*sigh* Think we are going to look for another parish

  • Thread starter Thread starter whatevergirl
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Several years ago I left my neighborhood church (literally six houses away!) and traveled a half an hour every Sunday to take my family to Mass at a Dominican church that was not messing around with our faith. On the way to that church, we passed three other messed up Catholic churches.

I tried hard to stay and pray about the direction our church was going in, but couldn’t take it a second longer when two things happened.

First, a group of our “leaders” decided our Eucharist would be better if it was “made from our own human hands” and proceded to bake loaves of bread every week with who-knows-what-was-in-it to be consecrated. This bread got moldy within a couple of days each week, and once I saw the mold growing all the way through the wicker bowl it was stored in in the tabernacle. And not only that, we would find the Eucharist spat out in drinking fountains and tucked in the hymnals.

The second last-straw was when, during communion, the musicians sang a MICHAEL JACKSON song. I kid you not. It was “man in the mirror”. Those musicians really pushed it every week to begin with, but that was waaaaay over the top.

I decided that I could not afford to raise my kids in that church environment so, without looking back for even a milli-second, we moved on.

Fortunately, we were able to return to our neighborhood church about two years ago. A new priest has turned the church around and for the most part we are back to being Catholic again.

Soooo, my point is that I think sometimes you not only need to walk away from a church, but sometimes it helps to put on your sneakers and run as fast as you can from one. If enough people hit the road running, the diocese will surely notice and do something about it…

Just my opinion…

Anne Marie
 
Wow, I’ve never heard of a church that bad. I used to go to the Catholic student center at UT Austin and they did the same thing with distributing regular old baked bread instead of the typical Eucharistic unleavened bread. That liturgy was also way too praise-and-worship for my taste so I regularly attended a nearby orthodox Catholic Church (St. Austin) instead.
 
whatevergirl said:
Thank you everyone for your heartfelt replies. I will reply to each later when I have more time

Quick question though–My son asked if we could go to a Latin mass? I wonder if there are any in the Tampa Bay area?

Do any of you have children…mine are 12 and soon to be 16 y.o…will they understand such a mass? I think it would reverent,at least! :o
Click to expand...
The recent issue of “This Rock” has a great article on the Latin Mass 👍 It should be on line sometime… catholic.com/thisrock/2008/2008_ann.asp
 
whatevergirl said:
Hi everyone–hope you’re all doing well…as the weekend winds down.🙂

My family and I just got back from mass tonight…sigh I dunno. Sometimes, the mass is very reverent at our new parish (we have been attending for a while since we moved to FL), and other times, the music sounds like showtunes or something. :rolleyes: Rambling bar type piano playing…I mean, it seems like the Music Minister only cares to be heard, drowning out everyone, like he’s auditioning for a Broadway play (seriously!)…this just is not the mass that my family and I are accustomed to. :nope: Granted Sunday night is reserved for the teen mass, but it has never been this showtune-ish. But, even Saturday evening and Sunday morning masses are getting to be this way.

Talking, laughing, carrying on, etc in the church before mass…loudly. NO KNEELERS, but we still kneel. Music that gets more and more modern every mass it seems…transient priests…I can’t keep track of them at this parish anymore…it seems like the young priest who we all enjoyed and got to know is gone…like for months. He gave a controversial sermon about 3 months ago, and ever since then–we have not seen him.😦 Not sure if that’s the reason–I’m planning to drop the head pastor an email about him, just asking if he has left the parish. Maybe his time was up there, but something tells me otherwise.🤷

I just don’t know…should I look for yet ANOTHER parish? I feel like the only traditional parishes and masses can be found up north…or in Rome!:o Even my 16 year old son (he’ll be 16 in a few weeks) said tonight…“I’m young, and I even miss the traditional mass and songs that we had.” (in PA)

We recently discovered another area, about 5 miles up the road from us, if that–it’s near where my dd’s music school is…and I think I’m going to see if there are any traditional parishes up that way.

What would you do? Does not having a traditional mass bother you…would it bother you enough to explore other churches in your area? SO NOT USED TO THIS. We were parishioners up in our Pittsburgh parish for YEARS, without a thought to searching. The one thing I’ll say however, is confession at this parish is wonderful–and they have a lot of thriving ministries. That’s definitely a plus.

