Silly dog dilemma

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I can definitely understand your longing for a dog. I’ve had dogs all my life and don’t think I could live without one. I went 6 months between dogs and it was miserable.

I would suggest that you consider fostering a dog. That way you can get a taste for how a dog will fit into your family life right now without the commitment. Be very selective about what dogs you foster. You want to make sure any dog you take in has a history of being around young children or that’s a very young dog or puppy to reduce the risk of aggression problems. Don’t take in dogs whose history is unknown.

Who knows, you may wind up with a foster dog that’s a great fit for your family and you could adopt him. 👍
Fostering is a great suggestion! I’d advise caution there, too, though. Some rescues and shelters with a foster system are wonderful. They offer help and support by covering vet bills, food expenses, and training. Some aren’t so good. If OP chooses to foster s/he should research the foster program and make sure s/he will be getting the best support.

Just curious, are the birds in your signature yours, Masondoggy? Aside from being the neighborhood crazy dog lady I also have an African Grey, a tortoise, and a cat. I adore parrots and smaller birds. Your signature pic always makes me go “awwww!”

Hmm, OP, have you considered a different kind of pet for your family. I mean, I know dog is where everyone wants to go right now, but there are some pretty awesome pets of other species that might be a better fit for you.
 
👍

And rl LOLZ at the Basset. Our Basset came from a working lines breeder. He’s pretty intense, yet he is also very sweet and loving. Before him I thought Pit BUlls were very needy of human contact and attention, unlike our more aloof American Bulldog. That Basset sure showed me! He follows me everywhere, all day, every day. We call him the Pro-Level Mommy Stalker. Even the Pits will go lay down over there and not need constant attention occasionally.

I haven’t been to the bathroom or had a shower alone in years. Ah, well, at least the younger Pit and the Basset have finally stopped poking their heads through the shower curtain to watch me wash!
So funny! I have a glass shower door and have been blocked from coming out because a newf was laying against it.

As for the Basset, pro-level Mommy Stalker is so true!! Perfect description. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tripped over mine. She’s everywhere I go, that is until 8 pm when she has had enough and goes straight to bed for the night. All that neediness all day long makes a dog tired!
 
Raising a puppy takes a lot of time and effort, especially if you want them well behaved and properly socialized. I don’t know if that will be possible with little kids around.
I raised 2 puppies within a month of each other (they’re both 7 now) but I had a ton of down time and energy being a teenager myself at that time.
Either wait until both children are in school and get a puppy or you can look into adopting a dog that’s at least 2 years old and over the hyper puppy stage. Don’t worry about an adult dog not bonding, somehow shelter dogs know you saved them and are very grateful. Of course, the bond builds over time but it deepens quicker than you would imagine. Also, really research breeds and be realistic. Always get a dog with slightly lower energy than you. Don’t get an active dog if you’re never active yourself. A big yard does not suffice for proper exercise.
God luck! Dogs are a joy and a beautiful addition to the family.
 
Thanks so much for all of the great replies and suggestions! It’s reassuring to know that I’m not the only crazy dog nut out there ;). The first breed we tried was a pug and we quickly learned that pug puppies are ca-razy hyper. Which isn’t necessarily a problem if you have the time/patience and don’t have young children.

The second puppy was a Boston Terrier and while she was smarter than the pug, she was also very high energy and needed more firm/consistent discipline that we couldn’t consistently apply.

I really like flat-faced breeds. It’s just a preference thing. I’m thinking that when the kids are older, an English bulldog or an adult Boston Terrier would be a good match. Wouldn’t get a pug again because aside from crazy puppyhood, they shed like the dickens.

From what I’ve read while doing my dog research, bulldogs love children, are big enough that they don’t feel threatened when a small child bumps into them and are pretty docile and low energy—all pluses for my family life!

The only frustration that I’ve recently faced—and perhaps it’s a divine sign that now’s not the time—is that shelters and rescues are extremely picky and stringent about who they consider to be a potential adoption parent. I can understand being careful to not place a dog in a potentially futile or dangerous (to the dog or to a child) situation, but some of them really want to make you dance and jump through hoops such that I think that they basically believe that the only dog-worthy people are retirees, childless couples and single people 🤷.
 
If you took a job, gave up after a week, then took another and again gave up after a week, don’t you think a third employer would be very worried about such a record?

