Sister Pregant.

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My sister is pregnant and not married my Mom is not happy with it but, is like what do you do? My Dad is really not happy and sees all doom and gloom with the family. He said he would be willing to take care of it. My Mom and Dad are divorced and very hostile towards each other. So any ideas or advice on how to make a harsh situation a little easier?
 
A lot depends on how old your sister is. Abortion should, of course, not be considered.
 
Well. At 20 years old she is old enough to make her own decisions. I think that if she is VERY clear about that with your mom and especially your dad that they will be willing to back off and let her handle it. I don’t mean to make light of it, but a 20 year old being pregnant out of wedlock is a very minor societal issue today. Its very common and women manage to make this work all the time. It would be different if she were, say, 16. (I’m not saying its good.)

I think that it will be up to your sister to act in a way that communicates that she feels in-control of the situation and in-control of her life. This will bolster your parents’ confidence in your sister’s decision making ability. On the other hand, if she acts like a baby and is constantly looking toward her parents to make decisions, then you can hardly blame them for being demanding and controlling.
 
Honestly, all you can do is be a good uncle. I would NOT bet between your parents and your sister. All 3 of them will just resent you. Respect that your sister is the mom and makes all decisions.

Also, you don’t mention if the father of the child is in the picture. He also has the majority of the say in all decisions.

If your sister needs help, offer to come over and watch the baby so she can have a nap. But apart from that, I would keep all opinions to myself. It is NOT your job to smooth things over

Angie
 
Why see this as problematic! Be a good brother . Go before Our Eucharistic Lord and as a family member in love, despite all the gloom ,tell Jesus to be merciful and assist your sister and your family. God is so always in reach. As the uncle to be,dedicate the child and your sister to Our Lord now. When my brothers and sisters,or their children were expectant of children I always dedicate the child and parents to Our Lord and Lady and pray for them. Bless the families involved and pray for the parents. Charity----Love must initiate from each one of us to the other. Take your sister to Church and have the priest bless the child in her womb before the Altar of Our Lady and consecrate Mother and Unborn Child to Our Lady. Do you not think Our Lady would abandon your sister if she is entrusted to her? My dear boy ,life must always include the Divine in our daily life . Invite heaven to partake. . And now my prayer. . Most humble maiden of the Most High,You alone ,of all your kind were highly favored by the Most High God to be Mother of His Divine Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ. I speak to you now and yet then as you on your merciful and charitable act are journeying on to your cousin Elizabeth to give active assistance to her maternity while yet you contemplate your own exalted one. Great Holy Mother you know full well the look of scorn ,the condemnation and ridicule suffered by countless young ,inexperienced,foolish,or misunderstood mothers and mothers to be. I ask you to hold the face of this young mother to be ,in your eye and in your heart. From afar I dedicate this unknown sister of mine to you,I entrust her and her child to you and the Flame of Love of Your Heart. I ask you to lay claim to her child as your own and use this child to expand the Mission that God has entrusted to you. Let the unborn child of this mother bring honor to her family by being a loyal and loving servant to God through your intercession. I entrust the whole of this family to your own Most Holy Family,with faithful Joseph to guide the men and you the women and your Precious Jesus,to bless and draw everyone to Himself. Ave Maria.Full of grace ,the Lord is with You. Blessed are You among women and Blessed is the fruit of Your womb Jesus. Holy Mary ,Mother of God,pray for us sinners,Spread the effect of grace of your Flame of Love to all humanity ,now and at the hour of our death.Amen.Bless God.Blessed be God.Thanks be to God.
 
A little more information would be helpful. Does your sister still live at home or out on her own? Is the baby’s father a part of your sisters life and will he be involved with raising the baby?

I also don’t get what the big deal is. Your sister is an adult and has chosen to keep her baby. Big whoop. Happens every day and barely an eyebrow raised. 🤷

As others have said, love and support your sister. being pregnant is an exciting time, but it is also when hormones make a woman very emotional and women who are pregnant often feel vulnerable. She’ll need all the love and support she can get!

Maybe help her with the work of getting ready for the baby. Offer to do things like assemble the crib and get the baby’s room set up…stuff like that. Learn what you can. A great book is What to Expect When You’re Expecting and there are plenty of books about baby’s first year. Once you know everything you can learn you will better understand what your sister is going through during the pregnancy and you’ll be able to offer to help with caring for the baby once it gets here. My younger siblings were a great help when my first baby came along 😃

Hopefully, your parents will see you being supportive and decide that this baby is not a scandal or a tragedy and will also be supportive and helpful.
 
Thanks and she is living with her boyfriend. The boyfriend is good guy. My Dad doesn’t really care for him.
 
Pray for them. It’s wonderful that they are keeping the baby.

My husband and I were in a similar situation a couple of years ago. I discovered I was pregnant and we weren’t married. We were older and much more “established” since we both had good jobs. But we were still in a very precarious situation.

We got engaged soon after, went through RCIA and had a sacramental marriage soon after. We are happily married, have purchased a house and are expecting baby number 2.

Don’t be so quick to judge others situations. Pray and trust in God’s plan for them. Anything can happen. It doesn’t have to be all negative and doom and gloom.

Pray for you father too.
 
Hi Stephen

How does your sister feel about having a baby?
 
StephenL said:
She happy about it but, she is nervous.
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In that case, while the situation may not be ideal, I would try and very much share in your sister’s joy and happiness, while being sensitive to your parent’s discomfort at the situation. New life is such a wonderful miracle; I imagine once your parents get to see their new grandchild they will find a way to accommodate things.

God bless you all - keeping you all and the growing baby in prayer +
 
I would do whatever you can to support your sister and her boyfriend in strengthening their relationship. Ideally of course you’d love for them to get married and become active Catholics, right? But that may take a long, long time. In the meanwhile, do everything in your power to encourage little drama and good relationship skills. Include the dad in baby discussions/showers and things like that. If you socialize together, plan things that are more kid friendly from now on–like backyard barbeques vs. bar hopping or dancing. Kids in an intact home are so much better off than those born to a single parent.
 
StephenL said:
Thanks and she is living with her boyfriend. The boyfriend is good guy. My Dad doesn’t really care for him.
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If she is living with the boyfriend, I honestly don’t see the big surprise. After all, if no one batted an eye lash when they were living together, why all the drama now? What else did your parents think would happen?
 
StephenL said:
They were not living together before hang
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So they decided to move in together after they found out they were expecting? That could be a good sign. Maybe they are taking things slowly and a bit out of order, but if they are moving toward more commitment they could be moving toward marriage at some later date.
 
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