Skirts and Heels

[masha]

Flyingfish wrote:
There is another thing with women’s clothing. It seems that women will pay extra, to purchase clothing that is scuffed, ripped, and torn, when it is brand new.

I don’t understand that. When articles of my own clothing start to look that way, I don’t wear them. I throw them out.

Am I missing something?

It’s not just women’s clothing, men’s clothes come scuffed up too. I’m not into buying pre-torn clothes, but don’t throw your clothes out just because their worn - it’s good luck to wear slightly torn or worn clothes, shows your not tempting fate with your fancy, brandnew outfits.
I think that clothes that look good, look good. And looking as good as possible in each situation is what we should be going for. So skirts and heels work, so do skirts and sandals, jeans and boots, etc…everything but sweats, which never work.

 

[LilyM]

My wife has permanent nerve damage in her toes from wearing high heels for many years, due to the mandatory dress code at her retail sales job. I think it would be nice if high heels were placed in the same category as cigarettes, with mandatory health warnings and public service announcements.

Thank you. I challenge the OP and any other man who prefers heels to spend a day (or even a few hours) wearing them, even if it’s just around the house when no-one else is looking.

Then tell us that torturing ourselves in that particular way is necessarily God’s will for women.

 

[whatevergirl]

Thank you. I challenge the OP and any other man who prefers heels to spend a day (or even a few hours) wearing them, even if it’s just around the house when no-one else is looking.

the image I have of my husband right now…oh my…that would be funny! Considering I wear a size 7 and he wears a men’s 11! What a sight that would be?!

 

[ahollars]

I am looking and talking about what I wear to church and elsewhere, not others. If the best I have is ragged clothes and sandals, that is great. If, however, I have a nice shirt and tie and maybe a decent looking sports coat, and this is the nicest clothes I have… then I would argue that this is what I should wear to church… because I will be honoring my Creator, Lord and God, Jesus Christ, by giving Him the very best of myself.

Kudos

Sometimes, I wear jeans to Mass, but I always have on a shirt with a collar that is tucked in behind a belt. That’s on another thread, and it was one of my first experiences on this website. This is a touchy subject for me, and I have some clothes that I can still wear that are older than some of my children.

 

[Maria65]

Yet another thread gone horribly awry.

I believe the original post was about women’s dressing sloppily and not creating a good first impression, which is important when one is out looking for a potential spouse. The OP expressed his preference for skirts and heels (which quite a few female posters took to mean extremely high, impractical heels, although that is not actually what he said).

Somehow, as frequently happens here, a bunch of people got their dander up and began protesting, as though the OP were personally attacking their clothing choices. I didn’t see anything in the OP about mothers of large families, or what people were wearing to church. It sounded like he was bemoaning the lack of young ladies who dress nicely and make a nice impression. I hear the same complaint frequently from my own son.

I thought politics and religion were the two topics that made people fighting mad. Around here, it seems to be clothes. Lighten up, will ya?

 

[Magickman]

LilyM has issued a challenge:

“I challenge the OP and any other man who prefers heels to spend a day (or even a few hours) wearing them, even if it’s just around the house when no-one else is looking.”

It may be setting me up for ridicule, or worse, but I could win that bet. At the social dance club events that I frequent, I do just that. I have my own pairs of size nine fashion boots with heels of 4", which I wear for dancing with the ladies. Yes, it takes some concentration to maintain my balance, but I can handle it. After a few hours of dancing, though, my feet do sometimes get tired.

Dancing, especially fast dancing, in heels, is a challenge. It can be done, however, even by a man.

 

[Bluegoat]

Other than very low heels, they really aren’t very good for your feet. That goes for men’s heels too. Although there are a few kinds of utilitarian heels, like cowboy boots.

 

[chevalier]

Thank you. I challenge the OP and any other man who prefers heels to spend a day (or even a few hours) wearing them, even if it’s just around the house when no-one else is looking.

Then tell us that torturing ourselves in that particular way is necessarily God’s will for women.

I’m happy to oblige! I’ve done 5 weeks of some 6 hour per day rehab exercise where you had to be on your toes as long as you weren’t lying down (which wasn’t that frequent). That’s basically heels without solid support for your own heel.

