Single and married vocations

[awfulthings9]

Sorry about the vague title, but I am head of a newly formed vocations committee at our parish. While we feel we have a great start on our program for the vocation of priesthood, we are looking for ideas on how to reach out and support those in the vocations of marriage and the single life. For the married couples, we’re implementing a monthly support group for mixed marriages (mixed religions, not race, of course). Any other ideas or things your parish does to strengthen marriages or encourage healthy ones? Now, for the single’s vocation. I think that many who have chosen this vocation feel very left out at a lot of churches. We want to provide activities and support without it seeming as though we’ve set up a dating service. Prayer groups are fine, but what are some other suggestions? Thanks! Incidentally, I want to offer our ideas from our priesthood vocations program to whomever desires such information for a committee in their parish. We have a researched-based, proactive approach that seems to be working so far in sparking interest. Drop me a line if you’d like me to share. Thanks.

 

[mercygate]

awfulthings9:

Sorry about the vague title, but I am head of a newly formed vocations committee at our parish. While we feel we have a great start on our program for the vocation of priesthood, we are looking for ideas on how to reach out and support those in the vocations of marriage and the single life. For the married couples, we’re implementing a monthly support group for mixed marriages (mixed religions, not race, of course). Any other ideas or things your parish does to strengthen marriages or encourage healthy ones? Now, for the single’s vocation. I think that many who have chosen this vocation feel very left out at a lot of churches. We want to provide activities and support without it seeming as though we’ve set up a dating service. Prayer groups are fine, but what are some other suggestions? Thanks! Incidentally, I want to offer our ideas from our priesthood vocations program to whomever desires such information for a committee in their parish. We have a researched-based, proactive approach that seems to be working so far in sparking interest. Drop me a line if you’d like me to share. Thanks.

I’m sure 50 people will respond if you post a link to your vocations program – especially if you have results. Eventually, you might consider publishing ???

I believe the Evangelical organization, Focus on the Family (www.family.org) has materials for people in the single state.

 

[Jael4Jud]

awfulthings9:

… we are looking for ideas on how to reach out and support those in the vocations [SIC-this is a mistake!] of marriage and the single life.

---

Now, for the single’s vocation[SIC-this is a mistake!] . I think that many who have chosen this vocation feel very left out at a lot of churches. We want to provide activities and support without it seeming as though we’ve set up a dating service. Prayer groups are fine, but what are some other suggestions?

Hello awfulthings9.

The single state is not a vocation.

Period.

**A Single person is an adult person who is not married, not a vowed religious and not a priest.

**The defining common characteristic of all the Singles is the fact that they are not living in a vowed or sacramental vocation of the Catholic Church. They are living as adults whose state in life is not a focused, total and permanent gift of self through marriage, ordination or religious vows. This is not to say that Single persons are necessarily selfish, but rather that the ways in which a person living in the Single state serves others are unique and different from those living in married or consecrated celibate vocations.

And living in the Single state is not a permanent commitment, but rather a state from which the Single person may at any time choose to enter the married life or a consecrated celibate vocation at any time.

It’s NOT a vocation.

As a single adult Catholic, it drives me up a cotton-pickin’ WALL to hear well-meaning married folks like the folks on your committee try to tell me that I already have a vocation.

Although your case is different, it is usually a sign that the person touting this highly offensive misconception has found an excuse to walk away from me and not help me to find my vocation: "We have found the cure for hunger! All we have to do is re-write the dictionary so that the starving people are declared on paper to be well-fed. What a benevolent people we are!!"

I’m not alone in my opinion. Mary Beth Bonacci says such a misnomer is condescending and unhelpful to single adult Catholics in the following article:

reallove.net/articles/270.htm

PS- shabby treatment of the single population by the married folk and priests has led to lots of folks leaving the Catholic Church-- and has anyone considered the fact that we as single adults are the ONLY source for priestly and religious vocations? No one else can decide to give themselves in a priestly or religious vocation except a single adult.

 

[Jael4Jud]

awfulthings9:

Now, for the single’s vocation. I think that many who have chosen this vocation feel very left out at a lot of churches. We want to provide activities and support without it seeming as though we’ve set up a dating service…

Why so skittish about the idea that single Catholics in your parish might want to date each other?

How else are they supposed to discern the possiblity of entering the vocation of marriage with a potential spouse? And where else besides the CHURCH are they supposed to seek that one special person with whome to enter this SACRAMENT??

Dating is not a sin, and you should have some respect for and confidence in the single adults of your parish that they are capable of conducting themsleves in a proper manner.

Here’s a suggestion for your committee to perform a much-needed SERVICE to the single adults: Why not take some time to EDUCATE your parish that single people are whole and valuable members of the Church and they don’t deserve to be stereotyped?

 

[Elizabeth_Henni]

Dear awfulthings9,

I’m sure the last few posters were actually very grateful for your post because it allowed them to vent their frustrations. In this light, it may help you to know how frustrated some single are. I hope you have received their posts in a good light. It seems they are suffering so.

I’m sure that there may be other singles out there who feel the same way they do. I’m also sure that there may be other singles out there who feel differently.

My point, however, is to especially acknowledge you and your for trying to help others. I commend your efforts and pray that when tapping into the frustrations of others it will seem as a blessing to you and not a discouragement.

I hope those who read this thread will contemplate upon what they might be able to do to help–even if it’s as simple as posting a note of encouragement for those who are engaged in apostolic action.

Sincerely yours in Christ and the Most Holy Rosary,
Elizabeth

 

[Hidden_One]

As I read the first post, I began waiting for someone to attack the entirely unsupported (by the Magisterium, Tradition, Scripture, or the Saints) idea that the single life itself is a vocation.

It sure didn’t take long.

Now, let us continue this discussion without further venting.

As to strengthening couples… perhaps a weekly/biweekly/whatever period of Exposition of the Blessed Sacrament (open to the public) for the strengthening of marriages? Have couples sign up as couples to take all the time slots to make sure that there’s always at least someone there. (Likewise, another period or periods of Exposition for prayer for the strengthening of the priesthood and whatnot, as well as, perhaps, for other vocations couldn’t hurt.)

Also, while you’re busy promoting vocations, make sure that the parish-provided religious education is thoroughly orthodox and the catechists, in addition to simply being orthodox, are also well informed and educated in their faith. Bad religious education doesn’t merely destroy the vocational discernment of children and fail to prepare them for later on, but it also drives them out of the Church.

 

[barb_finnegan]

Jael4Jud-all I can say is THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

:yup: :yup:

You hit the nail right square on the head! I couldn’t have said it better myself!

That’s EXACTLY how I feel!