kage_ar:
My last bit (passed on from something I read today)… for a little while, try treating your husband the way you would if he were perfect in every way. Give him that kind of respect… again, as long as there is no danger or abuse.
This is great advice for EVERYONE.
Folks, don’t be so hard on the OP. She’s picked the high road and the hard road to stick things out with her husband even though the marriage has been rocky from the start.
I think this guitar thing could really be a starting point to get their marriage back on track. Sure, she probably overreacted, sure, he has the wrong attitude about sexuality… but something was there to bring them together in the first place.
Seminole, I think you should approach DH when he’s not expecting it, be very affectionate to him and mean it, and beg him pretty please to play you a song and sing for you and you’re sorry about the AIC thing… maybe if you’ve decided you’re ready to “take the relationship back to the next level” you can add a little nibble or something to let him know there’s something in it for him, and hopefully by the time he’s finished serenading you you’ll be totally in the mood too. You can approach him maybe when he’s wearing long sleeves so his feel isn’t so smooth and womanish.
Or maybe you can write him a letter of reconcilliation, tell him you just want to get back on the right track, admit anything you feel you’re to blame for, and have a nice romantic dinner on the table ready for him to enjoy. Here’s a start:
My dear husband,
We’ve really started things off on the wrong foot here, haven’t we? This is not at all how I imagined my first few months of marriage. I really miss the way we used to XXX.
I know I’ve had a pretty significant part in creating this distance between us, and both of us have used some pretty dirty tactics to manipulate one another. I’m sorry for overreacting about the porn and MB. I don’t want you to get the impression my feelings have changed on the issue, but I think right now it is more important to work on our relationship. We can make it perfect later.
I really want to make peace with you, hon. I’m tired of all the coldness and the manipulation. If you’re up for it, I would love to cook you a nice dinner (steak, your favorite!), and then watch that movie we both enjoyed so much when we were first dating.
Sincerely,
Your loving wife Seminole
