Sin or No Sin

[Booter]

I went golfin with my friends yesterday. Two of them paid for nine holes, I paid for eighteen, although they probably think i paid for nine, and another who showed up late didn’t pay at all. I picked up my friend who showed up late in our golf cart figuring, either he’s wasn’t gunna pay anyway, or he’ll pay when the rounds over. Turns out he didn’t pay at all. Now i was with my other friend on the way home, who was lamenting the fact the he paid at all, cause he’s low on cash. Now through all this as usual, i don’t say anything. Is failing to perform a spiritual work of mercy, when it’s practically tee’d up for you to do so a sin?

 

[Mel_Stones]

First question - why do you have friends who steal?

You certainly missed an opportunity to guide your friends toward Christ but I’m not sure you actually sinned per se. The question is when does stealing become mortal? If this theft is mortal then you assisted another in committing a mortal sin which is a sin.

You have to decide where to draw the line. You seem to be taking comfort in the fact that your friends would have sinned whether you were there or not which is likely true. But your not saying anything is in support of their sin and so some responsibility falls to you.

Would you want your friends to call you on a sin?
The answer is of course not because you’d feel guilty and who wants to feel guilty BUT you know that your relationship with God is more important than any other. Although it may be awkward for you to say anything and it may appear to have no affect, it may bring them closer to God which is the most important relationship.

I also struggle with when to say what to friends. I have friends who are professed pagans and often chastise me for my faith (obviously I use the term friends loosely). But I hope that my example and gentle nudges will lead them in the right direction - towards Christ.
Hope this helps.

 

[rpp]

First question - why do you have friends who steal?

You certainly missed an opportunity to guide your friends toward Christ but I’m not sure you actually sinned per se. The question is when does stealing become mortal? If this theft is mortal then you assisted another in committing a mortal sin which is a sin.

You have to decide where to draw the line. You seem to be taking comfort in the fact that your friends would have sinned whether you were there or not which is likely true. But your not saying anything is in support of their sin and so some responsibility falls to you.

Would you want your friends to call you on a sin?
The answer is of course not because you’d feel guilty and who wants to feel guilty BUT you know that your relationship with God is more important than any other. Although it may be awkward for you to say anything and it may appear to have no affect, it may bring them closer to God which is the most important relationship.

I also struggle with when to say what to friends. I have friends who are professed pagans and often chastise me for my faith (obviously I use the term friends loosely). But I hope that my example and gentle nudges will lead them in the right direction - towards Christ.
Hope this helps.

I have got to go with Mel here, especially his very first question.

Your friends all committed grave sins. You sinned by cooperating in their sin.

 

[Nick_in_MB]

I have got to go with Mel here, especially his very first question.

Your friends all committed grave sins. You sinned by cooperating in their sin.

I’m just curious. Is that because he was present when they did that and had full knowledge of what they did?

For me, I would way it is a sin. But it would be different if he arrived at a different time and paid separately, and there was no talk or mention of paying from anybody for the rest of the day. But I may be wrong.

 

[rpp]

I’m just curious. Is that because he was present when they did that and had full knowledge of what they did?

For me, I would way it is a sin. But it would be different if he arrived at a different time and paid separately, and there was no talk or mention of paying from anybody for the rest of the day. But I may be wrong.

The OP sinned in a couple of different ways. First, he directly assisted one of his friends who joined them away from the clubhouse so he could avoid paying. Next, through his failure to act or to encourage his friends to pay the correct amount. His proper course of action would have been to refrain from playing with them. Here is what the Catechism says:

1868 Sin is a personal act. Moreover, we have a responsibility for the sins committed by others when we cooperate in them:- by participating directly and voluntarily in them;

• by ordering, advising, praising, or approving them;
• by not disclosing or not hindering them when we have an obligation to do so;
• by protecting evil-doers.

	 	 	 	 	1869 Thus sin makes men accomplices of one another and causes concupiscence, violence, and injustice to reign among them. Sins give rise to social situations and institutions that are contrary to the divine goodness. "Structures of sin" are the expression and effect of personal sins. They lead their victims to do evil in their turn. In an analogous sense, they constitute a "social sin."[ 144](http://www.kofc.org/un/catechism/getnote.action?par=1869&fnote=144)

 

[Booter]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I’m not gunna get into the why am i friends with these guys. It was never my intent to cover up or approve of anyone else’s stealing, but inevitably that happened. Now, I taken the necessary steps for myself, (i.e reconciliation), but should I send anonymous money to the course for the other guys? (Note, this is a one time occurance). I know they should be the one’s doing it, but I’m almost positive they won’t do that at this point in time. So, should i pay restitution for their sin (stealing), and my sin of not pointing out their sin?

 

[rpp]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I’m not gunna get into the why am i friends with these guys. It was never my intent to cover up or approve of anyone else’s stealing, but inevitably that happened. Now, I taken the necessary steps for myself, (i.e reconciliation), but should I send anonymous money to the course for the other guys? (Note, this is a one time occurance). I know they should be the one’s doing it, but I’m almost positive they won’t do that at this point in time. So, should i pay restitution for their sin (stealing), and my sin of not pointing out their sin?

I do not believe that you should make restitution for them. However, you might want to try to, albeit carefully, talk them into doing it. Even if they do it anonymously.