Silence in church

[JoeFreedom]

Indeed it isn’t relevant, which is why we’re not debating it. The assertion being made was that Protestants don’t have a reason to be quiet before mass/services due to their not having anything to adore. My goal was to counter that assertion since it’s not true that they have no reason to be quiet and reverent before a mass/service. With or without reserved sacrament (regardless of your view on if any Protestants can confect the Eucharist).

Just so I make it clear, my assertion was not imbued with any sort of speculation as to why the Protestant churches I used to attend were not quiet, just the fact that my experience in all of them was that they were not. Again, only my experience, and simply to contrast that my experience in some Catholic churches were not that way. So my experience: all Protestant churches I’ve attended are not quiet; some but not all Catholic churches I’ve attended are not quiet, while some are quiet.

 

[JoeFreedom]

A. Don’t beat up on the guy because his Protestant experience was not indicative of all Protestant services.

If we all, myself included, start being more loving towards our neighbors, who knows what might happen…

Thanks

 

[CarolNoel]

I feel the same way. I read something from St Padre Pio that he wanted there to be silence in church (except in absolute necessity ). When people are talking, Our Lord is there in the Tabernacle but ignored. It is also very difficult to pray when people around you are talking.

I have noticed this too that it is becoming more prevalent. The one exception I see more is the Latin Mass, there is more silence there and easier to pray after Mass.

If people around are talking, there is not much we can do except keep praying and try to remain patient / charitable

I so agree with this. Long gone are the days I remember growing up where you came to church and visited with our Lord and now it is blabbering people around you and they don’t even seem to take the time to kneel for a quick hello to him.

 

[AKDee]

Maybe more people just need to be better instructed on what is appropriate. I always understood that conversation was fine in the narthex, but upon entering the church itself you need to hush and put any distractions from God aside (such as phones, etc). And I think by and large most of our parishioners follow this rule. But there are people who don’t. I recall clearly when my Dad died last month I went to the Church to pray for his soul and I was distraught- there was just myself and another woman in there, and she was sitting in a pew, talking on her phone, while I was trying to pray. She was all the way in the back, I was in the front, and I could still hear her conversation clear as a bell. It was distracting and I resented that I couldn’t pray for my Dad in peace without having my thoughts pulled to her conversation.

 

[Operalan]

The Narthex or Fellowship Hall is the place for the greeting and conversations. That’s not to say that you can’t whisper a hello or wave to a friend/family member. But the Church is reserved for Worship, prayer, and the Eucharist. And that’s not to say that Jesus minds noise…but many want to pray, reflect, and come closer to our Lord in that space. Save the noise for elsewhere.

And yes, I was a former Protestant and the noise before a service, the lack of focus on what we were about to do, was startling at times. It would sometimes take many minutes into the service for the people to settle down from their lives and focus on worshiping our Lord…and at the end of the service, people were right back into their lives very quickly as well.

We attend Mass for the MIRACLE that takes place as well as hearing His word and worshipping the Creator of all. Social hour can wait.

 

[PraiseChrist]

We have a huge church, and I’m talking about full-fledged loud conversations, by numerous people, within the church area, not the narthex. If people want to converse and catch up, why does it have to be done in the church? Within the Eucharistic chapel, which is located in a more secluded room behind the altar area, this is always quiet when I go.

Try going to the earlier Masses, they might be quieter, but less solemn. I know that at our parish the 12 PM mass is pretty loud sometimes, but the 7:30 AM mass is very quiet, though about 1/2 hour.

It’s difficult, IK, but you can offer these distractions as a prayer, for yourself, your family, and the people talking.
I first attended the Latin Mass last fall, at an FSSP chapel and it was very quiet (it was a Low Mass, which only the priest and the altar server speak) Maybe, if you prefer the Latin Mass, have a local parish that offers it and is loyal to the Pope, and this is a big problem for you, I would recommend that you try visiting a local Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter parish (FSSP) or a local Institute of Christ the King parish (ICKSP), if it’s within a reasonable distance

 

[Randy_Carson]

So, now it is “Protestant” to speak to others in Church?!

I can die now, because I have heard everything!!!

It is “Protestant” in the sense that it is more common in Protestant culture to chat with friends in the sanctuary (that’s Protestant-speak for “church”) before the service begins.

And why not? The Eucharist is not present in their churches, so there really is no reason to regard the sanctuary as sacred space deserving of solemnity.

I understand that some people expect total silence, but really, I think you are setting yourself up for a lot of heartache.

In years past, when we attended Mass in our neighborhood, with the people we worked with, went to school with and socialized with on a daily basis, no one had any need to talk in Church.

Today, when we live further away, don’t have neighborhood schools and our communities are via the internet, sometimes the only human interaction some people get, especially the elderly, is in Church. Do we really want to take that away from them?

Yes, actually, I’m all for taking that away from the socializers and giving it back to the people who have a desire to spend some reflective moments in prayer before mass begins. :yup:

I called out the head usher at my church just last Sunday for this very issue; the ushers in this parish are among the least respectful of the need for reverence in the back of the church WHILE COMMUNION IS STILL BEING RECEIVED at the altar!

