Sister having kids with same sex partner

[JaneGrey]

I with the posters who encourage reconciliation, rather than a useless feud.

Yes it is close to home, but do you think you will be able to shelter your children from the realities of this world forever? They will learn about homosexual relationships, families with 2 moms and no dads, families with only a mom or a dad, 2 dads, etc. Is the message you want to send to them that certain people are undeserving of love and should be excluded?

Someone mentioned “treat them like the tax collectors”. From my recollection of the Gospels, Jesus ate with the tax collectors while others shunned them…how exactly are we supposed to “treat them like tax collectors”? Shun or welcome with love.

You don’t have to accept their actions, but they are human beings who only have to answer to God, not to you or any other person on this board.

I hope that you are able to make peace with your family. Having extended my hand many times to my family only to have it slapped away (even though I am following the “correct” way of doing things) is painful.

My grandmother, who has since gone to be with the Lord, shunned a great-grandchild born out of wedlock for a year or so, until the death of my grandfather. At that point she realized that she was simply shunning an innocent child and she repented and welcomed this child as an equal to all her other great-grandchildren (who are my children). She would say things like, “isn’t this child and child from God like all the others?” She was more Catholic than the Pope, her house had more religious icons than most Churches, so to hear that coming from someone who has been around for a while impacted me greatly.

Open your heart, welcome your family in. There is too much hate in this world already for families to be torn apart because some don’t agree with their choices. Shunning them will not lead to change.

How will you sister explain to her children why her uncle shuns her? What are the odds those children, under those circumstances, will ever turn to the Church? You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, the Church will catch more people with love than with hate.

Very well said. I wonder if the same posters would recommend that the OP keep their kids away from children born out of wedlock, as an example. What kind of a view are those children going to grow up having about Christians?

 

[Corki]

Very well said. I wonder if the same posters would recommend that the OP keep their kids away from children born out of wedlock, as an example. What kind of a view are those children going to grow up having about Christians?

Did you read the thread? The posters here aren’t trying to keep their children away from the sister’s children as much as wanting to delay exposing very young children to a family member living an aberrant life-style.

Parents have a duty to make sure that their children are mature enough to process difficult situations. Just as we don’t expose children to too much violence when they are little, we also don’t expose them to deviant social arrangements at too young of an age.

 

[defenderoftruth]

Looks like there’s alot of millstones that are going to be handed out since “not offending” is more important than protecting innocent children from perversion all out of PC’ism and “family togetherness”.

You talking apples and oranges posters when you ask about a child born out of heterosexual wedlock. Even though mom/dad slept around (which is a mortal sin) normal fornication isn’t on the same level as homosexuality. Sodom and Gamorrah was the evidence for that. Both are mortal sins both will send people to hell. ONE is a matter of fact PERVERSION. ONE has been for YEARS on the list of “the sins that cry out to God from Heaven” in the Catholic Church. Stop the insanity. This is why so many kids are getting dragged into this vile sin. Because people meet “nice” homosexuals and want to be “understanding”. It’s also a huge ball and chain that when engaged in is hard to get out of…ask any SSA person or former homosexual.

Sorry but having your kids around homosexuals for any reason is STUPID AND DANGEROUS. Can I say it again SHE AND HER “FRIEND” ARE BRAINWASHING THE CHILDREN THEY HAVE DO YOU WANT THEM TO BRAINWASH YOUR KIDS TOO??!!

 

[DD_8630]

Looks like there’s alot of millstones that are going to be handed out since “not offending” is more important than protecting innocent children from perversion all out of PC’ism and “family togetherness”.

Unless they have sex in front of the kids, exactly what perversion will they be exposed to? Happy cousins? Loving parents?

You talking apples and oranges posters when you ask about a child born out of heterosexual wedlock. Even though mom/dad slept around (which is a mortal sin) normal fornication isn’t on the same level as homosexuality. Sodom and Gamorrah was the evidence for that.

By all means, cite the chapter and verse wherein Sodom’s destruction is attributed to homosexuality.

Both are mortal sins both will send people to hell. ONE is a matter of fact PERVERSION. ONE has been for YEARS on the list of “the sins that cry out to God from Heaven” in the Catholic Church.

