Sinners being forgiven at the last minute

[martinezmarco296]

I am struggling with a deep situation that I need advice. I had a person do wrong to me, the wrong affected my life my family life in a serious manner and it was all based on lies. The person maliciously made some unfounded accusation. After a few month of being in a dark place I prayed and prayed and asked God to help me forgive this person and I would leave it up to him to deal with her.
My question is Gad is love and forgiveness, the good book says if you repent god will forgive you. So my question is if a person does something terrible to another person and they repent and ask for forgiveness they get forgiven.
I am struggling to understand how this fair, how is is this just to the person that had their life destroyed and now the person who destroys it repents at the last minute and they get forgiven. What happens to people like me that did not do anything wrong and had their life turned upside down by a liar, an evil person.
Based on the good book if we do not follow the commandments and gods teaching we will not be saved. The loop hole is if we repent at the last minute we get saved I am not sure I understand. How that is this just for those follow the good book and gods teaching for all our lives and yet a person that just repents at the last minute they get saved? Not sure I understand.
I would appreciate any help in understanding.

 

[Vico]

I am struggling with a deep situation that I need advice. I had a person do wrong to me, the wrong affected my life my family life in a serious manner and it was all based on lies. The person maliciously made some unfounded accusation. After a few month of being in a dark place I prayed and prayed and asked God to help me forgive this person and I would leave it up to him to deal with her.
My question is Gad is love and forgiveness, the good book says if you repent god will forgive you. So my question is if a person does something terrible to another person and they repent and ask for forgiveness they get forgiven.
I am struggling to understand how this fair, how is is this just to the person that had their life destroyed and now the person who destroys it repents at the last minute and they get forgiven. What happens to people like me that did not do anything wrong and had their life turned upside down by a liar, an evil person.
Based on the good book if we do not follow the commandments and gods teaching we will not be saved. The loop hole is if we repent at the last minute we get saved I am not sure I understand. How that is this just for those follow the good book and gods teaching for all our lives and yet a person that just repents at the last minute they get saved? Not sure I understand.
I would appreciate any help in understanding.

All sin has temporal consequences and there are also eternal consequences for mortal sin. Absolution removes the eternal consequences but may not remove all of the temporal consequences.

Catechism

1473 The forgiveness of sin and restoration of communion with God entail the remission of the eternal punishment of sin, but temporal punishment of sin remains. While patiently bearing sufferings and trials of all kinds and, when the day comes, serenely facing death, the Christian must strive to accept this temporal punishment of sin as a grace. He should strive by works of mercy and charity, as well as by prayer and the various practices of penance, to put off completely the “old man” and to put on the "new man."84

 

[mrsdizzyd]

My question is Gad is love and forgiveness, the good book says if you repent god will forgive you. So my question is if a person does something terrible to another person and they repent and ask for forgiveness they get forgiven.
I am struggling to understand how this fair, how is is this just to the person that had their life destroyed and now the person who destroys it repents at the last minute and they get forgiven. What happens to people like me that did not do anything wrong and had their life turned upside down by a liar, an evil person.

If that person sincerely repents they may be forgiven, yes.

But, forgiveness does not mean they are off the hook. They would still have to deal with an damage that was caused by their actions.

 

[brent68]

Take a look at the Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard, Mt. 20:1-16

 

[St.Bede]

That’s exactly what I have in mind.

Also, about the servant who begged his master to give him more time to pay the material amount of money he owed, and the master decided to just cleared all his debt. Then later on, he saw his fellow servant who owed him a much insignificant amount of money but he refuse to pardon him. The time the master learnt about what had happened, he was punished for what he did in the end.

 

[TheLittleLady]

Also the parable of the Prodigal Son.

 

[Michael16]

I’ve had to deal with a similar situation myself. The basic thing is: You forgive and move on. If there’s no repentance in the one who did you wrong; there’s nothing saying you have to stick around that person and give them another chance to do it to you again.

Forgiving the other person, like it says in the Our Father; means we get God’s forgiveness. If the one who did you wrong doesn’t repent: Oh well. It’s on them; not your problem.

 

[Lea101]

A priest was bringing up a similar situation and his conclusion was basically: we all have different capacities for God’s love. Like cups. Not all of us have the same size. But God’s asking us to fill the whole cup with love.

So for a terrible sinner, an earnest prayer may be all he needs. For someone who isn’t that terrible, more will be expected of him. (unless he repents for not doing enough).

