SIL is acting like 'miss holier than thou'

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AmberDale said:
Okay here goes.
I’m a neophyte (just baptized Easter 2005). I’m still learning lots of stuff, trying very hard to live a holy life. Doing what Christ wants of me.
A few months ago my SIL and her family moved in with my family. (family of 4 goes to family of 9 overnight). They were having some financial diffilculties. So we are helping them for about 2 years until they get back on their feet. They are family and if you are in a position to help your family than you do.
Of course they are helping us too, they give us money to help with the mortgage. But that’s it. They don’t help with any of the other bills. That’s okay.

Anyway, lately she has been making me feel like she thinks she is miss holy holy. She is a Catholic, always has been. A cradle Catholic who is relearning her faith. GOOD! I think a lot of people need to learn about what they proclaim to believe.
Well she read somethings awhile back. Then began wearing skirts and dresses all the time. Keeps saying things like “I’m not a man, I don’t need to dress like a man.” “God didn’t make me a man”
It feels like she’s condemning me for wearing pants.
I definately wear dresses/skirts to church. But I prefer pants at home.
She is constantly making remarks to me and my husband about some of our hobbies. We like to play video games (though we don’t actually play them because we don’t have time), most of these games are very nonviolent (MarioKart). We like to play all kinds of games (board, card, rpg). We don’t think there is anything wrong with it, it doesn’t interfere with our prayer life, church life, or family life.
My husband likes comic books.
She is constantly demeaning us for having past-times that do not include sewing clothes for our children.
She makes her girls wear skirts. That’s her choice, they are her kids. But keeps saying things about how the fashions in the stores are trashy. Which I do agree with some of that, but not all of them are.
I don’t sew right now, so most of the clothes my kids wear will be coming from stores. I won’t buy thins too short, too small, or too big.

I guess I’m frustrated, because I didn’t sign on for this. I converted to the one True Church for the fullness of Christ, not to feel like everything she does is better. I don’t have any inclination to wear dresses all the time, or make my kids wear dresses all the time.
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This is an old post, but I would like to add. Self analysis and honesty should follow. Questions one should ask themselves. “How do I feel about being corrected in general?” “When was the last time I accepted anyone’s true incriminating teachings at face value before researching it?” “Am I carrying teachings of other churches into my point of view, and am I aware that I am?”
 
When this thread was started I did not have any kids. I have 5 now…

Cmon people!
 
AmberDale said:
Okay here goes.
I’m a neophyte (just baptized Easter 2005). I’m still learning lots of stuff, trying very hard to live a holy life. Doing what Christ wants of me.
A few months ago my SIL and her family moved in with my family. (family of 4 goes to family of 9 overnight). They were having some financial diffilculties. So we are helping them for about 2 years until they get back on their feet. They are family and if you are in a position to help your family than you do.
Of course they are helping us too, they give us money to help with the mortgage. But that’s it. They don’t help with any of the other bills. That’s okay.

Anyway, lately she has been making me feel like she thinks she is miss holy holy. She is a Catholic, always has been. A cradle Catholic who is relearning her faith. GOOD! I think a lot of people need to learn about what they proclaim to believe.
Well she read somethings awhile back. Then began wearing skirts and dresses all the time. Keeps saying things like “I’m not a man, I don’t need to dress like a man.” “God didn’t make me a man”
It feels like she’s condemning me for wearing pants.
I definately wear dresses/skirts to church. But I prefer pants at home.
She is constantly making remarks to me and my husband about some of our hobbies. We like to play video games (though we don’t actually play them because we don’t have time), most of these games are very nonviolent (MarioKart). We like to play all kinds of games (board, card, rpg). We don’t think there is anything wrong with it, it doesn’t interfere with our prayer life, church life, or family life.
My husband likes comic books.
She is constantly demeaning us for having past-times that do not include sewing clothes for our children.
She makes her girls wear skirts. That’s her choice, they are her kids. But keeps saying things about how the fashions in the stores are trashy. Which I do agree with some of that, but not all of them are.
I don’t sew right now, so most of the clothes my kids wear will be coming from stores. I won’t buy thins too short, too small, or too big.

I guess I’m frustrated, because I didn’t sign on for this. I converted to the one True Church for the fullness of Christ, not to feel like everything she does is better. I don’t have any inclination to wear dresses all the time, or make my kids wear dresses all the time.
Click to expand...
Your SIL sounds like one of those women from the Christian Reconstructionis websites. Tell her that unlike Christian Reconstructionists, the Catholic Church is not soma skirtura.
 
Sarcelle said:
Your SIL sounds like one of those women from the Christian Reconstructionis websites. Tell her that unlike Christian Reconstructionists, the Catholic Church is not soma skirtura.
Click to expand...
Oops, typo.

I meant sola skirtura.
 
Tell her she is right, so many of the clothes in the store are inmodest, and too bad you won’t be learning to sew anytime soon. But you realize that, for you, not being able to sew is a gift, because if you could and did sew your own clothes you just might be in danger of the sin of pride - feeling that* your* way of doing things is superior to others’ ways of doing things. And does she know what God* hates?* If she doesn’t know, tell her. “A proud look” (Proveerbs 6:17 KJV). Tell her that your fear is that sewing your own clothes might make you start feeling superior and the next step is to become guilty of giving “proud looks”. So you are grateful to be spared the temptation! But, wow, how amazing for her that she is able to get on without* feeling superior!* 😃

Also I suggest for yourself praying regularly the Litany of Humility which* will *help you embraces the humiliations that might be hard to get away from in your situation.

(BTW, having 4 more people in your home significantly increases all of your utilities and food bills! If they cannot afford to pay their share of what they are using, they could pay whatever percentage of their usage they are able to… I do not think you are “stuck” with the original “terms of sharing” you began with, if after some time in this experience you realize its more than you thought…)
 
I haven’t read all of the other replies but may I say that I have really hard time with Catholics like your sister in law. They drive me a little nuts. My home parish has a ton of them and they are very elitist and look down on anyone who is not wearing skirts or veils to mass. I honestly think that they use their “uniform” as a way of making themselves stand apart and feel so much holier than others. They’re usually not friendly either in my experience.
 
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