are none. If you are happy with her, and she is happy with you, you could look like Porky Pig and she’d still be proud to be seen with you. That’s my two cents, anyway.

 

[BamaRider]

Millions of guys in the same boat. Nature is gonna do what its gonna do, so the above advice is good. I’d only add that if you lose you hair (or most of it) just cut it short, instead of doing the comb over thing.

 

[juno24]

Don’t scare the poor kid that he is sick!!!

I certainly was not trying to make him think he’s sick. He’s 17 and losing his hair-- he needs a checkup to make sure it is not just a hereditary issue.

Of course, everyone should see their doc regularly and when there are changes in your body.

That’s all I was saying.

Any girl who would think less of you because of a change in your hair follicles is not the kind of girl you need to date.

Agreed. But based on what the OP has said, I doubt that the girlfriend actually has a problem with it. The OP just seems to be very insecure at this point in time.

While TV ads tell you this is the end of the world and that no one loves a person who is bald, they are just trying to sell you hair plugs!!

Amen! Please do not listen to those ads. Personally, I find a bald head (and I mean everything from closely shaved to completely, shiny “Mr. Clean” bald!) to be very attractive.

 

[Ruthie]

I agree. My DH is going bald on top. In ten years, it’ll mostly be gone. Do I care? NO! He was also “cut” and well-built when we met, and now he’s got a pot belly, and is somewhat out of shape. He’s *still *my dream man!

See, I choose to make that stuff unimportant. So it’s not. Sounds like your girl is doing the same thing. Smart girl!

Don’t worry - and don’t waste money on a toupee. William Shatner can afford the best - and I can still tell, can’t you? Same with Burt Reynolds.

At your age, image is more important than it will be later. You grow into marriage, and learn to love the “who” much more than the “what.”

And, yes, a shaved head is sexy. I promise!

God bless you,

Ruthie

 

[Salonika]

Em_in_FL:

Agreed … make sure you cover all your bases before writing it off purely as “nature” or “genetics”.

Agree with this and also keep in mind that bald head looks a lot better than “brush overs” with the intention of hiding the baldness.

kage_ar:

Any girl who would think less of you because of a change in your hair follicles is not the kind of girl you need to date.

Also agree with this.

I am someone who really appreciates a good head of hair on anyone (maybe because mine is fine). However, I was amazed one day to be told by a work colleague that she had been surprised by who she saw me with at a movie.

I asked her why and she said “but he has no hair” - an exaggeration actually, there’s some round the edges.

“What’s that got to do with it I said?”

“But you like guys with a lot of hair.”

I said “Yes, I appreciate a good head of hair but what’s that in comparision to someone being pleasant, considerate and a good friend.”

 

[CWBetts]

God only made so many perfect heads…the rest he covered with hair

 

[muffinmojo]

The toupee comment was not serious, and I am definitely not doing the ‘comb over’ thing.

Thanks for the encouragement It’s especially good to hear from wives with bald(ing) husbands…that makes me feel a lot better that women types can get used to it

Yeah, I’ve been to the doctor, he made sure I wasn’t sick/vitamin deficient.

 

[shajek74]

I was in my late 20’s when I met my dh. I didn’t know he was losing his hair until we had been seeing each other for several weeks because he always wore a cap. By then it was too late for me to care because I was already in love with him and knew he was the “One”. We keep it clipped with a #1 guard so it is very short but boy does he look HOT! I am sure your girlfriend is not going to be embarrased if you loose your hair; besides, super short or bald is really “in” right now!

 

[Scottgun]

If she denies that she is disappointed, you have to accept that and not mind-read.

If it is not something medical and hair loss continues, shave that sucker! My dad still has all his hair at 70+, but I can’t grow mine in good, long, heavy-metal fashion, so if I ever get a band together I’m shaving it like the lead gtr guy in Hammerfall.

 

[iluvmybabies]

I just sort of need to vent. I’m approaching 17, I have a steady girlfriend (Catholic too!) who is also my best, best friend in the world, but is very sensitive and because of her childhood and the way she was raised has trouble feeling comfortable around people. Finally we begin to be truly comfortable as friends and as a ‘couple’… and I start losing my hair. I’ve tried silly things like rogaine, but I don’t want to spend vast amounts of money so I gave up when that stopped working. I’m pretty much resigned to it, and in the next few weeks i will probably shave my head, as it will become unavoidable, no matter how i brush it. The worst part isn’t that I will feel strange with no hair, it’s that I feel like i will be embarrassing for her to be around, to be seen walking with, etc. She denies this, I know she cares about me, but I also know that she cannot help but be disappointed and embarrassed…

Well anyway, this feels pretty silly to be even talking about when so many people here have legitimate struggles with ‘real life’, marriages and children and such, but I just need some advice from someone, anyone, on how to cope! I’m trying to be positive, I feel like I’m coming to terms with it, but I can’t shake the feeling of being a disappointment to the person i care most about I also feel kind of cheated by nature, though that is probably vain and ridiculous, because my older brother is still quite well endowed in the follicle department, and even my dad who lost his hair early didn’t go bald until he was in his mid-20’s. Sigh…well, life goes on I suppose. Just writing this made me feel a little better Maybe ill buy a toupee

First of all my honey has a residing line, he;s as handsome as when I first met him with his head full of hair…To me that’s just a darn, cosmetic thing, doesn’t matter at all! I like him shaved anyhow, he usually shaves completely bald by spring through most until winter comes and I wouldn’t change him for the world!

My father also has a residing line and has been losing most of his hair but through it all my mother loves him no matter what going on almost 35 years of marriage!

My exhusband started losing his hair since he was 20 baldness in the back and super thinning hair, I still loved him like he was but it wasn’t the outside that separated us it was the inside and that man unfortunately had no cure…

So if she really loves you and cares for you, then continue being there for her…I am really ashamed of how I look since I gained weight, but my honey tells me I look even more beautiful even though I might still feel uncomfortable his show of affection and love still remains, so it helps me get through the day!!!

 

[Emily2009]

You sound like my boyfriend…

It’s okay… he’s also approaching 17 (well, not really, more like living out 16) and he’ll probably have no hair after awhile… I’ll give him like 10 or 15 years…maybe a little more, but…he’s got a receding hair line… It’ll be okay.

Your girlfriend may be sad (I love Grant’s curls) but,… it is how it is and if she loves you, she won’t really care…

Good luck.

 

[Nepenthe]

Yeah, another vote for checking with your doc - stuff like thyroidal dysfunction can just pop on up (and I should know, yikes), among a few others…quickie blood draw, no big deal.

And if that’s all good, go bald, babay - it is totally cool-looking on guys, and girls too, once you adjust to the look, and the hats are even more killer when you get a feel for them!

Maybe even a tastefully subtle skull-tat, if you feel it.

 

[JW10631]

Go with the shaved look. Stick with it for 30 days. You’ll never want to go back.