Sinful blogging?

[lynnehelen]

I couldn’t find a place anywhere in the forum to ask this question, so I am placing it here. Maybe I do need prayers about it. I have asked for so many alread and am starting to move through things again.

What I want to know about is a blog I wrote early this year, when I was desperate. I prayed about it, and wasn’t clear about the answer, but wasn’t sure I should do it. I had been seeking help for so long, and I finally got my own computer.

So I started blogging about my family situation, and then about just about everything that had ever happened to me, especially about people, places, situations, where I felt wronged. It ended up on a dramatic note, with me sitting up all night with my computer in front of me scared that my husband, who had had a head injury and is a former alcoholic, had a gun. He would be sitting silently in a chair with his legs crossed. Before the injury he had become involved with several other women, having announced to me that “I had competition.”

I wound up taking the blog down in terror in the midst of a thundestorm, and then got even more panicked. The blog had also become about my 17-year-old son demanding to have his girlfriend sleep over in his bed, which I refused, but my husband supported. She drove me out of my mind. The upshot was that I went to the police, got taken into protective custody and put on a psych ward. I was released to a motel, spent a day on a cardian unit, and was then sent back to the family home to recover. Finally, in the midst of intense hostility, I wound up getting tasered and getting a severe concussion when I called 911 when my son was having a party at my home. (The girlfriend was there. Husband sent them there. Otherwise, about six other young men.)

Now here it is Christmastime, which has been a disaster for years. I am in my apartment. And I am blogging again. I am trying to do it responsibility with the legitimate desire to clear up my reputaton from what I went through with my husband and my family over trying to raise my son while having a history of treatment for mental illnes which they used to keep putting me back in the hospital again and again instead of addressing his alcoholism, hysteria, and violence toward me and my son. The cops were part of the picture. According to my husband, they threatened to “put me in the hospital for good” if I called 911 again, after the tasering. He said he was going to sue but then did nothing.

I have talked a lot in this forum. This tale brings it about up to date. My question, or prayer request, is about the blogs. I don’t know if I should be doing it. I fear I should quit but I am addited. But it is my only outlet and has helped me straighten things out in my head. Now I try not to get too personal and graphic. It doesn’t feel very Christian to me to be doing it, as I say about my family what is true, but it goes against them. My mother (whom I have referred to as the Queen of Death because she is an outspoken proponent of abortion and resonsible for 3) threatened legal action against me (over the blog) after taking me to their house in Pennsylvania after the tasering, supposedly to help me. Somehow I escaped them and got into this apartment and I found this site and have been coming here and have been going through an intensity of healing which, as a prayer warrior pointed out, can be painful. I am stressed and traumatized.

The blog has developed a life of its own. I don’t know how to stop. whether I should, or what else to do for comfort and relief, as I see noone except my son. I my blogs (I have 4) I talk a lot about my faith, against abortion, in defense of the mentally ill, attempting to give advice, as well as about the “Raw Truth” about my family, which isn’t really getting back off the ground.

If you can direct me or pray for me I would appreciate it.

 

[lynnehelen]

Also, my family used to be prominent. My father was a pioneer in the integrated circuit business when the computer revolution was in its inception. I dabbled in a little artificial intelligence programming myself when I was in college. So I am draw to the high tech crowd, who don’t tend to be very religious. So this situation is a conflict for me as I am very serious about my faith but blocked in it by the attitutdes involved in this affiliation, at least, as far as I heard it told by my father and in college.
lyynehelen

 

[Leegal]

You are religious so I would suggest speaking about this with a spiritual advisor or pastor about this.

You also fear that you should take down the blogs and stop blogging on the net. I think you instincts are good and I agree, especially since you have been threatened with lawsuits.

Though I realize you are high-tech more than most, I would suggest, as an alternative, that you start a journal where you can write down your thoughts privately. In the alternative, I think you can decide which blogs you can stop for now. You need not take on all the world’s problems with your blogs, so decide to eliminate 3 of them, if not all.

A simple prayer that I find effective is this: say “Divine Order.” God wants order in his world, and yours. This brief two word prayer invokes God’s order. Say these two words when you feel tempted to blog, and turn to a journal instead when you feel the need to write – and turn to the Bible.

---

Lord Jesus, you came to heal our wounded and troubled hearts. I beg you to heal the torments that cause anxiety in my heart; I beg you, in a particular way, to heal all who are the cause of sin.

I beg you to come into my life and heal me of the psychological harms that struck me in my early years and from the injuries that they caused throughout my life.

Lord Jesus, you know my burdens. I lay them all on your Good Shepherd’s Heart. I beseech you–by the merits of the great, open wound in your heart–to heal the small wounds that are in mine. Heal the pain of my memories, so that nothing that has happened to me will cause me to remain in pain and anguish, filled with anxiety.

Heal, O Lord, all those wounds that have been the cause of all the evil that is rooted in my life. I want to forgive all those who have offended me. Look to those inner sores that make me unable to forgive. You who came to forgive the afflicted of heart, please, heal my own heart. Heal, my Lord Jesus, those intimate wounds that cause me physical illness. I offer you my heart. Accept it, Lord, purify it and give me the sentiments of your Divine Heart. Help me to be meek and humble.

Grant me to regain peace and joy in the knowledge that you are the Resurrection and the Life. Make me an authentic witness to your Resurrection, your victory over sin and death, your living presence among us

Amen.

God Bless.

 

[ready]

Lord, may lynnehelen stop blogging about things that are damaging to the reputation of her family, even though her family has done her serious wrong. She has been treated most unfairly, but help her not to sin as a result of her pain. She knows in her heart that her blogging about her family’s sins is wrong; please help her to be able to stop. May she consider taking up journaling and look for a holy priest to be her spiritual director. She can tell her story privately to him, and will benefit by his good counsel. Help lyneehelen to heal from all her past injuries through regular spiritual direction and the frequent and worthy reception of the sacraments. Help her to forgive her family and to pray for them. May she only ask for prayers for her family from now on; may she not desire to blog about them anymore. Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer.

 

[Soldier_Of_God]

A blog is a means to an end and not an end unto itself. It’s now becoming an dependency for you. Use them for the good they can produce but not as a way to feed a compulsion. I will pray for you and your family…

Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

 

[244Rocket]

Praying hard for you.