Sister won't baptize half her children

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AmyD

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Hi there,

This is something that has troubled me and especially my mother. My younger sister is married and both were raised Catholic. They Have 7 kids and only the first 3 are baptized! If you ask my sister all she says is she hasn’t gotten around to it!! I can’t believe this. I get mad wondering how she can do this to her children. I don’t feel close to her like I used to. Any insight why she wouldn’t baptize her other children?
 
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You’d have to ask her. No one here can possibly know your sister’s mind.

-Fr ACEGC
 
Well, it’s on her. Pray for her, be a good example of faith, but she’s an adult and is going to make decisions for herself. Forcing the issue won’t help.
 
This is something that has troubled me and especially my mother. My younger sister is married and both were raised Catholic. They Have 7 kids and only the first 3 are baptized! If you ask my sister all she says is she hasn’t gotten around to it!! I can’t believe this. I get mad wondering how she can do this to her children. I don’t feel close to her like I used to. Any insight why she wouldn’t baptize her other children?
 
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Apparently she does not see baptism as necessary for salvation. Though one never likes to think about it, children sadly can and do pass away, sometimes suddenly. In times past, Catholics believed that unbaptized infants couldn’t see heaven, and therefore went to a mysterious state of natural happiness called limbo. More recently, that concept has become disliked, and the Church has de-emphasized it, instead urging us to trust in God’s mercy for cases such as these. That changes nothing — the fate of unbaptized infants is what it is, and what we like or dislike, believe or don’t believe, is beside the point. Far, far better to baptize as soon as possible after birth, and leave nothing to chance. My wife and I were on pins and needles for the month before our son was baptized, and we ensured that a bottle of holy water was easily accessible in the house at all times, for an emergency baptism if needed. Thankfully it did not come to that, and Son is now almost 13 years old.

You might tactfully discuss with your sister the traditional teaching of the Church on the baptism of one’s children. If she is aware of it, and takes it to heart, surely she will want to do the right thing. And I may raise some hackles here (I hope not yours) in saying so , but if she has had seven children, it’s probably a pretty fair bet that she takes all of the Church’s teachings seriously, and that is a very good thing.
 
Remember that they’re her children, and she is entitled to make decisions you and your mother don’t agree with. If she doesn’t want to discuss it, I suggest you stop bringing it up. When she wants you to know why, I’m sure she’ll tell you.
 
We just want to know why!! Her kids range in age from 20 to 4! And we have no clue.
She does not even go to church anymore. None of the kids had their 1st communion or confirmation.
They are really into sports.
 
Well, then I think you have your answer. If she doesn’t go to church and her children aren’t confirmed, then more than likely she has drifted away from her faith. Perhaps she doesn’t feel comfortable talking to you about it because she’s worried about your (and your mother’s) reaction. Whatever the reason, if she doesn’t want to talk about it, then I would stop asking her.
 
I still don’t like it tho. We used to be so close and now she drifted from the church. I just think of her children need faith in their lives.
 
AmyD said:
I still don’t like it tho. We used to be so close and now she drifted from the church. I just think of her children need faith in their lives.
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This is very sad. You know her far better than any of us do, in fact, we don’t know her at all. If you ever feel like you can discuss it with her, the time will be right and the words will come. I hate to say it, but on a natural level, you may have done all you can do. After that, we have only prayer and penance.
 
Yes I feel I have done all I can. I can tell she Doesn’t want to talk about it for what ever reason. So all I can do is pray for her and her family.🙏
 
Do you have seven children? I have only three and things easily get away from me, even important things. It may be that she just hasn’t gotten around to it. Perhaps you can offer to help?
 
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Thank you. I have 2 children. That’s a great idea! but I feel if she really wanted to she would do it. I would love to help her eventhough we are 5 hours apart.🙏
 
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AmyD said:
She does not even go to church anymore.
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That’s really telling. It is not really in your power to do anything at the point. A sense of awareness is an important skill to have when evangelizing.
HomeschoolDad said:
If you ever feel like you can discuss it with her, the time will be right and the words will come.
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Is there a reason to believe improvisation will work? Talking about sensitive subjects requires carefully selected words.
 
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AmyD said:
I just feel lost as to what happened.
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It wasn’t you, or anything you said or did. People get disillusioned and discouraged with the Faith all the time. I know I certainly do. Some people don’t have the strength, or clarity of mind, or what have you, to know how to deal with those feelings, and they end up making bad decisions.
 
Sometimes things can heated and a lack of preparation can lead to that, so I just want to make sure.
 
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