But…Why oh why do people have to mess with the mass, mess with the music…make it something it was never intended to be–entertainment. If you want entertainment, go to the movies.😦

Ok, my vent is over…look forward to hearing your thoughts on this, and if you have had similiar experiences. Maybe I’m getting old or something…lol:o , but I’m sorry, I just like a reverent mass/parish, with traditional songs, decor, sermons, etc…
Click to expand...
Parishes, like anything else, can experience poor leadership from time to time. My parish priest has disappeared, as well, and has been replaced by a retired bishop who loves to drone on and on, without any regard whatsoever for sticking to the Mass schedule or giving interesting sermons. He stacks books up on the pulpit, reads from them at length during his sermons, gives a summarized history of every facet of the Mass, further slowing down the proceedings, and has basically turned Mass into something I simply can’t sit through. I, too, must find a new Mass for awhile.
 
Hi Whatevergirl! I have been in your situation before. It wasn’t easy, but I finally made the decision to join another Parish. I love the Church I belong to now, I really needed the reverence, beautiful stained glass windows, statues & traditional music. In other words, a Catholic Church that looked like a Catholic Church!! I was sad to leave my former Priest & many friends I had made in the Parish Outreach group, but I really don’t regret the move. Have you gone to your Diocesean website? www.dioceseofstpete.org . I found a beautiful old Church in San Antonio, Fl. near Tampa called St. Anthony of Padua. They also have a Tridentine Mass at 9:00 Sunday. If you live nearby, you could make a visit. God Bless.
 
Lucania said:
Hi Whatevergirl! I have been in your situation before. It wasn’t easy, but I finally made the decision to join another Parish. I love the Church I belong to now, I really needed the reverence, beautiful stained glass windows, statues & traditional music. In other words, a Catholic Church that looked like a Catholic Church!! I was sad to leave my former Priest & many friends I had made in the Parish Outreach group, but I really don’t regret the move. Have you gone to your Diocesean website? www.dioceseofstpete.org . I found a beautiful old Church in San Antonio, Fl. near Tampa called St. Anthony of Padua. They also have a Tridentine Mass at 9:00 Sunday. If you live nearby, you could make a visit. God Bless.
Click to expand...
that’s a great story…I am glad you found a parish that closer resembles a Catholic Church.
I will check out that website, thank you! I did a google search, I hadn’t thought of looking at the diocese website…:rolleyes:
 
Lucania…I found a parish on the website–thank you! I was looking for one in Trinity, near where we live…and when I googled, this one did not show. I am excited…I asked the man who answered the phone…"um, are there drums at your masses?’ He paused, and said…‘nope, there’s no drums…’ It sounds to be traditional. Frankly, this is closer to home–not sure how we have been passing this all this time…this is close to my dd’s music school?

THANKS LUCANIA! 🙂 :hug1: I’ll post back after mass tomorrow.👍
 
whatevergirl said:
Yeah, it can’t hurt to look around…right? I think attending a parish without kneelers…sigh, it has always troubled me. I have no idea why a parish would spend oodles upon oodles of money on marble pillars, and flooring, but not on kneelers. Maybe I’m looking at the wrong things, but I miss kneeling as a community during the Consecration of the host…after Communion. Standing seems …irreverent. The head pastor here explained to me that standing is acceptable…but, again, it is just not something I’m accustomed to. But, given all of this, I thought I could let that part go…but, seriously–bongos, drums, the music minister banging on the piano as though he were Billy Joel playing ‘The Piano Man,’ is just a bit much. Clapping after the music…again, if one wants to be entertained, go take in a show. Mass is not ‘a show.’ Lately, like over the past month or so, it seems to be turning into just that at this parish.
Click to expand...
I’m a little late to this post but it caught my eye. I would look around for a new parish and I would let them know why I was leaving. It’s not selfish.
 
