Silence in Church

[Jennet]

There’s always talking before and after Mass in the OF parish I attend. I have learnt to filter it out most of the time.

However, as the service sheets everyone was given on Good Friday clearly specified that we should leave the church IN SILENCE after the Solemn Liturgy of the Passion, I was interested to see if the instruction would be observed.

It wasn’t, of course.

Admittedly, I was a bit weepy anyway on account of the nature of the service, but I knelt in my pew and sobbed afterwards at the horrible and thoughtless irreverence of it all. Could they not keep their mouths shut for TWO minutes as they left in honour of their crucified Saviour?!

Thankfully, any of my more audibly snivels were masked by the men two pews away, who were loudly discussing business.

 

[MKF]

If everyone leaves a parish every time there is something that bothers us, there will be no one left in our church… and it breaks my heart.

This has been happening for decades and it is truly a heart breaking sequence, especially during Lent to think of how it affects the Sacred and Immaculate Hearts. When there is confusion, we just try to teach our children to focus on the altar and the Rosary and to ask for the grace of final perseverance… “now and at the hour of our death. Amen.”

The better Lent we’ve had, the more we can rejoice with the Sacred Heart (Good Friday was First Friday this year and the Immaculate Heart.

Hopefully your sorrow is changed to today’s joy!

Happy Easter all.

 

[Diana_Catherine]

Matthew 7:1-5

If everyone leaves a parish every time there is something that bothers us, there will be no one left in our church. Step 1: Pray about the things that bother you. Step 2: Talk with your priest, and if that doesn’t work return to step 1. Your fellow parishoners are your brothers and sisters in Christ–i.e., your family. My family (parents, cousins, aunts, and uncles) get on my nerves daily, but I would never switch my last name. Same with my parish. Find the things about your parish that you love and concentrate on that. After all, there must have been a reason (hopefully more than one) you went there and kept going back. I’m military so I understand visiting different parishes in a new area to find one that “fits,” but every parish will be made up of people who are not perfect and therefore will not be perfect. Every parish is also made up of Christians, so great things can and will happen there.

I don’t mean to offend anyone or sound overly harsh, but I keep seeing more and more examples of Catholics who seem to be taking paths that are leading them away from the faith. I work with many fallen away Catholics who quit going to mass or went Protestant because of this or that (one even cited the topic of this thread) and it breaks my heart.

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this thread to sound as though I do not appreciate my parish because I do. I am very grateful for it but it also makes me very sad that people do not understand or remember where they are. Many years ago I was offended by people objecting to Jesus and different beliefs in general during a topic of conversation I was listening to and as a new Christian I couldn’t at first figure out why I was upset and then I realized that Jesus is someone also. I felt defensive because they were insulting someone I loved. When the presence of Jesus is ignored in the Church, I feel it is insulting someone I love. It makes me sad too, that people make light of others being in prayer.

I do agree we must be forgiving and non-judgemental of those who hurt us because we too will need forgiveness from someone someday, if not everyday, I am sure. I am not encouraging judging others. but we, also need to be witnesses.

Also, I am not talking about leaving the parish because over this and I would never suggest someone leave their parish or the Catholic church over the issue of noise or talking. It happens everywhere, so that would be usesless. Plus I have been in protestant churches and it is much, much worse and much more disrespectful and noisy but I do hope and pray that as Catholics we can come to know and respect the presence of Our Lord while there and show respect to those who are in moments of prayer. You never know how pressing of a need someone may be trying to bring to the Lord.

 

[MissRose73]

I do not mind talking in very low voices before and after Mass. I take more offense silently when it comes to those talking in normal volumes of voice, and most often about secular matters before or after Mass in the worship space. I was going through a phase last summer trying to find a parish that fit my needs, and one Saturday, I went to a local parish - the noise was so loud before and after Mass that you thought you were elsewhere like a social gathering, not in God’s House, and I’ve not gone back to that particular parish since. I’ve found a parish now that is not completely silent but that’s okay, its nothing like the very noisy one.

I like it when I can make it to an EF Mass as the closest ones to me are nearly 2 hours one of driving. Most of the time there is silence before & after Mass with very little talking in low voices or even whispers in the worship space. I remember one time the priest came out for a minute, apologized for disrupting our prayer time before Mass to remind people that this particular Sunday Mass was going to be a Missa Cantata not a low Mass that they have most of the time then returned back to finish getting ready for Mass. After the EF Mass is done, many stay to pray for various periods of time. Others who wish to socialize with other church go-ers before and after Mass, do so outside the worship space.

 

[couponfit]

I am wondering if anyone else struggles with some of the talking that goes on before and after mass? I like socializing and I like to talk but when I go to mass I like to pray and meditate before and after mass but I find that, especially after mass, it can be difficult. It seems as soon as mass is over people forget where they are and start talking and laughing loudly.

I found this at the Vatican website. It doesn’t mention after mass but I think it could apply then also.

*GIRM: 45. Sacred silence also, as part of the celebration, is to be observed at the designated times.[54] Its purpose, however, depends on the time it occurs in each part of the celebration. Thus within the Act of Penitence and again after the invitation to pray, all recollect themselves; but at the conclusion of a reading or the homily, all meditate briefly on what they have heard; then after Communion, they praise and pray to God in their hearts.

