Since I Like Y'all

[Singinbeauty]

Ok, I know that this probably isn’t the place to put this… then again it could provoke some thought so maybe it is… I would like to get everyone’s opinions on this poem that I wrote… I would like to see what, if any, conversation it sparks and whether it portrays to others what I was going for… Thanx…
**
The Beast and His Bride**

I had a vision upon a night’s dream
Of a giant creature and his beautiful queen
Their castle sat low in the midst of a city
Full of liars, beggars, homeless and pity
The union between this beast and his bride
Had long since dissolved with the growth of his pride
With his head of knowledge and body of armor
He shut her out thinking he needed her no longer
The ideals they had set when working the land
He reset with his word and the sword in his hand
His army he built grew strong and greedy
Fighting battles they won in masks for the needy
Then one day a virus infected his heart
And the beast fell down as the pain did start
The queen who loved him came to his side
And he realized the effects of his greed and pride
As he grew stronger and the sickness grew weak
The beast and his queen found the love again that they did seek
And he learned that love and understanding were needed to insist
Not the bloody carnage brought on by his iron fist

Shannon A Meloy

Copyright ©2005 Shannon Meloy

 

[johnshelby]

when i read this, i got the image of the united states " the beast"…

we were founded by the outcasts, the debtors and the criminal…

but, our country was founded on the basis of belief in God, and
in God’s laws… (( the bride ))

but, as our country’s strenght and pride grew… so too did we grow
apart from our ‘bride’…

until now, a virus has infected our heart… is destroying the moral
fabric of our country… and unless we recognize God, and begin
to heal the sickness in our country, we will not survive…

but, if we would realize the sickness of our greed and pride…
then maybe we could learn that we would have more strength
thru love, than thru an iron fist…

but then, maybe i saw it this way cause this is a Catholic
discussion forum… lol



oh, and it was a good read…

 

[LSK]

It was interesting…I saw it as the many churches who had fallen out of communion with Rome…and the Queen as the Blessed Mother trying to lead them back to the Truth and to Full Communion and to the Full Banquet that is Christianity.

Now, as a Rhetorician, I can see some medivial influences…and some repetition that could be eliminated but it was not bad for a first or second draft.

Good work.