 

[Rosebud77]

To the poster mentioning old folk needing t chat; I agree wholehertedly and after Mass make a point gladly of being welcoming and “available” …Most I attended are quiet before mass (black looks else) and soemtimes a staff member has told off folk for chattting afterwards …I say often that we need to provide for our old and lonely; wish we couldhave a coffee hour etc in the warm

But before mass; no/

 

[Rosebud77]

Not sure what you are trying to figure out here? Prior to mass (5-10 minutes prior to start), one of the pastors/priests/fathers (whatever you would like to call them) walks around greeting and chatting with the others, encouraging the talking, rather than promoting the reverence for silence of what we are about to undertake as a congregation.

We have an Associate Pastor at our church. I guess since all of the CCs I’ve ever attended regularly have had two pastors.

At the Franciscan Friary here the Friars meet and greet AFTER mass;much more appropriate.

 

[Graceful_Lamb]

Former Protestant here. The last Protestant church that I attended before I became Catholic was quiet before the service.

The parish I attend can be noisy before Mass. I try as best I can to ignore it, although it can be hard at times.

 

[Rosebud77]

I so agree with this. Long gone are the days I remember growing up where you came to church and visited with our Lord and now it is blabbering people around you and they don’t even seem to take the time to kneel for a quick hello to him.

Part of the preparation and training we had, as Church of England had for Confirmation which meant “real church” as opposed to Sunday School was that when we entered the Church we knelt to pray immediately.This created the right “mood” for reverence. I see this often now in Catholic churches here. One young woman I knew stopped going to Sunday Mass because of the consistent behaviour of the women. preen ing "like a fashion parade. " she went to a quiet weekday mass and I understand why. Each of us sets and affects the atmosphere by our behaviour

 

[utah_rose]

You can speak to one of the pastors, even if they also talk, and ask them to mention it because it is normally a necessity when one should talk in the sanctuary, because of the Eucharist. Maybe your family can sit closer to the Blessed Sacrament, if it’s not located behind the altar table, and see if that’s more quite

Of course, we can talk morw outside in the vestibule or outside the church, or if there is a basement where there is a meal served after mass, then that’s the place to socialize.

Now I’m not saying that we become Jansenists, but we can certainly try stop useless talking.

Ours had the same problem. It’s disrespectful to the Blessed Sacrament. our pastor informed the congregation that talking should be conducted in the vestibule before Mass and after Mass. There’s still a little chattering, but it’s much better now. I think that people forget that Jesus is present in the Tabernacle. A neighboring parish has put Silence on the front of their church’s door as a reminder.

 

[DaveBj]

snip

My biggest living hero is a priest named Father Patrick who lives near my parents some 850 miles away. I love what he once said about this sort of thing.

“You know, every day at Mass, the priest has been given the unfathomable right to call down God the Son from heaven, and to offer Him to the Father. We priests present God to you. Every day on this altar, you witness a miracle. An unbelievable miracle that even the angels can’t participate in like you can. And what do you do after this event? You come up to me and say, ‘Father, what are you going to do about the parking?’ You rush yourselves out the door because you’ve got an important meal to eat at Bob Evans. But can I ask you something? What’s your problem? What’s wrong with you?”

I promise, he’s a sweet Irishman whom everyone would love, and I’m paraphrasing him heavily. But I think his “what your problem?” question applies to the non-stop yakking that goes on before the Blessed Sacrament.

snip

Sounds like our Fr. Patrick, an Irish-American I’ve never heard him use exactly those words, but the two of them are definitely on the same channel.

In our parish there’s always a rosary before the Sunday Masses, and that pretty well takes care of the chattiness. There may be a few hushed conversations, but nothing like what the OP described.

 

[Tommy999]

It is “Protestant” in the sense that it is more common in Protestant culture to chat with friends in the sanctuary (that’s Protestant-speak for “church”) before the service begins. !

I agree it is more common in Protestant churches, although my home church growing up was very respectful and quiet before church started. I started a previous post on a similar subject, although from the view of a Protestant wanting more quiet.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=1018152

And why not? The Eucharist is not present in their churches, so there really is no reason to regard the sanctuary as sacred space deserving of solemnity. !

I agree that the Eucharist is not present in the Catholic sense, but I strongly disagree with your assertion that my church sanctuary is “not deserving of solemnity”. Christ is present there, as is God the Father and God the Holy Spirit – very present in the worshipful praise, very present in the preaching of God’s Word, very present in the prayers where the pastors pray for those who come up to the rails for prayer. Very present in the love for one another that is shown before, during, and after church service. I just wish there was more quiet before church started.

 

[pianistclare]

I agree it is more common in Protestant churches, although my home church growing up was very respectful and quiet before church started. I started a previous post on a similar subject, although from the view of a Protestant wanting more quiet.

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=1018152

I agree that the Eucharist is not present in the Catholic sense, but I strongly disagree with your assertion that my church sanctuary is “not deserving of solemnity”. Christ is present there, as is God the Father and God the Holy Spirit – very present in the worshipful praise, very present in the preaching of God’s Word, very present in the prayers where the pastors pray for those who come up to the rails for prayer. Very present in the love for one another that is shown before, during, and after church service. I just wish there was more quiet before church started.

