Skipping school with parent's permission

[Et_Cetera]

I don’t know about school policy, but I will say my experiences with this as a teacher were almost universally negative - mostly because students never bothered to do the makeup work (or asked for it - they’d just disappear for a week and I’d have no idea why, and neither would the school.)

When I was growing up (and this was in the 90s and aughts, not that long ago) we never went on vacation during the school year. Personally I would view it as discourteous and not in line with putting a high value on education at home. Then again, everywhere I attended had lengthy (at least a week) breaks several times during the year. Where I live now it seems like they cram all the school days as close together as possible so there can be a longer summer.

I think this is fairly rude and presumptuous. Perhaps this family couldn’t go on vacation at any other time. I missed school when my family wanted to take trips, and though it was never excessive, it wasn’t a problem. During my senior year of high school, my parents let me take a lot of “personal days” because when you really get down to it, a lot of time is wasted in high school, the work load is not really that large (even if it might seem so at the time). You can catch up fairly quickly if you’re already a decent student. I never had less than a 4.0 during all of my high school days, and people were sometimes surprised that such a “good student” would skip for weekend trips and things. But hey, I still got the work done.

OP: Go and have a nice time with your family. You’re not going to miss a lot during four days of high school, but someday you’ll really appreciate those memories of the vacation with your family. Do your make-up work either during the trip or when you get home. It’s not a big issue.

 

[EasterJoy]

A parent can take their kids out of school for this reason. No need to lie. “we are taking a trip” is sufficient.

When the family knows about the absence in advance, it is polite to notify teachers and try to work out how to make up missed work. It is usually up to the teacher whether to elect to accommodate the absence when the absence was elective (rather than due to illness, a death in the family, et cetera).

A high school student ought to notify his or her own teachers, apologize for the inconvenience (even if the absence was not the student’s fault, either, if only to acknowledge that it is a pain to others), and ask what to do about making up work missed due to the absence. Teachers are usually quite accommodating to students who work hard when they are in class, are absent seldom, make a clear effort to do the make-up work on their own, and lessen the inconvenience to their teachers and classmates in whatever way they can. If the student is not a good citizen in the class at other times and presumes that others owe them their time and effort, teachers are usually much less accommodating. It pays to have a good attitude. It really pays to show a good attitude in the first few weeks of school!

 

[gh4]

When I was a kid and when my children were in school, school ended at the end the second of third week of May, and didn’t start again until after Labor Day in September. There was a full 3 month time period and most parents got vacations in during those 3 months. Even so, a few of my friends in school would miss a couple of days at Christmas time or a couple of days during Easter break to go on vacations with their families.

Things are different now. Here where I live, the schools last day of school is mid June and one goes back in 6 weeks and the other one in 8 weeks. There is far less time now for parents to get their time off and go on vacation with their children. So I can see where sometimes missing a few days of school would be necessary. And I agree that a good vacation can be a huge learning experience for children.

So, to the OP, go and have a great time with your family. School is important, but family is also VERY important as well.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

If my kids skip school I only have to slip one by the principal…

My wife.

I hope I get sent to the office…

Homeschooling is cool!

 

[PaulGH]

So my mom has planned a family vacation that will take place during the school year and cause me to miss about 4 days of school. I agreed to go initially because I figured it would be some sort of excused absence. It is not. I began to rethink going, but I eventually agreed to go anyways as long as my mom doesn’t lie about where I am (I think she will anyways but I don’t know what I can do about that). I pretty much figured, what are four absences? I probably had four unexcused absences last year just by forgetting to call in sick days. I also figured, truancy aside, this is with complete parental consent so why not?
I literally can’t turn around now because we are leaving tomorrow but I am starting to seriously rethink the morality of this situation. Isn’t this breaking school rules? Isn’t that against something or other? I don’t know. I asked my priest about it when I went to confession today, but he didn’t say anything so…I’m just putting it out here.

Your school may consider this an unexcused absence, but I don’t think you are doing anything wrong because (1) your parents are a higher authority for you than your teachers or your principal, and (2) your parents don’t seem to be abusing their authority by taking you out of school for only four days – assuming that this trip is a once per year kind of thing.

