SIL & Confession & Eucharist

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yessisan

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My SIL recently showed interest in coming back to the CC after being a JW since childhood.

Suddendly she has the desire of receiving the Eucharist but what I can’t get across to her is that she needs to confess before receiving it. Because JWs somewhat “believe” you need to confess only to God, she doesn’t believe it’s necessary to confess to a Priest. She just won’t listen to me.

She was baptised, did her first communion and was confirmed back when she was 8-9 (because her dad is Catholic, at the same time her mom was taking her to KH, but now is back at the CC). Now at 23 she decided to come back to the CC. I was told all she needs to do is confess and that’s it. I spoke to the diocese and that’s what they told me. But she thinks that because God is the Most High, she only needs to confess to Him since He knows she feels bad for sinning.

She has told me she’s going to get in line and receive the Eucharist and no one will know if she confessed or not, only God would know. I told her that’s even a bigger sin, but she only smiles and says “I’m going to do it. Can you come to Mass with me?”

Any idea of how I can convince her to confess?

I mean, yesterday I was told that my marriage is finally valid in the CC, and told her I want to learn NFP. She burst out laughing. 😦 She was telling me “you’re gonna get pregnant and regret not using ABC”. I told her that it’s one of the CC’s teachings but she responded “it’s all about what your conscience says”.

I think she still has the JW thoughts fighting her wishes of being a Catholic. I’m frustrated. I started helping her out to come back to the CC, but now I don’t want to help her since she’s doing things all wrong.

Please advise…
 
yessisan said:
My SIL recently showed interest in coming back to the CC after being a JW since childhood.

Suddendly she has the desire of receiving the Eucharist but what I can’t get across to her is that she needs to confess before receiving it. Because JWs somewhat “believe” you need to confess only to God, she doesn’t believe it’s necessary to confess to a Priest. She just won’t listen to me.

She was baptised, did her first communion and was confirmed back when she was 8-9 (because her dad is Catholic, at the same time her mom was taking her to KH, but now is back at the CC). Now at 23 she decided to come back to the CC. I was told all she needs to do is confess and that’s it. I spoke to the diocese and that’s what they told me. But she thinks that because God is the Most High, she only needs to confess to Him since He knows she feels bad for sinning.

She has told me she’s going to get in line and receive the Eucharist and no one will know if she confessed or not, only God would know. I told her that’s even a bigger sin, but she only smiles and says “I’m going to do it. Can you come to Mass with me?”

Any idea of how I can convince her to confess?

I mean, yesterday I was told that my marriage is finally valid in the CC, and told her I want to learn NFP. She burst out laughing. 😦 She was telling me “you’re gonna get pregnant and regret not using ABC”. I told her that it’s one of the CC’s teachings but she responded “it’s all about what your conscience says”.

I think she still has the JW thoughts fighting her wishes of being a Catholic. I’m frustrated. I started helping her out to come back to the CC, but now I don’t want to help her since she’s doing things all wrong.

Please advise…
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satan has gotten his claws into her and won’t let go. Show her what St. Paul says in 1 Cor. Explain and show her the CCC passages so she understands that this is not just your opinion. The CCC references the Scripture passage you just showed her. Then show her the passage in the Popes new Apostolic letter that came out yesterday about the relationship between Confession and the Eucharist. Tell her you will not go with her to Mass until she talks with a priest first.
 
Br.Rich_SFO said:
satan has gotten his claws into her and won’t let go. Show her what St. Paul says in 1 Cor. Explain and show her the CCC passages so she understands that this is not just your opinion. The CCC references the Scripture passage you just showed her. Then show her the passage in the Popes new Apostolic letter that came out yesterday about the relationship between Confession and the Eucharist. Tell her you will not go with her to Mass until she talks with a priest first.
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Can you tell me how I can get a copy of the Apostolic letter by the Pope?
 
The only requirement re confession prior to communion is that we confess to the priest all mortal sins and receive absolution.
If she was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness from age 8 or 9, she probably didn’t have the full knowledge of the seriousness of missing Mass, and did not have full consent of the will required to make the offense a mortal sin. Thus she is guilty of only venial sin and can justly receive Eucharist. Let her back in and encourage her to learn more about the faith. Be glad she wants back in! Don’t push her back out with over zealousness.

Matthew
 
drafdog said:
The only requirement re confession prior to communion is that we confess to the priest all mortal sins and receive absolution.
If she was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness from age 8 or 9, she probably didn’t have the full knowledge of the seriousness of missing Mass, and did not have full consent of the will required to make the offense a mortal sin. Thus she is guilty of only venial sin and can justly receive Eucharist. Let her back in and encourage her to learn more about the faith. Be glad she wants back in! Don’t push her back out with over zealousness.

Matthew
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Well, since her decision of becoming a Catholic, she has committed very serious sins ie. fornication and adultery. She is a single mom if I might add. She wants to live w/a guy and have another baby w/o marrying him, and maybe marry him after being sure of wanting to live w/him for the rest of her life. I think she should confess. Plus, she made the decision herself of baptizing as a JW 4 years ago.
 
yessisan said:
She has told me she’s going to get in line and receive the Eucharist and no one will know if she confessed or not, only God would know. I told her that’s even a bigger sin, but she only smiles and says “I’m going to do it. Can you come to Mass with me?”

