Singled Out

  • Thread starter Thread starter StratusRose
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

StratusRose

Guest
Single people are complaining how unfair they are being treated because they’re not married.

“To make that assumption that we don’t have as much invested in our personal lives as someone who may have a family or children is an incorrect assumption,” D.C. single Don Owens said.
 
40.png
StratusRose:
Single people are complaining how unfair they are being treated because they’re not married.

“To make that assumption that we don’t have as much invested in our personal lives as someone who may have a family or children is an incorrect assumption,” D.C. single Don Owens said.

[](http://www.nbc4.com/news/4181418/detail.html)
Click to expand...
I have experienced what is brought up in the article.

As a single person I am one of the first people approached when we have work that needs to be done after hours or on weekends.

Also when rif’s (reduction in workforce (fancy way to say lay offs)) come around my co-workers think it should be single people who get let go first, “after all they don’t have families to take care of”.

It is a bias that is out there but I live with it.
 
How true. It seems that most companies have this unwritten policy that foists extra work onto singles when married people with families come up with an excuse to get out of doing the work. Also, we don’t get any of the tax breaks given to married couples and families. Something even worse happened to a friend of mine: she finally adopted a baby from a foreign country because the American adoption agencies wouldn’t give her the time of day because she was single.

It’s as though those of us who remained single after a certain age are complete social misfits - that we’re single only because we didn’t work hard enough to find a spouse. In my local paper this very weekend, a columnist began her piece by stating that our city, rated the worst place in the country for singles, really didn’t merit that designation. Since I agree completely with that statement, I read on with interest, only to find that she spent the rest of her article bitterly criticizing singles for “whining” and sitting on our lazy butts instead of going out & taking advantage of social opportunities - in short, that we have no one but ourselves to blame for being single and unhappy. Fortunately for her, I had too much to do yesterday to e-mail her a blasting reply.

Given the rate of divorce in this country, even among us Catholics, I’d say that an awful lot of people get married for the wrong reasons. Maybe they’re really jealous of us because we had the sense and the courage to keep from rushing into a commitment just because we were lonely or heard our biological clocks ticking away.
 
I agree with the article and above posts, but one thing I haven’t heard mentioned is this: a lot of these married co-workers who don’t work late, how many of them have put in the long hours and extra work to get into a position they don’t have to do it anymore? Just a thought.
 
40.png
wabrams:
I agree with the article and above posts, but one thing I haven’t heard mentioned is this: a lot of these married co-workers who don’t work late, how many of them have put in the long hours and extra work to get into a position they don’t have to do it anymore? Just a thought.
Click to expand...
Well let me see, in my case they are my co-workers. Actually I am one of the technical leads and am over loaded with my normal tasks as it is. I already work over to get my work done with out adding the extra tasks that are requested becasue I am “single and have no life”.

Just becuase someone is married does not mean that they have a position or worked to a position where they don’t have to work hard anymore.
 
40.png
ByzCath:
Well let me see, in my case they are my co-workers. Actually I am one of the technical leads and am over loaded with my normal tasks as it is. I already work over to get my work done with out adding the extra tasks that are requested becasue I am “single and have no life”.

Just becuase someone is married does not mean that they have a position or worked to a position where they don’t have to work hard anymore.
Click to expand...
I don’t disagree with you; heck I get the “you’re single so you can stay late” line all the time. From time to time I do see the young singles complain about putting in the extra hours when a lot of the married ones who don’t b/c they put their extra time in when they were the single ones.
 
The same thing applies to married people too, dudes…my wife is pregnant, so she doesn’t have the energy to work late anymore, and her boss is ticked at this. He resents the fact that she is pregnant and is not as productive, and won’t be after she’s a mom. Family always comes first.
 
I learned a long time ago not to let these type of comments from marrieds bother me. Most of these comment come from jealously due to the freedom to do things when I want to.

For some reason, married life never appealed to me and (except for one brief moment that I am glad I did not pursue) have never desired to be married.

I am only now beginning to realized why that may be so. If my realizations are true, I will be changing careers (and vocation from the single life) in about a year.

PF
 
I was single until I was 27. The years I worked after college, I will agree with the article on almost all points. I experienced many of the things mentioned. My two older daughters that are out working and are singe mention things to me all the time that are along the same lines Not much has changed ina ll these years.

I would say that employers may need to adjust things if 40% of the work force is single.
 
I’ve been single for twenty years with fifteen of those years as a single mom and I have seen discrimination for it the entire time. It is really unfair and it is really hard to prove. I work in the construction industry and the contractors and the unions always expect the single folks to just up and leave anytime they acquire an out-of-area job. I refuse to go and so I end up getting laid off and my career has suffered immensely as a result. The married workers are rarely expected to go out of town for their work. It’s just another one of the many workplace injustices out there.

As a single woman I am always expected to do the cooking or cleaning in the organizations I belong to, as well, while the married folks are never asked to lift a finger. I always make a point of asking if one of the single males would help me with the tasks or just do it themselves!! Then I’m viewed as a troublemaker. Oh well, somebody’s gotta do the dirty work!!!
 
Never mind the workplace…Has anyone ever noticed that singles–especially older, never-married, no children singles–are the most forgotten group within the Church?

If your parish is like mine (fairly good sized, BTW)–we have ministries and fellowship groups for single parents, for the divorced, for the widowed, for young college-aged and “career” (late 20s-30s) folks. There are programs for young singles who may be discerning vocations. Sometimes there are prayers in the general intercessions for some singles…for example, for the widowed that they will be comforted, for single parents that they will be able to meet the demands of raising a family, for the young that they might consider vocations.

But there’s NOTHING for folks like me–older, never married, with no family.

Does the Church think we don’t exist? In most parishes, there’s probably only two or three people who fit this category, and I realize they really can’t offer anything for a few people. I don’t really fit in to the other groups. Too old for the young career singles (that’s more of a “let’s help them get paired off” group) and too young for the seniors group. I don’t fit in that well with some of the women’s groups–they’re all talking about their husbands (or ex’s), their kids, and their grandkids. Can’t contribute to the conversation there, haven’t been there, haven’t done that. I don’t belong in single parents’ groups or divorced singles groups. I don’t belong in a vocations groups–you can’t even find vocations for older women anyway! At most, once you’re 40, you’re not wanted. (I was raised Protestant, so I never had any call to a vocation when I was younger.)

It sure would be nice for once to hear an general intercession prayer for all us older singles, those of us well into our 40s and 50s and beyond…“For the older and never-married singles…that although they may not have families of their own in this life, may they always know that they have a place in the Family of Christ, we pray to the Lord.”

Okay…I’m done ranting.
 
40.png
WhatMeWorry:
It sure would be nice for once to hear an general intercession prayer for all us older singles, those of us well into our 40s and 50s and beyond…“For the older and never-married singles…that although they may not have families of their own in this life, may they always know that they have a place in the Family of Christ, we pray to the Lord.”

Okay…I’m done ranting.
Click to expand...
we did this in almost these exact words in my former Ohio parish and got lots of criticism for demeaning and putting down older singles and implying that their place in the Family of Christ is somewhere to the rear. can’t please everybody. In every parish I have ever worked in all adult education, social, outreach and other programs were open to all adults of the parish, including those intended for parents since there are plenty of single parents, and we took care to make that clear. As a matter of fact, older adults, single, widowed or married are the best attendees at such programs and events in my experience.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top