Sister mad b/c she is not godmother

[eli1118]

Friends,
I had my son baptized almost a year ago and I chose my younger sister to be the godmother. I chose her b/c she is a practicing Catholic and will probably not have children.
My older sister is still hurt and mad b/c I didn’t choose her. She has two sons and is married. She is Catholic but not really practicing.
This has really affected our relationship to the point I am afraid to call her b/c of how rude she might be.

I need some thoughts about this. I have tried to mend the ties but it isn’t working.:crying:

thanks
eli

 

[Larowyn]

Friends,
I had my son baptized almost a year ago and I chose my younger sister to be the godmother. I chose her b/c she is a practicing Catholic and will probably not have children.
My older sister is still hurt and mad b/c I didn’t choose her. She has two sons and is married. She is Catholic but not really practicing.
This has really affected our relationship to the point I am afraid to call her b/c of how rude she might be.

I need some thoughts about this. I have tried to mend the ties but it isn’t working.:crying:

thanks
eli

Honestly, what’s the deal with who the parents choose to be godparents? Is there something that comes with being a godparent that I’m not aware of, aside from the responsibility of taking care of the godchildren if something happens? If it was me, I’d tell my sister to start going to church again and taking religion seriously. Then again, I don’t have any siblings so I have no idea what I’d do.

 

[BostonMyrtleBea]

This is tough. I was thrilled to be my new nephew’s Godmother, but it was stressful for me since I’m one of six siblings. My husband said I shouldn’t tell the other sisters and let my brother do the talking. It was uncomfortable.

We are not going to have immediate family be Godparents for fear of what you are experiencing.

One thing is that some take being a Godparent as a status symbol of some sort (not reading into what your sister thinks - just making some statements). It’s (of course) a wonderful honor (I cried when my brother asked), but it seems like your sister doesn’t understand that your decision was a RELIGIOUS decision, not a “better sister award.”

It’s too bad she can’t move beyond this What if she put herself in the other pair of shoes? What if she were the one chosen and your other sister got upset? Would that be fair? Nope.

Other than explaining about the religious thing, I don’t know what to say. If she’s not practicing, she can’t really pretend to think she will be a better Godparent.

I hope you and you sister will get through this stressful time

 

[briang72]

I’m guessing that your older sister doesn’t understand that the primary role of a godmother is to act as the child’s sponsor at baptism and to instruct the child (or at least be a role model) throughout life in matters of the Catholic faith.

(Can. 872) In so far as possible, a person being baptised is to be assigned a sponsor. In the case of an adult baptism, the sponsor’s role is to assist the person in christian initiation. In the case of an infant baptism, the role is together with the parents to present the child for baptism, and to help it to live a christian life befitting the baptised and faithfully to fulfil the duties inherent in baptism.

Your older sister, in her current state, is unfit to be a godmother. It seems that you probably already know this, but does your older sister know that she is unfit, or does she think of godmother as just some sort of honor with no responsibility?

As for what you should do, I can only recommend telling her that it was important to you that your baby’s godmother be a practicing Catholic. Use this an opportunity to evangelize your sister on the faith.

 

[StratusRose]

So many people act as if becoming a Godparent is a “reward” these days. Your sister obviously does not comprehend this responsibility. One of my friends recently became a Godmother to one of her friend’s babies. Neither are practicing Catholics, my friend is a fallen away Catholic and will bash the church every chance she gets.

 

[Catholic90]

Honestly, what’s the deal with who the parents choose to be godparents? Is there something that comes with being a godparent that I’m not aware of, aside from the responsibility of taking care of the godchildren if something happens? If it was me, I’d tell my sister to start going to church again and taking religion seriously. Then again, I don’t have any siblings so I have no idea what I’d do.

That is NOT the role of Godparents and has no such legal bearing. Godparents are strictly a religious responsibility, not a legal one to take care of kids if something were to happen.

To specify guardians, the parents should have a will that states who will care for their children if something were to happen. The guardians may or may not be the same people who are Godparents. Ours are not.

 

[Veronica7978]

The reason that the younger sister doesn’t have children should be enough to quiet the older sisters fears. Just tell her you love her and understand how she would feel but it all came down to that (don’t mention the practicing catholic part as that would be even more hurtful and she knows that in her heart already, which is probably the reason why she’s upset.

Love, kindness, and even an apology because the important thing is to serve others not yourself, right?

 

[1ke]

Friends,
I had my son baptized almost a year ago and I chose my younger sister to be the godmother. I chose her b/c she is a practicing Catholic and will probably not have children.
My older sister is still hurt and mad b/c I didn’t choose her. She has two sons and is married. She is Catholic but not really practicing.
This has really affected our relationship to the point I am afraid to call her b/c of how rude she might be.

I need some thoughts about this. I have tried to mend the ties but it isn’t working.:crying:

thanks
eli

My only thought is this:

Your sister’s behavior merely serves to **confirm **that you made the correct decision regarding your choice of godparent.

 

[eli1118]

Thanks for all the feedback. I sent my sister an “i’m sorry card” with an apology and hopefully that will help.
Prayers for me are always welcomed.
thanks again,
eli

 

[Veronica7978]

Thanks for all the feedback. I sent my sister an “i’m sorry card” with an apology and hopefully that will help.
Prayers for me are always welcomed.
thanks again,
eli

I’m proud of you. You’re a good sister. You’ve truly modeled Christianity with your actions.

 

[os_justi]

My only thought is this:

Your sister’s behavior merely serves to **confirm **that you made the correct decision regarding your choice of godparent.

Seconded. It’s YOUR decision, not your sister’s. If she’s upset that you didn’t choose her, maybe she needs to sit back and think about why.

 

[Larowyn]

My family is having a similar issue. My father’s cousin is being made by his mother to pay for the baptism of his godson, rather than his brother and sister-in-law, who are the parents of the child.

 

[thomfra]

Friends,
I had my son baptized almost a year ago and I chose my younger sister to be the godmother. I chose her b/c she is a practicing Catholic and will probably not have children.
My older sister is still hurt and mad b/c I didn’t choose her. She has two sons and is married. She is Catholic but not really practicing.
This has really affected our relationship to the point I am afraid to call her b/c of how rude she might be.

I need some thoughts about this. I have tried to mend the ties but it isn’t working.:crying:

thanks
eli

I can undestand why she is hurt. I have two sisters. I could never have chosen one over the other like that, regardless of whether I thought they were Catholic enough. You should apologize, and ask for forgiveness.

 

[thomfra]

I can undestand why she is hurt. I have two sisters. I could never have chosen one over the other like that, regardless of whether I thought they were Catholic enough. You should apologize, and ask for forgiveness.

Oh…sorry. I read the rest of the post.

 

[TigerKitty]

Definitely it must hurt that your sister is mad at you - she probably feels hurt too - but you did not INTENTIONALLY hurt her. As I see it, she INTENTIONALLY hurt you by choosing to INFORM you that she felt slighted, thus reducing (diminishing) your joy on a beautiful occasion. You made the right choice with the younger sister.

And, yes, I know what you mean - it does hurt, and I’m sorry your joy was diminished. My sister told me how hurt she was that I didn’t have her UNbaptized 2 and a half year old as my ring bearer. And, no, her and her family do NOT attend church - anywhere. Sharing your pain - and hoping we both feel better.