I agree with Magickman that women seem to try hard not to look good or feminine. I lament this fact woefully, but if this is the times, then so be it. I will collect my part of the experience of living in the early 21st century.

As for the rest of arguments, I’ll try to be as gentle as I can. Certainly, conveying an appropriate message via clothing style (and I mean choices, not necessities, like poverty or work or whatever) does lend credence to a woman’s pretence of being a lady and wanting to be treated as such. It is not true that noticing the clothes at all is shallow - our grannies were not shallow when they wanted us clean, combed and ironed.

Now to the younger of our female readers, I will offer advice from my own experience with the way I perceive people. I often notice what a boost a girl can get from just doing her hair (or even from just combing it and having a nice cut - but by nice I don’t mean fashionable; I mean one that doesn’t look like a rebellion against the system, i.e. worse than hair allowed to grow on its own). I will give her full credit for taking the 15 minutes to do that. As regards clothes, I instantly become happier about the world when I see a nice ladies coat instead of another gangsta product inspired by the street war cliche. Seeing a dress somewhere out there makes my day and a nice dress on a young girl has the, “I have something to live for,” effect on me. Then there are scarves and blouses and lace finishings and shirts with frills… Where’s all that gone? Even “good old” jeans (nice, not tattered, not washed and worn from factory, not 1-2 sizes too small, no backside pockets on the front, no underwear sticking out) and sweater are a rarity these days.

However, I see improvement. Either my age category is growing up or people are taking after mother and father.

 

[whatevergirl]

I agree with Magickman that women seem to try hard not to look good or feminine. I lament this fact woefully, but if this is the times, then so be it. I will collect my part of the experience of living in the early 21st century.

*Oh my…where are you and Magickman hanging out anyways? lol I dress femininely, and I see femininely dressed women everywhere. Maybe you and Magic need to branch out a bit. Women are also more than the sum total of outfits, heels, and hairdos… Sometimes these threads have a tone of…objectification in them. Like if only ‘they’ would do this or that. Lumping women into this broad category. When I was single, I never wanted to a guy I was dating to say…‘I like when a woman does this or that to her hair,’ etc…that was a surefire way to end things with me. Nothing wrong with liking certain outward things about a woman, but be careful to not make it look like ‘all’ women do this or that, or ‘should’ do this or that.

I get the intent of the thread, but just be careful to not make it look like women are the sum total of what they look like, or how they wear their hair. Almost sounds like some men on here wouldn’t even bother to get to know a woman with shorter hair, or who wear pants! *

 

[chevalier]

Things you see in how people act, move, speak, carry themselves, approach others, react to failures or obstacles or things that catch their interest - this demeanor generally defeats anything else.

 

[chevalier]

Oh my…where are you and Magickman hanging out anyways?

Preferably nearer to places of learning than places of shopping and clubbing, but if you think of it, the campus is where many of the bad fashions start.

lol I dress femininely, and I see femininely dressed women everywhere.

You and I gotta talk about definitions, it seems.

Maybe you and Magic need to branch out a bit.

Worry not, my start’s shining bright. I’m the handsomest bachelor around and I handsomely abuse the fact to a handsome degree of satisfaction.

Women are also more than the sum total of outfits, heels, and hairdos…

Hey, the thread’s not about the pain of being!

Lumping women into this broad category.

Show me where I do so. In fact, I didn’t do any categorising in my last post, if you go through it. The very fact that I started discussing clothes and other styles in the area of looks triggered the patriarchal oppression alert. On some days here just mentioning long hair or a dress attracts barrage.

When I was single, I never wanted to a guy I was dating to say…‘I like when a woman does this or that to her hair,’ etc…that was a surefire way to end things with me.

Sure. As a rule, that’s the stupidest thing to say to a woman. Mostly because it’s insensitive. You obviously don’t use “a” when talking to someone who’s supposed to be special and unique. On the other hand, I don’t think I would take ill to a well-natured, “I like when a man is clean shaven/knows how to impress a lady/wears a nice suit/whatever.” You can hear any objectification in the voice rather than in the verbal content. There’s no really such thing as a surefire way to end things with me (well, within reason, we aren’t talking about things like cheating or abusing animals or whatever) because I always want to look at the whole picture, but a girl seeming edgy about small things wouldn’t make things easier for me.