Even before the celebration itself, it is commendable that silence to be observed in the church, in the sacristy, in the vesting room, and in adjacent areas, so that all may dispose themselves to carry out the sacred action in a devout and fitting manner.*

Do you think this could apply to after mass, also, so people wanting to give God thanksgiving could do so?

Ideally silence is best. But remember, that those who are laughing in church, are indeed in church. What I mean is, that each person who celebrates christ’s word is in church and not out shopping or doing pagan stuff. They are here with us. Yes, some laugh, some cry, some bow down on their knees and others prostrate, where some reflect. Before and after mass are the times when we can feel free to witness christs’s love in our own way. I agree silence is best, but I understand that many are incapable of this. Besides, just wait 10 minutes or start a rosary aloud, and they will either leave or join you.

 

[The_Reginator]

Besides, just wait 10 minutes or** start a rosary aloud**, and they will either leave or join you.

That never occured to me.
What an idea. Start a rosary aloud … I wonder what would happen.
I’m betting that either

1. it would catch on and become a part of parish life
   or
2. our priest would accost me for putting on a show of piety. Or he would encourage others to join.
   

 

[Splagchnizomai]

That never occured to me.
What an idea. Start a rosary aloud … I wonder what would happen.
I’m betting that either

1. it would catch on and become a part of parish life
   or
2. our priest would accost me for putting on a show of piety. Or he would encourage others to join.
   

I think there’s a third, more likely, option: **Parishoners will just talk louder. **

Even though it’s prayer, it’ll just increase the noise level, which will in turn make everyone in the nave get even louder. This one goes to 11.

 

[Diana_Catherine]

I think there’s a third, more likely, option: **Parishoners will just talk louder. **

Even though it’s prayer, it’ll just increase the noise level, which will in turn make everyone in the nave get even louder. This one goes to 11.

And that is similar to what happened today. No one started a rosary but there was a small group of women praying, I think a novena today. Huddled in small group trying to pray together, out loud and no one joined in. No one quieted down so they could continue their prayers. They just kept talking over them.

I will say, in response to the starting the rosary though, there is one parish I know who does the Divine Mercy after mass daily and I don’t see a lot of people talking afterwards there. People do usually go out of the nave and talk and it is pretty quiet then.

It is really just a matter of people remembering they are in God’s house and showing respect. People run into each other, see someone they know or haven’t seen in a long time and want to talk and get eager and find it difficult to wait until they get outside and start their conversation before they get out the door. Just need to keep God’s church in prayer.

 

[Padraig1972]

The noise levels are often bad enough before mass or after mass. Often i find it almost impossible to pray the rosary before mass.
And you have cell-phones ringing before mass and during mass (and of course after mass).

I pray that God will talk some sense to these people at some given point in time.

 

[mick321]

Parishioners will be as disruptive as the pastor allows. It is ultimately his responsibility to maintain an atmosphere of reverence and decorum within the church at all times. Sometimes parishioners need to be instructed on these matters. If that’s the case the pastor should make the correction - “catechize” the ushers - and move on. Needless to say, he should never back down from the woman or her friends.

 

[VeiledCatholic]

**Yes, I’ve noticed the chatter before and after Mass. I like to pray before and after as well but it’s hard when all you hear is constant mindless squanderings . Even in the area where the Blessed Sacrament is I can’t even get a prayer out because doors are constantly opening and closing and people are yapping away carefree.

Mass is important to me. Prayer is important to me. Respect for others is important too. Like someone said…there are other areas to go gab and chat, let’s save the sanctuary for what it’s really meant for. **

 

[Marie_Anthony]

I have to agree with Mick321. I think people look to the priest and follow the example he provides, good or bad. I think some people want to know how the priest expects them to behave and some want to know what the priest will let them get away with, even if it’s not a deliberate intention.

When the priest who says the TLM I attend first began offering this Mass, he laid down the guidelines and asked that people be silent and respectful to Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament before and after Mass. He made a point of spending a few minutes praying in the sanctuary after removing his vestments in the sacristy, keeping silent as he walked through the church, and then making sure the doors to the church were closed when he started talking to people in the hallway outside the church (sorry, I don’t know all the terms for the parts of the church building, so my apologies for any confusion). As a result, it remains pretty quiet before and after Mass four years later. Even before and after the OF Masses he also offers, the noise level is actually pretty reduced, possibly because he has made a point of asking for respect for the Blessed Sacrament.

I have also seen the opposite effect. I have seen parishes where the priest has recessed to the back of the church and then begins conversations with parishioners in a normal speaking voice. And it doesn’t stop with the priest and the people he’s talking to directly. I’ve seen instances of almost the entire congregation having normal or loud conversations as they funnel out of the church. I’ve heard people go “SHHHHHHHHHH!” or actually ask others to be more respectful of God’s Presence in the Blessed Sacrament, but the actual compliance seems to depend on what the priest does. I have limited experience with the TLM and can’t say I’ve seen this happen before or after. I have more experience with the OF Mass and have seen this happen a lot.

 

[couponfit]

That never occured to me.
What an idea. Start a rosary aloud … I wonder what would happen.
I’m betting that either

1. it would catch on and become a part of parish life
   or
2. our priest would accost me for putting on a show of piety. Or he would encourage others to join.
   

Priests rarely complain if: 1. it is done correctly and reverently
2. It is done adequately before mass so there’s about 5-10 mins before mass of silence