Snubbed by a priest!?!

[fnr]

Last night, I attended mass for the Assumption at a parish where I don’t normally attend mass. In my city, there are four parishes (plus one Catholic chapel), each of which have very different liturgies and church buildings. So I thought that as a way of getting to know other Catholics in my city, I’d visit and hopefully meet some other people who are, like me, interested in healing the rifts that seem to divide our church.

At the mass, I was surprised to recognize the voice of the priest from a podcast I’d heard. So after the mass, I approached the priest and shook his hand. I told him that I recognized his voice, but that I didn’t know his face because I normally attended mass at another parish. When I said the name of the parish, the priest said something under his breath that sounded a lot like “nevermind” and walked away. I sort of stood there not knowing what to do or say, and I’m still a bit shaken by the encounter.

I’m wondering what to do next. I think the best thing would be to go back to that church and speak with the priest one more time, telling him what I thought I’d heard him say and that I hope that whatever issues he has with my parish, that I’d like to work on resolving those issues. But that sounds like thorny territory… any advice?

 

[Aelred_Minor]

Last night, I attended mass for the Assumption at a parish where I don’t normally attend mass. In my city, there are four parishes (plus one Catholic chapel), each of which have very different liturgies and church buildings. So I thought that as a way of getting to know other Catholics in my city, I’d visit and hopefully meet some other people who are, like me, interested in healing the rifts that seem to divide our church.

At the mass, I was surprised to recognize the voice of the priest from a podcast I’d heard. So after the mass, I approached the priest and shook his hand. I told him that I recognized his voice, but that I didn’t know his face because I normally attended mass at another parish. When I said the name of the parish, the priest said something under his breath that sounded a lot like “nevermind” and walked away. I sort of stood there not knowing what to do or say, and I’m still a bit shaken by the encounter.

I’m wondering what to do next. I think the best thing would be to go back to that church and speak with the priest one more time, telling him what I thought I’d heard him say and that I hope that whatever issues he has with my parish, that I’d like to work on resolving those issues. But that sounds like thorny territory… any advice?

Is this podcast a regular one with possibly a lot of listeners? I might be way off on this but it occurs to me that maybe he felt you were treating him like a celebrity because of his podcast and felt embarrassed.

In any case the priest obviously made a mistake in how he treated you. Priests aren’t perfect, I’m afraid.

 

[nodito]

I’m wondering what to do next. I think the best thing would be to go back to that church and speak with the priest one more time, telling him what I thought I’d heard him say and that I hope that whatever issues he has with my parish, that I’d like to work on resolving those issues. But that sounds like thorny territory… any advice?

Since you aren’t really sure what you heard, and since it’s really not that important whether he likes your particular parish or not, I’d probably try to assume the most charitable muttering I could imagine him saying and then let the matter drop.

 

[SecretaryMonday]

Perhaps he was saying “nevermind” to the fact that you did not recognize his face?

 

[triumphguy]

Priests are human, and are not necessarily empathetic, patient, kind, wise, intelligent, gentle, polite or even more spiritual than the rest of us.

Just move on.

 

[bakaten]

Last night, I attended mass for the Assumption at a parish where I don’t normally attend mass. In my city, there are four parishes (plus one Catholic chapel), each of which have** very different liturgies** and church buildings. So I thought that as a way of getting to know other Catholics in my city, I’d visit and hopefully meet some other people who are, like me, interested in healing the rifts that seem to divide our church.

At the mass, I was surprised to recognize the voice of the priest from a podcast I’d heard. So after the mass, I approached the priest and shook his hand. I told him that I recognized his voice, but that I didn’t know his face because I normally attended mass at another parish. When I said the name of the parish, the priest said something under his breath that sounded a lot like “nevermind” and walked away. I sort of stood there not knowing what to do or say, and I’m still a bit shaken by the encounter.

