Singlehood as vocation?

[TiggerS]

vocationnetwork.org/articles/show/180#
What is a vocation?
Many people use the word *vocation (from the Latin vocare, *meaning “to call”) in reference to the call to be a priest, sister, or brother. However, the Catholic understanding of vocation is much broader: every baptized person has a vocation–a call–to love and serve God. How you choose to live out that vocation is what each person must discern. Some feel called to live as single or married laypeople; others choose consecrated life and join a secular institute or religious community (as sisters, priests, or brothers); still others choose ordination as deacons or diocesan priests.

therealpresence.org/cgi-bin/getdefinition.pl
Fr John A Hardon SJ Dctionary - Real Presence Association

**VOCATION. **A call from God to a distinctive state of life, in which the person can reach holiness. The Second Vatican Council made it plain that there is a “Universal call vocatio] to holiness in the Church” (Lumen Gentium, 39). (Etym. Latin vocatio, a calling, summoning; from vocare, to call.)

 

[TiggerS]

Catholic Catechism:
**2013 **“All Christians in any state or walk of life are called to the fullness of Christian life and to the perfection of charity.” All are called to holiness: “Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

In order to reach this perfection the faithful should use the strength dealt out to them by Christ’s gift, so that . . . doing the will of the Father in everything, they may wholeheartedly devote themselves to the glory of God and to the service of their neighbor. Thus the holiness of the People of God will grow in fruitful abundance, as is clearly shown in the history of the Church through the lives of so many saints. **940 **“The characteristic of the lay state being a life led in the midst of the world and of secular affairs, lay people are called by God to make of their apostolate, through the vigor of their Christian spirit, a leaven in the world” (*AA *2 § 2).

A calling from God is a vocation. We are called by God in Baptism to holiness and into a specific state in life: Marriage, Holy Orders, the consecrated life in one of its forms, or the lay state which is a distinctive state in life in The Church with its own unique mission.

 

[bilop]

Catholic Catechism:
**2013 **“All Christians in any state or walk of life are called to the fullness of Christian life and to the perfection of charity.” All are called to holiness: “Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

In order to reach this perfection the faithful should use the strength dealt out to them by Christ’s gift, so that . . . doing the will of the Father in everything, they may wholeheartedly devote themselves to the glory of God and to the service of their neighbor. Thus the holiness of the People of God will grow in fruitful abundance, as is clearly shown in the history of the Church through the lives of so many saints. **940 **“The characteristic of the lay state being a life led in the midst of the world and of secular affairs, lay people are called by God to make of their apostolate, through the vigor of their Christian spirit, a leaven in the world” (*AA *2 § 2).

A calling from God is a vocation. We are called by God in Baptism to holiness and into a specific state in life: Marriage, Holy Orders, the consecrated life in one of its forms, or the lay state which is a distinctive state in life in The Church with its own unique mission.

Again, you are confusing a universal call to holiness, regardless of state-of-life, with a specific vocation.

Would you consider widowhood a vocation?

God Bless

 

[TiggerS]

Again, you are confusing a universal call to holiness, regardless of state-of-life, with a specific vocation.

Would you consider widowhood a vocation?

God Bless

Thank you very much for your comments and question. The confusion or difference of opinion is, I think, the definition of “vocation” to which I have looked to what The Church is saying. I think all the previous links I have posted do support my own position re “vocation” and by consulting these sound and reliable Catholic sources, the curious and those seeking the position of The Church re what is a “vocation” per se can refer to these links and do their own reseaching, if they wish, to arrive at their own concept of “vocation” and based on sound and reliable Catholic resources with links I have previously posted, including Church Documents.

Widows -New Advent Encylopedia: newadvent.org/cathen/15617c.htm

Therese Ivers JCL (Canon Lawyer) Consecrated Widows/Widower doihaveavocation.com/blog/archives/523

About Therese Ivers: doihaveavocation.com/blog/about

For those who may be widowed, I have nothing but compassion and there are support groups available in some diocese. To be widowed can be just as crushing as discovering that one has a lifelong illness or disability, or some other serious suffering in life. My focus in this thread, however, has been what The Church teaches about “vocation” per se. Suffering in the course of one’s journey can be a tremendous cross permitted by God. To understand Catholic theology and teaching on “The Permissive Will of God” and Divine Providence is another subject.
rcspiritualdirection.com/blog/2011/06/20/how-can-i-know-the-will-of-god-in-my-life-part-i-of-ii?utm_source=Catholic+Spiritual+Direction+blog&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=95a044d9e4-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN

There are a few references in the CCC to The Permissive Will of God.

