M
mandajane
Guest
I don’t know how to handle this, and I’m looking for advice.
My father left us when I was very young, leaving my mother to care for two toddlers on her own, because he wanted to run off with my babysitter.
Anyway, after they got married, she told him she didn’t want stepchildren, and he stopped contacting me, or seeing me.
It has really messed with me, growing up without a supportive father figure, but I think I managed better than I could have.
Here’s my problem. I found out last night that my father has been in contact with my younger brother, because he and his wife never had a boy, and my brother is his only son. My brother has tried to get him to call me, but my father apparently told him he “Doesn’t need a daughter,” and his “life would have been better if she hadn’t been born.”
I don’t know what to do or how to feel about this. I spent years desperate for approval from men, hiding my face at parents’ day, avoiding father-daughter dances, and crying myself to sleep in self pity. I eventually got mostly past it, though recently those feelings became dredged up, as I’m planning my own wedding, and need to find someone to walk me down the aisle, or walk it alone (i am considering asking my brother). And now this?
I am really lost and confused right now. I don’t know how to react, because my first instinct is to harden myself up and just say “He doesn’t want me around? Well **** him!” I know that’s not a christian attitude, though.
Any advice?
My father left us when I was very young, leaving my mother to care for two toddlers on her own, because he wanted to run off with my babysitter.
Anyway, after they got married, she told him she didn’t want stepchildren, and he stopped contacting me, or seeing me.
It has really messed with me, growing up without a supportive father figure, but I think I managed better than I could have.
Here’s my problem. I found out last night that my father has been in contact with my younger brother, because he and his wife never had a boy, and my brother is his only son. My brother has tried to get him to call me, but my father apparently told him he “Doesn’t need a daughter,” and his “life would have been better if she hadn’t been born.”
I don’t know what to do or how to feel about this. I spent years desperate for approval from men, hiding my face at parents’ day, avoiding father-daughter dances, and crying myself to sleep in self pity. I eventually got mostly past it, though recently those feelings became dredged up, as I’m planning my own wedding, and need to find someone to walk me down the aisle, or walk it alone (i am considering asking my brother). And now this?
I am really lost and confused right now. I don’t know how to react, because my first instinct is to harden myself up and just say “He doesn’t want me around? Well **** him!” I know that’s not a christian attitude, though.
Any advice?