Sign of the Cross: Thumb, index finger, and middle finger?

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Once upon a time we had active emojis; the rofl was excellent. I miss it (but consider, in your mind’s eye, you have received 5 of them!).
 
I read in a pre-vatican II era novel that it once wasn’t reverent to use ones left hand to make the Sign of the Cross and also heard (or read) somewhere that, at least in the Latin rite, the shoulders should be touched Left to Right only. I see both of these happening at every Mass so perhaps they’re both ‘fake news’ nowadays. 🙂
 
I read in a pre-vatican II era novel that it once wasn’t reverent to use ones left hand to make the Sign of the Cross and also heard (or read) somewhere that, at least in the Latin rite, the shoulders should be touched Left to Right only. I see both of these happening at every Mass so perhaps they’re both ‘fake news’ nowadays. 🙂
My grandmother is left handed, and was born approx 1931. The nuns would smack her hand with a ruler every time she wrote with her left hand… Those particular sisters erroneously believed that left handness was the mark of the devil! 😱

A guy currently in his 60s or 70s told me a similar story about himself. Except when his mom found out, she went to school and punched the sister in the face, knocking her out! 😲
 
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She does not think it is the correct way to do it (she said she looked it up on line through some “liturgical site” and it read that this format has been out of favor for centuries) and she does not want me influencing how her children do the Sign of the Cross. I was a bit defensive because, as I explained, I see a lot of people at Mass schlepping through the Sign of the Cross (throwing it up there like swatting bugs) and how I do it makes me think more of the Cross. I figure I cannot win, but,yes, I think there is an issue of “She is right and I am wrong.”
You’re not wrong. It’s a very beautiful way how you make the sign of the cross. The way you do it is a lot more common Eastern Rite and Orthodox Christians but it’s perfectly acceptable way for any Christian — including Roman Catholics — to cross themselves.

By the way, how does your friend make the sign of the cross?
 
Sometimes I cross myself without touching any part of me, I do the cross in air
 
One would need to reference the actual document you note to determine if it was someone’s personal opinion or otherwise. Possibly it was in the GIRM or equivalent prior to Vatican 2, but that seems to be a bit of a stretch. On the other hand, perhaps so. As I was taught how to make the sign of the cross well before Vatican 2, my recollection is “that is the way we do it”, which really boots down to tradition with a small “t”.
 
Okay, so as a relatively new Catholic, what is the correct way? I was never taught which fingers should be used together.
Neither is correct nor incorrect - some are more common in some cultures (eg Hispanic) is all.
 
Hold up? There are certain fingers involved and then you kiss it ? Argh! I just in my former Protestant way went (generally touching ) head tummy left shoulder and right shoulder . I have probs been doing this wrong the whole time then? Is there a wrong way to do the sign of the cross ? Having my bi monthly am I really a Catholic panic attack due to something I read here
 
She feels I am sending a contradictory message to her two children how to do the Sign of the Cross, i.e. that my way is the wrong way.
That’s ridiculous. I would say “thank you for your concern,” and continue to do it your way.
 
That’s how I taught my three year old 🤣 “forehead, tummy, shoulder, shoulder” Of course it was heard to break her from that once I taught her the correct words.

Another tip when teaching a small child. Try showing them with the shoulder order backwards. They see you doing it but don’t realize it is the opposite for them because they are facing you.
 
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I do it the same way except that I don’t do the kiss. That seems to be very prevalent with Hispanic Catholics.
 
Maybe this one? (Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.)
 
pre-vatican II era novel that it once wasn’t reverent to use ones left hand to make the Sign of the Cross
I was taught by nuns to use the right hand. I honestly don’t know why that was. But my thoughts/opinion on this is I wonder if the thinking was because Jesus sits on the right hand of the Father, therefore satan on the left? I also remember being corrected once, by this same order of nuns, when I used a capital s for satan instead of a small letter - doing so because I’d been taught to use capitals for names, so in a childs’ mind that was the right thing to do - but obviously not going by the correction I got! And also being taught that your guardian angel is over one shoulder and the devil/tempter is behind the other - conscience in deciding right or wrong.

I myself, use two or three fingers on my right hand when making the sign of the cross, and do as others have said - forehead, just below the sternum, left shoulder, right shoulder.

Until this thread, I hadn’t heard of any other ways of doing this.

To the OP, whilst you are not wrong and neither is she because as I understand it she is doing it the more common way, but as the parent of the children and responsible for their raising in the Faith, perhaps you could respect her wishes (assuming her stance is because she doesn’t want her children confused as to which is right or wrong) when around her children ?

Another option I see is to have a discussion and explain the various legitimate ways of doing this as others have said, and ask if she would consider using this as a teaching example for her children to broaden their knowledge and acceptance of others actions of devotions/piety.
 
I do it the same way as the OP mentioned, but I only kiss at the end. I was taught that the three fingers pressed together represent the unity of the Trinity, and the two separate fingers represent the two natures of Christ. He kiss at the end is an Hispanic/Southern Italian thing. Since I’m both, it has always seemed natural.

As an aside, I can’t believe that someone was bothered at all by this, let alone bothered enough to actually say something.
 
As a Roman Catholic, for many years I have made the Sign of the Cross with my thumb, index finger, and middle finger pressed together. Both before and after I make the Sign of the Cross I would kiss my thumb, index finger, and middle finger.

My friend, also Catholic, does not like me to do it in front of her two small children and was critical of my preferred Sign of the Cross. She went online and found a site that stated the format I use has long gone out of style.

I have gone online myself and read references that it is the Byzantine Rite Sign of the Cross and also that it is still acceptable in the Latin Rite.

Am I wrong doing what I am doing? Honestly, I am quite exasperated that she not only criticized me, but is doing what she can to prove me wrong.

Thoughts? Comments?
It makes absolutely no difference how you do it. The Church does not dictate this to us.
 
I think the only real “requirement” is to use the right hand, and not the left, right? Otherwise…
  1. You can use just your index finger in a pointing gesture to symbolize the unity of God.
  2. Index and middle finger held together to symbolize the two natures of Christ in one holy Person.
  3. Index, middle finger and thumb (as you do) to symbolize the Holy Trinity.
  4. Four fingers held open for the Trinity plus our Blessed Mother; or, alternatively, the Four Evangelists.
  5. An open hand for the Five Holy Wounds of Jesus on the cross.
  • It’s Byzantine style to touch your right shoulder first and then your left, mirroring the motion of the blessing, three times, one after the other; it’s Roman to go left-to-right in the same movement as the blessing, once only. Sometimes I do it twice… let’s say, for the Crucifixion and Resurrection.
 
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