 

[TiggerS]

For any interested:

Catholic Catechisem (CCC) and theology of "The Permissive Will of God"
Link to Catholic Catechism:
vatican.va/archive/ccc_css/archive/catechism/ccc_toc.htm

**324 **The fact that God permits physical and even moral evil is a mystery that God illuminates by his Son Jesus Christ who died and rose to vanquish evil. Faith gives us the certainty that God would not permit an evil if he did not cause a good to come from that very evil, by ways that we shall fully know only in eternal life.

**412 **But why did God not prevent the first man from sinning? St. Leo the Great responds, “Christ’s inexpressible grace gave us blessings better than those the demon’s envy had taken away.” And St. Thomas Aquinas wrote, “There is nothing to prevent human nature’s being raised up to something greater, even after sin; God permits evil in order to draw forth some greater good. Thus St. Paul says, ‘Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more’; and the Exsultet sings, ‘O happy fault,. . . which gained for us so great a Redeemer!’”

**311 **Angels and men, as intelligent and free creatures, have to journey toward their ultimate destinies by their free choice and preferential love. They can therefore go astray. Indeed, they have sinned. Thus has moral evil, incommensurably more harmful than physical evil, entered the world. God is in no way, directly or indirectly, the cause of moral evil. He permits it, however, because he respects the freedom of his creatures and, mysteriously, knows how to derive good from it: For almighty God. . ., because he is supremely good, would never allow any evil whatsoever to exist in his works if he were not so all-powerful and good as to cause good to emerge from evil itself.

 

[sw85]

I’m not Catholic but I’m considering. One thing is that I’m a single woman. I have only dated once out of perceived peer pressure and I don’t know, but doubt, if I will ever do it again. I have no natural compulsion towards marriage or children. I am most at peace at prayer, by myself. I am charitable and kind towards others - I’ve put myself into debt giving what I have away. And that’s how I feel most loving and loved.

Obviously if I remain single (very likely) I will be celibate. But discussing my feelings about Catholicism with my family (atheists and Protestants) gets a lot of laughs about my singlehood and the idea that the Church only likes single women if they’re nuns; otherwise you have to marry and have a gaggle of kids. The Anglican church I attend now is theologically conservative yet respects my feelings. I don’t see how my marital status affects my spirituality unless I’m engaging in fornication or adultery. In fact I see remaining single as perhaps a holier way to be - no offense to the married!

Hello Nabooru,

I believe the Church does recognize that some people are called to the “generous single life.” Unfortunately there’s not a lot of institutional support out there for these people, but I suspect this is because of the increasing emphasis on lay ministries and because this is a vocation to which many people are called either involuntarily or out of introspectiveness/introvertedness.

If you were to join the Church, this might be a good place for you to start a new sort of ministry. Spend some time writing about this particular vocation, which is heavily neglected. Organize groups in your parish or diocese. Etc.

 

[TiggerS]

The “universal call to holiness” is just what it states - a “universal” call by God. Certainly every baptized person also receives a very personal and unique call or vocation from God as to how that holiness is to be achieved in a particular or distinctive state in life, or way of life, in The Church whatever it may be. It is that person’s personal vocation and call, invitation, from God. The circumstances and situations of an individual within that particular state in life are the work of Divine Providence.
Some personally conclude that only Holy Orders, Marriage, or the consecrated state in its various forums can be a “vocation”; thus, it seems, some are left without a “vocation” in life and the lay state as a distinctive state in life in The Chuch, which it is, seems not to exist contrary to Church teaching. There is the transitory call to the lay state for those who are still discerning and there is also the permanent lay state for those who may feel so called and The Church states this quite clearly for us. See links in my previous posts.

 

[exoflare]

Norseman, would you go so far as to say that it’s sinful to deliberately lead a single life with no intention of ever marrying or taking vows?

 

[TiggerS]

Hello Nabooru,

I believe the Church does recognize that some people are called to the “generous single life.” Unfortunately there’s not a lot of institutional support out there for these people, but I suspect this is because of the increasing emphasis on lay ministries and because this is a vocation to which many people are called either involuntarily or out of introspectiveness/introvertedness.