Nonetheless, the recurring theme is that because these women have an ‘abhorrent’ or ‘dysfunctional’ lifestyle, the OP should shun them and their family, and teach his kids to do the same - he should teach his kids that, though these two adults are in love and desire a family together, because they are two women, they and their kids deserve social ostracisation.

Stop the insanity. This is why so many kids are getting dragged into this vile sin. Because people meet “nice” homosexuals and want to be “understanding”.

First, why the quotation marks? Is it impossible for someone to want to be understanding, or for a gay person to genuinely be nice?
Second, assuming that a person meets a homosexual and wants to be understanding, how does that at all relate to “why so many kids are being dragged into this vile sin”? Homosexuality is not communicable - to the full extent of our evidence, it is one of the first and most formative of traits to form, perhaps even being genetically and hormonally influenced in utero. The prevalence and incidence of homosexuality is constant, regardless of changing social norms.

It’s also a huge ball and chain that when engaged in is hard to get out of…ask any SSA person or former homosexual.

There is no scientific evidence that sexual orientation can be changed, and even so-called ‘ex-gay’ ministries were forced by law to admit that they know they cannot change sexual orientation, only try to suppress these most basal feelings and emotions. So, you’re right, it is hard, so hard that it’s yet to been done.

Sorry but having your kids around homosexuals for any reason is STUPID AND DANGEROUS.

First, the danger is what, exactly?
Second, how do you suggest preventing homosexuals in the street from walking past your children? After 1945, they stopped forcing gay people to wear labels, so how do you propose the enforced segregation of children and gays?

Can I say it again SHE AND HER “FRIEND” ARE BRAINWASHING THE CHILDREN THEY HAVE DO YOU WANT THEM TO BRAINWASH YOUR KIDS TOO??!!

I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that, could you speak up?

 

[Corki]

Unless they have sex in front of the kids, exactly what perversion will they be exposed to? Happy cousins? Loving parents?

The perversion that two women being “married” is in any way normal.

Nonetheless, the recurring theme is that because these women have an ‘abhorrent’ or ‘dysfunctional’ lifestyle, the OP should shun them and their family, and teach his kids to do the same - he should teach his kids that, though these two adults are in love and desire a family together, because they are two women, they and their kids deserve social ostracisation.

No one is advocating shunning or ostracisation, But, while these two women desire a family, they can’t have one in their desired contruct. For most children, it would be better to delay introducing the abberance until the child is ready to understand why it is wrong.

There is no scientific evidence that sexual orientation can be changed, and even so-called ‘ex-gay’ ministries were forced by law to admit that they know they cannot change sexual orientation, only try to suppress these most basal feelings and emotions. So, you’re right, it is hard, so hard that it’s yet to been done.

Yet there is millenia of evidence that sexual activity can be controlled. No one is forced to try to marry someone of the same sex.

First, the danger is what, exactly?

The danger is that children who are too young to know better will come to think of homosexual “marriage” as normal or something to be accepted. They may become desensitized to moral deviations. This will make it harder to grow up with well developed moral consciences. We want our children to get to heaven - not to see evil as good or even as neutral.

 

[Nec5]

By all means, cite the chapter and verse wherein Sodom’s destruction is attributed to homosexuality.

Romans Chapter 1:

God’s Wrath Against Sinful Humanity
18 The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19 since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.

** 24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.**

28 Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. 29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31 they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. 32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

Verse 26 is a reference to the story and peoples of Sodom and Gomorrah as well as a warning to all of us and the immorality of his time as well. And just like our culture today, those cities didn’t limit their “fun” to gay sexuality, they embraced everything from bestiality to pansexuality, all distortions and perversions of God’s plan and gift to us.

Today’s pro-homosexual culture would rationalize and explain away these references. That makes perfect sense if you’re trying to normalize a behavior. The first thing you have to do is fight and distort the current moral law.

