Sign of Peace is Out, Meet & Greet is In

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yellowbird

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At a neighboring parish we sometimes attend, the sign of peace is no longer exchanged. That whole part is skipped and instead, they do this, “Meet and greet the people around you…” sometime in the begining of the mass. What do you make of that?

The funny part is that I thought the Priest may have just forgotten (he was young & new) so I exchanged the sign of peace anyhow, with the people near me. Force of habit I guess? Later I was told they always skip it.

What are your thoughts on this?
 
Seems rather odd, and I would dare say illicit. We used to do that when I was Baptist, the meet and greet with those around you. I didn’t think the Sign of Peace was something that was optional, but I could be wrong.

Where’s Benedictgal??😃
 
If there is a “meet and greet” during the Mass, that is illicit. There is no such thing. My parish does a “turn and greet your neighbor” before the opening hymn is sung. (We also have the Sign of Peace.)

The Sign of Peace itself (among the faithful) is optional; it is up to the priest or deacon to decide whether to include it in the Mass. But the Sign of Peace is not a “meet and greet”.
The priest then offers us the peace of the Lord, and we reply “And with your spirit.” Then he or the deacon may invite us to offer one another that peace. While the Roman Missal does not define the words to say to one another, these words (which are those of the priest, too) are suggested:
Pax Dómini sit semper vobíscum.
The peace of the Lord be with you always. Gal. 1:3; Phil. 4:7; 2 John 1:3
to which we should respond “Amen.” Common variants of this greeting are “Peace be with you” and “Peace of Christ be with you.”

St. Paul wrote eloquently to the Philippians about how God and peace are inseparable:
Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, do; and the God of peace will be with you. (Phil. 4:6-9)
The peace of God comes to us when we let go of worry and anxiety, and prayerfully place our trust in God. God, Who is the source of peace, comes to us when we focus our minds on the virtuous example of Jesus and the saints and imitate them.

It is important to be reconciled not only to God but to one another before we receive Communion. St. Augustine explained why:
Christ the Lord … consecrated the sacrament of our peace and unity upon his table. Who accepts the sacrament of unity, and keeps not the bond of peace, does not receive the sacrament for his good, but as a testimony against himself!
While different Rites of the Church place the Sign of Peace in different places, it is important to recognize the necessity of being at peace when offering sacrifice to the Lord:
“So if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” (Matt. 5:23-24)
The Sign of Peace is not intended to be a “break” in the Liturgy of the Eucharist, a liturgical pause between the Our Father and the Lamb of God. Nor is it supposed to be a social interlude for catching up with old friends. This part of the Mass is a manifestation of the communion we share with Christ and with all those who belong to him. It is a liturgical action meant to express “peace, communion, and charity” (GIRM 154) to one another. While a hug or kiss may be appropriate between close relations, this is not a time to make people uncomfortable by “invading their personal space.” It is appropriate to “offer the sign of peace only to those who are nearest and in a sober manner.” (GIRM 82)​
 
yellowbird said:
At a neighboring parish we sometimes attend, the sign of peace is no longer exchanged. That whole part is skipped and instead, they do this, “Meet and greet the people around you…” sometime in the begining of the mass. What do you make of that?

The funny part is that I thought the Priest may have just forgotten (he was young & new) so I exchanged the sign of peace anyhow, with the people near me. Force of habit I guess? Later I was told they always skip it.

What are your thoughts on this?
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The sign of peace is optional. Certainly the parishes I’ve attended have included it, but it’s not mandatory.

When you say they do the meet-and-greet “in the beginning of the Mass” do you mean DURING the Mass or before it starts? I see it often – and we do it in my parish – but it comes before the Mass starts, right after “please turn off your cell phones.” Once the Mass starts there’s no place for greeting people.
 
I guess you could say we have something of a meet and greet after Mass…And I always wondered if it is in any way disrespectful. 😊

I mean, surely we should save our Sunday socializing for the parking lot?
 
SuscipeMeDomine said:
The sign of peace is optional. Certainly the parishes I’ve attended have included it, but it’s not mandatory.

When you say they do the meet-and-greet “in the beginning of the Mass” do you mean DURING the Mass or before it starts? I see it often – and we do it in my parish – but it comes before the Mass starts, right after “please turn off your cell phones.” Once the Mass starts there’s no place for greeting people.
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Hmm… I want to say it was just prior to the readings. I might be mistaken, and I hope I am… but I don’t think so because I remember being totally caught off guard. If it were first thing I wouldn’t have been so suprised because I too have been to parishes where they do a meet & greet right after announcements or whatever.

And the reason I thought maybe the Priest just forgot is because he never said his lines… The Peace of Christ be with you always… he just started getting ready for the consecration… or so it looked to me? It was confusing…
 
yellowbird said:
At a neighboring parish we sometimes attend, the sign of peace is no longer exchanged. That whole part is skipped and instead, they do this, “Meet and greet the people around you…” sometime in the begining of the mass. What do you make of that?

The funny part is that I thought the Priest may have just forgotten (he was young & new) so I exchanged the sign of peace anyhow, with the people near me. Force of habit I guess? Later I was told they always skip it.

