small weddings

[maryjk]

My parents eloped.

Back then, it was probably $10 or $20 for the justice of the peace. And they were done. Later when they were married in the Church, they didn’t pay anything.

When we married, civilly, we paid $25 for the judge. And when we married in the Church, we didn’t pay anything for use of the building. And my parents gave a stipend to the priest.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

Yes, you can have a small wedding like that. All you need is two witnesses and the priest or Deacon (if not a mass).

A small wedding like that would most likely cost you nothing except pre-Cana materials since there would be no music, additional air conditioning, extra janitor service, etc.

You might even be able to have it in the Chapel or Rectory.

In the past, it was not uncommon for marriages to happen at the regular Sunday Mass. Hold it right after Easter and you get a beautiful church full of flowers.

 

[phil19034]

In the past, it was not uncommon for marriages to happen at the regular Sunday Mass. Hold it right after Easter and you get a beautiful church full of flowers.

Yes, this can still happen today. It’s just not as common because most couples don’t want “strangers” at their wedding, unless the parish is small enough for people to know everyone.

But the irony is that some couples would have issues with non-invited guests being at their Church wedding, but no issue with total strangers watching them at a beach/destination wedding… Go figure

 

[Angel_Bradford]

No, there is a minimum. There must be two witnesses of legal age to sign the marriage licence above and beyond the couple and the priest.

I assumed the OP was referring to guests and not members of the wedding party.

 

[WingsOfEagles]

I guess the question becomes “how small is too small?”. I could never have just two people as I would want my family there. I want to be able to celebrate a little, even if it’s not lavish. I figure you only get married once, so why not enjoy it a little. I would want a formal dress for sure. It wouldn’t have to be mega-expensive, but I don’t want to get married in a white sundress either.

 

[jilly4ski]

I believe small weddings are the very best. They let the couple focus on the commitment they are making to each other and to God and not on all of the unnecessary fluff that usually becomes a big distraction.

I had 120 people who were just first degree relatives to my husband and me (most of them were from my side). Then another 9 friends which included my confirmation sponsor and her husband (who sang at my wedding) and our sponsor couple. We kept our wedding under 10k, closer to 8k even with the unexpected gifts from my parents and inlaws. We tried to keep things simple found some good deals and did some stuff ourselves, which allowed us to “spurge” on our wedding music (and extra $150 for a vocalist and a violinist) and provide a half keg for the relatives.

 

[WingsOfEagles]

I had 120 people who were just first degree relatives to my husband and me (most of them were from my side). Then another 9 friends which included my confirmation sponsor and her husband (who sang at my wedding) and our sponsor couple. We kept our wedding under 10k, closer to 8k even with the unexpected gifts from my parents and inlaws. We tried to keep things simple found some good deals and did some stuff ourselves, which allowed us to “spurge” on our wedding music (and extra $150 for a vocalist and a violinist) and provide a half keg for the relatives.

This is roughly the kind of wedding I would want. Not overly lavish, but guests don’t feel like you’re being a cheapskate either.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

Yes, this can still happen today. It’s just not as common because most couples don’t want “strangers” at their wedding, unless the parish is small enough for people to know everyone.

But the irony is that some couples would have issues with non-invited guests being at their Church wedding, but no issue with total strangers watching them at a beach/destination wedding… Go figure

Since sacraments are public, anyone can attend a nuptial Mass or wedding ceremony in the church, including Joe Blow off the street. No invitation required.

 

[PrincessRenae]

Wow! Thanks for all the replies, guys!

I’m trying to decide what I want to do. We set the date out to early 2016 because we knew we would take a while to decide some things. When I think about spending a bunch of money on the wedding I sort of break out into a cold sweat, so I was thinking we could just have a small and personal ceremony and then take a nice honeymoon? I just can’t decide, but I’m glad that it’s not frowned upon by the church to have a very small wedding. Keep the advice coming, though!

 

[phil19034]

Since sacraments are public, anyone can attend a nuptial Mass or wedding ceremony in the church, including Joe Blow off the street. No invitation required.

well, of course. But that’s not typical

 

[maryjk]

well, of course. But that’s not typical

You never know who will show up to a wedding.

In fact, my husband and I were just discussing when our son would attend mass in a few weeks.