However, as others have said, you will have to work extra hard to catch up on assignments, reading, and anything else you miss. And possibly you may get a zero, or at least a reduced grade, on any tests, quizzes, or homework assignments that you miss, if the absence is considered unexcused. But again, you are following your parents on this, and four days of bad grades will probably not wreck your overall grades, if you are otherwise doing well in school. So I say take the trip with a clear conscience.

 

[manualman]

First look at the philosophy involved. The government increasingly thinks that the kids are THEIRS and that parents have only what rights the government grants them. This is absurd.

Parents are responsible for their children and government schools exist to ASSIST them, not replace them. But when parents wish to alter the educational rhythm of the school they’ve chosen, it becomes that parent’s responsibility to mitigate the lost learning and get the student back up to speed.

So philosophically, a parent needs no permission from any government bureaucrat to take their children on vacation. Choosing to do so, however, does place the responsibility on the parent to make sure the child doesn’t fall behind in learning.

We’ve done this and I’ve found that what kids actually learn in a grade school day takes about an hour and a half a day to completely make up for when individually tutoring. My home schooling friends and family say the same thing which is why they can cover stuff in depth unseen in normal schools.

 

[pensmama87]

I think this is fairly rude and presumptuous. Perhaps this family couldn’t go on vacation at any other time. I missed school when my family wanted to take trips, and though it was never excessive, it wasn’t a problem. During my senior year of high school, my parents let me take a lot of “personal days” because when you really get down to it, a lot of time is wasted in high school, the work load is not really that large (even if it might seem so at the time). You can catch up fairly quickly if you’re already a decent student. I never had less than a 4.0 during all of my high school days, and people were sometimes surprised that such a “good student” would skip for weekend trips and things. But hey, I still got the work done.

OP: Go and have a nice time with your family. You’re not going to miss a lot during four days of high school, but someday you’ll really appreciate those memories of the vacation with your family. Do your make-up work either during the trip or when you get home. It’s not a big issue.

I’m sorry; I didn’t intend to be rude or presumptuous. If a family has no other choice for timing, then that’s just how it is. My experience is colored by many students who didn’t care about school, whose parents didn’t care that they didn’t care about school, and then they just disappeared for a week or more, and never bothered to catch up. As I also said in my post, our school years growing up offered frequent breaks (where I live now that isn’t the case) and it was a lot easier to plan around those. My parents put a very high emphasis on school attendance, as part of their effort to make us value our education. I plan on doing the same. That is more what I meant.

I hear you on the big time-waster that can be the modern school environment. Teachers (well, at least the good ones) hate it too and try to avoid it as much as possible.

 

[EasterJoy]

First look at the philosophy involved. The government increasingly thinks that the kids are THEIRS and that parents have only what rights the government grants them. This is absurd.

Parents are responsible for their children and government schools exist to ASSIST them, not replace them. But when parents wish to alter the educational rhythm of the school they’ve chosen, it becomes that parent’s responsibility to mitigate the lost learning and get the student back up to speed.

So philosophically, a parent needs no permission from any government bureaucrat to take their children on vacation. Choosing to do so, however, does place the responsibility on the parent to make sure the child doesn’t fall behind in learning.

We’ve done this and I’ve found that what kids actually learn in a grade school day takes about an hour and a half a day to completely make up for when individually tutoring. My home schooling friends and family say the same thing which is why they can cover stuff in depth unseen in normal schools.

When students do not show up for class and have to make up work, it is an inconvenience to the instructor. If the student is not there to make their usual contribution to class discussions or group projects, the other students notice the absence, too. That is not to say that no one should ever miss class. By no means! It does mean that it is polite to acknowledge that a chosen absence presents some inconvenience to other people and to do what can be done to mitigate the inconvenience. This is best done by alerting the teacher in advance that an absence is planned. That way, the student can get the assignments done ahead of time or by the time they get back, and as much as possible jump right back into their customary level of classroom participation.

It isn’t about teachers “running your life.” It is about realizing that your choices have consequences for other people besides yourself, and trying to show your gratitude for the people you work with and learn from by inconveniencing them as little as possible when you choose to deviate from what the rest of the group might have expected you’d do. It is expected that there are legitimate reasons for doing it, and few teachers believe that students should never miss class. They do appreciate it when students are considerate about how they take their absences, that’s all.