If you were to join the Church, this might be a good place for you to start a new sort of ministry. Spend some time writing about this particular vocation, which is heavily neglected. Organize groups in your parish or diocese. Etc.

because of the increasing emphasis on lay ministries and because this is a vocation to which many people are called either involuntarily or out of introspectiveness/introvertedness.

A possibility, but not necessarily. Faults of personality can find their way into any and all vocations in life and do. “God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called”.

But thank you for raising the opening post and responding and with an excellent suggestion - I was thinking about sending a PM to Nabooru and started one yesterday, but was diverted. In Catholicism we are a family and just as in any family, we can have differences of opinion. “In essentials, unity. In non essentials, liberty. And in all things love”. We do care about each other very much even as we discuss/argue at times over points of view and especially on Catholic discussion sites. In eternity, I very much doubt we will be judged on our points of view, rather on how we have loved in the course of our journey.

 

[barb_finnegan]

If you want, Barb, you can write to the Pontifical Council for The Laity - website:
laici.va/content/laici/en.html
There is also an email address on the website
Contact us

Pontifical Council for the Laity - A Dicastery of the Roman Curia at the service of the Laity
Palazzo San Calisto a Trastevere (Piazza San Calisto, 16 00153 Roma)

Postal Address: Pontifical Council for the Laity - Palazzo San Calisto - 00120 Vatican City State
Phone: +39 06 69869300 Fax: +39 06 69887214 Email: info@laici.va

Tigger

Thanks for the info, Tigger; but what good would that do?

They probably are buried in correspondence (email and snail mail) from all over the world!

I’m just a low woman on the Church totem pole-I’m nobody! They have more important fish to fry…

 

[dimentichisimai]

OP, start by fulfilling your ultimate vocation: loving God and His Bride the Church. Once you make the journey to Catholicism, then, so long as you continue to be open to God’s call, He will lead you to your vocation–which may very well be a consecrated single life.

 

[Norseman82]

Norseman, would you go so far as to say that it’s sinful to deliberately lead a single life with no intention of ever marrying or taking vows?

I really honestly don’t know, as it would depend on the motivation. If it is to lead a deliberately unchaste single life, then there is definitely sin involved there. Additionally, I did hear one lady state that getting married would “interfere with her sports’ leagues”. Also, there was someone (not Catholic) who wrote that the person who refuses to marry is robbing someone else of a spouse (even though this person is not Catholic, I can see the sense in that). However, what I see in modern-day Catholicism is ignorance about what the Church officially teaches about the “state of life” vocations. I do feel that those who are using the so-called “vocation to (unconsecrated) single life” could be “playing with fire” if they use it as a premise to discourage marriage or ordained/religious/consecrated life and make it harder for those seeking spouses to find one.

 

[TiggerS]

Thanks for the info, Tigger; but what good would that do?

They probably are buried in correspondence (email and snail mail) from all over the world!

I’m just a low woman on the Church totem pole-I’m nobody! They have more important fish to fry…

Hi Barb - I too am too just a lowly everyday woman, just a face in the pews as it were, a celibate woman under the privately vowed evangelical counsels and have no idea at all whether if corresponding with th PCL would do any good at all. But I have deliberately chosen a hidden and nonedescript way of life. I have my own rule of life and my own distinct apostolate outside of the institutional Church (i.e. no formal ‘ministry’ within The Church) and in response to a call and vocation from The Lord - and for the sake of The Kingdom. This has been affirmed by spiritual direction (ongoing) and by our Archbishop in writing at the time I made perpetual private vows deciding against formal consecration. I treasure that letter on diocesan letterhead.

An email or snail mail, or both, may just disappear into the maze that can be the Vatican Offices. One can only try.

Many years ago now I sent a telegram (in those days) to CBS Records to really well known pop singer of the day and just for something to do while standing in a line-up in a postal office. It read simply “Loved your last album” and signed my Christian name only (no address or phone number), no surname. I was a fan in those days. I never expected a response whatsoever, it was just something to do. To my absolute amazement his Management Service tracked me down through the post office. The post office would not give them my address nor phone number since I had put it in the not for publication section, but they said they would pass on to me a phone number for me to phone if I chose to do so, which they did, and from the his Management Services. It so happened apparently that just as my telegram arrived at CBS, he was there when a mountain of mail arrived and he picked out my telegram randomly and probably like me, just for something to do - and asked his management services to find out who I was. On both our parts it seemed just a whim of the moment.