[sarcasm]For centuries, the destruction of those cities was clearly understood. But today, we’ve “discovered” with a more careful reading that homosexuality had no part in the story. Yes, it was all homophobia stretching across centuries and at least the last millenium. Only in the 20th century did we see that there was no sin regarding gay sexuality. Perish the thought.[/sarcasm]

It is precisely this weak wishy washy view of scripture that has caused so many Christians to question our faith’s validity and seek meaning elsewhere. It’s kind of fun if you play that game. Heck, Christ didn’t do anything miraculous if we do a “close” reading. The references to demons and the possessed we now know are simply conditions like hysteria, depression, ADHD, and schizophrenia. There’s no record that these people remained cured later on in the Gospels. Therefore, how can we say there was a real miracle divine cure present from the son of God? Just a placebo effect. Lazarus was in a deep coma, that’s all. Why, I saw a documentary on the discovery channel explaining how Lot’s wife was not really turned to a pillar of salt but was simply a primitive reference to the salt like columns that are common to the area’s geography. They also explained away most of the other miracles. The pillar of fire stopping pharaoh? Nah. It was a combat tactic often employed wherein soldiers at night gathered torches to make their numbers seem larger than they really were. The plagues on Egypt are little more than natural phenomena given a supernatural rationale by primitive people clinging to superstition just as I cling to my “homophobia”.

See? It never ends until you tell these deceivers to go away, which is something Paul constantly repeats in his advice to the early Christian communities. And Christ mentions it as well.

 

[defenderoftruth]

The perversion that two women being “married” is in any way normal.

No one is advocating shunning or ostracisation, But, while these two women desire a family, they can’t have one in their desired contruct. For most children, it would be better to delay introducing the abberance until the child is ready to understand why it is wrong.

Yet there is millenia of evidence that sexual activity can be controlled. No one is forced to try to marry someone of the same sex.

The danger is that children who are too young to know better will come to think of homosexual “marriage” as normal or something to be accepted. They may become desensitized to moral deviations. This will make it harder to grow up with well developed moral consciences. We want our children to get to heaven - not to see evil as good or even as neutral.

Thank you! You said it far better than I could.

 

[defenderoftruth]

Verse 26 is a reference to the story and peoples of Sodom and Gomorrah as well as a warning to all of us and the immorality of his time as well. And just like our culture today, those cities didn’t limit their “fun” to gay sexuality, they embraced everything from bestiality to pansexuality, all distortions and perversions of God’s plan and gift to us.

Today’s pro-homosexual culture would rationalize and explain away these references. That makes perfect sense if you’re trying to normalize a behavior. The first thing you have to do is fight and distort the current moral law.

[sarcasm]For centuries, the destruction of those cities was clearly understood. But today, we’ve “discovered” with a more careful reading that homosexuality had no part in the story. Yes, it was all homophobia stretching across centuries and at least the last millenium. Only in the 20th century did we see that there was no sin regarding gay sexuality. Perish the thought.[/sarcasm]

It is precisely this weak wishy washy view of scripture that has caused so many Christians to question our faith’s validity and seek meaning elsewhere. It’s kind of fun if you play that game. Heck, Christ didn’t do anything miraculous if we do a “close” reading. The references to demons and the possessed we now know are simply conditions like hysteria, depression, ADHD, and schizophrenia. There’s no record that these people remained cured later on in the Gospels. Therefore, how can we say there was a real miracle divine cure present from the son of God? Just a placebo effect. Lazarus was in a deep coma, that’s all. Why, I saw a documentary on the discovery channel explaining how Lot’s wife was not really turned to a pillar of salt but was simply a primitive reference to the salt like columns that are common to the area’s geography. They also explained away most of the other miracles. The pillar of fire stopping pharaoh? Nah. It was a combat tactic often employed wherein soldiers at night gathered torches to make their numbers seem larger than they really were. The plagues on Egypt are little more than natural phenomena given a supernatural rationale by primitive people clinging to superstition just as I cling to my “homophobia”.

See? It never ends until you tell these deceivers to go away, which is something Paul constantly repeats in his advice to the early Christian communities. And Christ mentions it as well.

:clapping:

 

[Gabriel_Serafin]

Always remember to speak the truth with charity, even if this splits the family… Jesus (God Himself) said:*
“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother,a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household." Matthew 10:34-36*

 

[JaneGrey]

Did you read the thread? The posters here aren’t trying to keep their children away from the sister’s children as much as wanting to delay exposing very young children to a family member living an aberrant life-style.

Parents have a duty to make sure that their children are mature enough to process difficult situations. Just as we don’t expose children to too much violence when they are little, we also don’t expose them to deviant social arrangements at too young of an age.

