Sin or Depression. What to confess?

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mamaslo

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I have struggled with depression my whole life. This past couple of years it has gotten major and it really makes it confusing to do an examination of conscience. It is a brain chemistry thing, that situations can knock into major depression, and that is where I am now.

last year, I confessed anger and was told to love myself. That is quite a penance when you are depressed and filled with doubts about your worth.

I went again last year…confessed more anger…and since then I have just gotten confused as to what is me and what is just brain chemistry…so I am going to a doctor and a therapist, but I am unsure what to confess, sin wise. If any here knows depression then you know that often we are ready for this race to be done, so the dark hole inside can be finally filled and I can shed this humanity…but alas, I am still here, he didn’t see fit to take me home, probably means I am supposed to be doing something.

There are times when I just don’t see the goal. Like He doesn’t guide me. He is always here, that has never left me, but how do I make a good confession if it is a physical problem?This year I have been trudging along and my cheese is sliding off my crackers.

Any ideas?
 
It seems to me like you could use some spiritual direction from someone who understands your physical problems.

As for where to find such a spiritual director… Sometimes your parish or your diocese can make recommendations.
 
First
Seek out help for your depression from doctors who can help. Depression can be treated by drugs or other means. The spiritual and religious will fall into place.
 
I did mention that I am seeing a doctor. So i hope you are right about the other. We have parish reconciliation next week and…

The only spiritual direction we have is from the priest during confession unless we get one who says…“nope. just give me the biggies”. or I can make an appointment.
 
I too struggle with depression and PTSD. If your Therapist and doctor are not Catholic or at least christian they will not be much help And if you do not find them helpful, look for another one. Do not worry about what to confess about the darkness. The only thing that can dispell that is the light of Jesus love for you. I find spending time with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament is very helpful. Does your Church offer adoration if not sit with Him at the Taberbacle. The Rosary is also a very helpful tool in the arsenal of prayer. Mnay times I prayed and it was just the words but I persisted until they became real and meaningful to me. Many of the Great Saints too struggled with depression. Reading about their lives and realizing you are not alone in these feelings really helps as well. Hope this was helpful.
 
**I am not saying that this is what is going on…however from my experience my sin is very depressing. when I have rid myself of sin…I have a much better outlook.

Please seek counsel on this.**
 
Sometimes confession is just a matter of finding the right priest!

Keep trying.

BTW, I have fought depression and do NOT share your feelings, because I hate the idea of death, however, I feel your pain.

God Bless and ICXC NIKA
 
GEddie said:
Sometimes confession is just a matter of finding the right priest!

Keep trying.

BTW, I have fought depression and do NOT share your feelings, because I hate the idea of death, however, I feel your pain.

God Bless and ICXC NIKA
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It’s not the death, its the life after that. I don’t feel that way right now, but I am on medicine and starting to get help. It’s about what to confess.

It isn’t the sin that is depressing, necessarily…but since I am human, it might be that also on top of, that is what I need to discern.

I just met with the therapist for the first time and I talked with her on the phone before that…she and I clicked in a huge way, she actually respects my boundaries. She has ideas to help with the things I deal with that sound very good to me, I just need to figure out what to confess. Depression isn’t a sin, any more than diabetes is a sin.

The person who suggested adoration, I used to go a lot, but i have not gone much. it is so peaceful. but it isn’t confession for sin.

Anyway, if no one else has gone through that I have a hard time believing it…but I know I am a sinner, but you have to have been in a similar place to know what I am asking. thank you all for your (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
mamaslo said:
Depression isn’t a sin, any more than diabetes is a sin.
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In my experience, this is exactly where to put yourself in the question of “is this a sin”? If it is part of the condition, it isn’t a sin. If it is what you know to have been a choice of your will, then you can consider yourself at least partly culpable and can consider the act something you ought to confess. Remember: feelings aren’t sins, although choosing a mood or choosing to dwell on a destructive line of thinking can be. Sins are acts, not emotions. When you confess, then, confess not what you’ve been feeling, but what wrong acts you’ve been doing.

IOW, if you were to examine your conscience, you might ask yourself: “am I taking care of myself?” “am I avoiding situations in which I get depressed?” “am I using my mood as an excuse to avoid my duties?” “am I letting more rewarding work get in the way of my responsibility to take care of my emotional and medical condition?” and so on. If you’re doing your part and yet your body or mind is fighting you all the way, that is a state of temptation, not a sin.

Especially remember that being sinless is not primarily a state of perfection, but rather a state of profound wellness of being right with what God means to be the best version of yourself. That is the economy of grace: that is, that the state of greatest virtue is also that state meant to eventually be able to make us happy forever. The mourning over sin is not a self-hatred, but a longing for life and love and eternal bliss with God. That is what God wants for us, and that is why getting ourselves out of our self-orbit and into an orbit around God is necessary. We need to consider God the center of our lives and act as if God is the center of our lives because that is in fact what God is.

