Situation update - thanks for the prayers!

[mikeasu]

First off, I posted last week with a prayer request for my wife and my situation - thanks so much, everyone for the prayers! Really helped - esp. from Paradoxy:

Praying that all goes according to God’s plan… which is always more loving to us than our own

The situation is this: We found out (very surprised) DW is pregnant with our 2nd child! (Our first just turned 1). While we’re very excited for the baby, stressed a bit for several reasons. On my wife’s side, the due date is several days before her sister’s wedding in PA - know it’ll hurt if we can’t attend. There may well be a valid reason to induce slightly early - our son was at, what’s the term, -1 for a month - low, just would not come - ended up several days overdue before we induced - at 8lbs 3.4 oz, and my wife being petite…well, the doc’s first words when my son arrived was “LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT HEAD!!!”.

At any rate, big picture, the wedding situation is minor. More of a stressor right now to me, is the moving prospect. We’d been planning on moving to the east coast towards the end of this year/early next. We’re in AZ now, 90 min from my parents, her family is in PA, like I mentioned. We’ve always planned on eventually trying to get out east. Tried in '04, had a good offer from a DC company, but the cost of living was just too high. We’re trying to make it as a single income family, DC just would not have worked. At any rate, found a good possibility in MD. The stress on my end is in part, I think just being in this “limbo” state - serious about trying (instead of it being a far-off thing), and until we get out there (or discover if we can’t), stressful position to be in. Good time, job-wise for me to try a change in employer, the hardest part is leaving my folks - they’re taking it a little hard, esp. my dad, but none of our folks had their respective parents cross country - so it’s a new situation for everyone to deal with.

On a more positive note, met with our NFP coach yesterday ( we’re Creighton method users). This pregnancy was a total surprise, as we were using the method to avoid pregnancy at this time. Was just a little close to ovulation time - had been 3 months since DW totally stopped breastfeeding, so her last cycle had shortened back closer to where she was pre-baby. At any rate - we were surprised, but still planning on continuing with the method - we had a good explanation of, not “what went wrong”, since the baby sure isn’t “wrong” - but have a better understanding of what most likely happened and reasonably confident we could space the third if we so decide.

Guess I’m looking at this as God having a reason for this. Like wifey said when we were still “in shock” - “one month earlier, one month later, would’ve been fine” (refering to sister’s wedding). It will sure kick me into gear trying to make this move or not - we figured we’d try the move as part of upgrading to a bigger house, (of course, now we could really use the bigger house…)so if it works in MD, we go, if not, we’d be committing to Tucson for a few more years if we upsized here. And, most importantly, we aren’t even stressed about the baby his/herself (supposedly, DEFINITELY a “HER” according to our NFP coach) - we’re VERY excited. It’s just the rest of the “upheaval”, and the family changes, esp. my folks and the distance.

Anyway, thanks again for the prayers, can always use them! Very happy to have found this board!

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

First off, I posted last week with a prayer request for my wife and my situation - thanks so much, everyone for the prayers! Really helped - esp. from Paradoxy:

The situation is this: We found out (very surprised) DW is pregnant with our 2nd child! (Our first just turned 1). While we’re very excited for the baby, stressed a bit for several reasons. On my wife’s side, the due date is several days before her sister’s wedding in PA - know it’ll hurt if we can’t attend. There may well be a valid reason to induce slightly early - our son was at, what’s the term, -1 for a month - low, just would not come - ended up several days overdue before we induced - at 8lbs 3.4 oz, and my wife being petite…well, the doc’s first words when my son arrived was “LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT HEAD!!!”.

At any rate, big picture, the wedding situation is minor. More of a stressor right now to me, is the moving prospect. We’d been planning on moving to the east coast towards the end of this year/early next. We’re in AZ now, 90 min from my parents, her family is in PA, like I mentioned. We’ve always planned on eventually trying to get out east. Tried in '04, had a good offer from a DC company, but the cost of living was just too high. We’re trying to make it as a single income family, DC just would not have worked. At any rate, found a good possibility in MD. The stress on my end is in part, I think just being in this “limbo” state - serious about trying (instead of it being a far-off thing), and until we get out there (or discover if we can’t), stressful position to be in. Good time, job-wise for me to try a change in employer, the hardest part is leaving my folks - they’re taking it a little hard, esp. my dad, but none of our folks had their respective parents cross country - so it’s a new situation for everyone to deal with.