We can only do what we can and then leave the results up to The Lord since results are His Work always and at all times. In the Parable of The Sower, we note that the sower is not asked to be selective and quite careful about where he casts his seeds and to choose only good soil - he is asked only to cast the seeds and to know that some may germinate - others, and for various reasons - may not. And just before my priest theologican director and confessor died around 20 years ago now, he said to me “Go through your life, Girl, and merrily cast your seeds. And dont you hang around to see what happens, willya?” It is the spirit, I much later realized, of the Parable of The Sower.

We note too that his instruction is : “Go into the whole world and preach The Gospel to every creature, he that is baptised shall be saved and he that believes not, shall be condemned”. We are to preach The Gospel to every creature - that is our brief from Him. Saving or condemning is not, although our very real hope is that our preaching will not fall flat on its face. I very much like what St Francis of Assisi said “preach The Gospel, and with words if necessary”. We are called to be a certain type of quite unique human being - and “they have persecuted Me and they will persecute you” Persecution it would seem(and there are all kinds of persecution) is almost a criteria of discipleship and not to be overly alarmed if it happens. And it does, and from any and all quarters.

Our society is very much result, status and standing, orientated, but it is not The Way of The Lord, although it can creep into Church circles for sure. He was incarnated as a poor, humble and vulnerable baby, nondescript in His day, and remained in that state for all his life: poor, humble, vulnerable - of no account socially. He was, in fact, quite counter-cultural to both his society and his religion. His life ended in apparent complete and utter disgrace. He was executed as a complete social criminal, his friends abandoned Him completely except for John, His mother and a couple of women - all else ran. “Take up your cross and follow Me”

Results are always His Work for His Reasons - we are asked only to labour in His Vineyard. Of course, our desire is in good results and for Him, but there is no distress for those close to Him if one’s labours fall flat on their face and this can happen. Humanly, of course, we may be disappointed even frustrated and unhappy about result, but no lasting distress and we simply go on casting our seeds, working in His Vineyard, and with our trust in Him.

I am wondering, Barb, if you have a spiritual director. It would be really helpful to you if you do. One can very often find one by ringing diocesan offices who can give contact numbers. Failing this, one can ask one’s pp or Orders of religious, brothers and priests, nuns, if they undertake spiritual direction. Some do.

God bless and keep you close…Tigger

 

[elizabeth_anne_1]

I like what Fr. Benedict Goreschel has to say about the chaste, single life in “The Courage to Be Chaste:”

“No one has to apologize for being single. Like every human situation apart from sin, singleness can be a call to discipleship. If you find yourself apologizing for being single, that is your problem and non one else’s.” (pg 34)

He also says, “Many single people, aware of their private reasons for remaining single, feel inferior because the real reasons are often not flattering. (They ought to think about the reasons some have for getting married.)” (pg 77)

I am a single, chaste, devoted lay woman. Religious life would have been in my eyes my ideal vocation, but due to a mental illness I developed in the convent this is not my vocation. Other forms of official consecrated life may also prove to be a “no” because of my illness. At this time I do not sense the Lord asking me to look into these other forms, but I am not closed to the idea.

I have no reason to apologize for being “single for the Lord” just as I am. I am blessed beyond measure and my treasure is not of this world.

 

[Nec5]

Hi Barb - I too am too just a lowly everyday woman, just a face in the pews as it were, a celibate woman under the privately vowed evangelical counsels and have no idea at all whether if corresponding with th PCL would do any good at all. But I have deliberately chosen a hidden and nonedescript way of life. I have my own rule of life and my own distinct apostolate outside of the institutional Church (i.e. no formal ‘ministry’ within The Church) and in response to a call and vocation from The Lord - and for the sake of The Kingdom. This has been affirmed by spiritual direction (ongoing) and by our Archbishop in writing at the time I made perpetual private vows deciding against formal consecration. I treasure that letter on diocesan letterhead.

An email or snail mail, or both, may just disappear into the maze that can be the Vatican Offices. One can only try.