 

[Avocadomom]

So my mom has planned a family vacation that will take place during the school year and cause me to miss about 4 days of school. I agreed to go initially because I figured it would be some sort of excused absence. It is not. I began to rethink going, but I eventually agreed to go anyways as long as my mom doesn’t lie about where I am (I think she will anyways but I don’t know what I can do about that). I pretty much figured, what are four absences? I probably had four unexcused absences last year just by forgetting to call in sick days. I also figured, truancy aside, this is with complete parental consent so why not?
I literally can’t turn around now because we are leaving tomorrow but I am starting to seriously rethink the morality of this situation. Isn’t this breaking school rules? Isn’t that against something or other? I don’t know. I asked my priest about it when I went to confession today, but he didn’t say anything so…I’m just putting it out here.

No, a vacation is not an excused absence. An excused absence is one that can not be avoided (illness, death in family, urgent dentist appt, etc.) Obviously, parents should do their best to avoid having their kids miss school unnecessarily.

Having said that, most schools tolerate a certain number of unexcused absences. Our school, for example, does not take action against a family until a child has four unexcused absences in one semester. They are much quicker to take action when a child has subpar grades, too.

Looks like you are going on the trip regardless. Just go, have fun, and don’t throw a fit if your teacher doesn’t allow you to make up the work you missed.

 

[EasterJoy]

I’m sorry; I didn’t intend to be rude or presumptuous. If a family has no other choice for timing, then that’s just how it is. My experience is colored by many students who didn’t care about school, whose parents didn’t care that they didn’t care about school, and then they just disappeared for a week or more, and never bothered to catch up. As I also said in my post, our school years growing up offered frequent breaks (where I live now that isn’t the case) and it was a lot easier to plan around those. My parents put a very high emphasis on school attendance, as part of their effort to make us value our education. I plan on doing the same. That is more what I meant.

I hear you on the big time-waster that can be the modern school environment. Teachers (well, at least the good ones) hate it too and try to avoid it as much as possible.

One of the big time-wasters are the flagrant absentees.

Oregon found that there have been an alarming number of students, particularly among low-income students, who miss 10% or more of school days (which adds up to over 3 and a half weeks!) In some schools, the rate of chronic absenteeism is over 25% of students. If 25% of students are gone no less than 10% of the time, that makes it very hard on teachers to bring everyone along as they ought to. They waste a lot of time bringing people up to speed who skip.
oregonlive.com/absent/

That is not the situation of the OP, and the decision about whether the absence is worthwhile does not ultimately rest with the OP, but the OP’s parents. What the OP needs to do, yes, is to make whatever effort he or she can to lessen any negative impact their vacation has on the teachers and other students at their school, whether that is before leaving or after coming back.

Other than that, this student ought to make the most of their out-of-school educational experience. If the main thing accomplished is a closer and fuller relationship with the rest of the family, that’s valuable and nothing to be ashamed of! It would be a huge shame to miss out on that because the student sat around the whole vacation feeling guilty about missing school! The OP should resolve to not do that!

 

[Et_Cetera]

I’m sorry; I didn’t intend to be rude or presumptuous. If a family has no other choice for timing, then that’s just how it is. My experience is colored by many students who didn’t care about school, whose parents didn’t care that they didn’t care about school, and then they just disappeared for a week or more, and never bothered to catch up. As I also said in my post, our school years growing up offered frequent breaks (where I live now that isn’t the case) and it was a lot easier to plan around those. My parents put a very high emphasis on school attendance, as part of their effort to make us value our education. I plan on doing the same. That is more what I meant.

I hear you on the big time-waster that can be the modern school environment. Teachers (well, at least the good ones) hate it too and try to avoid it as much as possible.

No worries.

 

[Book_Worm]

When students do not show up for class and have to make up work, it is an inconvenience to the instructor. If the student is not there to make their usual contribution to class discussions or group projects, the other students notice the absence, too. That is not to say that no one should ever miss class. By no means! It does mean that it is polite to acknowledge that a chosen absence presents some inconvenience to other people and to do what can be done to mitigate the inconvenience. This is best done by alerting the teacher in advance that an absence is planned. That way, the student can get the assignments done ahead of time or by the time they get back, and as much as possible jump right back into their customary level of classroom participation.