I’m wondering what to do next. I think the best thing would be to go back to that church and speak with the priest one more time, telling him what I thought I’d heard him say and that I hope that whatever issues he has with my parish, that I’d like to work on resolving those issues. But that sounds like thorny territory… any advice?

Care to explain what do u means by different liturgies and the rift?
As far as I know, Catholic Church all has the same liturgies, even all over the world.
This could explain the reaction that you got from that particular priest.

Cheers

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Priests are human, and are not necessarily empathetic, patient, kind, wise, intelligent, gentle, polite or even more spiritual than the rest of us.

Just move on.

But do pray for him. Priests need our prayers, too, even the ones who are empathetic, patient, kind, wise, intelligent, gentle, polite, and/or more spiritual than the rest of us.

 

[fnr]

Care to explain what do u means by different liturgies and the rift?

As for different liturgies, I mean that the styles of the masses differ. Two churches use pipe organ, while two use piano and guitar. In two almost the whole congregation sings, while in the other two it’s spotty. One uses the Gather hymnal alone, another uses Gather plus Spirit and Song, another uses Worship, and another its own custom hymnal. Two of the parishes hold hands during the Our Father, two don’t. One employs robed altar servers, two have deacons assisting. In two, it’s common to see women wearing veils during mass. One parish bakes a portion of its own altar bread, while the other three rely on pre-made hosts. Two parishes regularly include Latin sprinkled in.

Two of the churches are staffed by regular diocesan priests, one by Jesuits, and one by a priest appointed by our bishop to lead a charismatic parish.

As far as the rift goes, there are several meanings, but in general, I tend to think that because everyone goes “parish shopping,” we all end up worshiping alongside people who think, shop, and live like we do. So urban, suburban, and rural parishes never have any fellowship. Also, you get parishes where people read First Things, and you get parishes where people read National Catholic Reporter, and the two types of parishes never talk. Maybe this issue is my cause, but it bothers me. If we are “one body” and the “Church is one,” we seem not to be acting like it!

 

[triumphguy]

But do pray for him. Priests need our prayers, too, even the ones who are empathetic, patient, kind, wise, intelligent, gentle, polite, and/or more spiritual than the rest of us.

Correct!

 

[sunnygt]

But do pray for him. Priests need our prayers, too, even the ones who are empathetic, patient, kind, wise, intelligent, gentle, polite, and/or more spiritual than the rest of us.

This. I’d just let it go.

 

[thistle]

Since you aren’t really sure what you heard, and since it’s really not that important whether he likes your particular parish or not, I’d probably try to assume the most charitable muttering I could imagine him saying and then let the matter drop.

I agree.

 

[bakaten]

As for different liturgies, I mean that the styles of the masses differ. Two churches use pipe organ, while two use piano and guitar. In two almost the whole congregation sings, while in the other two it’s spotty. One uses the Gather hymnal alone, another uses Gather plus Spirit and Song, another uses Worship, and another its own custom hymnal. Two of the parishes hold hands during the Our Father, two don’t. One employs robed altar servers, two have deacons assisting. In two, it’s common to see women wearing veils during mass. One parish bakes a portion of its own altar bread, while the other three rely on pre-made hosts. Two parishes regularly include Latin sprinkled in.

Two of the churches are staffed by regular diocesan priests, one by Jesuits, and one by a priest appointed by our bishop to lead a charismatic parish.

As far as the rift goes, there are several meanings, but in general, I tend to think that because everyone goes “parish shopping,” we all end up worshiping alongside people who think, shop, and live like we do. So urban, suburban, and rural parishes never have any fellowship. Also, you get parishes where people read First Things, and you get parishes where people read National Catholic Reporter, and the two types of parishes never talk. Maybe this issue is my cause, but it bothers me. If we are “one body” and the “Church is one,” we seem not to be acting like it!

Hmm… doesn’t sound like something that can cause such a response, so my guess is you just heard it wrongly.