I have thought about suicide in my lifetime. I was helped by this: realizing that to kill myself was murder, just as surely as if I killed anyone else. No one is so worthless they deserve to be murdered, including me. Realizing that I would cause harm to those who want to see me alive. I also realize that there are people who need me to do good for them. Maybe it will be hard for me, but there is good that will not get done, if I do not do it. Rather, I will create harm for others to try to mend after I am gone.

Suicide cannot be assumed to be a sin by those on the outside, you cannot know what a victim of suicide is going through, but those of us on the inside have the power to know whether or not what we know what we’re doing is wrong, whether we are not just victim but also perpetrator. We need to remember that compassion for our conditions from others should not be confused with a license to do harm that no one has a right to do. If we can hold ourselves accountable to virtue, we are bound to do that.

If that thought helps you, good. I offer it only because it helped me. If not, if it makes you less appreciative of the worth of your life or how realistic it is for you to go on, then discard it.
 
i also have struggled with depression for a majority of my life. it has been major these past 5 years and i have seen counselors and i have tried medicine and never felt any improvement. it is really scary. i feel bad because i feel it is a sin to be depressed, but i can’t help it when the depression consumes me. i have felt like someone poured a load of cement over me the past 5 years. you wonder when it will be over. we have our parish reconciliation service next week also and i am struggling with whether i will go or not.
i have been to confession in the past 5 years, but the depression remains. i understand where my depression comes from, but i have given up on medicine, because it only makes me feel worse. i continue to do my daily spritual reading which gives me some peace and i go to Mass every weekend and as often during the week as i can. i have suffered many losses, but try to tell myself that there are others who have lost more, so i should not feel sorry for myself. i understand how hard the pain is to live with. a good therapist is hard to find. i have spoken with my priest, but i feel guilty because i know how busy he is. there are no Catholic therapists where i live. i wish there were. if you have a prayer group at your parish, you could ask them to put you on their list. i believe in prayer. good luck. i wish i could be more help.
 
7Sorrows, Do you get support from others, like in an online forum for depressed people? I have found some community and some voice that makes sense with them. The problem we run into is that it isn’t a religious forum so it changes the approach to some things and the spiritual help isn’t there. Although, there is lots of affirmation and support for all the other stuff you deal with.

Easter Joy I find your examination of conscience interesting and worth pondering. Have you ever written that down or do you have a site you found that version?

Thank you.
 
mamaslo said:
7Sorrows, Do you get support from others, like in an online forum for depressed people? I have found some community and some voice that makes sense with them. The problem we run into is that it isn’t a religious forum so it changes the approach to some things and the spiritual help isn’t there. Although, there is lots of affirmation and support for all the other stuff you deal with.

Easter Joy I find your examination of conscience interesting and worth pondering. Have you ever written that down or do you have a site you found that version?

Thank you.
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no, mamaslo, i have never looked for support online other than e-mails i share with friends who might be experiencing their own trials and we offer each other support. i guess i have never thought of looking for depression support forums on the internet. i am not even sure if CAF has one or not. i know they have the prayer group.
 
One person suggested finding the right priest and I do so agree with them

either that or be able to really explore things in another setting with this priest so he understands you at confession.

We have a good priest who is very good at listening and I have my own way of commincating with him. This is good because it meant that at Confession he was able to understand more than what I actually said. This meant he could guide me better and give a better penance though we do things different in church of england but he seems to do things different again, or its just that because he listens well, I have shared more in the way accessible to me so he can guide better.

Depression isn’t a sin by the way. Confess your sins but ask him about depression too if you so wish. But one thing I do know is that depression isn’t a sin and your priest will say the same when you disclose that to him
 
englishredrose said:
One person suggested finding the right priest and I do so agree with them

either that or be able to really explore things in another setting with this priest so he understands you at confession.

We have a good priest who is very good at listening and I have my own way of commincating with him. This is good because it meant that at Confession he was able to understand more than what I actually said. This meant he could guide me better and give a better penance though we do things different in church of england but he seems to do things different again, or its just that because he listens well, I have shared more in the way accessible to me so he can guide better.

Depression isn’t a sin by the way. Confess your sins but ask him about depression too if you so wish. But one thing I do know is that depression isn’t a sin and your priest will say the same when you disclose that to him
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thank you englishredrose. i am glad to hear that depression is not considered a sin.
the priests are always so busy and i guess the one who i have seen seems uncomfortable or feels inadequate speaking about any problems. he is good at listening though, which is still beneficial to me. he is not judgmental.
 
My doctor told me that people who do not have depression just can’t understand. It is foreign to them. Sometimes if a person has had another in their family or a friend go through it, they understand better but there is nothing like experience.

I have found that in the depression forums I am in, there is weird faith ideas and some have been abused by religious people so even talking about it can give them ptsd episodes. But the support is distinctly different than people who do not understand. there are support groups on this forum, but I have found them not supportive enough for my needs. It is quite a relief to talk to others who have that dark painful hole inside who can encourage you to see it and turn from it little by little. When others expect us to snap right out of it.