Nothing wrong with liking certain outward things about a woman, but be careful to not make it look like ‘all’ women do this or that, or ‘should’ do this or that.

I don’t think we would need that caveat in a topic about suits and ties or in the one about facial hair on men, in fact, and so we don’t need one here, either. Not any mention of fashions or styles needs reminders that there’s more to a woman than outward looks.

I get the intent of the thread, but just be careful to not make it look like women are the sum total of what they look like, or how they wear their hair.

I think women are just as smart and educated readers as men are, so they should be able to get a gist of the general intent.

Almost sounds like some men on here wouldn’t even bother to get to know a woman with shorter hair, or who wear pants!

Depends. When you’re saying, “short hair and pants,” you think about just two exclusively physical aspects and in that sense I agree with you, but when I’m hearing, “short hair and pants,” I immediately think, “why? and what else?” Plus, you must realise that not considering someone as a potential romantic partner does not mean rejecting someone as a friend or as a person. Besides, aren’t women the harshest judges of women - and for the shallowest reasons?

 

[whatevergirl]

Depends. When you’re saying, “short hair and pants,” you think about just two exclusively physical aspects and in that sense I agree with you, but when I’m hearing, “short hair and pants,” I immediately think, “why? and what else?” Plus, you must realise that not considering someone as a potential romantic partner does not mean rejecting someone as a friend or as a person. Besides, aren’t women the harshest judges of women - and for the shallowest reasons?

* And there ya have it…nah, you don’t generlize, chev. *

 

[Ailina]

LilyM has issued a challenge:

“I challenge the OP and any other man who prefers heels to spend a day (or even a few hours) wearing them, even if it’s just around the house when no-one else is looking.”

It may be setting me up for ridicule, or worse, but I could win that bet. At the social dance club events that I frequent, I do just that. I have my own pairs of size nine fashion boots with heels of 4", which I wear for dancing with the ladies. Yes, it takes some concentration to maintain my balance, but I can handle it. After a few hours of dancing, though, my feet do sometimes get tired.

Dancing, especially fast dancing, in heels, is a challenge. It can be done, however, even by a man.

I have NEVER seen a man wear 4 inch heels, unless they were members of the band KIss and wore those ridiculous platform shoes that were all the rage back in the late 1970s. Surely you’re not wearing such shoes? If so, I feel sorry for your dance mates because you wouldn’ t know whether you are stepping on their toes or not.

I have never worn four inch heels either. When I was young, we called them something quite rude because they are worn for sexual luring and nothing else. High heels are all about sex appeal, because they force a woman to push out her breasts and bum out in an arching manner. They are all about sex.

Heels are the most impractical inventions that cause all kinds of foot, knee and back damage. I think the high heels that are in style are in the category as the old lotus shoes that women used to wear. They are meant to keep us helpless and dependent. They are also worn for pure vanity.

I like to walk so you will not find me wearing heels. I used to wear them up until this past spring, when I realized they were causing foot damage that kept me from doing the outdoorsy stuff I love to do best. My mother missed my first communion because her three or four inch heel (which all women wore back in the 1960s) caught on the door as it shut, and she ended up taking a nasty tumble down the concrete steps. She was in terrible pain and I remember missing her presence at a very special mass.

 

[Bataar]

As a man with Aspergers that features heightened senses, I dress for comfort. Unless I’m going to an event like a wedding or job interview, I won’t wear clothing that feels like sandpaper on my skin (dress shirts, tight collars, cuffs, etc).

 

[shannyk]

:ehh:…again with this…it’s getting old.

