Sin is forgiven yet struggling

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ACanthony

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Hello all! Thanks for your help in advance!

Quick summary: I’ve been struggling with purity throughout my 20’s. It had been a daily problem and lust was the key issue and it would lead to not so good things. I’m 28 now, and with the help of Daily Mass and Rosary and through the grace of our Lord, I no longer daily struggle or even weekly struggle. The temptations are fought at the onset and I can’t really say lust is a problem in my life more than it is the next guy.

I had gone the longest in my life without committing a sin of purity (about two months) but this past Friday, after a difficult day and a very tired and weak moment, I looked at pornography and had a fall. I immediately repented and the Priest told me bad days happen and to pick up right where I left off. I have.

Today, I guess I was just frustrated by my fall. I can’t do it over though and the sin is gone. I don’t feel guilty about it at all! I know how forgiven I am. I guess I’m just struggling dealing with the fact that before the fall I was truly receiving a lot of peace and joy and the last few days I’ve had to work real hard with some thought issues. I am pretty sure it’s a ploy of the devil to get me frustrated about this sin. Does anyone have any suggestions? I keep envisioning Jesus on the cross whenever these thoughts arise yet I’m having difficulty “letting go.” It could be an issue of pride. Before the fall I was feeling real good about being more pure of heart and certainly I was proud of the fact that I was doing a lot better. It certainly is, well, humbling. ANY suggestions would help.
 
Pray to St. Joseph, Our Lady Queen of Purity and St. Maria Goretti!!

May Our Lady throw Her mantle over You so that Your thoughts, words and actions may be pure, holy and chaste. Amen.

P.s. Please do EUCHARISTIC ADORATION!!
 
Yes - this is a terrible struggle. But let me give you a bit of hope.

This may well be a ploy by the enemy…but it is also a blessing in disguise. WHY you ask??

Because you are learning how bad just one incident of backsliding really is. Like the Alcoholic who takes “just one drink” and the addiction comes pouring back in.
Yes the next few days / weeks will be a struggle as you rebuild your defenses. But now you know and this is a great and powerful lesson.

Do keep Christ on the cross in front of your mind. I used this when I was struggling and it never failed to help me…

I developed a “visual prayer”…After all, if we can “visualize” toward lust - why not “visualize” away from it…
So I prayed, “Father, take me to the foot of the cross”, and then began thinking, visualizing myself there. Gazing on the scene of the one who died for my sins.
Hot, dry, dusty day.
The foot of the cross buried in the ground.
The wood of the cross stained black from blood and sweat.
The feet of our Lord.
Filthy and stained and dripping blood and sweat.
I did this - I put Him there - Not alone - but I helped.
Every time I sin, it is increases His pain.
If I refrain, it eases His pain.
Feel the heat of that day, the dryness of the air.
How thirsty He is…
…and so on…

How could I possibly sin while standing at the foot of the cross.

As a corollary to the idea of our sin putting Him there, consider how his cross is the accumulation of our sins. Each time we sin, the cross gets heavier…Each time we resist sin, the cross gets lighter.

Peace
James
 
One of my favorite stories in the old testament is David and Goliath. A boy with a sling shot was able to defeat a giant warrior that noone else was willing to take on. The boy did it not by his own might, but in his reliance in his God, great trust that he could do anything with God backing him.

It is the same story with every battle we encounter in spiritual warfare. If we remember our roots of our strength, then He will deliver our enemy to us. How do we remember the roots? Thru daily prayer, and the faithfullness to daily prayer. If we fail in prayer, then we throw away our armour and we most certainly will go down. We must always remember that we are weak children and can defeat nothing unless we ask in prayer. This is a life long pursuit, a daily one. We are not in control, only God. He does it all.

“Come, come unto me; I will make you a jewel.
Precious and rare the glory you’ll bear in the crown of God.
There are deeds you a lone must do; there are words only you can say.
Trust in me and do not tremble, for I go before you to show you the way.” (hymn)
 
Here’s an old post of mine… I hope it gives you some help:

It’s a very common sin …any priest will tell you.

