Single Woman Adoption Issue

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Dear tabsie3210

Have been thinking about your posts on this thread quite a bit today – have a suggestion you might like to consider. But first I’d like to say I am impressed with how you have dealt with our responses to your post. They are not the response of someone who included in her description of herself “a spoiled brat who’s 31, lives at home with her parents, and doesn’t want to take responsibility. I’m lazy, but worse, I’m a coward.”

In my view you’re being very wise to “use these boards as a sounding board when I know there’s something on my mind and I can’t properly articulate it.” But sometimes it isn’t easy to deal with the responses but one thing that has come through the thread is that we all care about you and want to be helpful.

My suggestion comes out of your comment “I’m called to do as a responsible adult who has much to give to young people who won’t get what I have without my help” and complements your started working with kids in a supervised setting.

Some children do not have many responsible and loving adults in their lives. Some do but the adult’s lifestyle means that they do not/cannot spend much time with them. Some children would love to have a “special" adult to spend time with. I guess the role is part godparent, part aunt, part friend.

You may already know of such children, if you don’t maybe those working with children in the supervised session may know some. Maybe your parish priest knows some families who fit this description and who appreciate you spending some quality time with their child or children.

It’s just a suggestion and remembering that often our suggestions say more about us than anything else, it mightn’t be for you.

I got very close to a friend’s middle son – people outside his family overlooked him giving their attention to his very bright older brother and very cute younger brother. At first he could hardly believe I wanted to play games with him, I wanted him to show me over the farm.

Best wishes

Salonika
 
Salonika –

**Have been thinking about your posts on this thread quite a bit today – have a suggestion you might like to consider. But first I’d like to say I am impressed with how you have dealt with our responses to your post. They are not the response of someone who included in her description of herself “a spoiled brat who’s 31, lives at home with her parents, and doesn’t want to take responsibility. I’m lazy, but worse, I’m a coward.”
**

I tend to be hard on myself, sometimes harder than I need to be according to my friends. I’d rather be harder on myself than necessary, though, so I motivate myself to change. I admit, I’ve matured a lot since I was in my mid-20’s and realized how self-centered I can be.

The best way I can explain is - I want to be the person that I am when I’m around people I love dearly. There are some people at my Church who so touch and motivate me and who are so lovely in everything they do or say, I want to be a reflection of their beauty. I want to be as good as they seem to think I am. When I find myself falling short, I get annoyed with myself. So, I do believe I’m cowardly and selfish and spoiled, but I pray that I can be better than that, because some people I get close to and they fill my heart up with love. That’s why I know there are saints alive and well today - God touched them and I know it just by being in their presence. So, that’s what I’m working toward.

**In my view you’re being very wise to “use these boards as a sounding board when I know there’s something on my mind and I can’t properly articulate it.” But sometimes it isn’t easy to deal with the responses but one thing that has come through the thread is that we all care about you and want to be helpful.
**

It’s obvious to me that everyone here wants to give me good advice and show me other viewpoints of my situation. A wise child listens to good council and weighs it. She’s the child who grows up to become a wise councelor herself. I may not necessarily agree with everything everyone here has said, but I’m very happy to hear their opinions so I see more than one narrow viewpoint, my own.

You can’t learn if someone doesn’t disagree with you - you have to be open to disagreement to communicate. That doesn’t mean I think I’m doing the mature thing all the time. I just want to do what’s best, and get as many ideas as I can.

**My suggestion comes out of your comment “I’m called to do as a responsible adult who has much to give to young people who won’t get what I have without my help” and complements your started working with kids in a supervised setting.

Some children do not have many responsible and loving adults in their lives. Some do but the adult’s lifestyle means that they do not/cannot spend much time with them. Some children would love to have a “special" adult to spend time with. I guess the role is part godparent, part aunt, part friend.

You may already know of such children, if you don’t maybe those working with children in the supervised session may know some. Maybe your parish priest knows some families who fit this description and who appreciate you spending some quality time with their child or children.
**

I hadn’t thought of that! Volunteering to sponsor a child as a godparent would be good. Or… you know, I totally forgot about Big Brothers/Big Sisters. I’m sure they or an organization similar would be a good place to start. It takes a lot of patience to raise a child, and I already had it in mind that I was going to join a Girl Scout troup and volunteer as an aid, if not an assistant troup leader. But there are many organizations that need extra hands, and since i’ve got time and I’ve got two hands…

**It’s just a suggestion and remembering that often our suggestions say more about us than anything else, it mightn’t be for you.
**

It’s a good suggestion and I’ll look into it, and into other ideas as well.

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut. It helps me a lot.
 
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