A
Arandur
Guest
For the financial issues part, have you considered trying to get your husband on board with a real financial plan?
My wife and I have followed Dave Ramsey’s plan and it has worked wonders for us, for our relationship, and even for our friends and family. If you don’t know him, he’s a nationally-syndicated radio show host who has packaged ages-old common sense finances very well and teaches very well with charity, Christian-focus, and humor. He’s the best, most honest financial guru out there that I know of. www.DaveRamsey.com
Phil Lenahan is sort of the Catholic Dave Ramsey. I don’t know him as well but I understand their plans to be about the same. I found more enthusiasm and support on the Dave Ramsey side.
They’ll both help get you on the same page so that finances need not be such a burden or obstacle in your relationship. They can help you really get control of your finances, to tell you where your money will go before you spend it (not leaving you wondering where it went). For spouses, it’s very much a two-person, cooperative responsibility, and that’s what helps to mend relationships damaged by financial issues.
As for your other relationship troubles, would your husband be open to a Retrouvaille, or to any of the Catholic resources (the USCCB has a web resource for marriage) for healthy marriages?
I do think the other posters here probably have a point in that you need some freedom and independence, and what it takes to get that (whether it be a business bank account until your DH and you get your finances under control together, a driver’s license, whatever you need to get time away to recharge). I also think that your husband needs to man up, stop making excuses for himself or blaming things on you and get in the game, be a provider at home and not just at work. Marriage is always about growth for both spouses (it’s never “done”), and perhaps these are the areas you both need to grow in for now.
I know discipline is a problem for me as a man, as well, but I do try to pull my weight at home and give deference to my wife, whether I’m tired or not. When I fail at these things I am not loving her like Christ, not fulfilling my role as a husband, and I am less of a man.
My wife and I have followed Dave Ramsey’s plan and it has worked wonders for us, for our relationship, and even for our friends and family. If you don’t know him, he’s a nationally-syndicated radio show host who has packaged ages-old common sense finances very well and teaches very well with charity, Christian-focus, and humor. He’s the best, most honest financial guru out there that I know of. www.DaveRamsey.com
Phil Lenahan is sort of the Catholic Dave Ramsey. I don’t know him as well but I understand their plans to be about the same. I found more enthusiasm and support on the Dave Ramsey side.
They’ll both help get you on the same page so that finances need not be such a burden or obstacle in your relationship. They can help you really get control of your finances, to tell you where your money will go before you spend it (not leaving you wondering where it went). For spouses, it’s very much a two-person, cooperative responsibility, and that’s what helps to mend relationships damaged by financial issues.
As for your other relationship troubles, would your husband be open to a Retrouvaille, or to any of the Catholic resources (the USCCB has a web resource for marriage) for healthy marriages?
I do think the other posters here probably have a point in that you need some freedom and independence, and what it takes to get that (whether it be a business bank account until your DH and you get your finances under control together, a driver’s license, whatever you need to get time away to recharge). I also think that your husband needs to man up, stop making excuses for himself or blaming things on you and get in the game, be a provider at home and not just at work. Marriage is always about growth for both spouses (it’s never “done”), and perhaps these are the areas you both need to grow in for now.
I know discipline is a problem for me as a man, as well, but I do try to pull my weight at home and give deference to my wife, whether I’m tired or not. When I fail at these things I am not loving her like Christ, not fulfilling my role as a husband, and I am less of a man.