Any idea of how I can convince her to confess?
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Sounds like her conscience is prodding her…she says only God would know. Know what? That she might be recieving improperly? We can’t know that for sure, but God would know.

Is this about appearances to her? Does she maybe want to look/feel like a member of the community? So she’s going to recieve and not worry about the possible sin because “only God would know”?

If she wants a sense of community, she would get the real thing (and it couldn’t hurt anything) to wait a week or so, speak with a priest, and see what she needs to do to REALLY be in the community, not just look like it.

You’re being a good friend to her. Keep praying for her.
 
I would tell her that I am not attending Mass with her until she at the very least, speaks to a priest.
With all you have explained about her, she must be told that she is endangering her soul. (if argues that she doesn’t have a soul - jw style - I’d back up big time!!)
 
drafdog said:
The only requirement re confession prior to communion is that we confess to the priest all mortal sins and receive absolution.
If she was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness from age 8 or 9, she probably didn’t have the full knowledge of the seriousness of missing Mass, and did not have full consent of the will required to make the offense a mortal sin. Thus she is guilty of only venial sin and can justly receive Eucharist. Let her back in and encourage her to learn more about the faith. Be glad she wants back in! Don’t push her back out with over zealousness.

Matthew
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A person who has been away from the Church or was Baptized but not raised in the Catholic Faith. Cannot simply decise to return to the Sacraments on their own. They must speak with their Pastor who is responsible for the celebration of the Sacraments in his parish.
 
Well, I hadn’t spoken to SIL since she said she was just going to receive the Eucharist w/o confessing until Saturday.

DH was in the hospital and she called to ask when the next Mass was. I told her the time, and also mentioned that the parish had confessions right before Mass. She just laugh and hung up. She called back again and asked when during Mass was the Eucharist distributed because she’d be late to Mass because of work, and I told her it was toward the end of Mass.

She actually went Sunday, got in line, received the Eucharist and didn’t confess!! :mad: Before I had hung up with her I told her she had to confess before receiving but she went ahead and did it anyway. I think I’m done helping her. She’s denying to her siblings the fact that she’s interested in the CC, does things wrong and mocks the praying for her brother by her parents?

I’m simply disgusted!!!
 
yessisan said:
I’m sad to say that I do because she believes she only needs to confess to God and she’d be forgiven, she doesn’t believe in confessing to a priest.
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Church teaching on the Sacraments is non negotiable. Period.

You additionally stated that besides denying this, she is in a particular state that would prevent her from receiving any Sacramnet including Reconciliation until she met with a priest and resolved those issues.

She obviously knows she’s getting to you and seems to be enjoying it. Perhaps you will have to visit with your priest to discuss the problem yourself (without revealing her identity unless asked - the priest will probably have a dim view of that). Whatever the case, you will have to discern for yourself how much future conversation with her on this will be truly helpful or not.
 
yessisan, It sounds like there are a number of things going on here. Let’s address them individually … * First off, with regards to her “thinking that because God is the Most High, she only needs to confess to Him since He knows she feels bad for sinning.” …

Yes, she can confess to God but how does she know that God has indeed forgiven her sins? Also, how does she know what penance she is to perform for her sins?

If she says that she doesn’t have to do any penance because Jesus paid the debt for our sins, refer her to Heb 10:26-27 …

For if we sin deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful prospect of judgment, and a fury of fire which will consume the adversaries.

… A powerful passage showing that we HAVE TO do penance to atone for our sins. By confessing to God, she isn’t sure if He has forgiven her sins nor does she know what penance is to be performed to atone for her sins.

Both of these problems are elimated when confessing to a priest. Scripture tells us that Jesus gave the Apostles and their successors the authority to forgive sins specifically saying that whose ever sins they forgave, would be forgiven and whatever sins they retained, would be retained. So when the priest tells her that her sins are forgiven, she can be 100% certain that they are indeed forgiven.

Additionally, she knows EXACTLY what penance she is to perform to atone for her sins because the priest tells her.

Why we’re on this subject, ask her if God did not intend for our sins to be forgiven by confessing them to priests, then why did Jesus command His Apostles to go out and forgive sins? Seems like an awful waste of time for them to wander the country side by foot going from one village to another to forgive sins when people could just seek forgiveness from God directly.
  • Next point as far as “no one will know if she confessed or not, only God would know” … Yes, God will know and God tells us in His Holy Word that those that receive unworthily, bring condemnation upon themselves. And without confessing her sins to a priest, she MAY still have sins upon her soul.
  • Finally, I don’t like to judge folks but since you brought it up, with regards to … “She wants to live w/a guy and have another baby w/o marrying him” … being sorry for one’s sins IMPLIES doing atonement and a desire not to do that sin in the future. If she confesses whether to a priest or to God with the INTENTION of CONTINUING her sinful actions, she is not really sorry for her sins and her sins are retained and if she receives communion in that state, she is, as I already said above, bring condemnation upon herself.
    … Hope this helps in bringing her to the truth of things.
 
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