Sign of Peace with a limp handshake

[zaida]

I agree with monicad above - some people are shy and uncomfortable; some people cant shake strongly for arthritis reasons; some are “quick” handshakers because they want to do the “peace” with as many folks as possible!

Funny thing - maybe its because I’m a girl - I have never noticed “limp” handshakes at all…its just not something I register…could it be a “guy” thing, thinking a lot about the firmness of handshakes? Maybe for some people, the time of sharing the peace is not a time to focus on hard handshakes, lol!

Just for the record - I "REALLY wish I didnt read about the disgusting things above (mucus, etc)…now its on my mind, lol!

 

[Godric2]

The question about handshake and the rubric is an interesting one.

I mean I guess a handshake is not universal in the church for the sign of peace - is it. I don’t know.

I know Korean people who give a small stiff bow as a sign of greeting, for example.

Are some other cultures using a different sign of peace?

Godric

Cross dressing saints?

 

[JM3]

Where is a handshake in the Rubrics? I can’t seem to find it.

It’s not there. It’s a cultural thing.

The Rite of Peace

1. There follows the Rite of Peace, by which the Church entreats peace and unity for herself and for the whole human family, and the faithful express to each other their ecclesial communion and mutual charity before communicating in the Sacrament.

As for the actual sign of peace to be given, the manner is to be established by the Conferences of Bishops in accordance with the culture and customs of the peoples. However, it is appropriate that each person, in a sober manner, offer the sign of peace only to those who are nearest.

 

[clem456]

I usually do a “tough guy” squeeze. I want the person on the other end of the “hand-shake” to know I mean business and I am not to be messed with. As a result, I have left some bruises, broken fingers, etc in my wake. The best is when you do it to a guy in front of his kids. He is forced to squirm due to the pain.

I actually started training 15 years ago with one of those “Grip-Master” spring resistance trainers. My grip strength has increased tremendously and I can make a grown man come to tears during a 5 second “Sign of Peace”.

Yea I think this iss part of the “new evangelization” isn’t it?
Crushing the fingers of your fellows at Mass…

 

[jesuspsr]

I’m not very fond of shaking hands. I got phobias that scare me to shake hands, I noticed that I’m not the only one at my church not to.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

Some of us won’t shake hands at all.

And you’d be quite correct. There is no LAW that states that the sign of peace must, absolutely MUST, be a handshake (preferably firm, but not ‘too’ firm). And yes, those of us with arthritis might find a ‘firm’ handshake extremely painful. We even find a LIMP one can be painful as well.

I do not know why it is that an optional gesture in the Mass has suddenly taken on an importance that seems to be on par with the consecration itself, to SOME (by no means all) people.

I thought we were a diverse society and that we were supposed to consider others as much as ourselves.

Meaning, if WE come in and our EXPECTATION is that we ‘shake firmly’ and others ‘should do the same’. . .again, where is that MANDATED LAW of the Church that ‘our expection’ is the 'one true way ? (It isn’t) and why can we not accept that some people might prefer (by their own customs or needs) to bow the head, to refrain from shaking due to whatever reason, to smile, whatever?

Now mind you, if a child reaches for my hand to shake, I will shake. If most adults reach to shake, I will shake. I’ll also try to be both firm and gentle, but some days I just might not be that ‘strong’. Mea culpa if that give the ‘perception’ that I’m a ‘cold fish’, but I cannot FORCE my muscles to a strength they do not have.

But if a person doesn’t reach out for my hand, or turns away, I don’t think, “OH HOW RUDE”. . .IOW, I DO NOT “ASSUME” that an action is made deliberately to OFFEND ME. Because 99% of the time, it is NOT, and for the 1% that is, hey, aren’t we supposed to FORGIVE others?

 

[Pug]

It is cultural. Some groups of people use a soft handshake by preference. I’ve seen it if I recall in certain Asian parishioners. Also, I always shake hands with the elderly with a very soft handshake lest I hurt their fingers or wrist.

Greeting rituals are often different based upon culture. Like kisses, etc. It strikes me as an adaption we must make to the person we wish to greet.

 

[gh4]

To me, a soft handshake is far different than the limp one. The limp person makes little to no effort to even move their fingers, their hands kind of hang from their wrists with their palm turned towards their left and they just let you shake or squeeze their hand. It makes me want to pull my hand back and run the other way. It’s not nice.

And then there’s the folks who shake hands with a scowl on their faces, like you smell bad or something, I wish they’d just ignore me. (cause I KNOW I smell just fine, thank you very much!)

And then there’s always that one who starts to shake your hand and then it just ends like their hand ran out of energy…

 

[Elizium23]

The USCCB has expressed a preference for a handshake in this document:
USCCB:

The Rite of Peace follows. The celebrant prays that the peace of Christ will fill our hearts, our families, our Church, our communities, and our world. As a sign of hope, the people extend to those around them a sign of peace, typically by shaking hands.

