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ahd
Guest
I am considering the single life vocation. What should I do to for fill this vocation and is it a sin if I should meet somebody along the way and fall in love. Thankyou for your time.
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lil_flower_luv
Guest
Just keep following that peace. Perhaps single life is your vocation for right now. God is full of surprises, but He will never lead you to a vocation where you are unhappy.
Staying active in your parish is a big part of this vocation. Teach CCD, or work with the elderly, poor, etc. There’s a lot you can do!
God’s peace and blessings to you!
Therese
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CatholicGuy22
Guest
Single life vocation is a good way to live and follow christ but always be aware becuase God can always surprise you and put in another vocation But just remember always trust in Jesus and he will make things better. Peace Brother
Love and pray for your enemies and those who persecute you.
Love and pray for your enemies and those who persecute you.
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ahd
Guest
Thankyou for those responses they have helped alot. May God bless and keep you all.
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puzzleannie
Guest
no it is not a sin, simply a sign that your vocation is marriage. One of the primary signs of a vocation is a desire for that state. Outside of consecrated religious life, simply being single is not necessarily a vocation, unless by that you mean a celibate state that frees you for good works in service of God, the Church, the poor etc.
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Salonika
Guest
Dear ahd - I agree with Catholic Guy but then as someone who has always been sure that I was called to the single life you probably wouldn’t expect any other answer.Single life vocation is a good way to live and follow christ but always be aware because God can always surprise you and put in another vocation. But just remember always trust in Jesus and he will make things better. Peace Brother
Also as other posters have said be open to the alternatives but always make sure that your are affirming or changing your choice for the correct reasons.
I say this because there are still people around (and you’ll find some on some threads) who consider that the single life non religious life pre se is a selfish choice and so not really valid. Or those that consider that because you are not married you are not doing your bit for the family. Until it became irrelevant (because of age) I used to be told this among much sighing sometimes that my branch of the family would die out.
Also being single doesn’t mean someone doesn’t like children and isn’t nurturing to them. For some of us it our single aunts and great aunts were those relatives we most liked to visit.
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Norseman82
Guest
“Single life” is not a formal vocation unless you are referring to consecrated life with vows that “lock you in” like marriage or ordination vows. Unless you take those vows, you will not have a canonical impediment to marriage, so I don’t see how it would be a sin in and of itself. I think that is what puzzleannie was referring to.
Additionally, please read the section on marriage in the Catechism. There, you will notice that “single” is not referred to as a vocation as much as a circumstance. The “state of life” vocations are marriage (which CCC 1603 states is written into our very nature) and “virginity for the sake of the kingdom” which is furtehr qualified as priestly ministry or consecrated life.
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elizabeth_anne_1
Guest
There is a book I would reccomend to you- “The Courage To Be Chaste” by Fr. Benedict Groeschel. He has a chapter in that book concerning “Living Singleness With Style.” For some people “official consecrated life” is not an option and neither is marriage and these people are not insignificant in the Body of Christ- whether or not they “officially qualify” for the label of “vocation.” The label is not so very important. The important thing in life is the Will of God. This book help because there can be a temptation to live singleness with a self-focus. In marriage or communal life there many “built in” opportunities to deny oneself for another…and this is how we are all called to live because to serve in love is holiness. This is not impossible by any means for a single person. but it may require more of an effort to find those ways to serve. Also, the support of community, is important in any life- those who support and encourage and challenge each other to trust God and to grow in His grace. To live singleness with a great intentionality to give of myself is very important for me.
God bless you!
God bless you!
B
barb_finnegan
Guest
I’m a ‘middle-aged’ single [mid-50s], and I don’t consider singlehood to be a ‘vocation’ at all [BTW, Norseman, thanks for the citation from the Catechism 
].
I thought about religious life in my mid-teens to mid-twenties, but was not accepted. I also went the Third Order route-twice-and those didn’t turn out very well either. And I had no desire for marriage…never had a boyfriend, and can count on the fingers of one hand anything resembling a ‘date’.