You bring up good points Tommy.
There’s a bit of a difference in being silent “because we ought to” and being silent out of holy fear and trembling, as they used to say.

The Church is not a museum. It’s a living, breathing organism.
We don’t know for sure if it would anger the Lord to hear people greeting and speaking to one another in joyful recognition and thankfulness, or whether He would be glad we were a happy and close community.
There has to be a middle road, and pointing fingers either way really doesn’t satisfactorily answer these issues.
I often wonder why people insist on starting these threads…
when the obvious solution is to gather many like-minded parishioners and have a calm, respectful conversation with the pastor. Ask…*Father, can something be put in the bulletin or perhaps mentioned in the announcements or preached about observing more quiet in the Church before the start of Mass or keeping loud conversation to the Narthex?
*
Then let him answer and respect that he’s in charge.
That’s the only thing that matters. Discuss with the only person who can change the dynamic if people think it’s so awful.
Many priests don’t mind it. Some insist on reverent quiet.
Find out how your priest wants to handle it or if he even thinks there’s something to “handle”.
Having tons of people weighing in with “Yeah, I hate it too” hardly seems to be working for anyone.

 

[Tommy999]

You bring up good points Tommy.
There’s a bit of a difference in being silent “because we ought to” and being silent out of holy fear and trembling, as they used to say.

The Church is not a museum. It’s a living, breathing organism.
We don’t know for sure if it would anger the Lord to hear people greeting and speaking to one another in joyful recognition and thankfulness, or whether He would be glad we were a happy and close community.
There has to be a middle road, and pointing fingers either way really doesn’t satisfactorily answer these issues.
I often wonder why people insist on starting these threads…
when the obvious solution is to gather many like-minded parishioners and have a calm, respectful conversation with the pastor. Ask…*Father, can something be put in the bulletin or perhaps mentioned in the announcements or preached about observing more quiet in the Church before the start of Mass or keeping loud conversation to the Narthex?
*
Then let him answer and respect that he’s in charge.
That’s the only thing that matters. Discuss with the only person who can change the dynamic if people think it’s so awful. Many priests don’t mind it. Some insist on reverent quiet.
Find out how your priest wants to handle it or if he even thinks there’s something to “handle”.
Having tons of people weighing in with “Yeah, I hate it too” hardly seems to be working for anyone.

Good and practical points, Clare. You’re right on. People should go to their pastor if they feel that strongly about changing things. The only thing it serves to do it here is to vent, which sometimes can be beneficial but it doesn’t do much to change things back at your home church.

 

[Rosebud77]

I was pulled up short one day after mass in a far away church when someone told me that the lady deep in prayer had a terrible home life and this was the only time and place she could pray in peace,

We never know do we? best way I ever saw when I knew two or three at the cathedral was that after mass we went for coffee to the wee thatched cafe run by down;s syndrome young adults …

 

[Generic_Name]

Hopefully, this is the best spot for this thread.

My family and I attend mass every Sunday and all holy days of obligation, and have been going to the same church for about 10 years now, although every now and then we attend the CC where our children go to school (it’s more convenient for us to go to church in our home town, than to the one where our children go to school). Our work schedules don’t allow us to get to weekday mass, although I try to attend adoration once a month (when it is offered). This is generally when I can find a peaceful quiet moment to pray…

So, as I try and raise my children, I expect them to be respectful of the church, thus when we arrive early for mass, we kneel and pray in silence. We do not chit-chat or talk. After praying, we sit silently, awaiting respectfully for the mass to begin. However, at least in this church, it would seem that most of the folks like to believe that the time prior to mass is social time, including one of the pastors, and it gets noisy, and sets a bad example for my children which makes it more difficult to enforce silence (although I’d say my kids are a lot better at it than most of the others there).

I know that not all churches are like this, and the one where our children go is markedly better, and long ago it was more common that masses were quiet solemn occasions to be with Christ, and to reflect inwardly, but it seems that some of the CC’s are becoming more like “Protestant hour”, where this is the norm.*

I realize that all I can do is pray about it and realize that everyone else has flaws just like I do, but it bothers me, because I don’t want to listen to everyone socializing when they shouldn’t be, especially while I’m trying to pray.

Just curious to know if other CC’s are becoming the same way and if it bothers you?

Thanks.

*Edited note: I used to be Protestant and while I don’t mean in any way to disparage Protestants, to my recollection, I don’t recall silence being standard.

It sounds like you have options. Go to the quiet one.

I would in a heartbeat.

 

[pianistclare]

As an aside, I’ve seen many priests simply sit and pray in the last pew before Mass.
People quiet right down.

 

[Lormar]

As an aside, **I’ve seen many priests simply sit and pray in the last pew before Mass. **
People quiet right down.

That always makes a very strong statement and quite an impression. I, too, have seen a few of the priests we had assigned to the parish I used to attend sitting in the last pew before Mass praying. Some were just sitting. Others were praying their Divine Office.

It was always edifying to see.