Sloth or mild depression?

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Student09

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I feel apathetic about my faith life right now. I go to daily Mass in the mornings but I have a hard time getting up, so I’ll end up arriving just as Mass is starting, instead of early. I’m still praying my usual prayers but I put them off; put off going to Adoration; and so on. I’m also putting off other things I have to do, not just the spiritual things. I have random bouts of crying and struggle with feeling sorry for myself. I am trying to motivate myself to go to Confession this afternoon but not sure what to confess or how to confess it and I feel exhausted just thinking about it. Help?
 
Here is a tautology: there are things that you could control and there are things that you cannot control. It would seem that sloth is a vice and within the control of human “free will” while depression may not be amendable to “free will” since imbalances in neurotransmitter levels would overwhelm our faculties.

I am mildly bipolar and I do know how difficult it is for one to be in a state of depression. I personally anticipate that I would become upset and sometimes angry at God and may neglect aspects of my spiritual life, but I hope God, in his mercy, would forgive me in my moments of personal weakness.
 
But how do you tell if it is in your control or not?

Also, if I wait a week before going to confession, is that a sin?
 
I don’t know. I’ve heard of something called acedia…but I am not sure what it is and whether it applies.

Sounds like a good topic for spiritual direction, maybe confession.

I remember once telling a priest in confession that I was thinking that I had a loss of faith. He shot back “You’re here aren’t you!!” Just what I needed, truly.

Maybe mix up your devotions, your approaches to God…find an evening Mass, instead of morning Mass for a week or two. Change your schedule. Don’t quit your commendable approaches to God, but maybe substitute prayers. Do Lectio Divina. Or read 5 min of the Gospel daily. Read about the life of the saints for 15 min a day. Go to a different parish for confession. Talk to God about this specific sense/feeling you have for 10 m a day for a week. Just some thoughts.

I don’t know…but I’d maybe talk to a priest or a good spiritual director.
 
Student09 said:
I feel apathetic about my faith life right now. I go to daily Mass in the mornings but I have a hard time getting up, so I’ll end up arriving just as Mass is starting, instead of early. I’m still praying my usual prayers but I put them off; put off going to Adoration; and so on. I’m also putting off other things I have to do, not just the spiritual things. I have random bouts of crying and struggle with feeling sorry for myself. I am trying to motivate myself to go to Confession this afternoon but not sure what to confess or how to confess it and I feel exhausted just thinking about it. Help?
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I suffer from aytypical major depressive disorder, have been since I was a teen…so, I have been there. There’s also a mild form called dysthymic depression, it’s not so bad that you can’t function, but you have a pervasive sadness, you can’t find joy in anything…honestly, I’d gather to say something’s up…if it interferes with your activities of daily living, you might want to see your GP.

Mind, I can’t answer for the religious part, I’m not religious, as you can see above…and, as a matter of fact, I am at war with a depressive episode now. It’s no picnic, I can tell you, and my heart goes out to you…

You go to daily mass? That’s commendable, seems to me, but are you taking on more than you can handle at the moment? I’m not trying to downplay your devotion, nor is it my place to do so, I simply don’t know…is it just physically too much?

I don’t think I can add attachments, b/c I am new, which is fine, but…I was going to provide links to what the doctors use as guidelines for diagnosis…annnnyway…

Again, can’t answer for the religion, but can you make an appointment with your doctor? Chances are he/she will refer you to a specialist if they think the need is there.
They might run some tests, rule out any physical problems that tend to have depression as a symptom…

I really hope you get the help you need, and that you are back to your old self soon…I feel you.

At the moment, I feel as though I am dead, walking among the living-I am just without feeling, nothing.
It’s just a horrible feeling. When you don’t care about much of anything, your job, your CHILD, your very existence…pfft. It is just…meh.
 
Hello,

I can definitely relate to where you are. All we desire is for no barriers to be put up between us and God. We just want out spiritual journey to be easy. But didn’t Saint Therese, the Little Flower, say, “I know that He is better pleased to see you stumbling in the night upon a stony road, than walking in the full light of day upon a path carpeted with flowers, because these flowers might hinder your advance.” You might call this a time of spiritual “dryness” for you, and perhaps a spirit of despair has come over you. But don’t sit back and allow this to continue! Turn to our Lord more than ever!! If He feels far away, run to Him. If He has been silent, talk to Him. The flowers will hinder our advance, but stumbling on the stony path will keep our eyes fixed on Him, the only important goal. Pray, receive Him, pray some more. Our spiritual journeys do not get easier, but we instead, ask for the grace to become stronger and deny ourselves more and more so there is room for Christ.

Praying for you.
 
phoenixrrt62 said:
There’s also a mild form called dysthymic depression, it’s not so bad that you can’t function, but you have a pervasive sadness, you can’t find joy in anything…honestly, I’d gather to say something’s up…if it interferes with your activities of daily living, you might want to see your GP.
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That’s not really how I feel. Sometimes I feel quite happy. Mostly I am struggling with social isolation and chronic pain from an injury that I have had for several years.
phoenixrrt62 said:
You go to daily mass? That’s commendable, seems to me, but are you taking on more than you can handle at the moment? I’m not trying to downplay your devotion, nor is it my place to do so, I simply don’t know…is it just physically too much?
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No, it is the center of my existence. I can’t live without Jesus. Also I have reason to believe He wants me to go in the mornings.
phoenixrrt62 said:
At the moment, I feel as though I am dead, walking among the living-I am just without feeling, nothing.
It’s just a horrible feeling. When you don’t care about much of anything, your job, your CHILD, your very existence…pfft. It is just…meh.
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I went through an episode of feeling this way - several years before my conversion. God does make a difference, although one still struggles. In fact, He makes all the difference. May He bless you and keep you.
 
Well, I did go to Confession, thank God. (Took your advice, lil_flower_luv, and ran to Him … thank you for your prayers.) I think I am vulnerable right now and so I am being tempted … a lot … sometimes I feel so confused about everything. 🤷 If anyone reads this thread please say a prayer for me.
 
I’m praying for you, my dear friend in Christ!!!

May the Lord bless us, protect us from all evil, and bring us to everlasting life. :signofcross:
 
It could be the cognitive dissonance of resolving your faith with the real world. Take a break from church and think about how you see the world. Sometimes perspective makes all the difference.
 
Praying for you, sister. :gopray:

I don’t know how to help, but you are doing the right thing by hanging on to Jesus even though your devotion is under attack. Keep going to Mass, and even if you feel like you don’t have it in you to go to adoration or undertake pious practices, offer that up to God and just pray, “Lord, I am so, so tired, but I love You!”
 
JaredR said:
Praying for you, sister. :gopray:

I don’t know how to help, but you are doing the right thing by hanging on to Jesus even though your devotion is under attack. Keep going to Mass, and even if you feel like you don’t have it in you to go to adoration or undertake pious practices, offer that up to God and just pray, “Lord, I am so, so tired, but I love You!”
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Thank you for your prayers and advice, it really helps. I’ve been doing better since Confession yesterday, though it is still a struggle. Last night I had a dream that I was surrounded by demons mocking me for my faith, especially my faith in the Blessed Sacrament. Woke up and got my crucifix right away. Maybe they didn’t like that I went to Confession. 🤷
 
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