Single girl and standards :)

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canadiannurse said:
Maybe I won’t meet the man meant for me for another 15 years, if its God’s plan, and I know that is the way to go rather than rushing something of my own desires.
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Thank you for sharing. This is wonderful advice for all single Catholics.
 
canadiannurse said:
I’ve been following this part of the thread without much to add to it but BlueEyedLady I must admit the men who say they are handsome (in their profile, it usually starts off with Good looking career man, looking for devoted wife…) and I find them not attractive, or perhaps the arrogance makes them unattractive right off the bat.
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It’s not good to judge a book by it’s cover------but with on-line dating that happens a lot. A picture is always going to get people more attention, so I will always recommend that. The thing you need to understand about on-line dating is it only works if you’re going to invest in it AND not put up with red flags and make lame excuses for other people.

So, if you want to meet someone, you’ve got to put up a nice picture and pictures of yourself having fun. Some sites may have a standard for a head shot even. The people who don’t do well are the ones who have pictures up that are old, faded and maybe trying to hide something (like weight).

If you start talking to some of the guys who look arrogant, you may not find them so smug, and they have a decisive advantage over guys who don’t have any photos.

Otherwise, I would never advise anyone to continue to date someone they know they are not attracted to. I don’t think you’d ever be anyone any favors by doing that. But you need to ask yourself: “can I really ascertain that just by a picture?”.
 
Maybe I won’t meet the man meant for me for another 15 years, if its God’s plan, and I know that is the way to go rather than rushing something of my own desires.
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CatholicGuy31 said:
Thank you for sharing. This is wonderful advice for all single Catholics.
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There’s a lot of women out there who say they are looking, but get scared when they meet a decent guy and things get more serious. What really ends up happening is they end up collecting guys on social media.

For guys, it may give them an excuse not to commit, and you find yourself in a relationship lasting 8 or more years with no plans for engagement or getting married.
 
Marry the kind of man you can’t stop talking to. He should be the kind of man that you want to talk about anything with, even when it is occasionally a healthy debate. I discovered that If you can’t stop talking with each other, you will naturally uncover a lot of the other things that matter on your list. In general, if you can talk about some subjects and not others, or if the conversations get kind of tired and awkward, it probably won’t work out and there are probably some deal breakers there that mean you shouldn’t be together.

My husband and I would sit outside and we could literally talk all night when we started really getting to know each other. We would have to force ourselves to stop talking so we could each go back to our dorms and get a few hours of sleep before classes the next day. He was the first guy I dated where I literally couldn’t stop wanting to talk to him. Previous boyfriends would get boring to talk to after a while and there were certain subjects where we just wouldn’t talk about them because it was awkward because we would or probably would disagree. That changed with my husband. When I met my husband, we would talk about any topic, even if it meant a debate, because we were both truly interested in why the other believed a certain position. (However, we were in agreement on all major morals and values that were “dealbreaker” issues).

I should note that talking about everything all the time doesn’t last forever. As you settle into a relationship and know each other better, you will still have good conversations, but don’t feel bad if some of these conversations get shorter. If my husband wanted to just sit up and talk without any real reason until 2 am now I would tell him to leave me alone and let me go to sleep and we will talk tomorrow! To be fair, he would do the same to me if it was the other way around.There will come a point where these long conversations don’t happen as often as they used to, but you will get a sense that it is because you already know the person so they just aren’t as necessary. If it’s the right person though, you will generally find that you can still be very open with each other when conversations and discussions do arise. If my husband and I need to stay up late to decide something or discuss something, we could.
 
Iheartcoffee said:
Marry the kind of man you can’t stop talking to. He should be the kind of man that you want to talk about anything with, even when it is occasionally a healthy debate. I discovered that If you can’t stop talking with each other, you will naturally uncover a lot of the other things that matter on your list. In general, if you can talk about some subjects and not others, or if the conversations get kind of tired and awkward, it probably won’t work out and there are probably some deal breakers there that mean you shouldn’t be together.
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Adjust for introversion/extroversion scale as needed. I know some happy couples who work precisely because they are both perfectly happy sitting on the couch reading books next to each other.
 
Iheartcoffee said:
Marry the kind of man you can’t stop talking to. He should be the kind of man that you want to talk about anything with, even when it is occasionally a healthy debate. I discovered that If you can’t stop talking with each other, you will naturally uncover a lot of the other things that matter on your list. In general, if you can talk about some subjects and not others, or if the conversations get kind of tired and awkward, it probably won’t work out and there are probably some deal breakers there that mean you shouldn’t be together.

My husband and I would sit outside and we could literally talk all night when we started really getting to know each other. We would have to force ourselves to stop talking so we could each go back to our dorms and get a few hours of sleep before classes the next day. He was the first guy I dated where I literally couldn’t stop wanting to talk to him. Previous boyfriends would get boring to talk to after a while and there were certain subjects where we just wouldn’t talk about them because it was awkward because we would or probably would disagree. That changed with my husband. When I met my husband, we would talk about any topic, even if it meant a debate, because we were both truly interested in why the other believed a certain position. (However, we were in agreement on all major morals and values that were “dealbreaker” issues).

I should note that talking about everything all the time doesn’t last forever. As you settle into a relationship and know each other better, you will still have good conversations, but don’t feel bad if some of these conversations get shorter. If my husband wanted to just sit up and talk without any real reason until 2 am now I would tell him to leave me alone and let me go to sleep and we will talk tomorrow! To be fair, he would do the same to me if it was the other way around.There will come a point where these long conversations don’t happen as often as they used to, but you will get a sense that it is because you already know the person so they just aren’t as necessary. If it’s the right person though, you will generally find that you can still be very open with each other when conversations and discussions do arise. If my husband and I need to stay up late to decide something or discuss something, we could.
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I don’t know why I didn’t see this yet, but this just answered another question I had! Thank you 🙂
 
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