I live alone, and stay under the radar with regards to ‘church activities’. Only things I’m in now are Perpetual Adoration and the Latin Mass. I’m not into the ‘ministry’ mantra.
Sometimes I think the single state is for ‘losers’-and I even got a letter once from a Sister in Italy who called it ‘a forced state’. So what else is there?
Not much… :nope:
].I thought about religious life in my mid-teens to mid-twenties, but was not accepted. I also went the Third Order route-twice-and those didn’t turn out very well either. And I had no desire for marriage…never had a boyfriend, and can count on the fingers of one hand anything resembling a ‘date’.
I live alone, and stay under the radar with regards to ‘church activities’. Only things I’m in now are Perpetual Adoration and the Latin Mass. I’m not into the ‘ministry’ mantra.
Sometimes I think the single state is for ‘losers’-and I even got a letter once from a Sister in Italy who called it ‘a forced state’. So what else is there?
Not much… :nope:
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Salonika
Guest
barb finnegan:
Some people consider this because they think it is because we are too fussy (looking for the perfect spouse), are selfish (don’t want to share) or flawed (unable to share).
Some feel sorry for us because circumstances made it difficult or impossible to marry (eg we had parents to care for or the children of others eg our siblings, we were never asked or those who asked were even in their view were unsuitable for us.)
Some also think because our choice is innately selfish we are there to look after/babysit their children, take care of their/our parents. Most of us are prepared to do our share but is it fair to be expected to do all just because we are not married.
It can take some strength to remain positive about our choice to remain single in the middle of this, especially in our twenties and thirties when people bring up the issue of children.
I think that it is more healthy for us, and others, to consider ourselves as different and also for those who have made other choices not to demand/consider they have the right to know the reasons for our choice. For some people, of course, remaining single is the result of circumstances beyond their control.
Also its interesting that sometimes those who have chosen the vowed life get some of the criticisms as those who have remained single.
Yes, Barb there is certainly a view around held by some people that the single life is for “losers”.
Some people consider this because they think it is because we are too fussy (looking for the perfect spouse), are selfish (don’t want to share) or flawed (unable to share).
Some feel sorry for us because circumstances made it difficult or impossible to marry (eg we had parents to care for or the children of others eg our siblings, we were never asked or those who asked were even in their view were unsuitable for us.)
Some also think because our choice is innately selfish we are there to look after/babysit their children, take care of their/our parents. Most of us are prepared to do our share but is it fair to be expected to do all just because we are not married.
It can take some strength to remain positive about our choice to remain single in the middle of this, especially in our twenties and thirties when people bring up the issue of children.
I think that it is more healthy for us, and others, to consider ourselves as different and also for those who have made other choices not to demand/consider they have the right to know the reasons for our choice. For some people, of course, remaining single is the result of circumstances beyond their control.
Also its interesting that sometimes those who have chosen the vowed life get some of the criticisms as those who have remained single.
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barb_finnegan
Guest
I lived with my parents till they died-my father in 1985, my mother in 2004.
I have two sisters, the older is married [no kids-she and her husband decided at the outset not to have them. So no nieces or nephews, much less godchildren] and the other, my twin, is single like me.
My parents, particularly my mother, never ‘pushed’ me into marrying and having grandchildren. My mother didn’t really care if she ever became a grandma!
I didn’t date during my high school years-late 1960s and early 1970s. I thought of the religious life [Carmelites] from age 15 on, so I felt it would have been a waste of time to date a boy if I was considering the convent. From sophomore year on, though, the boys stopped teasing me and became more respectful. But that never resulted in being taken to the junior prom or senior ball.
I’ve kind of traveled a different path in my life-after a short business course post-high school, I went to work. My first job was in a bank for nearly twenty-five years. Since I still lived at home, I saved my money, got a car, and began my travels abroad.
