So close to converting but afraid for my children

[Runningmom]

I am currently an RCIA candidate and married to a Roman Catholic. I have been walking with Jesus for 25 years but over the past year, the Lord has drawn me more to Himself and to Catholicism. My husband has not regularly attended an RC church since our marriage 13 years ago. Does that put him in mortal sin? What is the Catholic church’s stance on folks who leave the church? I ask this because we have 4 young daughters and I have this nagging fear for them that they will grow up and not embrace Catholicism for themselves. It took me a long, long time to realize the things I had learned in my evangelical protestant days were insufficient and even erroneous in some cases. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of our daughters have to walk a similar path before truly embracing Catholicism in their hearts. Or perhaps they might marry a non-Catholic. What does that mean for their salvation?

I would appreciate any insights.

 

[Tom]

I am currently an RCIA candidate and married to a Roman Catholic. I have been walking with Jesus for 25 years but over the past year, the Lord has drawn me more to Himself and to Catholicism. My husband has not regularly attended an RC church since our marriage 13 years ago. Does that put him in mortal sin? What is the Catholic church’s stance on folks who leave the church? I ask this because we have 4 young daughters and I have this nagging fear for them that they will grow up and not embrace Catholicism for themselves. It took me a long, long time to realize the things I had learned in my evangelical protestant days were insufficient and even erroneous in some cases. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of our daughters have to walk a similar path before truly embracing Catholicism in their hearts. Or perhaps they might marry a non-Catholic. What does that mean for their salvation?

I would appreciate any insights.

It isn’t for me to say your husband is in mortal sin or not, it is my job to pray for him, and I certainly will. Hopefully your good example will lead him back, just don’t try to force him, be an example he wants to follow. A great way to “coax” him back in would be to ask him to help you with Catechism study so that you can teach the girls the true teachings of the Church. He undoubtedly has some misconceptions. When you engage him in the teaching he may want to help his daughters. Just an idea.

 

[bankerdavid]

It is a mortal sin for your husband to conscientiously not go to Mass every Sunday. Your children, depending on age, are another matter, and if they have not received first communion, I believe they are ok.

To get back to the Church, your husband need only go to confession, be absolved of his sins, and then he’ll be able to receive Eucharist.

He’s free to go to Mass any time, but needs confession to receive the Lord.

Frankly, your being in RCIA could have a profound effect on his attitude. If he still chooses not to, then you should have your children catechised into the faith, and their souls will be good to go.

As for marrying a non-Catholic, it’s ok, as long as a priest presides, and their future husband agrees to raise the children Catholic, and is open to procreative life.

Welcome to the Church, by the way.

 

[Tom]

http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc.htm:

CCC 1859 Mortal sin requires full knowledge and complete consent. It presupposes knowledge of the sinful character of the act, of its opposition to God’s law. It also implies a consent sufficiently deliberate to be a personal choice. Feigned ignorance and hardness of heart do not diminish, but rather increase, the voluntary character of a sin.

Since I have no way of knowing your husband “full knowledge”, nor his “complete consent” I cannot say if it’s a mortal sin or not.

 

[Runningmom]

Oh dear, I have given the wrong impression of my husband. He is just as excited as I am to be going “home”. We have been in an Anglican Church for 12 years where we were led to believe we were Catholic and were receiving the real presence. For that reason, my husband has been OK with being Anglican…until we started reading church history.

My fear is that my daughters, once older and having to make decisions for themselves, will stray from the Catholic church because they don’t fully embrace it. Evangelical protestantism is very attractive because it can be very emotional. It was powerful in my life and God used it mightily. That’s part of the path He had for me to come into intimate relationship with Him. If my daughters turn to that, will that put them in mortal sin?

 

[Eileen_T]

My fear is that my daughters, once older and having to make decisions for themselves, will stray from the Catholic church because they don’t fully embrace it. Evangelical protestantism is very attractive because it can be very emotional. It was powerful in my life and God used it mightily. That’s part of the path He had for me to come into intimate relationship with Him. If my daughters turn to that, will that put them in mortal sin?

Once, when I was agonising over my children who have abandoned the Faith, I literally heard a voice in my head ask:

Don’t you trust Me?

I didn’t realise it at that time, but later I found out about Divine Mercy and I believe that is God’s answer to my dilemma.

Pray the Divine Merct Chaplet together for your daughters, saying “Have mercy on our daughters, and on the whole world.”

 

[Stephen_C]

Boy that is a tough one to answer…But if they are not currently and have never been Catholic. I would defer to what it says in the CCC.

838 “The Church knows that she is joined in many ways to the baptized who are honored by the name of Christian, but do not profess the Catholic faith in its entirety or have not preserved unity or communion under the successor of Peter.” Those “who believe in Christ and have been properly baptized are put in a certain, although imperfect, communion with the Catholic Church.” With the Orthodox Churches, this communion is so profound “that it lacks little to attain the fullness that would permit a common celebration of the Lord’s Eucharist.”

818 “However, one cannot charge with the sin of the separation those who at present are born into these communities [that resulted from such separation] and in them are brought up in the faith of Christ, and the Catholic Church accepts them with respect and affection as brothers . . . . All who have been justified by faith in Baptism are incorporated into Christ; they therefore have a right to be called Christians, and with good reason are accepted as brothers in the Lord by the children of the Catholic Church”

 

[BlestOne]

Running… If this is any help:
When my husband (then fiancee) was converting to Catholicism, even though I considered myself a “good” Catholic (i.e. went to church every Sunday), I still had lots to learn. Just by him asking me questions about the Catholic faith or about what he learned in RCIA made me a much better Catholic. I had to research some of the stuff he asked about so I could advise him…yet I was the one who learned more I think. The kids saw my burning desire to learn more and caught it too… What a win-win situation!

 

[Runningmom]

The kids saw my burning desire to learn more and caught it too… What a win-win situation!

This is my hope for them in the future. They are young now, the oldest being 11. God willing, we will all be received together at next Easter Vigil. I pray they will continue to embrace all of this when they are making their own decisions for themselves.

 

[BlestOne]

This is my hope for them in the future. They are young now, the oldest being 11. God willing, we will all be received together at next Easter Vigil. I pray they will continue to embrace all of this when they are making their own decisions for themselves.

I hope I am reading this wrong… are you letting them decide at age 11? Or do you mean in the future? You are their mother, at 11 yo I sure hope you tell them not ask them to go to church with you. Worry about teaching them well now, not about what you have no control over… the future, put that in God’s hands. Pray, be a good example, educate, and trust in God.

 

[Runningmom]

I hope I am reading this wrong… are you letting them decide at age 11? Or do you mean in the future?

I mean in the future. You are right…I am worrying about that over which I have no control. Back to my knees.

Thank you.