Try looking at it from their point of view and the dog’s point of view.

You took a dog once, obviously overestimated your possibilities and gave up.
Ok, you re-homed the dog, but still the fact that you couldn’t handle a dog remains.
Soon after, you took another. Again you gave up.
The second time there is not only the fact that you couldn’t handle the dog, but also the fact that you didn’t seem to learn from your own past experience.

If they give you a dog yet again, how can they know that this time you won’t return it, or even re-home it on your own?
(Don’t know about the US, the contract my organization uses very clearly states that you are not to re-home the cat yourself, but to return the cat to us. If someone wants the cat, they need to contact the organization.)

For some dogs it can be a very traumatic experience which will affect their ability to trust someone else, and it might mean that a dog is less likely to find a forever home after it has been in too many temporary ones. If they don’t fit into your family, it might even affect their ability to live with children afterwards.

Now here’s something, and I’m not telling you this to be mean…
We foster cats, and our organization wouldn’t even consider someone who already returned two cats.
The only way you could get another animal is if all that was a loooong time ago (and I mean at least 5-10 years, in general enough time to mature as a person and get yourself more organized) and if your circumstances changed significantly in a way that would make you more able to handle an animal.
For you, neither has happened. It was less than two years ago and you have another child. Children are great, but children at that age will make it more difficult to introduce a new animal into the family, not less.
So wait a few more years and then see if you are ready.
 
If you took a job, gave up after a week, then took another and again gave up after a week, don’t you think a third employer would be very worried about such a record?

Try looking at it from their point of view and the dog’s point of view.

You took a dog once, obviously overestimated your possibilities and gave up.
Ok, you re-homed the dog, but still the fact that you couldn’t handle a dog remains.
Soon after, you took another. Again you gave up.
The second time there is not only the fact that you couldn’t handle the dog, but also the fact that you didn’t seem to learn from your own past experience.

If they give you a dog yet again, how can they know that this time you won’t return it, or even re-home it on your own?
(Don’t know about the US, the contract my organization uses very clearly states that you are not to re-home the cat yourself, but to return the cat to us. If someone wants the cat, they need to contact the organization.)

For some dogs it can be a very traumatic experience which will affect their ability to trust someone else, and it might mean that a dog is less likely to find a forever home after it has been in too many temporary ones. If they don’t fit into your family, it might even affect their ability to live with children afterwards.

Now here’s something, and I’m not telling you this to be mean…
We foster cats, and our organization wouldn’t even consider someone who already returned two cats.
The only way you could get another animal is if all that was a loooong time ago (and I mean at least 5-10 years, in general enough time to mature as a person and get yourself more organized) and if your circumstances changed significantly in a way that would make you more able to handle an animal.
For you, neither has happened. It was less than two years ago and you have another child. Children are great, but children at that age will make it more difficult to introduce a new animal into the family, not less.
So wait a few more years and then see if you are ready.
I agree wholeheartedly. The past mistakes of taking on the responsibility of a dog without having the ability to follow through is something I have to acknowledge and learn from. And I realize that it’s going to take years before we’re really ready.

When referring the the frustration with shelters and rescues, I mean that their attitude as a whole towards potential adopters is insanely scrupulous, even before getting to the point where past experience/failure with pets is discussed. I’ve heard of many stories of people who (even with a great and successful past experience with dogs) are deemed unworthy to adopt a dog because they have e.g., a child under the age of 10 in the home or simply because they work during the day–so who does that leave? The unemployed and the childless? No wonder the country has so many shelter pets!

This article as well as many of the reader comments perfectly illustrates this point
dogingtonpost.com/are-shelters-too-picky-with-potential-adopters/
 
🙂 People do make mistakes and acquire the wrong breed for their circumstances. I own the most amazing little dog who suits my lifestyle down to the ground, but he was returned to the breeder at 7 months old because his owners really hadn’t any idea of what sort of animal he was going to be.

It is interesting to say that the 2 puppies you did buy were ‘rehomed’ with lovely people - which is great and well done for making sure they were rehomed responsibly but…

This is something to consider when acquiring a new dog, either through a breeder or through rescue. Good breeders don’t advertise - period. Good breeders are recommended by their peers and discovered by people who have really done their homework. They are happy to have you ask as many questions about their breed as you can and they will do the same about you and your expectations of owning the breed.