The convent I was writing to since I was 15 turned me down when I turned 23. The Mother Prioress said that I ‘had a loyalty to the Order, but not a vocation’. I humbly accepted her decision; but as time went on, I wondered what I was going to do with my life, since the convent was closed to me.
To put it briefly, I did get involved in Church activities through the years such as Third Orders [Franciscans and Carmelites, in succession], reading at Mass, singing [choir, and later on, cantor], and prayer groups. Since I worked full-time, I didn’t do things like helping the poor or similar social works. Now the only things I do are Perpetual Adoration and going to the Latin Mass-I dropped the reading and singing activities.
I worked in other jobs after I got laid-off from my first one: another bank, then [temporary] insurance, and retail [the local Catholic bookstore, which I loved]. Now I’m living off my IRA because there’s really nothing I’m good at work-wise.
What am I getting at with all this? It’s just that I’m single because of both choice and circumstance. My parents became ill near the end of their lives, but I didn’t have to really be a caretaker for them. And I didn’t have to be an instant babysitter for my married sister because she never had kids!
I have two sisters, the older is married [no kids-she and her husband decided at the outset not to have them. So no nieces or nephews, much less godchildren] and the other, my twin, is single like me.
My parents, particularly my mother, never ‘pushed’ me into marrying and having grandchildren. My mother didn’t really care if she ever became a grandma!
I didn’t date during my high school years-late 1960s and early 1970s. I thought of the religious life [Carmelites] from age 15 on, so I felt it would have been a waste of time to date a boy if I was considering the convent. From sophomore year on, though, the boys stopped teasing me and became more respectful. But that never resulted in being taken to the junior prom or senior ball.
I’ve kind of traveled a different path in my life-after a short business course post-high school, I went to work. My first job was in a bank for nearly twenty-five years. Since I still lived at home, I saved my money, got a car, and began my travels abroad.
The convent I was writing to since I was 15 turned me down when I turned 23. The Mother Prioress said that I ‘had a loyalty to the Order, but not a vocation’. I humbly accepted her decision; but as time went on, I wondered what I was going to do with my life, since the convent was closed to me.
To put it briefly, I did get involved in Church activities through the years such as Third Orders [Franciscans and Carmelites, in succession], reading at Mass, singing [choir, and later on, cantor], and prayer groups. Since I worked full-time, I didn’t do things like helping the poor or similar social works. Now the only things I do are Perpetual Adoration and going to the Latin Mass-I dropped the reading and singing activities.
I worked in other jobs after I got laid-off from my first one: another bank, then [temporary] insurance, and retail [the local Catholic bookstore, which I loved]. Now I’m living off my IRA because there’s really nothing I’m good at work-wise.
What am I getting at with all this? It’s just that I’m single because of both choice and circumstance. My parents became ill near the end of their lives, but I didn’t have to really be a caretaker for them. And I didn’t have to be an instant babysitter for my married sister because she never had kids!
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Salonika
Guest
A couple of observations from catching up on this thread
- seems that there is almost a requirement from many people that those who choose to be single have to justisfy their choice and assure people that their life is not self-focussed - interesting there isn’t usually the same obligation on those who make other choices. You can also be (extremely) self-focused within marriage or other vocation.
- some ask single people for details and reasons for their choice that they would consider intrusive if they were asked about their marriage and then if we answer there are often judgments or more questions.
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Tradycja
Guest
Here is an excellent mp3 talk about the single vocation:
http://store.catholicism.org/flying-solo-on-the-chaste-single-life-in-the-world-mp3.html
http://store.catholicism.org/flying-solo-on-the-chaste-single-life-in-the-world-mp3.html
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elizabeth_anne_1
Guest
Just a few thoughts…I do not think it so important to justify my choice or to assure people that my life is not self-focused. More importantly I want to be a giving, loving, serving person. Part of that process is to realize in what ways I am self-focused and to squarely face ways I need the grace of God for my conversion. This would be true of anyone of us living the Christian life! Also, for me part of this process is to really *let go *of wanting to be considered worthy of respect. The Lord knows!
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