So confused about confession

[Bookcat]

Ok, besides people who suffer from scrupolosity and have a sensitive conscience, what about people who are mentally ill, like suffering from Manic Depression, OCD, or Anxiety Disorders? If they haven’t been able to find a regular confessor who understands them from a psychological point of view, what are they to do in cases when they commit a mortal sin, like miss Mass, but do so because of their mental illness?

Maybe I should have started a different post for this but it dawned on me as I was reading this thread. I was discussing this very issue today with some people.

Blessings.

They go to confession …go to Jesus the Good Shepherd who loves them…and to his Priest …

 

[figs]

That’s very nice but what IS grave matter? That’s why the Catechism didn’t help me much. It didn’t specify which sins constitute grave matter… Yes it’s nice to know I am not committing mortal sin because I was not aware something was grave matter but isn’t my obligation to learn? And to know?

ok, I don’t know if you have an iphone or ipad but there is an app called “Mea Culpa” that breaks sins into the venial and mortal categories when you do your examination. Obviously it is a guidline but I think it will help you recognise which kinds of actions would be considered mortal and those that are venial.
That app along with the definitions others have posted here, will hopefully give you the answer you are looking for.

God bless

 

[Joannm]

1. …examine our consciences regularly and thoroughly;
2. …wait our turn in line patiently;
3. …come at the time confessions are scheduled, not a few minutes before they are to end;
4. …speak distinctly but never so loudly that we might be overheard;
5. …state our sins clearly and briefly without rambling;
6. …confess all mortal sins in number and kind;
7. …listen carefully to the advice the priest gives;
8. …confess our own sins and not someone else’s;
9. …carefully listen to and remember the penance and be sure to understand it;
10. …use a regular formula for confession so that it is familiar and comfortable;
11. …never be afraid to say something “embarrassing”… just say it;
12. …never worry that the priest thinks we are jerks…. he is usually impressed by our courage;
13. …never fear that the priest will not keep our confession secret… he is bound by the Seal;
14. …never confess “tendencies” or “struggles”… just sins;
15. …never leave the confessional before the priest has finished giving absolution;
16. …memorize an Act of Contrition;
17. …answer the priest’s questions briefly if he asks for a clarification;
18. …ask questions if we can’t understand what he means when he tells us something;
19. …keep in mind that sometimes priests can have bad days just like we do;
20. …remember that priests must go to confession too … they know what we are going through.

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This is a good guide but I would disagree with number 14. Many times our struggles and tendencies lead to sin and we could use the priest’s advice and the grace of confession would help. So in the OPs case she could say, “I struggle with getting angry with my children.” Or another person might say, “I have a tendency to gossip.” This would also show the priest that this is an ongoing thing and not just a once or two time occurrence since we don’t have to confess the number of times for venial sins.

One could also tell the priest that he or she has a tendency toward scrupulosity o toward rationalizing things. This would be helpful to a priest. The best thing would be to get a regular confessor who gets to know you.

 

[puzzleannie]

Hello Basically, I know I have some issues with anger as it relates to my children. I yell, I feel guilty, a

this is a perfect answer of what to confess, that which makes you feel guilty, which you know will have a harmful affect, even a lasting one. Don’t worry about what is mortal and venial, just tell your priest what is on your mind. It is still important to examine your consience with the aid of a good guide that lists the commandments, sometimes with examples of way we can offend against that commandment, because it is easy for us to overlook habitual sins, simply because we can lull ourselves into ignoring the guilt after a time.

 

[Bookcat]

Only Mortal sin “needs” to be confessed (and that in number and kind and circumstance that changes it–like it was your husband you murdered). (and at times one can not give the actual number…one approximates according to what you do know).

Venial sins are recommended to confess directly in confession (at least some of them…there can be many in life at times)…but they can be forgiven in various ways and do not “have” to be confessed directly in confession (one can also intend the rest of the venial sins at the end of your confession under “and all the sins of my life”).

Venial sins need not be confessed in number when they are confessed. And can even be confessed in a more general way.

 

[hannajomar]

Ok, besides people who suffer from scrupolosity and have a sensitive conscience, what about people who are mentally ill, like suffering from Manic Depression, OCD, or Anxiety Disorders? If they haven’t been able to find a regular confessor who understands them from a psychological point of view, what are they to do in cases when they commit a mortal sin, like miss Mass, but do so because of their mental illness?

Maybe I should have started a different post for this but it dawned on me as I was reading this thread. I was discussing this very issue today with some people.

Blessings.

I have struggled with clinical depression. When it was really bad, I used to think about this a lot. I knew something I did was wrong, but I was facing mental illness. At the same time, I didn’t want to just use that as an excuse to be uncharitable or to just not grow spiritually. When I went to confession, I said in essence, “I did X. I have depression, so I don’t want to be scrupulous about it. But I don’t want to use that as an excuse. So I am confessing for any part of this I am responsible for.” The priest I said this to was not my regular confessor, but he nodded in an understanding manner. I would assume, however, each person with each mental illness will have different abilities and different needs.

I agree, this would be an interesting thread on its own.

 

[hannajomar]

My issue is with what needs confessing. I have a pretty sensitive conscience, and I avoid occasions of sin, attend mass, and just generally try not to be in a state of mortal sin. I confess to God each night the things I’ve done which I know need improving. But I worry about whether I’m inadvertently doing things which need confession, not knowing it, and receiving the Eucharist when I should not.
Angela

If you’ve done something you’re not aware of, then you haven’t mortally sinned. In an attempt to confess all my sins, not just mortal sins, not just the venial sins I can think of, often at the end of my confession, I’ll add something like, “and for all the other sins I can’t think of right now.”

Remember, Jesus is all Merciful! He’s not looking for some kind of technicality to trip you up. But it’s good for us to try our best to be as sinless as we can. We won’t ever be sinless, that’s why we have Jesus!

 

[Splagchnizomai]

This is a good guide but I would disagree with number 14. Many times our struggles and tendencies lead to sin and we could use the priest’s advice and the grace of confession would help. So in the OPs case she could say, “I struggle with getting angry with my children.” Or another person might say, “I have a tendency to gossip.” This would also show the priest that this is an ongoing thing and not just a once or two time occurrence since we don’t have to confess the number of times for venial sins.

One could also tell the priest that he or she has a tendency toward scrupulosity o toward rationalizing things. This would be helpful to a priest. The best thing would be to get a regular confessor who gets to know you.

Good point. But confession is for things that you have done in the past and not for things that you may do in the future.

Though I may struggle with gossip, it doesn’t mean that I had gossiped. Though I have a tendency to lie, it doesn’t mean that I had lied.

Things like tendencies and struggles or rationalizations or scrupulosity may be best addressed with a spiritual director instead of a confessor (or perhaps with a regular confessor outside of parish confession times if possible). There are sinners waiting in line who need to confess sins, some of them need to confess mortal sins. It’s the purpose of the sacrament – confession of sins and absolution of sins.

 

[Splagchnizomai]

I would take some care with that link…some things can be misunderstood or distinctions not be evident…go right to the Catechism entries etc.

The link actually uses the Ten Commandments, Biblical verses, and the Catechism.

 

[EvelynEVF]

It was my impression that Fr Z doesn’t like “tendencies” and “struggles” because he thinks that’s a way that people rationalize, and he wants them to just call a sin a sin.

I go when my conscience pricks me, and it usually winds up about once per month. If you’re afraid of scrupulosity, etc, grab yourself a spiritual director I think having direction is really smart for new Catholics, because we don’t know what we don’t know, yk? Exploring with somebody knowledgeable really helps fill in a lot of blanks.