 

[livnlern]

Skirts and heels are fine for short periods of time IMO. It can be fun to dress up and be girly with all the makeup and jewelry, but who wants to do that all the time? Who has the time? And high heels? Aside from Magikman (and I give him credit for his 4 inch heels!), how many men have ever experienced what it’s like to walk around in heels?
My family and I were on vacation last summer and were visiting the site of an old fort next to the ocean. It was very windy and my dd, who likes to wear skirts had on a hippy-style ankle length one at the time. She had to grab onto her skirt and hold it down to keep it from blowing over her head. How stylish is this? How modest?
I, on the other hand, was wearing bermuda shorts and was perfectly comfortable.
My point is that skirts and heels have their place just like jeans and shorts have theirs. As a woman, I want to be comfortable most of the time and be able to move and sit without worrying about possibly exposing anything.

 

[Magickman]

In post #45, Maria65 is right on target.

*"Yet another thread gone horribly awry.

I believe the original post was about women’s dressing sloppily and not creating a good first impression, which is important when one is out looking for a potential spouse. The OP expressed his preference for skirts and heels (which quite a few female posters took to mean extremely high, impractical heels, although that is not actually what he said).

Somehow, as frequently happens here, a bunch of people got their dander up and began protesting, as though the OP were personally attacking their clothing choices. I didn’t see anything in the OP about mothers of large families, or what people were wearing to church. It sounded like he was bemoaning the lack of young ladies who dress nicely and make a nice impression. I hear the same complaint frequently from my own son.

I thought politics and religion were the two topics that made people fighting mad. Around here, it seems to be clothes. Lighten up, will ya? "*

Everyone is free to choose their clothing , shoes, and personal style.

Whatever your style is, try to look your best!

 

[Maria65]

In post #45, Maria65 is right on target.

*"Yet another thread gone horribly awry.

I believe the original post was about women’s dressing sloppily and not creating a good first impression, which is important when one is out looking for a potential spouse. The OP expressed his preference for skirts and heels (which quite a few female posters took to mean extremely high, impractical heels, although that is not actually what he said).

Somehow, as frequently happens here, a bunch of people got their dander up and began protesting, as though the OP were personally attacking their clothing choices. I didn’t see anything in the OP about mothers of large families, or what people were wearing to church. It sounded like he was bemoaning the lack of young ladies who dress nicely and make a nice impression. I hear the same complaint frequently from my own son.

I thought politics and religion were the two topics that made people fighting mad. Around here, it seems to be clothes. Lighten up, will ya? "*

Everyone is free to choose their clothing , shoes, and personal style.

Whatever your style is, try to look your best!

Thank you, Magickman. I was beginning to think no one had even read my post.

Sometimes I feel like a voice crying in the wilderness!

 

[chevalier]

Everyone is free to choose their clothing , shoes, and personal style.

Whatever your style is, try to look your best!

As a rule yeah, but some styles rely on not looking your best. That’s fine; actually, everyone needs a rest from time to time, but some styles rely on offending established customs and tastes and, well, just trying to offend people. Or trying to exalt ugliness (the styles which rely on purposeful mismatching). Some others are as sloppy as underwear sticking out in public. That’s not fine. All in all, if I were to put it in one sentence, I would say that people need to get their act together.

Thank you, Magickman. I was beginning to think no one had even read my post.

Sometimes I feel like a voice crying in the wilderness!

Nah, I could sign whatever you said. Except that I have no son (let’s hear the sigh of relief ). You were point on when noticing that the OP didn’t mean anything extreme (i.e. no short skirts, no very high heels), point on when you said he didn’t speak about situations which require comfort and so on.

Anyway, my impression is that people these days don’t want to look pretty and looking ugly is in fashion. I swear it makes me feel like we’re going through a phase of turpism. I have a huge deal of issues with that. It’s part of the world turning upside down. People don’t want to be nice, people don’t want to be pretty. Being “badass” or disturbed is the fashion.

 

[mouse_has_faith]

Does this “skirts and heels” thing run both ways? I mean, where’s the thread talking about men in suits and ties?

No-one realistically expects men to wear suits and ties as they go about their daily business, whether it be work or casual. Yet for some reason there’s an expectation for women to wear skirts and heels? The sexist double-standard is mind-boggling, and that quote someone posted earlier, about the young man who only held doors open for the woman wearing a skirt… wow, what a horrible, nasty and superficial guy he was.