Our society is so highly sexed and offers us ways to tap into lust on tv, movies, internet, our phones secretly and has become a breeding ground perfect for someone to fall into these types of sins and persist in them until they become habit forming and leaving the victim wondering “what the heck happend! I’m in chains!”

Know its a very common sin…and a very EASY sin to fall into slavery for because it’s so connected with our physical bodies workings.

You fall into it over and over because a few reasons:
  1. It may take some time…but if you are serious, you should see the time range between sins getting farther apart.
2.you have not made a sincere act of willing to change your life…meaning u are willing to maintain some changes:

a, staying away from pornographic sources ( you know where they are ! …if that means putting content blockers on tv or internet…or even being willing to get rid of them altogether…then that’s what it will take or you should not be willing to go to confession until you are willing to do so.
  1. You are probably supressing your pent up energy and feelings and desires and not redeeming them. You need to understand why your body acts the way it does. I suggest looking into “Theology of the body” …there is a reason God made us the way He did and why we have the desires we do! The devil has twisted a beautiful thing within you! Here’s the good news…if you permit God to untwist it…you can focus and direct this great power within you and your spirituality will soar! You will have an amazing spiritual growth spurt fighting and overcoming this!
christopherwest.com/

Christopher west teaches about theology of the body…HES AWSOME! This website has LOADS of info on it. There is a 20$ DVD called “winning the battle for sexual purity” BUY IT! I’ve also found a 10 CD set breaking down the popes teaching on theology of the body for like 3$…it’s amazing… if its something that interests you…I suggest finding it.

Some suggestions:

a GOOD confession…one at which you are willing to rework your entire life. When you get home…you get rid of everything that tempts you (because this sin begins at the level of thought).

This is going to sound silly …but trust me. How you live your daily life needs to change: If you have a messy room/ home…clean and organize it, start keeping track of appointments on a planner, plan out your day and plan a day in which you can keep busy (lazy, sloppy and unorganized life sets u up to fall especially when you have lots of time on your hands ) .

Exercise! believe it or not…exercise burns off lots of our pent up energies

Lastly…start to practice fasting. If you can begin to permit your will to tell the body what to do…your will will get stronger and your body will listen to you more.

If you can start studying theology of the body so you understand why we have the urges and what they mean…the untwisting can begin (along with the sacraments and DAILY praying about this) and use my above suggestions… I can gurantee results.

Remember this is going to be a process…AND it’s a process that will allow you to come closer to God through all of it. Every day at the begining of your day say a little prayer asking God to give you strength and to conqure your temptations and to not treat his daughters in such a demeaning way and to help purify your heart. And thank him every night and rededicate your entire body , and feelings, thoughts to His service.

Oh, also…when temptations come… try saying a prayer like this: "Lord I offer this temptation to you and I’m willing to suffer it in atonement for my sins and for the conversion of all my brothers and sister caught in this trap of slavery "

lol, its spiritual jujitsu…you’re taking the devils temptation and causing him to lose souls!

Good luck to you . If you need to talk…don’t hesitate!
 
Pray daily to the Lord for an outpouring of the Gift of Repentance in your life.
Do not restrict this to the sins you are most aware of… Let the Holy Spirit Convict you of all the areas where you need to Repent.

This prayer will be answered. You will receive the Gift of a stronger Conscience. A stronger desire to avoid Sin, and to avoid the situations where you are tempted to Sin.

I have been repeatedly told by confessors to not let the sins you describe keep me away from receiving the Eucharist. While this is Grave matter, and Can be a mortal sin, most of the time it is not committed with full consent of the will, and you describe a real desire to be freed from attachment to this sin.
Keep up the Struggle.
God Bless you

Know you are very much not alone in this struggle. many many other men and women face the same struggle including myself.
 
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