What are your thoughts on this?
Click to expand...
The sign of peace and a “meet and greet” are two totally different things. The sign of peace is not a time to exchange greetings and pleasantries–it is a purely symbolic act (see japhy’s post above), so one should never be seen as a replacement of the other.

It’s entirely appropriate for people to say hello and exchange greetings outside of Mass. This is a very good thing and strengthens the community aspect of the parish. But it has no place in the Mass, and indeed no place in the church (building) itself because that is a place of prayer. The parish hall, parking lot, vestibule, etc. are all appropriate places for greetings, but the church itself is not that place.

It is the option of the priest presiding at that Mass to decide to add the sign of peace if he feels it’s opportune. The rite of peace is always done, but the actual sign of peace is the optional addition. Neither the sign, nor the entire rite can be moved in the Mass. It has to be done exactly where we find it in the books. Some speculate that Pope Benedict may move it in the future. This is a very real possibility, given what he said in Spirit of the Liturgy–but that’s a matter of what might happen in the future and has no bearing on what should be done today.

As an aside, if the deacon (or priest) does not add “let us offer each other…” then the congregation should not do it.
 
yellowbird said:
At a neighboring parish we sometimes attend, the sign of peace is no longer exchanged. That whole part is skipped and instead, they do this, “Meet and greet the people around you…” sometime in the begining of the mass. What do you make of that?

The funny part is that I thought the Priest may have just forgotten (he was young & new) so I exchanged the sign of peace anyhow, with the people near me. Force of habit I guess? Later I was told they always skip it.

What are your thoughts on this?
Click to expand...
I totally agree with Fr. David, and I too have witnessed what yellowbird is talking about, and worse.
I am very tired of **some **of the Priests who try to change the Mass on their own, I have seen this at two different Parishes.

At both of the Parishes a Priest walked in with a mic and announced to everyone in a very loud voice that we should all get up and greet one another, then he proceded down the asile shaking hands as he went.:mad: My mind reflected back to being at a football game in High School when the players break through a large paper and then procede unto the field. Not the frame of mind I want to be in for the Mass.
(at one of the Parishes, the Priest shook hands with those around him and then went down the asile in the usual manner.) I just started silently praying for them. I really am going to start speaking with their Pastors and then the Bishop will get a follow up letter if nothing changes. I have never done that before but it is really getting ridiclous in some Parishes and then other things start to creep in.

They both also did the usual sign of peace too, which I have never liked that in the part of the Mass that it is either. It would be great if they just did it and we didn’t have to greet one another, I think.
 
I think some feel the need for “meet and greet” sessions to come across as more friendly. I guess the word I’m looking for is fellowship. Coming from a Protestant (Southern Baptist) church, this is one thing we did well - fellowship. It helps bring you together with your church family. My first visits to a Catholic church left me sort of cold - when it came to fellow parishoners. Perhaps that’s where they are getting some of these ideas?

I’m not saying it’s right, just offering my opinion on possibly the “why’s”. Obviously it didn’t bother me that much, I still converted.😉
 
yellowbird said:
At a neighboring parish we sometimes attend, the sign of peace is no longer exchanged. That whole part is skipped and instead, they do this, “Meet and greet the people around you…” sometime in the begining of the mass. What do you make of that?

The funny part is that I thought the Priest may have just forgotten (he was young & new) so I exchanged the sign of peace anyhow, with the people near me. Force of habit I guess? Later I was told they always skip it.

What are your thoughts on this?
Click to expand...
I really don’t care when certain canters take it upon themselves to say “turn to someone you have not yet greeted today and make them feel welcome.” Then again it is before the Mass begins. I suppose it’s even sadder that a visitor can enter a Catholic parish with absolutely no one to greet them.
 
msugeotech said:
I think some feel the need for “meet and greet” sessions to come across as more friendly. I guess the word I’m looking for is fellowship. Coming from a Protestant (Southern Baptist) church, this is one thing we did well - fellowship. It helps bring you together with your church family. My first visits to a Catholic church left me sort of cold - when it came to fellow parishoners. Perhaps that’s where they are getting some of these ideas?

I’m not saying it’s right, just offering my opinion on possibly the “why’s”. Obviously it didn’t bother me that much, I still converted.😉
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Fellowship is quite poor in many (most?) Catholic parishes. In and out in 60 minutes or less! I think that’s largely because our parishes are often so huge – due to a lack of priests and a lack of investment in church buildings over a long period of time. Per capita we simply don’t give as much as the Protestants do.
 
I still chuckle when I pull into the parking lot and see half of the vehicles “backed in” to the parking spaces. I guess I didn’t learn how to properly park in RCIA.😃
Charioteer said:
Fellowship is quite poor in many (most?) Catholic parishes. In and out in 60 minutes or less! I think that’s largely because our parishes are often so huge – due to a lack of priests and a lack of investment in church buildings over a long period of time. Per capita we simply don’t give as much as the Protestants do.
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msugeotech said:
I think some feel the need for “meet and greet” sessions to come across as more friendly. I guess the word I’m looking for is fellowship. Coming from a Protestant (Southern Baptist) church, this is one thing we did well - fellowship. It helps bring you together with your church family. My first visits to a Catholic church left me sort of cold - when it came to fellow parishoners. Perhaps that’s where they are getting some of these ideas?

