Sleeping where a person just died

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When my former wife’s father died, I watched them carry him in a black bag into the truck. It was my birthday, but her night was probably worse. So, she was sad and asked me to sleep in her fathers bed where he died a few hours earlier. I did, feeling bad for her. Is that spiritually harmful?
 
Wow, you are an accommodating person. There aren’t a lot of people who would do that, even though there isn’t anything inherently dangerous about it. (Well, provided he didn’t die of some horrible disease of unknown origin.)

No, there is nothing wrong with it, although it would be strange for someone to want to. There is nothing strange about having a strange request on the day your father dies, though, I suppose. You’re a nice fellow and I hope your wife appreciates that you really would do anything to make her happy, or even just a little bit less sad.
 
CatholicSpirit said:
When my former wife’s father died, I watched them carry him in a black bag into the truck. It was my birthday, but her night was probably worse. So, she was sad and asked me to sleep in her fathers bed where he died a few hours earlier. I did, feeling bad for her. Is that spiritually harmful?
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Not at all. One must be careful to distinguish between superstition and spiritually harmful actions. (For example, if she had asked you to attend a seance and conjure up his spirit, that would be spiritually harmful.)
 
CatholicSpirit said:
When my former wife’s father died, I watched them carry him in a black bag into the truck. It was my birthday, but her night was probably worse. So, she was sad and asked me to sleep in her fathers bed where he died a few hours earlier. I did, feeling bad for her. Is that spiritually harmful?
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I don’t think it’s spiritually anything. This happens in hospitals often.
I do think it’s an incredibly unhealthy and odd requests . That would concern me more…
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
I don’t think it’s spiritually anything. This happens in hospitals often.
I do think it’s an incredibly unhealthy and odd requests . That would concern me more…
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Why do you think so?
My grandfather died last year after a long battle with cancer and I slept on the floor beside the bed where his body was laid out for three days. We were very close. I’d often have slept in his room when he was alive. The family were happy that someone was “keeping him company” at all times.
I found the time I spent there really helped me to deal with the grief.

Obviously there are different approaches to death around the world. My wife, who’s Latvian wasn’t used to the Irish custom of laying out the body at home for a few days before the funeral, with all the grandkids and family friends coming in and out.

In Ireland we wouldn’t find the OP’s situation odd at all. In fact it’s our Catholic culture that gives us such an approach to death.
 
Spiritually unhealthy, no. Uncomfortable for most people, yes.
 
When my mom died in her sleep, i slept on her bed that night (ok and a few years…up to now lol) It did not struck me as weird. But then again, I was 15 and she was my mom. I didn’t tell anyone to sleep on her bed. When you said she asked you to sleep on his bed, did you mean the both of you? That doesn’t sound weird at all. She probably wanted to feel close to him. If it’s just you…a little weird. But not wrong.
 
An empty house would have been lonely for her. It was kind to keep her company.
 
CatholicSpirit said:
When my former wife’s father died, I watched them carry him in a black bag into the truck. It was my birthday, but her night was probably worse. So, she was sad and asked me to sleep in her fathers bed where he died a few hours earlier. I did, feeling bad for her. Is that spiritually harmful?
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People in hospitals do that all the time. God Bless, Memaw
 
AdamPeter said:
Why do you think so?
My grandfather died last year after a long battle with cancer and I slept on the floor beside the bed where his body was laid out for three days. We were very close. I’d often have slept in his room when he was alive. The family were happy that someone was “keeping him company” at all times.
I found the time I spent there really helped me to deal with the grief.
wive
Obviously there are different approaches to death around the world. My wife, who’s Latvian wasn’t used to the Irish custom of laying out the body at home for a few days before the funeral, with all the grandkids and family friends coming in and out.

In Ireland we wouldn’t find the OP’s situation odd at all. In fact it’s our Catholic culture that gives us such an approach to death.
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For some reasons. I had this silly notion that the op was instructed to do this by the wife without the wife being there… that is obviously not the case ion a second reading and it is a sweet thing to do. I would do the same for my wife.
Sorry, I honestly read it wrong, perhaps a “we” would have been helpful.
The poster has some other threads about his ex that may have played a part as well. There were some things that gave pause. But you are right.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
For some reasons. I had this silly notion that the op was instructed to do this by the wife without the wife being there… that is obviously not the case ion a second reading and it is a sweet thing to do. I would do the same for my wife.
Sorry, I honestly read it wrong, perhaps a “we” would have been helpful.
The poster has some other threads about his ex that may have played a part as well. There were some things that gave pause. But you are right.
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Ah…I see.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
For some reasons. I had this silly notion that the op was instructed to do this by the wife without the wife being there… that is obviously not the case ion a second reading and it is a sweet thing to do. I would do the same for my wife.
Sorry, I honestly read it wrong, perhaps a “we” would have been helpful.
The poster has some other threads about his ex that may have played a part as well. There were some things that gave pause. But you are right.
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I missed the full situation on first reading too. With it being an ex, I assume she didn’t want to be alone in the house and that this was the spare bed. I don’t think that’s all that odd. I’d want fresh sheets, but I’d do this for a someone I care about.
 
WingsOfEagles said:
I missed the full situation on first reading too. With it being an ex, I assume she didn’t want to be alone in the house and that this was the spare bed. I don’t think that’s all that odd. I’d want fresh sheets, but I’d do this for a someone I care about.
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It wouldn’t have bothered me one bit to sleep in the same place where my Mom spent her last moments but she died in a hospital. Death is an important part of life. Eternal Life!!! God Bless, Memaw
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
For some reasons. I had this silly notion that the op was instructed to do this by the wife without the wife being there… that is obviously not the case ion a second reading and it is a sweet thing to do. I would do the same for my wife.
Sorry, I honestly read it wrong, perhaps a “we” would have been helpful.
The poster has some other threads about his ex that may have played a part as well. There were some things that gave pause. But you are right.
Click to expand...
I read it the same way, because he wrote “asked me to sleep in her father’s bed” rather than “asked if we could sleep in her father’s bed” or “my wife decided to sleep in her father’s bed and asked if I would join her.” It sounded as if his wife wanted someone there, but for some reason not her. (I thought perhaps she needed to be home with their children, or something, and didn’t like the idea of her dad’s spirit rattling around alone in his old house before departing for good?)

That’s why I thought it was a generous thing–that is, to be willing to sleep alone in an empty house on your birthday instead of sleeping with your wife, precisely in order to be in the bed where someone died, just because your wife thought she’d feel less upset that way.
 
Memaw said:
People in hospitals do that all the time. God Bless, Memaw
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True. It is the desire to be in the bed where a death occurred that is a bit odd. Obviously beds and rooms where a death occurred are not usually re-purposed for something other than use as a bed and a bedroom or sick room. Those things are usually sent right back to work.
 
Thanks for the replies, I’m glad I did it for her (and yes, we both slept there)
 
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