*‘There are many things which seem to us misfortunes and which we call such; but if we understood the designs of God we would call them graces.’ *St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori
*‘We must never be discouraged or give way to anxiety. . . but ever have recourse to the adorable Heart of Jesus.’ *St. Margaret Mary Alacoque
‘Cling to God, and leave all the rest to Him: He will not let you perish. Your soul is very dear to Him, He wishes to save it.’ St. Margaret Mary Alacoque
*‘You aspire to great things? Begin with little ones.’ *St. Augustine
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‘Beginners in the service of God sometimes lose confidence when they fall into any fault. When you feel so unworthy a sentiment rising within you, you must lift your heart to God and consider that all your faults, compared with divine goodness, are less than a bit of oakum thrown into a sea of fire.’ *- St. Paul of the Cross
“Whatever you do, think not of yourself, but of God.” St. Vincent Ferrer
Don’t despair because you sin, you sin because you are weak, as we all are, it is only God who can give us the grace we need to overcome temptations, in which case you need to always have instant recourse to God when you see that you are being tempted,
one way to become less anxious over your sins, is to understand them, to understand what your sins are, and how you fall into them,
for example, this despair you have comes from pride, it is a hidden type of pride, so you might not see it that way, but what it comes from is having to high an expectation of yourself, thinking you ought to do better and you should be able to do it on your own…when in reality you are weak and can do nothing on your own, you are completely dependent on God …so you must pray, the feeling that you can’t pray to God or look to Him is a trick of the devil, He will try anything to stop you from praying, but the only way to overcome your sins and get back up again is to pray to God…
what you need to do is ignore your feelings(in this regard) and just pray despite all that,
and the truth of the matter is, without Gods help you probably will keep sinning again and again…but that’s where you have to change your thinking, don’t think to yourself it’s useless because you keep falling and will continue to do so, instead think to yourself that alone you can do nothing, but with God you can accomplish great things…rely completely on Him, and accept your failings which happen through weakness or by forgetting to seek Gods help, as something to learn from.
you can bring good even out of your sins if you learn from them, especially when you learn humility by them. often times God will allow someone who is sincere and devout in their faith to fall often in some way, in order to keep them from taking pride in their own holiness, our failures teach us humility, and train us, as long as we persevere, in the ways to avoid sin.
so i would say, don’t let this worry you, you simply have alot to learn, and you just need to be patient with yourself, you are just beginning, and you need to grow at an easy and healthy pace,
it’s good that you don’t want to sin, but if it causes you despair and robs you of your peace, that is a sure sign there’s something wrong and disordered, you have to accept yourself as the weak creature you are, then just learn to depend completely and utterly on God for the strength to do anything…and of course that doesn’t by any means mean in-action on your part, but instead it means to pray and ask God for help in every task or when you are tempted, and then cooperate with the graces He sends you and try to do His will in all things…but how do you know you’re doing His will? simply by keeping His commandments, and obeying His church, which is why you must learn your faith better…and as for that, here are some excellent resources i think will provide you with an excellent Catholic education -
tanbooks.com
fraternitypublications.com
audiosancto.org
keepthefaith.org
fultonsheen.com/Fulton-Sheen-MP3.cfm
youtube.com/user/CatholicClips#g/p
gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewforum.php?f=211197
alright, so i hope this helps, if you have any other questions at all feel free to ask.
take care.
