Sin/confession/contrition - help!

  • Thread starter Thread starter Mara
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
M

Mara

Guest
Hello everyone - 2 quickie questions
  1. If I don’t feel in my heart something is sinful - and after having read every Catholic piece on the subject and reflected and prayed and still don’t think its sinful - is it ok to just “follow it” because the Church teaches it, even if I don’t understand?
  2. If I don’t “feel” sorry about a sin - just don’t “feel it” in my heart - but confess because the Church teaches it offends God and I make a firm commitment to try not to do it again - does that “count” as contrition?
On another forum where I asked this I got WAY too many answers that were not answers to my questions but admonishing me for not reading/praying/making an effort etc. to understand Gods word - and Id like to avoid that here - please give me the benefit of the doubt that I’ve read the Catechism, and I am always reading conservative Catholic authors, I read my gospels, I read my encyclicals, etc.

Thanks and Blessings!

Mara
 
Yes to both.

Well, question one what are you “following…” the teaching of the Catholic Church? Then good. Your own personal conscience that differs from official church teaching? Then no, you must confirm to the Church’s position even if you don’t agree/understand/believe…

The second question/concern is called imperfect contrition and “counts”.
 
So for a quickie review, a sin against God requires three elements, sinful matter, a knowledge that it is sinful, and willful consent.

For question 1, the danger I see is rationalization. For example, the church says such and such is a sin, I don’t see why that would be a sin at all, from my point of view. Thus, as i don’t see it as a sin, it can’t be, even if the church says so. Now, of course, there is no official list of sins published by the church, they’d run out of paper before the first edition could get published. Is it okay to “not sin” because the church says so? Shoot yeah! Go for the bonus round and seek wisdom as to why that is a sin for others and for me personally for better understanding.

For question 2, I see a lot of emotion in the question, so I’m guessing that’s where the basis of forgiveness lies, in feelings. However, let’s reaffirm that forgiveness is not at all based on any emotion, not happiness, not fear, not anger, not guilt, not any other emotion. Forgiveness is not based on reparation or outcome of the sin, nor the damage of the sin, nor the repercussions or reparations of the sin. Forgiveness is based on not holding the bad thing against that person so that we can will the good for that individual in the today and future. If we can enact to help with that, so much the better, but forgiveness is allowing love to prevail in hope. As such, God loves us beyond measure so He is willing to forgive all that we ask of Him, even if we don’t feel emotionally sorry. The emotions help, but are not required for forgiveness, the only thing required is the desire to be forgiven and the desire to avoid that sin that got you here in the first place.

Always with hope.
 
Hi Everyone and thank you for your responses.

Yes, blessedwith5, I meant following the Church teaching simply because it’s the teaching - even if I can’t say in honesty I understand it at all. (Not for lack of trying!)

And question 2 - yep, it’s about “feelings” or lack of lol! I simply cannot look someone in the eye and say I feel sorry about certain sins…what I can say is that Im sorry if I offended God and will try to stop the sinning…but I just don’t have sorrow in my heart, I simply don’t feel it - I don’t like that I don’t feel it, but I don’t.

Going to confession tomorrow and would like to tell the priest all this!
 
I’ve struggled with this! With some sins I feel way too much when reflecting on them or I can’t seem to face it enough to feel sorry about it if that makes sense.

I believe the answer to both questions is yes. You are submitting yourself to the Church’s teachings and that’s a good thing - I’ve never heard that full understanding of why something is a sin is required but more just the requirement that you know the Church teaches it as a sin or your conscience provides you with the knowledge it is a sin.

I’m a bit of a hypocrite for saying this, but I don’t think feelings are necessary. In fact, I believe at times they’ve done me more harm than good, though they can be beautiful at times. I believe as long as you resolve to try your best not to sin in that way again that’s enough for contrition.

Good luck! I as well plan to go to confession tomorrow morning. I will pray for you.
 
Yours is not an uncommon experience. We don’t always “feel” sorry for our sins just like we don’t always “feel” forgiven after we go to Confession.

The fact that you still recognize the need to follow the Church’s teaching and also to go to Confession even though you don’t understand the teaching or feel sorrow for the sin is quite beautiful, I think. It is those acts of the will that help us draw closer to God even when we don’t feel like it. Hopefully the understanding will come in time. And sometimes it takes a while. But where else would we go?
 
please give me the benefit of the doubt that I’ve read the Catechism, and I am always reading conservative Catholic authors, I read my gospels, I read my encyclicals, etc. ….
2. If I don’t “feel” sorry about a sin - just don’t “feel it” in my heart - but confess because the Church teaches it offends God and I make a firm commitment to try not to do it again - does that “count” as contrition?
Thanks and Blessings!
Mara
Click to expand...
My friend, I have given your POST serious and prayerful thought and here are the conclusions:
We can compare your situation to a two-sided-coin

On the front side
is the clear teaching of the RCC: For absolution to take effect [forgiveness & grace] [1] Sincere Contrition [sorrow] & [2] Firm purpose of amendment [a real desire not to sin this way again] “MUST” be present.

