sins of ommision

[Mr.Blank1.5]

Hi everyone,
In my life, I often find myself in situations where I wonder if I am doing a competent job at being a light for the Gospel, or if I am partaking in the sins of others. It’s a good thing God made other people to talk to, otherwise my confessor and I would be on a first name basis.

Case 1: Several of my friends and I in college live in a townhouse. Often times, some of them have their girlfriends sleep over or vice versa. I’ve told one of them (the practicing Catholic) that what he is doing is frowned upon by the Church. He doesn’t seem to mind and partakes in communion regardless.
On a couple occasions, he asked the rest of us to keep the girlfriend’s visits secret. I unwittingly agreed thinking that saying “hey mr. and mrs. so and so, did you know your son is seeing (insert name) behind your back” would not lead to a good situation. As for the other friends who do similar things, I didn’t say anything thing to them because they didn’t seem like they would care about Church teaching (juding by their attitudes).

Case 2: My brother and his girlfriend are cohabitating. His girlfriend and her family are lapsed Catholics. My family (except for me) is non-religious. I’ve told my brother and my mother about Church teaching on cohabitation, but they either don’t care, or they just let it be. Telling this to his girlfriend would probably have little effect either. Sometimes, I have to stay over their place (my brother is my means of transportation between home and school). They have (and are planning to) visit us and stay over (sleeping in separate rooms).

Case 3: My parents who are divorced, live together. I can’t think of anything I can do about that situation to be honest.

I apologize for the long post. Now, I do pray for my family and friends all of the time, and I have even tried to explain Church law to them. However, am I still commiting a sin of ommision in any of these cases?

 

[kbwall]

Sounds to me like you’ve done everything you can possibly do. Sometimes, people just have to make their own choices.

 

[Edmundus1581]

I once asked a priest about a similar issue, and his response was that I should consider the virtue of “prudence, which is knowing what is possible”. In other words, don’t say anything if there is little chance of something good coming from it, or if it may actually be counter-productive.

 

[Marie682]

In all of these instances, it seems like you’ve done the best you can do. In the first case, as long as you’ve made it known that you don’t approve of what your roommate is doing, there really isn’t anything you can do but find another living situation, which I assume would probably not be easy in the middle of the academic year. And it’s not up to you to tell his parents anything- I find that idea weird. He’s an adult, and what he tells his parents or does not tell them is his business, regardless of his actions. If he asked you to actually lie for him it might be different, but really I don’t see why you’d need to say anything at all about it.

It also seems like your brother is aware of how you feel. I don’t think staying with him is necessarily wrong, but if I were you I would probably try to find another arrangement so that he doesn’t think you condone the situation. I don’t know the distance you have to travel, but maybe you could get a cheap hotel room for the night. As far as your parents, well I think there is even less you can do about that.

As long as everyone is aware of how you feel, and as long as your actions don’t condone the situation, I don’t think you are sinning. I am not sure what you have or haven’t explained to them, but telling people why the Church sees cohabitation is wrong is always good. People who aren’t religious tend to respond better to reasoning, and then might come to see that it all really makes a lot of sense too.

 

[shanne]

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[Joe_Kelley]

. . .

Case 3: My parents who are divorced, live together. I can’t think of anything I can do about that situation to be honest.

. . …

Divorce is only a civil concept. It does not affect the sacramental bond; so in God’s eyes they are still married.

 

[Mr.Blank1.5]

Thanks for the responses everyone.

Divorce is only a civil concept. It does not affect the sacramental bond; so in God’s eyes they are still married.

Would the situation change in any way if they weren’t Catholic to begin with?

 

[thistle]

Thanks for the responses everyone.

Would the situation change in any way if they weren’t Catholic to begin with?

Assuming they were free to marry in the first place, the marriage of two baptised non-Catholics (e.g. Methodists, Anglicans, Lutherans etc) is considered both valid and sacramental.
Getting a civil divorce does not change that.