The one thing that I am learning is that the language is different. I haven’t quite figured it out but I am careful with what I say and I feel as Christians we are called to help wherever we are. Sometimes they help us too. Sometimes you have to blow the horn and say “HEY! LISTEN TO ME!” sometimes you have to get away from the sadness by distracting yourself. Sometimes, just going to adoration and breathing deep the presence of Jesus Christ.

We are still sinners, but probably a lot harder on ourselves for minor things than we should be and need a set of tools to examine ourselves in a different way than someone who does not struggle with this illness.

We still have access to grace too, and possibly, since it is a healing ministry of the Church, if we confess some part of it, maybe it opens us up to healing grace and maybe one day hearing “your sins are forgiven you” will take root and we will finally be healed from that brain malfunction.
 
mamaslo - I too, have been struggling with depression for years, and I also struggle with what to actually confess. Many people have told me to not be too hard on myself regarding sinning because it’s not really my fault due to the depression. But that doesn’t seem quite right to me. I have mental illness, but I still know right from wrong. In some situations, I have told the priest I have depression and I did such-and-such sin. I’ve told them I don’t know how much the depression had to do with it, but I want to confess for what I am responsible for. I’ve confessed to maybe two priests like this, and they both seemed understanding. I pray you find the right priest or place to go to this wonderful, healing sacrament. I also agree that it’s very difficult to understand if you haven’t actually suffered from this yourself.
 
I, too, suffer from depression & anxiety & it is hard to know what to confess! I never know if I’m looking for counseling - & the priest is NOT a counselor - or if I’m confessing an actual sin. I just do the best I can. Because talking about my problems is difficult (on-line is so much easier!) that I tend to keep my confessions really short.

If anyone will start up a Catholic support group - maybe here at CA - I’ll sign up!
 
mamaslo said:
My doctor told me that people who do not have depression just can’t understand. It is foreign to them. Sometimes if a person has had another in their family or a friend go through it, they understand better but there is nothing like experience.

I have found that in the depression forums I am in, there is weird faith ideas and some have been abused by religious people so even talking about it can give them ptsd episodes. But the support is distinctly different than people who do not understand. there are support groups on this forum, but I have found them not supportive enough for my needs. It is quite a relief to talk to others who have that dark painful hole inside who can encourage you to see it and turn from it little by little. When others expect us to snap right out of it.

The one thing that I am learning is that the language is different. I haven’t quite figured it out but I am careful with what I say and I feel as Christians we are called to help wherever we are. Sometimes they help us too. Sometimes you have to blow the horn and say “HEY! LISTEN TO ME!” sometimes you have to get away from the sadness by distracting yourself. Sometimes, just going to adoration and breathing deep the presence of Jesus Christ.

We are still sinners, but probably a lot harder on ourselves for minor things than we should be and need a set of tools to examine ourselves in a different way than someone who does not struggle with this illness.

We still have access to grace too, and possibly, since it is a healing ministry of the Church, if we confess some part of it, maybe it opens us up to healing grace and maybe one day hearing “your sins are forgiven you” will take root and we will finally be healed from that brain malfunction.
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yes, it is hard to believe that there are people that have only experienced a few blue days in their lifetime and have never experienced a major episode of depression even once, or more than once. it was painful for me, because my family was never any support to me.
when i needed help, they were never there and you feel so alone and abandoned. i know that i have suffered depression since i was a child. i just know that i have always fought to overcome the depression and to live a normal life, but i have had so many setbacks and, since i am 60 now, i am finding it harder and harder to fight against the depression.
it has robbed me of so much of my life even though i tried so hard to overcome it when i was younger. the last 20 years, things have really rolled out of control. then you are left with a big mess to clean up!!!
 
Bonnie said:
I, too, suffer from depression & anxiety & it is hard to know what to confess! I never know if I’m looking for counseling - & the priest is NOT a counselor - or if I’m confessing an actual sin. I just do the best I can. Because talking about my problems is difficult (on-line is so much easier!) that I tend to keep my confessions really short.

If anyone will start up a Catholic support group - maybe here at CA - I’ll sign up!
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a Catholic support group for depression at CAF would be great!! i would also sign up. not sure how to get one started.
 
As you start any group on here, it is straight forward

I get confused what are sins and what aren’t sins and but write my confession and let the priest be the guide. I was so sure at my last confession what I said was a sin but first thing he said these aren’t really sins… So all I can go on is trust what the priest says. Prepare your confession and trust in the priest and kind of leave it at that. Though I do find it very helpful that the priest does know who you are and understands the ‘fuller’ picture of what you may be trying to say.

I hate it on these boards when everyone is trying to work out or pre-empt the priest in trying to be helpful to posters but really they have no idea what the priest can do in a confession. Especially a priest that knows what is happening to us. But also I don’t have to worry about absolution because I believe that actually comes from God. Am not sure if that is an Anglican stance or not. Just I believe it. I go to confession because need that extra help in being listened to and forgiven.

But depression is definately not a sin and if we are not sure what to say, then say it anyway and let the priest guide you. I know people are taught there is a right and wrong in confession but in reality what is right is between you and the priest. He will be the guide you need, not us.
 
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