Slipping Away...

[jeanne71350]

Hi there,

I am being faced with a ton of life problems right now. Well, I am about to graduate high school in about 2 weeks, and I am going to college which is about 5 hrs away from my hometown. I put this decision to the Lord, and I know that this is the college that I am meant to be at. I am so at peace with this decision. But, there is just so much going on in my life right now. My dad has Parkinson’s disease. My parents never told me anything about his illness, they kept it secret from me for a long time until I was about 15. He seems to be getting worse and he is having surgery over the summer to relieve his symptoms. My parents are still continuing to keep me out of the picture, even though I am not a child anymore, I’m 18. I feel like I should and that I want to help. I have never seen or thought about my dad being seriously sick, so this worries me. I don’t know how to handle seeing him that way. My mom is stressed about it, and she is picking fights with me about stupid stuff and she yells at me for stupid stuff to get her stress out, and that upsets me. My life is just a mile a minuite. Teachers piling in last amounts of work, preparations for college, graduation stuff, parties, family, friends, and on top of this the whole buisness with my dad. I’m just losing myself in all of it. I feel like I’m losing my faith. Like, the one thing I love and the one time that is my time and which brings me happiness and strength to get through the day is Daily Mass. With all the insanity in my life, I’m starting to have to cut it which makes me sad. I still say the rosary every day, but sometimes I feel like its not good enough or I forget to do it then I say 2 rosaries the next day. I feel distant from Mass because my mind is running a mile a minuite. I am really, really excited for the end of the year festivities and graduation, but I’m starting to become depressed, almost, because all of this stuff is taking a toll on me. I don’t know what to do. I do not have a good relationship with my parents to talk to them about my feelings. I don’t know how to deal with any of this. I need advice. Thank you. Anything is appreciated

God bless,
Jeanne

 

[erine]

I know what it’s like to have a lot of crises going on, and I spend a lot of time offering up my suffering united with Jesus’s on the cross, and surrendering everything to Jesus. Staying close to Him at all times.

Hope this helps, I will pray for you

 

[soma]

I am impressed with your maturity for your age. Go within yourself where you are not going to negate the world, but rather put it into focus. When you go away, you will not be separate from your father, but will grow even closer. Your love for your father will grow even if you are far from home. Become what he wants you to become.

 

[Blacksword]

I am very sorry for your Father’s illness. I will say a prayer for you. Faith can carry you through these times…indeed, sometimes faith is all we CAN have to get us through.

 

[Namwalker]

This should be a marvelous time of life for you. Instead it sounds like you are being pulled in many ways and demands are being placed upon you that seem unfair or unreasonable. Your mother to is having demands placed upon her and most probably she is really frightened for both you and your father. Accompanying this is a sense of potential loss of companionship, and most likely is concerned about the prospect of how to continue to take care of you.

Granted you are fast approaching maturity and adulthood and should be ready to take on the full fledged role of an adult. As an adult perhaps you and your mother should have a conversation about the future and your place in it along side her as a partner. You should know that she is always going to be looking at you as a child even when you are married and have children of your own. Each of you needs to come to an acceptance of each other as an adult.

In no way should you allow this trouble to endanger your faith. If it does you can be a long time removed from where you are now. This happened to me and until lately I have felt lost and removed. I too pray the rosary at least twice a day and am asking for forgiveness. Sometimes this forgiveness seems to be just outside of my grasp. I pray that this feeling does not overcome you.

Going to school five hours from your home is not the same as being on the other side of the world. I hope that you have a means to come home and visit your parents from time to time. They will need your presence and comfort. Children are supposed to be a comfort to their parents and I hope that you are. Parents are supposed to be a guide and lamp post for their children. From what I infer from you post it sounds like your’s are.

I lost one of my parents when I was but six, and was always protected from that reality. Parents tend to do that for their children.

Make peace with your parents and enjoy their company while you can. Have a cup of hot chocolate with your mother and have a good heart felt conversation and try to arrive at a meaningful role for both of you in each others life.

I hope that this doesn’t sound corny. I am probably older than your parents and have enough regrets. I know that it may feel like the weight of the world is coming down on you and that life is unfair. It’s really not just complicated. If you are close to a priest, perhaps you could use him as a sounding board before you approach your mother for this conversation.

I wish you all the best that life have to offer, reap all the benefits that you can. I will offer up prayers for you from time to time. Never give up. Adapt and overcome. You will perservere and succeed. Don’t let this beat you down and lose your faith.

 

[Lief_Erikson]

Dear Jeanne,

You mentioned that your Mom sometimes yells at you to relieve herself of stress, and as a result of her pent up feelings. I want to just urge you to be sure not to do the same thing toward God! It sounds to me from your post as though you do truly believe in Him. You are certainly very busy, and you’re having a hard time. But you don’t need to take it out on God by rejecting Him or ceasing to practice your faith. This would only hurt you.

I think you’re doing very well and could really use a break. Do you think it might be possible for you to try to reduce some of your break-neck pace? The parties and friends, or other non-essentials, perhaps you could reduce your involvement in this a little just in order to get some quiet time and some naps, some time for peace and rest?

I don’t know. I just wanted to throw that suggestion out to you.

You might also ask the Lord to give you some more time, some peace to rest in. He is a loving Father and understands your situation, and He might very well answer your prayer. He is surely looking on you with love.

I think you’re doing a great job by holding to your daily rosary and making Daily Mass when you can. You’re doing a really, really good job trying to help your father and fulfill all your responsibilities in the world, while simultaneously trying to stay close to God.

The mental distractions you experience in Mass aren’t really your fault, considering all you’re going through. I find that for me, it helps to clear my mind and ready myself for Mass if I arrive a few minutes early and spend the time in prayer, making mental prayers to the Lord and Mary to prepare my soul to receive the Eucharist, and worshipping Him and readying myself to listen to Him. If you can manage that, it may help you too, to clear your mind and center it on the Lord. This is a major benefit to my spiritual experience in Mass, when I do it.

Perhaps it might help with your workload to try to offer up all these burdens to the Lord, Who bore the Cross up Mount Calvary to you. When you offer up sufferings, struggles or burdens to the Lord, they become prayers, and strong ones. It means much to Him when you love Him even in your sufferings, and offer these in union with His Passion, as prayers. So you can pray through the struggles and sufferings. You are united with Him in His Passion, for the Church is a mystical Body, the Body of Christ, and He is the Head. You are united with Him in this one Body, and can unite your sufferings with Him as prayers, just like when you fast during Lent. In this way, the troubles can become useful to you or others, as prayers, and you also gain from the experience spiritually.

With love in Christ,

Your brother in Him,

Lief

 

[pira114]

I’m feel for ya. But hear this: God will not hand you more than you can carry. He has already given you the strength to deal with it. It’s up to you and your faith to realize your strength.

And I hope this doesn’t sound too harsh, but welcome to life. Sometimes, this is just how it gets.