 

[martinezmarco296]

Thanks for all the answers so far. I would like to hear more, I struggle with thinking that I live my life for God, live by his word, commandments, his good book and yet some sinner at the last minute of his or her life can repent. I understand I need to move on I need to let go its just been difficult and not something that’s been easy I am getting better with forgiving the individual however for example Psalm 40-13-17 it speaks to a side of God that will defend us and help us and it also says all who seek god will rejoice. I am struggling internally I would be conflicted to see a person that did so much harm when alive in heaven not sure I understand.

Another way to put it is serial killers truly repent at the last minute before they die by natural causes or are put to death by the court. Would they be saved? How would his victims feel if they see their killer in heaven with them rejoicing in the salvation.

 

[OKComputer]

I struggle with this too. I get what everyone is saying, and I agree with them. I’ve been forgiven so they will be too. But it’s so hard to accept when people mistreat your family. I shudder to think that an ex boyfriend of my sister (who slapped her around) will be in Heaven. But I have to admit that if I can be forgiven for my sins, he’ll be forgiven for his too.

Deathbed conversions never sat well with me either. It’s nice when someone shows redemption but if you’ve lived a life of sin then find faith in the last minute, it does seem unfair to the rest of us. Again, I’m not saying it’s right, just that I understand where you are coming from.

 

[St.Bede]

I’ve gone through what you’re experiencing now. And I tell you, sometimes the process can be very gruelling. But as long as you have a willing heart to forgive, God will grant you the grace to succeed. Be persistent in your prayer and never give up. Remember, Rome was not built in a day.
Most importantly,
surrender everything to God, without holding back anything, and trust Him with all your heart. God bless!

 

[Techno2000]

I am struggling with a deep situation that I need advice. I had a person do wrong to me, the wrong affected my life my family life in a serious manner and it was all based on lies. The person maliciously made some unfounded accusation. After a few month of being in a dark place I prayed and prayed and asked God to help me forgive this person and I would leave it up to him to deal with her.
My question is Gad is love and forgiveness, the good book says if you repent god will forgive you. So my question is if a person does something terrible to another person and they repent and ask for forgiveness they get forgiven.
I am struggling to understand how this fair, how is is this just to the person that had their life destroyed and now the person who destroys it repents at the last minute and they get forgiven. What happens to people like me that did not do anything wrong and had their life turned upside down by a liar, an evil person.
Based on the good book if we do not follow the commandments and gods teaching we will not be saved. The loop hole is if we repent at the last minute we get saved I am not sure I understand. How that is this just for those follow the good book and gods teaching for all our lives and yet a person that just repents at the last minute they get saved? Not sure I understand.
I would appreciate any help in understanding.

Well if NDE 's are anything to go by, God replays your life back to you like a VHS tape in reverse. Except now, all the pain or happiest that you caused other people, now you will feel their pain or happiest from their perspective.

 

[Convert3]

The repentance has to be genuine, and we cannot fool God. Rejoice if he repents! Remember too, that we must also forgive if we are to be forgiven. I have someone that also hurt me badly, but I hope she repents one day. She has paid a dear price in her life for the people she has hurt. When I forgave her, it lifted a great weight off my shoulders. Pray for them.

 

[TheLittleLady]

How would his victims feel if they see their killer in heaven with them rejoicing in the salvation.

If those victims died in friendship with God, in heaven they will rejoice to see every single soul that comes to heaven. In heaven any grudges or hatred will have been purged from the heart of that victim.

 

[Elf01]

Another way to put it is serial killers truly repent at the last minute before they die by natural causes or are put to death by the court. Would they be saved? How would his victims feel if they see their killer in heaven with them rejoicing in the salvation.

I don’t know about serial killers but there is at least one murder victim and an accessory to the murder in heaven.

But it’s so hard to accept when people mistreat your family.

As much as we love them God loves them more.

 

[CRV]

I see several issues here.

It’s good that you are praying to God for the grace to forgive and let go, and I also assume you are praying for God to have mercy and forgive the one who wronged you.

So my question is if a person does something terrible to another person and they repent and ask for forgiveness they get forgiven.
I am struggling to understand how this fair,

Jesus died for all, so that everyone’s’ sins may be forgiven. Not all will accept His mercy etc which would fill another thread, so am not going into it more here.

how is is this just to the person that had their life destroyed and now the person who destroys it repents at the last minute and they get forgiven.