On a more positive note, met with our NFP coach yesterday ( we’re Creighton method users). This pregnancy was a total surprise, as we were using the method to avoid pregnancy at this time. Was just a little close to ovulation time - had been 3 months since DW totally stopped breastfeeding, so her last cycle had shortened back closer to where she was pre-baby. At any rate - we were surprised, but still planning on continuing with the method - we had a good explanation of, not “what went wrong”, since the baby sure isn’t “wrong” - but have a better understanding of what most likely happened and reasonably confident we could space the third if we so decide.

Guess I’m looking at this as God having a reason for this. Like wifey said when we were still “in shock” - “one month earlier, one month later, would’ve been fine” (refering to sister’s wedding). It will sure kick me into gear trying to make this move or not - we figured we’d try the move as part of upgrading to a bigger house, (of course, now we could really use the bigger house…)so if it works in MD, we go, if not, we’d be committing to Tucson for a few more years if we upsized here. And, most importantly, we aren’t even stressed about the baby his/herself (supposedly, DEFINITELY a “HER” according to our NFP coach) - we’re VERY excited. It’s just the rest of the “upheaval”, and the family changes, esp. my folks and the distance.

Anyway, thanks again for the prayers, can always use them! Very happy to have found this board!

Congratulations!! Very insipring story, thanks for sharing. My DW is pregnant currently with #4 and we could not be happier. We use the same method and have the utmost confidence in it! I think that it is awesome that you are trying to do all of this on one income. Good for you! We are the same way, my wife stays at home. Easy? Nope. Worth it? More than you can ever imagine!!

 

[mikeasu]

I think that it is awesome that you are trying to do all of this on one income. Good for you! We are the same way, my wife stays at home. Easy? Nope. Worth it? More than you can ever imagine!!

Thanks, that means a lot! I know people pull off doing it on one income who aren’t as blessed as we’ve been. I’m an engineer, as is/was my wife, and for the 2-3 years we were DINKs, we were smart - paid off the cars, refi’d the house to a 15yr fixed at 5%, put some in savings. Lived nice, but not too extravagantly - weren’t really on a budget. Before she quit working, we laid out a budget and really try to stick to it - so far, and it’s been over a year, we’re doing just fine. Of course, the one-income constraint severely limits where we could consider moving to - I work in defense. The DC area is flat out still - to find a decent area to raise a family, I’d either be too far out, commute-wise, or get into way too much debt - or both. Planning on sending a resume to Aberdeen Proving Grounds in MD - lots of hiring, my kind of work. One town nearby there, in particular caught my eye - Havre de Grace. Seems to be a good match with the APG job salaries + real estate in the nearby area.

Still going to be hard on my folks, but then, my wife has been out of her household (counting college) for 10 years - figure it’s time to try getting her closer to hers. Heck - it’s biblical - the scripture about the husband leaving his parents and he and his wife become one - that was one of our wedding readings as I recall. (sorry for the bad quotation )In a way, she had to choose our family (me and her + future kids) over her family when we turned down the previous job. I’ll be doing the same this go-around, esp. if it turns out to be an overall improvement for our family - better schools, climate, lower crime, etc.

Always glad to hear about other NFP users. Like I said, without TMI, we were very surprised, since we were playing by the rules - just got too close apparantly - one more day before ovulation, and doubt we’d be pregnant. But, we know what to watch for now - planning to stick with it.

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

Thanks, that means a lot! I know people pull off doing it on one income who aren’t as blessed as we’ve been. I’m an engineer, as is/was my wife, and for the 2-3 years we were DINKs, we were smart - paid off the cars, refi’d the house to a 15yr fixed at 5%, put some in savings. Lived nice, but not too extravagantly - weren’t really on a budget. Before she quit working, we laid out a budget and really try to stick to it - so far, and it’s been over a year, we’re doing just fine. Of course, the one-income constraint severely limits where we could consider moving to - I work in defense. The DC area is flat out still - to find a decent area to raise a family, I’d either be too far out, commute-wise, or get into way too much debt - or both. Planning on sending a resume to Aberdeen Proving Grounds in MD - lots of hiring, my kind of work. One town nearby there, in particular caught my eye - Havre de Grace. Seems to be a good match with the APG job salaries + real estate in the nearby area.

Still going to be hard on my folks, but then, my wife has been out of her household (counting college) for 10 years - figure it’s time to try getting her closer to hers. Heck - it’s biblical - the scripture about the husband leaving his parents and he and his wife become one - that was one of our wedding readings as I recall. (sorry for the bad quotation )In a way, she had to choose our family (me and her + future kids) over her family when we turned down the previous job. I’ll be doing the same this go-around, esp. if it turns out to be an overall improvement for our family - better schools, climate, lower crime, etc.