Many years ago now I sent a telegram (in those days) to CBS Records to really well known pop singer of the day and just for something to do while standing in a line-up in a postal office. It read simply “Loved your last album” and signed my Christian name only (no address or phone number), no surname. I was a fan in those days. I never expected a response whatsoever, it was just something to do. To my absolute amazement his Management Service tracked me down through the post office. The post office would not give them my address nor phone number since I had put it in the not for publication section, but they said they would pass on to me a phone number for me to phone if I chose to do so, which they did, and from the his Management Services. It so happened apparently that just as my telegram arrived at CBS, he was there when a mountain of mail arrived and he picked out my telegram randomly and probably like me, just for something to do - and asked his management services to find out who I was. On both our parts it seemed just a whim of the moment.

We can only do what we can and then leave the results up to The Lord since results are His Work always and at all times. In the Parable of The Sower, we note that the sower is not asked to be selective and quite careful about where he casts his seeds and to choose only good soil - he is asked only to cast the seeds and to know that some may germinate - others, and for various reasons - may not. And just before my priest theologican director and confessor died around 20 years ago now, he said to me “Go through your life, Girl, and merrily cast your seeds. And dont you hang around to see what happens, willya?” It is the spirit, I much later realized, of the Parable of The Sower.

Our society is very much result, status and standing, orientated, but it is not The Way of The Lord, although it can creep into Church circles for sure. He was incarnated as a poor, humble and vulnerable baby, nondescript in His day, and remained in that state for all his life: poor, humble, vulnerable - of no account socially. He was, in fact, quite counter-cultural to both his society and his religion. His life ended in apparent complete and utter disgrace. He was executed as a complete social criminal, his friends abandoned Him completely except for John, His mother and a couple of women - all else ran. “Take up your cross and follow Me”

Results are always His Work for His Reasons - we are asked only to labour in His Vineyard. Of course, our desire is in good results and for Him, but there is no distress for those close to Him if one’s labours fall flat on their face and this can happen. Humanly, of course, we may be disappointed even frustrated and unhappy about result, but no lasting distress and we simply go on casting our seeds, working in His Vineyard, and with our trust in Him.

I am wondering, Barb, if you have a spiritual director. It would be really helpful to you if you do. One can very often find one by ringing diocesan offices who can give contact numbers. Failing this, one can ask one’s pp or Orders of religious, brothers and priests, nuns, if they undertake spiritual direction. Some do.

God bless and keep you close…Tigger

There’s actually a great deal of wisdom in those words of yours, and they don’t just apply to the specific issue of vocations. They also apply to our experiences here on earth.

 

[TiggerS]

Hi Nec5 -
Thank you! I really was responding to comments from Barb Finnegan and any and all vocations are always in the context of our life here on earth. Vocation is a call from God to a specific lifestyle here on earth. A personal vocation and call from God is the call, the situations and experiences within that personal vocation and call are the work of Divine Providence here on earth and the works of Divine Providence are spelt out for us in The Gospels.

 

[TiggerS]

I like what Fr. Benedict Goreschel has to say about the chaste, single life in “The Courage to Be Chaste:”

“No one has to apologize for being single. Like every human situation apart from sin, singleness can be a call to discipleship. If you find yourself apologizing for being single, that is your problem and non one else’s.” (pg 34)

He also says, “Many single people, aware of their private reasons for remaining single, feel inferior because the real reasons are often not flattering. (They ought to think about the reasons some have for getting married.)” (pg 77)

I am a single, chaste, devoted lay woman. Religious life would have been in my eyes my ideal vocation, but due to a mental illness I developed in the convent this is not my vocation. Other forms of official consecrated life may also prove to be a “no” because of my illness. At this time I do not sense the Lord asking me to look into these other forms, but I am not closed to the idea.

I have no reason to apologize for being “single for the Lord” just as I am. I am blessed beyond measure and my treasure is not of this world.

I have seen this book by Fr Goroeschel recommended in various places and he is a respected Catholic author. I have just ordered a book by a respected Jesuit (on the Ignatian Exercises and the Will of God, recommended by my Spiritual Director) and am on restricted income, Fr Goroeschel’s book will be my next purchase.