 

[johnnyjones]

We are in church as one body and fellowsip is essential. A good hand shake should force some people out of there “shy” and “uncomfortable” ways. I mean c’mon, wake up and fight through your fear and shake your brother or sisters hand. Medical conditions permitting of course.

 

[detoutcoeur]

It’s flu season here in the US and some Churches just skip the sign of peace.

I don’t trust handshakes at any time anymore. Seen one to many people leave the restroom without washing.

Otherwise, the youth culture in Britain (I did live there once) is troubling.

It’s being omitted here because of the flu season, and the Mass is more solemn and unified–people seem to like it.

 

[TevereNauta]

The question about handshake and the rubric is an interesting one.

I mean I guess a handshake is not universal in the church for the sign of peace - is it. I don’t know.

I know Korean people who give a small stiff bow as a sign of greeting, for example.

Are some other cultures using a different sign of peace?

Godric

Cross dressing saints?

Had to respond to this, as though I love the sign of peace and what it represents many people do find handshaking uncomfortable.

I’m in Korea on business right now, and a polite bow is indeed the norm at the sign of peace during Mass here. Must say, it makes the whole thing much more efficient, and also negates any possibility of ‘messy hands’ meeting! Not to mention, you get a ‘longer range’!

Wouldn’t mind bowing becoming a replacement for handshaking altogether, really

Edit: Off-topic, but I also love the deep gong they use at the Consecration, has a much deeper reverb than western bells. You hear it, and many times feel it, believe you me!

 

[odile53]

Our bishop announced via all of the local news TV stations to please omit handshakes at the Sign of Peace until the flu season is over with this year.

 

[Brofessor]

I’ve never enjoyed the sign of peace. I don’t see why we can’t just say “peace be with you” and maybe exchange a handshake or hug if we already know each other.

The worst though is when I’m asked to introduce myself to my neighbors before mass. It’s so awkward and forced. I’m all for being nice and friendly, but it’s too much to actually make people do it. If people want to talk, why can’t they do so at fellowship after mass?

 

[liturgyluver]

Normally when people have a cold in my neck of the woods, they themselves refrain from sharing the peace and simply hold their hands up to those around them without actually making contact.

The peace is quite warmly exchanged in my area, but it’s true to say that it is generally embraced more eagerly in other denominations. I do think one of the reasons for this, is its position in the Catholic liturgy after the Our Father where it interrupts the focus on the sacrament between Eucharistic Prayer and giving of Communion. Anglicans (and I think Lutherans) share the peace just prior to the offertory which then allows an uninterrupted flow from the Eucharistic Prayer to the giving of communion.

 

[Aran_Houlihan]

I am all about a good, firm grip of a handshake. Show 'em you mean it. PEACE!

I have notest who both arms in a slight embrace with the words "Pax tecum’ (Peace be with you).

In nomine Patris, + et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.
Introibo ad altare Dei. R: Ad deum qui laetificat juventutem meam.

 

[snowflakeinlove]

Maybe they’re just shy? Or just don’t have very firm handshakes?

In my parish I usually just smile and wave and say peace be with you… which is what most people do–… not because I don’t want to shake hands, but because I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. If someone extends their hand I’ll gladly shake it.

As a side note one of my childhood friends had a very strong hand grip and she liked to have hand crushing contests… or randomly crush people’s hands (in a friendly way, so often times it was my hand . ) I have to admit I was always scared to shake her hand during the sign of peace

We are in church as one body and fellowsip is essential. A good hand shake should force some people out of there “shy” and “uncomfortable” ways. I mean c’mon, wake up and fight through your fear and shake your brother or sisters hand. Medical conditions permitting of course.

Well, you never know if someone does have that medical condition- could be a phobia, anxiety disorder… something that might not be as apparent.

 

[zab]

Maybe they have had their arthritic hand squeezed so hard too many times. Some people just have no clue of the pain they cause. I no longer give a firm or even a semi-firm handshake because it seems to be an invitation to squeeze my hand even harder. You’d think that a semi-firm handshake would sort of help to prevent your hand from being crushed- not so.

 

[clem456]

I’ve never enjoyed the sign of peace. I don’t see why we can’t just say “peace be with you” and maybe exchange a handshake or hug if we already know each other.

The worst though is when I’m asked to introduce myself to my neighbors before mass. It’s so awkward and forced. I’m all for being nice and friendly, but it’s too much to actually make people do it. If people want to talk, why can’t they do so at fellowship after mass?

I don’t “like” it either, or the joined hands Our Father. But, it is good for me to participate in this, it is a challenge for me to extend myself to others. When it is done, I am always glad I did it.

 

[TimothyH]

The reason why the OP is getting limp handshakes is because he lives in the UK.

American men don’t act that way. We say…



…and give you a great big ressurected Jesus hug.

-Tim-