Yes I did and while some posters were making a case that the OP’s sister’s arrangement is more sinful/deviant than that of unmarried parents, no one addressed the issue of the children stuck in the more deviant lifestyle and how they would perceive the situation. The OP wants to protect his children, fair enough, but what about long-term? For how long are people proposing he restrict contact with them?

 

[Corki]

Yes I did and while some posters were making a case that the OP’s sister’s arrangement is more sinful/deviant than that of unmarried parents,

Well, it IS more sinful than unmarried heterosexual parents.

no one addressed the issue of the children stuck in the more deviant lifestyle and how they would perceive the situation.

I have a lot of sympathy for those poor children. But you can’t expect a parent to sacrifice his/her own children to protect the feelings of someone else’s children. The responsibilty stops at being charitable.

The OP wants to protect his children, fair enough, but what about long-term? For **how long **are people proposing he restrict contact with them

As I mentioned previously, until the children are old enough to understand why the relationship is wrong. Once a child has a firm grasp of what a family should be, a parent can gently introduce examples of families that are not in a moral form. The age for that is going to depend on the child and on how much PDA he/she is going to be witnessing. Once the child starts learning about sin (likely when preparing for FHC), the topic can be gently introduced by the parents. Kids start learning about modesty and purity and that certain things are reserved for a husband and wife.

It’s abusive to sexualize children at too young of an age. Any real explanation of a homosexual “marriage” is going to require more information than should be given to a pre-adolescent child. Until then, the moral explanations are that Auntie and her partner are either confused or disordered. Neither is really satisfactory when talking about a family member.

Can’t we just let the kids be kids and not burden them with the sins of their relatives?

 

[dconklin]

Always remember to speak the truth with charity, even if this splits the family… Jesus (God Himself) said:*
“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother,a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household." Matthew 10:34-36*

Whoa! Hold on a second. Jesus said “For I have come to…” Be careful with confusing yourself with Jesus. None of his commands to us were to judge - only to love. He enjoyed showing the critics how foolish they were.

 

[defenderoftruth]

Whoa! Hold on a second. Jesus said “For I have come to…” Be careful with confusing yourself with Jesus. None of his commands to us were to judge - only to love. He enjoyed showing the critics how foolish they were.

Yes Dave and who is it we are supposed to follow? And I noticed that NO ONE has said anything about my post about Jesus warning about millstones to those that cause children to stumble. You are selectively using scripture Dave he definately says to judge (just not hypocritically-that’s the context of Matthew 7) because he lays out confronting someone in the church who’s in sin. (Matthew 18:15-17) We are called “Christians” because we are supposed to be little Christs (not in a heretical new age way but in a example way). There is NO WAY under the sun that Jesus would have children around homosexuals for the sake of “family unity” or “loving acceptance”. This is the same Jesus who destroyed Sodom and Gamorrah (Genesis 19:24 And the Lord rained upon Sodom and Gomorrha brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven.) …and don’t forget picked Paul as an apostle who by the power of the Holy Spirit wrote Romans 1.

 

[James3AE]

Sorry for abandoning this thread as the original poster, and also sorry for bumping it. My wife and I have started meeting with an EnCourage group that is local to us, it has been very helpful in trying to put things into perspective, and comforting to meet with people that have been dealing with these same issues in life, and sharing with them and listening to how they have coped.

Thanks for the posts some are helpful, some are unhelpful but the feedback is welcome. Things are status quo, but with the babies coming in a few months some action will need to be taken soon. My wife and I would like to be positive role models in the children’s lives and we are trying to figure out the best way to do that.

 

[TheRealJuliane]

Sorry for abandoning this thread as the original poster, and also sorry for bumping it. My wife and I have started meeting with an EnCourage group that is local to us, it has been very helpful in trying to put things into perspective, and comforting to meet with people that have been dealing with these same issues in life, and sharing with them and listening to how they have coped.

Thanks for the posts some are helpful, some are unhelpful but the feedback is welcome. Things are status quo, but with the babies coming in a few months some action will need to be taken soon. My wife and I would like to be positive role models in the children’s lives and we are trying to figure out the best way to do that.

Thanks so much for the update! You are doing the best you can in a very difficult situation.

Glad you find the EnCourage group helpful. I have read many recommendations for that on this forum.