You guys are gonna laugh…or roll your eyes, one of the two…maybe both. lol

So, I’m telling my kids about this new parish that we are going to attend tomorrow. And they said…‘What? We are going to miss St Tim’s mom…maybe we should give it another chance.’ And in a weird way, I became sad about thinking of ‘abandoning’ a parish I have been attending for a year. It made me think, are my reasons ‘good enough?’ I will keep praying about this.

Ugh, isn’t that weird, that now we are having cold feet just to attend mass at another parish for one weekend? I guess it’s not so easy to leave a parish…:o
 
whatevergirl said:
You guys are gonna laugh…or roll your eyes, one of the two…maybe both. lol

So, I’m telling my kids about this new parish that we are going to attend tomorrow. And they said…‘What? We are going to miss St Tim’s mom…maybe we should give it another chance.’ And in a weird way, I became sad about thinking of ‘abandoning’ a parish I have been attending for a year. It made me think, are my reasons ‘good enough?’ I will keep praying about this.

Ugh, isn’t that weird, that now we are having cold feet just to attend mass at another parish for one weekend? I guess it’s not so easy to leave a parish…:o
Click to expand...
Change is hardest on the young, for they often do not have the background to understand the “why” behind the change.
 
I think you should still try another place. They won’t know what they like until they see it. And you are the parent, tasked with their spiritual development.

On that note, perhaps you can talk with the music director, or at least the pastor about the music.

Best of luck!
 
Sheeniac said:
I think you should still try another place. They won’t know what they like until they see it. And you are the parent, tasked with their spiritual development.

On that note, perhaps you can talk with the music director, or at least the pastor about the music.

Best of luck!
Click to expand...
I had thought about this…he has a direct email…maybe asking for some traditional songs, at least every other mass would be good…thanks for the idea!
 
Could your “cold feet” actually be prompting from the Holy Spirit?
Could He want you to stay at your current parish for a reason we don’t know yet?

If I was in your shoes, I would beg God to direct me by either increasing my desire to leave, or to diminish it. If you find your inclination to leave decline, trust it is His will and follow His lead to stay where you are. Sometimes we scratch our heads at His answers, but eventually His plan unfolds and we say, “ahhhhh, now I get it!”.

Leaving a parish is never easy and when I left my neighborhood parish for a few years, it was super crystal clear that it was time to go. I wasn’t on the fence about my decision. I would say pray, pray, pray before you leave if you are having cold feet. God just might want you to “bloom where you are planted” for now.
 
I had the same problem you have; I live within two miles of a Catholic church, but people talk to each other before and after Mass (in the church) as if they are at a movie theater, they dress like they are going to a picnic, and the altar girls wear capri pants. I really don’t feel like I’ve attended Mass when I go there. So, I found (after trying at least 10 different churches) that going to Mass at the Cathedral (in Denver) is much more traditional. It takes me 30-40 minutes to get there, but it is well worth the time (and gas 🙂 ).

Keep searching and you will find a church that lifts you up and does not distract you with secular practices.

Blessings,
Sue
 
hi sue…yes, it can be disheartening. I think that in part, the non traditional music ‘movement’ that has pervaded American parishes as a whole now (for some unknown reason) is to blame for the lax way people treat mass. I remember a time when people knelt down to pray BEFORE mass began, and now, like you observe as well…everyone is chattering away, loudly, without reverence as to where they are. This isn’t a mall. People running in and out while mass is going on, there just seems to be a lack of respect for what’s going on. I don’t think the priests like it, because I see their faces sometimes, and they look displeased…but, why don’t they say something? Not sure what they could say, but something to bring the congregation back to more reverence? I dunno. I am not a grump…lol I don’t mind general whispering, but sometimes, I don’t feel like I’m sitting at church, waiting for mass. I think it has a lot to do with the music selection…if you feel like you’re getting ready to hear a Christian rock concert, and not mass…many will act accordingly. 🤷 That’s what I think is happening.

((It’s equally concerning, (not to get off on a different topic) that many of our Catholic brothers and sisters would vote for a pro choice candidate…so, something is missing in our parishes…where people are just not taking the faith seriously, or something. I dunno. 😦 ))

I will pray that God directs me. We are going to the same church tonight, but will be attending next week’s mass at a new church, that I mention above. We shall see!:o
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top