I’m not saying it’s right, just offering my opinion on possibly the “why’s”. Obviously it didn’t bother me that much, I still converted.😉
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And that’s why a “coffee hour” or other form of fellowship after Mass in the hall is not only perfectly appropriate, but even necessary (if it’s possible). There’s a time and place for everything, and we have to keep things in their proper perspective.
 
FrDavid96 said:
The sign of peace and a “meet and greet” are two totally different things. The sign of peace is not a time to exchange greetings and pleasantries–it is a purely symbolic act (see japhy’s post above), so one should never be seen as a replacement of the other.

It’s entirely appropriate for people to say hello and exchange greetings outside of Mass. This is a very good thing and strengthens the community aspect of the parish. But it has no place in the Mass, and indeed no place in the church (building) itself because that is a place of prayer. The parish hall, parking lot, vestibule, etc. are all appropriate places for greetings, but the church itself is not that place.

It is the option of the priest presiding at that Mass to decide to add the sign of peace if he feels it’s opportune. The rite of peace is always done, but the actual sign of peace is the optional addition. Neither the sign, nor the entire rite can be moved in the Mass. It has to be done exactly where we find it in the books. Some speculate that Pope Benedict may move it in the future. This is a very real possibility, given what he said in Spirit of the Liturgy–but that’s a matter of what might happen in the future and has no bearing on what should be done today.

As an aside, if the deacon (or priest) does not add “let us offer each other…” then the congregation should not do it.
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Just curious where you’d draw the line. If you know someone sitting in front of you or behind you, would “Hi Bob, Peace be with you” or “Peace be with you, Bob” be appropriate?
 
Newbie2 said:
Just curious where you’d draw the line. If you know someone sitting in front of you or behind you, would “Hi Bob, Peace be with you” or “Peace be with you, Bob” be appropriate?
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Since you did ask (and only because you did), I’ll answer: No, it would not be appropriate. What some people just don’t understand is that the sign of peace is not a time for personal greetings. It is a symbolic act and a ritual act “by which the Church asks for peace and unity for herself and for the whole human family, and the faithful express to each other their ecclesial communion and mutual charity before communicating in the Sacrament.” Unfortunately, too many people are under the impression that this is a time to exchange personal pleasantries with one another.

Now I know what will follow this post. People out there are going to twist and manipulate what I say and accuse me of saying that I think people should be strangers, and that there should be no sense of community in a parish, and that by greeting friends, they’re showing communion and charity (yatta yatta yatta, I’ve heard it all before and it’s nonsense). Yet all this is based on a false assumption and a complete misunderstanding (or in some cases, a refusal to accept) of the fact that the sign of peace is a ritual act. It is not a personal one, it is not a time to personally greet people. There is a time and place for this, but that is not what the sign of peace is about. The time to say “hi Bob” is when you see your friend in the parking lot, or as you’re walking into church, or at the parish fellowship after Mass, or whenever this is appropriate. There is indeed a time for this, but the sign of peace is simply not that time.
 
Newbie2 said:
It’s not a personal act? :confused:
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No, it isn’t. It’s a corporate gesture of the entire community. It is a ritual act. The sign of peace is not a personal greeting. Again, that’s where the misunderstanding come in. When we see this as a personal act, we start to think of ways to make it more personal (calling people by name, asking about ill relatives, talking about last night’s football game, etc. etc.) the time/place for these is elsewhere. The sign of peace is ritual and should not be “individualized.”
 
FrDavid96 said:
No, it isn’t. It’s a corporate gesture of the entire community. It is a ritual act. The sign of peace is not a personal greeting. Again, that’s where the misunderstanding come in. When we see this as a personal act, we start to think of ways to make it more personal (calling people by name, asking about ill relatives, talking about last night’s football game, etc. etc.) the time/place for these is elsewhere. The sign of peace is ritual and should not be “individualized.”
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When you say “Peace be with you” mean the whole community or that person whom you’re addressing?

Your opinion as to the “individualization” or does the GIRM or other document forbid it?

From the GIRM:

The Rite of Peace follows, by which the Church asks for peace and unity for herself
the whole human family, and the faithful express to each other their ecclesial communion mutual charity before communicating in the Sacrament.
As for the sign of peace to be given, the manner is to be established by Conferences of Bishops in accordance with the culture and customs of the peoples. It is, however, appropriate that each person offer the sign of peace only to those who are nearest and in a sober manner.

Looks to me like it IS a personal greeting, as well as a communal greeting, and that nothing forbids one using another’s name as well as it’s done in “sober” manner.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not for the “Hey, how’s the 'fam” sort of thing, but I think the way you’re suggesting is somewhat sterile and unfriendly (not to address someone by their name…(even a family member?) if you know them well enough.

If you have other information that I haven’t seen, I’d like to see where such is specified…not to argue, and I respect your opinion, but I’d like to also know if it’s your opinion or an official position besides from your office as a cleric. 🙂

BTW, are you OK with hugs or kisses?
 
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