It sounds to me like the people from whom you purchased your pug and Boston puppies from should have politely but firmly refused to sell you them in the first place and encouraged you to wait a while.

A responsible breeder, or rescue, will take the dog back at any time during its life if your circumstances change and you can no longer cope.

Responsible breeders generally do not advertise on places like Ebay or other free-ad sites and they seldom have big, flashy websites.

Okay, technology is a marvelous thing and it is possible to skype and phoen people who live hundreds of miles away, but puppies are not stuffed toys and it might sound great to have your pup ‘shipped’ to you, but if there’s a problem, or you just want some advice, it’s far better to buy a puppy or acquire a rescue from within a reasonable driving distance too.

I personally would avoid any kind of designer crossbreed (breeders cashing in a trend to make money) and remember that ‘hypoallergenic’ is a very silly thing to claim because some people are allergic to the skin, or saliva, rather than the hair of the dog and some people are actually allergic specifically to the hair of non-shedding breeds like poodles or bichons.

Is there a rescue shelter locally where you can volunteer to walk a resident dog at the weekends? That way, your kids will get to spend time with a dog and you will get your dog fix and it’s a win-win situation all round?

Good luck 👍
 
As I mentioned before, you have a long life to live and will have plenty of chances to find a good fit for a dog.
Focus NOW on your small children. Put all you efforts into that. They grow very fast. Soon they will be school age, and then you will be really missing them around the house. The first day of “big kid school-Kindergarten” is hard on mothers.
Give yourself a break, and think about why you feel the need to look outside of what you’re blessed with for fun and companionship.
Your blessing is right there.
Best wishes, and someday I hope you find a dog that will compliment your family well, and bring you other kinds of joy. A dog that can help you teach the children responsibility, compassion, and what it is to be a true blue friend.
Peace.
 
Thanks so much for all of the great replies and suggestions! It’s reassuring to know that I’m not the only crazy dog nut out there ;). The first breed we tried was a pug and we quickly learned that pug puppies are ca-razy hyper. Which isn’t necessarily a problem if you have the time/patience and don’t have young children.

The second puppy was a Boston Terrier and while she was smarter than the pug, she was also very high energy and needed more firm/consistent discipline that we couldn’t consistently apply.

I really like flat-faced breeds. It’s just a preference thing. I’m thinking that when the kids are older, an English bulldog or an adult Boston Terrier would be a good match. Wouldn’t get a pug again because aside from crazy puppyhood, they shed like the dickens.

From what I’ve read while doing my dog research, bulldogs love children, are big enough that they don’t feel threatened when a small child bumps into them and are pretty docile and low energy—all pluses for my family life!

The only frustration that I’ve recently faced—and perhaps it’s a divine sign that now’s not the time—is that shelters and rescues are extremely picky and stringent about who they consider to be a potential adoption parent. I can understand being careful to not place a dog in a potentially futile or dangerous (to the dog or to a child) situation, but some of them really want to make you dance and jump through hoops such that I think that they basically believe that the only dog-worthy people are retirees, childless couples and single people 🤷.
Most dogs shed like the dickens. My Bulldog is a brindle and white that lives to shed on my couch and bed. He simply can’t stand me wearing nice clothes unless he’s decorated them with his fur! If you’re into non-shedders look into Poodles or Bichons when you’re ready. Otherwise, you’re going to have to deal with dog hair all over everything at least a couple times a year when they get their spring and winter coats in.

Short dog hairs have a way of clinging to fabric. If you decide to get a short furred dog grooming will be much easier and wiping it down after it gets into something or rolls in puddles is also much easier (we joke the Pits and Bulldog have Teflon fur), but getting their hair cleaned up is a challenge. A good pet hair vacuum is a must! Also, those little whisk brushes with the tiny matching dustpan commonly found at the dollar store is amazing for brushing off couches if you have the wrist flick down.

English Bulldogs are still bulldogs. They tend toward extreme stubbornness. Raising my Bulldog from a pup was a trying experience for the first 2 years and that was with the help and support of his breeder, my trainer, my family, and a great forum I found. I had to put a LOT of time and effort into training and clean up before he finally matured. I spent a good portion of the first 2 years of that dogs life with a spray bottle in one hand, a wad of paper towels in the other hand, a grocery bag for the debris on my arm and tears on my face. Bulldogs aren’t for everyone and if a Pug pup and a Boston were too much for you I can guarantee a Bulldog will be too much. As adults most are pretty calm and docile, Ike is now that he’s 7, but as youngsters or untrained they try the patience of saints!