Like you, and as I am a woman vowed privately to the evangelical counsels, I do keep my mind open to a further call to consecrated life. Those under private vows may commute their private vows to a greater good, but not a lesser (Canon Law). Fr Hardon in his article under the heading of Religious Life has a chapter titled " The Apostolate in Every Vocation to Follow Christ". His work is available online: therealpresence.org/archives/Religious_Life/Religious_Life_033.htm

Fr John A Hardon SJ (Jesuit) is another respected and recommended Catholic author. He mentions also the single celibate chaste state as a potential call and vocation from God in the above linked Chapter. Those who state that the single lay celibate chaste state is never a vocation and call from God are swimming against the tide of something taught by The Church even pre V2 by Pius XII I think it was - and I can quote with link if necessary. No need for those thus called to feel a need at all to apologize in any way.

I have no reason to apologize for being “single for the Lord” just as I am. I am blessed beyond measure and my treasure is not of this world

God at times not only indicates His Will through positive signs, but also through negative signs such as an illness. This is the Catholic theology of Divine Providence and also of The Permissive Will of God. I quoted in this connection previously from the CCC. There is an excellent book available online and a classic from the 16th century. A classic of Catholic spiritual theology. “Abandonment to Divine Providence” by Jean Pierre de Caussade. It is available online at CCEL.

 

[TiggerS]

There’s actually a great deal of wisdom in those words of yours, and they don’t just apply to the specific issue of vocations. They also apply to our experiences here on earth.

A more careful read of your post (my apologies) - I am in somethng of a rush and rather the norm - informs me that you are absolutely correct, spot on:thumbsup:. The Gospel is a call to every single creature of The Lord of which we are all, and without exemptions, and most especially to all the baptised no matter where they may be in discernment: decided or still discerning how they are to live out their baptismal call. And i the main, and most important, of what I wrote in the post to which you refer was merely something of a personal reflection on The Gospel.
God bless and hold you close…Tigger

 

[TiggerS]

Quoting Norseman:
I do feel that those who are using …edit by BT…the single life" could be “playing with fire” if they use it as a premise to discourage marriage or ordained/religious/consecrated life

Spot on The Marital state and Holy Orders are Sacraments - and consecrated life in all its forms are very special, holy and unique states in life. The Church is in dire need of holy and sound vocations to these states. To discourage interest in same would be very wrong.
Doubltess without holy and sound vocations to the Sacrament of Marriage and the raising of children as a holy obligation from God to parents and to pass on to them the Catholic Faith as taught to us by The Church, our situation re priests and religious can only deteriorate as a very real possibility and potential. The Church, always very wise and gifted to be so by The Holy Spirit, is spot on in our day in advocating holy and sound vocations to the Sacrament of Marriage for one only.

 

[TiggerS]

It is entirely valid for anyone to quote their personal experiences, and they are absolutely valid as personal experiences. Personal experience by its very nature is always limited. Anything advocated as a teaching of The Church ideally does quote from sound Catholic sources to support what they are putting forward as a teaching of The Church.

A good article, simply written with sound quoting, from Catholic Resource Centre and a reliable Catholic resource that is well respected. The article is titled :

Celibacy for the Kingdom & the Fulfillment of Human Sexuality catholiceducation.org/articles/sexuality/se0114.html

(Blessed) John Paul II demonstrates that, far from devaluing sexuality and marriage, true Christian celibacy actually points to their ultimate fulfillment. In fact, we simply can’t understand the Christian meaning of sex and marriage unless we understand the Christian meaning of celibacy

Excerpt only from text:
Marriage, sex, and the celibate vocation are much more interrelated than we might first think. They’re also interdependent. When each is given proper esteem and respect, the delicate balance among them is maintained.
On the other hand, if any of the three (marriage, sex, or celibacy) is devalued, overvalued, or otherwise disrespected, the others inevitably suffer. It’s no coincidence, for example, that the sexual revolution brought both a dramatic rise in divorce and a dramatic decline in vocations to the priesthood and religious life. Nor is it any coincidence that historical misinterpretations of the celibate vocation have led to a disparagement of sex and marriage.
All such error stems from failure to deal with the tension of paradox. To say that celibacy demonstrates the fulfillment of sexuality is not a contradiction of terms. It’s a paradox. There’s something mentally torturous about reconciling the (seemingly) irreconcilable poles of paradox. So, to avoid the discomfort we focus on one aspect of a truth and end up denying others.
But it’s precisely by pressing into the tension of paradox that we discover the fullness of truth. We must find our home in that tension. Only then can we properly understand the profound interrelationship among marriage, sex, and the celibate vocation. Let’s press in.

Go to above link to read entire text