The family is going on vacation. We leave early AM on Sunday. And my husband and I are going to a wedding Saturday night. So we are covered for Mass. But our son wasn’t invited to the wedding.

But we are thinking about taking him to the Mass. Then dropping him off on the way to the reception. The reception is pretty close to the house.

Now, he isn’t just Joe Blow, he knows the bride and groom. He just wasn’t invited to the wedding.

 

[OraLabora]

I’m fortunate that I married a woman more interested in a marriage than a wedding. Our initial civil wedding was 19 close friends and immediate relatives.

Our convalidation some years later was jest the two of us, our two witnesses, and the priest.

 

[fencersmother]

We had a v small wedding, 25 ppl were invited, but the church had closer to 50!! Several of the older ladies I knew from the parish all came to the wedding and it was so sweet of them.

I had a pang of guilt because I had not thought to invite them to a family-only (and really, it was just parents and siblings and one close cousin) wedding. I’ll never forget, Mrs Clarke (God rest her soul), when I asked if she would like to come to the reception, and she said, “Honey! Don’t be silly! Now you go along and have fun and we’ll see you next Sunday.”

We went to a nice hotel for a couple nights and had such a nice time. We had our first dinner married …at the Big Boy Diner.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

[BIBLEDRB][/BIBLEDRB]

well, of course. But that’s not typical

It is at my parish.

 

[Deo_Gratias42]

You never know who will show up to a wedding.

In fact, my husband and I were just discussing when our son would attend mass in a few weeks.

The family is going on vacation. We leave early AM on Sunday. And my husband and I are going to a wedding Saturday night. So we are covered for Mass. But our son wasn’t invited to the wedding.

But we are thinking about taking him to the Mass. Then dropping him off on the way to the reception. The reception is pretty close to the house.

Now, he isn’t just Joe Blow, he knows the bride and groom. He just wasn’t invited to the wedding.

I would take him and not worry about it. It’s not like he’s costing the bride and groom money. It’s assumed here that you will attend a wedding mass if you weren’t invited.

 

[dixieagle]

You never know who will show up to a wedding.

In fact, my husband and I were just discussing when our son would attend mass in a few weeks.

The family is going on vacation. We leave early AM on Sunday. And my husband and I are going to a wedding Saturday night. So we are covered for Mass. But our son wasn’t invited to the wedding.

But we are thinking about taking him to the Mass. Then dropping him off on the way to the reception. The reception is pretty close to the house.

Now, he isn’t just Joe Blow, he knows the bride and groom. He just wasn’t invited to the wedding.

I would absolutely do that.

 

[larsont7]

[BIBLEDRB][/BIBLEDRB]

It is at my parish.

It’s true at our parish as well. Many people will attend a wedding even if they are not invited to the reception. It never hurts to have all those extra people praying for you as they witness one of the most important days of your life!

 

[Phemie]

well, of course. But that’s not typical

In a small parish it is. I didn’t even have a Nuptial Mass since it was a mixed-marriage but when you look at the wedding pictures you see quite a few people in the pews who hadn’t been invited to the ceremony. These were mainly moms of schoolmates, women who’d watched me grow up in the church and wanted to see me get married.

 

[phil19034]

In a small parish it is. I didn’t even have a Nuptial Mass since it was a mixed-marriage but when you look at the wedding pictures you see quite a few people in the pews who hadn’t been invited to the ceremony. These were mainly moms of schoolmates, women who’d watched me grow up in the church and wanted to see me get married.

I’ll admit, that’s very nice. Growning up, I attended a huge parish (it was really too big). They have 5 masses on Sunday and 6 Masses once a month when they do the monthly Latin Mass (only 1 Sunday Mass on Saturday).

We never knew when there was a wedding Mass. The Parish I’m attending now, you never know either (unless you are friends with someone).

I guess it really does depend on the Parish.

 

[Phemie]

I’ll admit, that’s very nice. Growning up, I attended a huge parish (it was really too big). They have 5 masses on Sunday and 6 Masses once a month when they do the monthly Latin Mass (only 1 Sunday Mass on Saturday).

We never knew when there was a wedding Mass. The Parish I’m attending now, you never know either (unless you are friends with someone).

I guess it really does depend on the Parish.

In my home parish weddings were announced in the bulletin in the Mass listings for the week with a notation if there was to be no Nuptial Mass.