I was raised with a Boston Terrier a lovely female we named Princess. As she was my first very own all for me dog I learned a lot from her. Bostons are Terriers. Anything terrier is likely to have a high energy level, a middlin to high prey drive, and they tend toward intelligence and stubbornness. Even the adults need a lot of physical and mental stimulation or they get grumpy and trash your stuff.

As a general rule, most dogs need firm and consistent training. You can’t just train the dog until it knows a few commands and stop. First, because they don’t generalize well and need daily reinforcement of their obedience in different rooms, indoor and outdoors, and in different settings. A dog that has a solid sit, stay, and come at home may not be so hot at it when visiting friends/family or when at a public place. Second, because a tired dog is a good dog and training is a great way to work their minds which tires them out almost as much as working their bodies.

Also, I have a few concerns about your research. Most breeders who have websites are trying to sell you a product. A lot of them aren’t going to tell you the downsides of their breed of dog because they want to make a sale. You want a reputable breeder who will list out all of the ways their breed of choice has made their lives miserable. If they aren’t telling you both the good and the bad, they’re lying.

I feel you on the rescue and shelter thing. My husband is a truck driver and was over the road at the time. I wanted a large dog to be my companion. I also wanted a dog that would alert bark in case of intruders. You know, like dogs have been doing for us humans since forever? Yeah…no. I explained I was alone at night with just my children a lot and that I wanted a large dog to pal around with me during the day, sleep with me at night, and bark if something was amiss. The shelter told me that expecting a dog to alert bark was wrong and I would not be a good dog owner…
 
Just curious, are the birds in your signature yours, Masondoggy? Aside from being the neighborhood crazy dog lady I also have an African Grey, a tortoise, and a cat. I adore parrots and smaller birds. Your signature pic always makes me go “awwww!”

.
No, they’re not my birds but I do have a Sun Conure just like the one in the pic. I actually have 5 birds…two lovebirds, two Regent Parrots, and the Sun Conure. And two dogs. I run a zoo (at least that’s what my hubby says, lol)😃
 
You never mentioned breeds. All I can suggest is to avoid the pick of the litter and that Bullmastiffs are terrific family dogs. I’m also partial to the Cane Corso.
I can’t speak enough on the calm, gentle nature of my English Bullmastiff. Most states have several mastiff rescue organizations for English Bulls, Danes, all kinds of large breed, very calm animals.
 
Check with your homeowner or renter insurance company to see which breeds they will continue to insure you with.

For example, Liberty Mutual prohibits the following breeds: Akita, Alaskan Malamute, Chow, Doberman Pinscher, German Shepard, Pit Pull Terrier (also known as Staffordshire Bull Terrier or American Staffordshire Terrier), Rottweiler, Siberian Husky, Presa Canario (dogo Canario, Canary dog, Perro Basto, Verdino).

However, USAA will simply ask if your dog has a history of biting, even though Liberty Mutual is their underwriter.

Insurance companies pay out more in dog bite claims than any other type of claim.

If you decide to “rescue” a dog, whose past is unknown to you, you might want to stay away from an of the aggressive breeds, since you won’t know what could trigger the dog from its previous conditioning.
 
Check with your homeowner or renter insurance company to see which breeds they will continue to insure you with.

For example, Liberty Mutual prohibits the following breeds: Akita, Alaskan Malamute, Chow, Doberman Pinscher, German Shepard, Pit Pull Terrier (also known as Staffordshire Bull Terrier or American Staffordshire Terrier), Rottweiler, Siberian Husky, Presa Canario (dogo Canario, Canary dog, Perro Basto, Verdino).

However, USAA will simply ask if your dog has a history of biting, even though Liberty Mutual is their underwriter.

Insurance companies pay out more in dog bite claims than any other type of claim.

If you decide to “rescue” a dog, whose past is unknown to you, you might want to stay away from an of the aggressive breeds, since you won’t know what could trigger the dog from its previous conditioning.
Well that’s interesting. I had no idea about this.
 
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