I think you need to see there are 3 issues here. 1. the forgiveness of the sin (wrong)
2. the temporal punishment due to that sin - which if we have not made reparation to God for in this life, either by our own penances or sufferings or by gaining indulgences, then whatever remains of our debt will need to be paid for in purgatory. Luke 12:59 "I say to you, you will not be released until you have paid the last penny.” 57-59 isn’t just about settling our debts in this life, but also refers to our particular judgement & purgatory.
I suggest you read good trustworthy Catholic sources regarding purgatory - we do suffer there, which is only just in that we make amends/reparation for the evil we do, until we love as God loves, as only the pure will see God.
3. The matter for restitution in this life is also a requirement if it is within our ability. For detraction, it is a little difficult because you can’t undo the truth, so a person can only speak positively about the one they injured on some good characteristic. With slander, an apology should be made, a retraction of the lie told and compensation made - though you may need to instigate legal proceedings if you want justice Slander

What happens to people like me that did not do anything wrong and had their life turned upside down by a liar, an evil person.

continued below:-

 

[CRV]

continuing on:-

That is as things stand now. In this life, you do your best to pick up the pieces and start again, as difficult it may be. Is it fair? No. But ask yourself, is it fair that people are born with missing limbs and others aren’t. Is it fair that people die innocently at the hands of others either the victim or innocent bystander? Is it fair that there are people who are starving and dying from lack or food and water, in this day and age? Life isn’t fair.

Nor can you see what you will do or fail to do between now and when you die, and like the rest of us, we all hope for mercy.

Gods’ ways our not our ways, nor are His thoughts our thoughts. One problem today is there can be a tendency to judge venial sins as slight, but all sins offend God.

The loop hole is if we repent at the last minute we get saved I am not sure I understand. How that is this just for those follow the good book and gods teaching for all our lives and yet a person that just repents at the last minute they get saved?

Because that is as God willed it. He extends His grace of repentance to us (we can do nothing by ourselves, so even repenting is His grace which He gives to us) always until our last breath, in the hope we will take it, repent and spend eternity with Him, as we were made for.

I would be conflicted to see a person that did so much harm when alive in heaven not sure I understand.

Because after we undergo and finish our own purification for the sins we’ve committed during life, then we will love as God loves - perfectly. God is All Good, God is Love, God is Perfection.

So think of someone you love dearly - because you love them completely you want what’s best for them, you put them first, you go without to give to them, you forgive any hurt quickly if you took offense at all, you let it go immediately, you don’t keep score or want to extract revenge, in effect you love them.

Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there shall be no more death or mourning, wailing or pain, [for] the old order has passed away.”

1 John 4:7-21 Gods’ Love and Christian Life

serial killers truly repent at the last minute before they die by natural causes or are put to death by the court. Would they be saved?

Yes.

continued below:-

 

[CRV]

continuing on:-

How would his victims feel if they see their killer in heaven with them rejoicing in the salvation.

They would be praising God for His mercy towards them.

General Judgement - you should read it all, but the part I want to highlight here is -

" Object of the judgment -

The judgment will embrace all works, good or bad, forgiven as well as unforgiven sins, every idle word (Matthew 12:36), every secret thought (1 Corinthians 4:5). With the exception of Peter Lombard, theologians teach that even the secret sins of the just will be made manifest, in order that judgment may be made complete and that the justice and mercy of God may be glorified. This will not pain or embarrass the saints, but add to their glory, just as the repentance of St. Peter and St. Mary Magdalen is to these saints a source of joy and honour."

 

[PennyinCanada]

I am sorry for this situation and struggle. There is a lot of things in life that are not fair.
There is a different situation to consider. A baby could be baptized and die and go to heaven, and another person could struggle and toil for 80+ years who was raised in the church. Both are in heaven.

Consider the scripture below. Somehow we will know in the next life who is gold, silver, or precious stones. Others will come empty handed but they will reveal how God was very generous in his mercy. All of us will proclaim God’s kindness to us.

I Corinthians 3…
10 By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. 11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13 their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. 14 If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. 15 If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.

May God in his kindness grant you peace. I wish for you to be a warrior for God in this world that has forgotten Him. God bless you and keep you.

 

[Brian_K]

Forgiveness is not a feeling. It’s an act of the will. It means not demanding your due. It sounds like you’ve move a long way towards forgiveness and are dealing with the difficult feelings that come with it. But feelings are not facts. You’re on here asking how to forgive, and not how to get even. That’s huge.

And last minute repentance requires grace. And someone who avoids grace their whole life may not have what it takes to repent at the last moment. That’s not saying we hope they don’t and end up in Hell. But relying on a deathbed confession or repentance is playing roulette with one’s soul.

So, yeah, it’s unfair and difficult by our standards to try to do right while one who willfully does wrong seems to get away with it. But I’d much rather stand before God with the least sin, most recent confession and most possible works of mercy done than hope I said the right thing at the last moment after a life of trying to be as big a cheater and taker as I could possible get away with.