As for the rift, well then my suggestion is for you to do something about it if you feel something is wrong. But not by confronting the priest, but something else.
May be you could try to build connections with some people across the parishes and then maybe start with informal meeting for a cake or a coffee.
From then on you could do something more advanced together like say organizing a theology night by inviting a speaker for all people from diferent parishes to attend (in a pub ).

Good luck with that

 

[SecretaryMonday]

As for different liturgies, I mean that the styles of the masses differ. Two churches use pipe organ, while two use piano and guitar. In two almost the whole congregation sings, while in the other two it’s spotty. One uses the Gather hymnal alone, another uses Gather plus Spirit and Song, another uses Worship, and another its own custom hymnal. Two of the parishes hold hands during the Our Father, two don’t. One employs robed altar servers, two have deacons assisting. In two, it’s common to see women wearing veils during mass. One parish bakes a portion of its own altar bread, while the other three rely on pre-made hosts. Two parishes regularly include Latin sprinkled in.

Two of the churches are staffed by regular diocesan priests, one by Jesuits, and one by a priest appointed by our bishop to lead a charismatic parish.

As far as the rift goes, there are several meanings, but in general, I tend to think that because everyone goes “parish shopping,” we all end up worshiping alongside people who think, shop, and live like we do. So urban, suburban, and rural parishes never have any fellowship. Also, you get parishes where people read First Things, and you get parishes where people read National Catholic Reporter, and the two types of parishes never talk. Maybe this issue is my cause, but it bothers me. If we are “one body” and the “Church is one,” we seem not to be acting like it!

These seem like legitimate differences, hardly rifts. Why not celebrate the diversity in this “one body”?

 

[Boswell]

I have “Been There, Done That” and have come to realize that priests have all the frailties of human nature that the rest of us do. Some have better people skills than others: Dale Carnegie’s “How To Win Friends and Influence People” is probably not an elective in the Seminary.

When I feel that I’ve been slighted, I now just keep reaching out, without appearing needy, and eventually the relationship develops. I follow the rule “If it is to be, it is up to me.”

There is one priest for many, many people. I imagine priests stay overwhelmed with all they have to do.

Let’s pray for them all

Boswell

Last night, I attended mass for the Assumption at a parish where I don’t normally attend mass. In my city, there are four parishes (plus one Catholic chapel), each of which have very different liturgies and church buildings. So I thought that as a way of getting to know other Catholics in my city, I’d visit and hopefully meet some other people who are, like me, interested in healing the rifts that seem to divide our church.

At the mass, I was surprised to recognize the voice of the priest from a podcast I’d heard. So after the mass, I approached the priest and shook his hand. I told him that I recognized his voice, but that I didn’t know his face because I normally attended mass at another parish. When I said the name of the parish, the priest said something under his breath that sounded a lot like “nevermind” and walked away. I sort of stood there not knowing what to do or say, and I’m still a bit shaken by the encounter.

I’m wondering what to do next. I think the best thing would be to go back to that church and speak with the priest one more time, telling him what I thought I’d heard him say and that I hope that whatever issues he has with my parish, that I’d like to work on resolving those issues. But that sounds like thorny territory… any advice?

 

[Rosebud77]

Please. let it rest.

so easy to see ourselves as centre stage.

a.few weeks ago I was held up in traffic en route to a church and village where I am known. Mass was just spilling out and the priest ran down the steps. stopped in his tracks when he saw me, half lifted a hand, looked embarrassed then ran to his car and away

Not a snub although it could have seemed so… simply covering three churches

 

[fnr]

I have “Been There, Done That” and have come to realize that priests have all the frailties of human nature that the rest of us do.
…
There is one priest for many, many people. I imagine priests stay overwhelmed with all they have to do.

Let’s pray for them all

Boswell

Thanks everyone for their suggestions. If I try to look through another’s eyes, maybe I’ll realize that the priest may have just been having a horrible day. I totally agree.

Dear Lord, please watch over that priest in his ministry of service to you. Give him comfort and joy, and let him know that we the laypeople love him for his efforts. Amen.