It isn’t about teachers “running your life.” It is about realizing that your choices have consequences for other people besides yourself, and trying to show your gratitude for the people you work with and learn from by inconveniencing them as little as possible when you choose to deviate from what the rest of the group might have expected you’d do. It is expected that there are legitimate reasons for doing it, and few teachers believe that students should never miss class. They do appreciate it when students are considerate about how they take their absences, that’s all.

Exactly right.

Additionally, having several students asking for individualized lessons (which is what are necessary when a student is not in class to cover the work) at various times during the year plus the resulting work to correct and grade that work puts a burden on the teacher. For an elementary school teacher who has five or six subjects to cover, that’s a pretty big burden.

 

[aloe]

My mom passed away in my 20’s. She was the best person on earth. Some of my BEST memories in life as a kid are her letting me stay home from school to spend time with her. This includes just being around the house or going somewhere. Every year I missed the maximum days allowed to miss. Education was important but missing wasn’t a big deal in the big scheme of things. I was an excellent student and student athlete. I attended college and graduated with a 4.0 in grad school.
Enjoy your trip. Hang tight to these wonderful memories being made with those who love you. You will have ample time for more school work when you come back and for years to come.

 

[manualman]

When students do not show up for class and have to make up work, it is an inconvenience to the instructor. If the student is not there to make their usual contribution to class discussions or group projects, the other students notice the absence, too. That is not to say that no one should ever miss class. By no means! It does mean that it is polite to acknowledge that a chosen absence presents some inconvenience to other people and to do what can be done to mitigate the inconvenience. …

Precisely the point of the parental responsibility part of my post. Good clarification, thanks.

I’ve yet to have an actual teacher give us lip for it when we bring it up in advance and ask for guidance on what to work on on airplanes or on the road. It was just the tone of some responses I’ve read online to that question that get my dander up.

 

[manualman]

For an elementary school teacher who has five or six subjects to cover, that’s a pretty big burden.

On the contrary, it’s easiest to do at the elementary school level. You ask what will be covered while you’re gone, you work through those chapters and workbook pages and it’s such basic stuff at that age that any semi-educated parent can ensure their kids are understanding it and help them through rough patches.

I’ll certainly grant that it’s a burden if the parents shirk their responsibility, pull kids out, do nothing to ensure they keep up and then expect the teacher to do it upon their return. That’s not just rude, it’s bad parenting.

 

[Book_Worm]

I don’t know any teacher who says, "“we’ll be covering Chapters 8 and 9 in math, pages 200 to 250 in social studies, Chapters 11through 13 in your English grammar book, etc.”. Each subject requires specific assignments that the teacher must prepare and grade. Then, of course, there are separate quizzes and tests that the student misses.

Or at least that’s how it works in my DD’s school. YMMV.

 

[EasterJoy]

Precisely the point of the parental responsibility part of my post. Good clarification, thanks.

I’ve yet to have an actual teacher give us lip for it when we bring it up in advance and ask for guidance on what to work on on airplanes or on the road. It was just the tone of some responses I’ve read online to that question that get my dander up.

When a student is a hard worker and a parent is a good collaborator with the teacher who takes the trouble to express gratitude for what the teacher does, teachers tend to be very accommodating, to the point of considerable self-sacrifice. That has been my experience, with extremely few exceptions. When parents support the laziness or non-engagement of a student and takes a combative attitude towards teachers, not so much. At that point, it is asking the teacher to just lie down a be a doormat. Those are not the majority of parents, either, though.

 

[cjd]

I am assuming that your parents are keeping your best interests in mind when making the decision that you should go. If that is true, you should feel no moral qualms about missing school, no matter what the school says. Your parents are your primary educators, they don’t (and cannot) delegate that responsibility away nor their primary position in that responsibility. The schools have, for a long time, tried to usurp parents authority and responsibility. (It is not always with a bad intent.) Nevertheless, they sometimes forget that they serve the parents, not the other way around.

Enjoy your trip with a light heart.