Always glad to hear about other NFP users. Like I said, without TMI, we were very surprised, since we were playing by the rules - just got too close apparantly - one more day before ovulation, and doubt we’d be pregnant. But, we know what to watch for now - planning to stick with it.

Forgot to mention, welcome to CAF!! This place is amazing and I have learned a lot here and met a lot of great people here. My wife and I (she is on CAF as well) have met some great friends that we talk with on IM and she has even met someone that lives near us. CAF got us through a few months that I had to be relocated for work, but that is for another day.

I will tell you that it is refreshing to hear someone say that they knew NFP and that they just got too close one day and they now have a new blessing arriving soon. BTW, when is your wife due?

You both sound like you have things moving in the right direction which is great. Again, I find what you have said inspiring. You continual support and advocation of NFP is refreshing as well. PM me anytime. Always good to communicate with pro-NFP fathers!!

 

[mikeasu]

I will tell you that it is refreshing to hear someone say that they knew NFP and that they just got too close one day and they now have a new blessing arriving soon. BTW, when is your wife due?

My wife is due around March 2nd I believe. As far as “knowing NFP” - quite honestly, we were truly surprised - by observation and rules, we weren’t skirting the system - we knew we were close to the end of the pre-peak non-fertile phase, and were um…interrupted the previous night by our son who wouldn’t sleep… So - still planning on sticking with the method, but not quite as confident as we were.

And thanks for the welcome! I like these boards quite a bit!

 

[Mirror_Mirror]

My wife is due around March 2nd I believe. As far as “knowing NFP” - quite honestly, we were truly surprised - by observation and rules, we weren’t skirting the system - we knew we were close to the end of the pre-peak non-fertile phase, and were um…interrupted the previous night by our son who wouldn’t sleep… So - still planning on sticking with the method, but not quite as confident as we were.

And thanks for the welcome! I like these boards quite a bit!

Too funny about your son! I can understand the “frustrations” on that.

Hey come check us out on this thread…Just a fun thread…post and have fun.

 

[Eliza10]

Just a note about Maryland - My friend was telling me about another mom from violin class - they live in a nice suburban house here (worth aout 175K) with nice neighborhood, nice yard, superior schools, and close to everything but the husband’s Maryland job; he has been commuting home weekends. So they are moving there, but the best they can do for housing is a small condo 45 min. from his job, in a large condo community, and it will cost them 500K! Plus big taxes, and condo fees. She is a stay at home Mom now who takes her kids to lessons and soccer and library and playground and volunteers in their school, but will have to go back to work fulltime to afford the small condo. What a lifestyle change. So in case you haven’t checked out the cost of living where you want to move, don’t forget to do that!

 

[mikeasu]

So they are moving there, but the best they can do for housing is a small condo 45 min. from his job, in a large condo community, and it will cost them 500K! Plus big taxes, and condo fees.

Sounds like DC…like I said, that area is flat out. God bless my wife, as much as she wants to get closer to her folks, we’re both in agreement we’d only move if ultimately, it was better for our family. Not moving if we have to get into an unhealthy amount of debt, or a 2 hour commute, etc (reasons we turned down the DC job in '04)…and don’t think she’s ready to consider going back to work. We’ll see. But, been keeping my eye on the areas near APG for a while now, doing the research - IF I land a job there, I think the cost of living will be reasonable enough.

 

[MaryB23]

Hi Mike! Congratulations on your upcoming baby!

Your situation sounds kind of similar to ours a couple years ago. Our kids are even closer than yours will be, though. Our oldest DS was 4 months old when I found out I was pregnant with DS#2. We hadn’t had any NFP instruction at that point and I wasn’t nursing so that’s why he came so quickly.

His due date was Feb. 13 and my brother was getting married on Feb. 7. We knew we could no longer be in the wedding and it turned out we couldn’t even go. Eric was born on Feb. 4.

My boys are so close to each other. They argue and fight sometimes but they play together all the time. They are 3 and 4 now. It was hard at first but they’ll always have each other so that’s so good.

 

[paradoxy]

Mike, congratulations!!! I didn’t see this thread before!

I’ll pray that everything goes well. And it WILL - it seems babies have a way of arranging everything to perfection by the time they arrive, so all the worries usually prove silly then. Don’t let your wife worry! All the best to you!