On the backside

This seems cut & dry LAW of the RCC; but is it the entire truth? I think not. God in order to be GOD must absolutely be “Fair” & “JusT,.” Which I suggest means we ought to dig deeper

FROM OUR CATHOLIC CATECHISM

1782 Man has the right to act in conscience and in freedom so as personally to make moral decisions. "He must not be forced to act contrary to his conscience. Nor must he be prevented from acting according to his conscience, especially in religious matters."

1778 Conscience is a judgment of reason whereby the human person recognizes the moral quality of a concrete act that he is going to perform, is in the process of performing, or has already completed. In all he says and does, man is obliged to follow faithfully what he knows to be just and right. It is by the judgment of his conscience that man perceives and recognizes the prescriptions of the divine law:

Conscience is a law of the mind; yet [Christians] would not grant that it is nothing more; I mean that it was not a dictate, nor conveyed the notion of responsibility, of duty, of a threat and a promise. . . . [Conscience] is a messenger of him, who, both in nature and in grace, speaks to us behind a veil, and teaches and rules us by his representatives. Conscience is the aboriginal Vicar of Chris

1783 Conscience must be informed and moral judgment enlightened. A well-formed conscience is upright and truthful. It formulates its judgments according to reason, in conformity with the true good willed by the wisdom of the Creator. The education of conscience is indispensable for human beings who are subjected to negative influences and tempted by sin to prefer their own judgment and to reject authoritative teaching

1784 The education of the conscience is a lifelong task. From the earliest years, it awakens the child to the knowledge and practice of the interior law recognized by conscience. Prudent education teaches virtue; it prevents or cures fear, selfishness and pride, resentment arising from guilt, and feelings of complacency, born of human weakness and faults. The education of the conscience guarantees freedom and engenders peace of heart.

ALSO on the backside of this coin is the evaluation of this matter and the essential conditions for a Mortal Sin

CONTINED ON NEXT POST
 
CONTINUED FROM ABOVE

1 Serious Matter [which we assume it is]
2 Knowledge that it will be a Mortal sin BEFORE deciding / or desiring to do it
3 The FREELY choosing to want to or actually doing it anyway

Let’s examine #2

Mara HAS attempted to the best of her ability to have an INFORMED Conscience; which is NOT to say that she has rightly or fully accomplished that goal

Hence point #2 is lacking “foreknowledge”; which in effect nullifies the action as being a Mortal sin.
This point then seemingly mutes and overrides “true contrition” as no Mortal sin HAS been committed; true contrition [for this sin] is no longer needed especially in that there is a Firm Purpose of Amendment present.
What remains yet unaddressed is whether or not MY personal evaluation has traction; AND for that to be resolved requires a Trained Confessor. So MY suggestion is that you, my friend, is to either make a face to face confession [which I have been doing for many years now] or make an appointment with your priest to discuss the matter with HIM. What I CAN firmly share is the GOD IS on your side.

Mara, IF you agree with this you may wish to copy and paste this and let Father evaluate it for YOU.

May God guide your path; and PRAY very much,
Patrick [PJM]
 
Good questions. That many people ask themselves.
You are evaluation between your reality and intelligence. And history of the churches instructions. And recommendation.
 
Thank you all for your support and your understanding of these issues…I think Ive had to sit back and really think about the fact that our feelings don’t have to drive our actions AND also look again at my commitment to Church teachings and (as I stated above) my commitment to following them even when I don’t understand them…

PJM - I see your wealth of knowledge! I may PM about it all…at the moment I think I need to do more praying…

I always remember reading about GK Chesterton and his lack of understanding of priests and celibacy/no marriage…if I remember right he ended up saying “oh well - Ive looked into it, Ive tried to understand it and I don’t - but Im willing to concede that the Church is right and Im wrong simply because she IS the Church”…and he left it at that…

God Bless you everybody!
 
Joe 5859 - “where else would we go”…THANK you for that! YES…
 
Simply put, contrition is not a matter of feelings. Feelings of sorrow or regret accompany contrition. But contrition is more a matter of doing than feeling. If you know the right thing (you do), then do the right thing, and positive personal experience will follow.
 
Last edited:
You would probably find the book “the believers authority” useful. As it will give you an intellectual and application of spiritual opportunities.
 
1.)Think of what you did ?, does it hurt other feelings?,does it risk my life?.also if its not that sinful that could be a venial sin though if it’s not worse than others.
2.) Do you like what you did? Do you really love doing it? What made you did it in order to not feel sorry about it. Do you want to stay like that forever?.also if you do not feel sorry about it askyourself just like what i wrote in for you this might help you.
All of this is just my opinions I do not know if its right or wrong.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top