K
k8e308
Guest
Let me preface this by saying that I am trying to grow in my faith and dedication to the Lord, and that is where this question comes from. I am simply trying to make sure that I do the right thing going forward. I am not trying to justify past sins, or justify future sinful actions on the basis of ‘correcting’ past sins. Let me also say that I’m not sure if this thread belongs here or not, so please correct me if it does not.
When I married my husband (M), I had very strong doubts as to whether or not the marriage was part of God’s Will for my life. I asked God for a sign to show me the correct path. The priest who was preparing us for marriage told us we should postpone our wedding until M underwent psychological counseling by himself, and we underwent professional relationship/communications counseling together.
He also said that until he had proof that this had happened and been fruitful, he would not consider marrying us, and even after the counseling might not marry us, depending on his interpretation of the outcome.
M, who was not Catholic then, was very angry, and talked me out of seeing this as a sign that we shouldn’t be married. We switched churches, asked a different priest to prepare us, and married when we had planned.
That priest did ask us what happened with the previous priest, and we were forthcoming. His response was that he would marry us because he didn’t want to see us go before a JOP to be married. His assumption that I would do this was false, but I did not correct him.
Before we married and after the first priest had denied us, I told God that if that was His sign then I wasn’t strong enough to follow it. I said that if He didn’t want me to marry M, then I needed Him to prevent the marriage from happening without my stopping it. I felt then, and still feel now, that this was asking too much of God. Not that it would be impossible for Him, but like I was asking Him to take away my free will, which I know He would not do.
Now I have been married for three years and have been blessed with a son. My relationship with M is not what it should be, but we are working on it. Still, we often speak of divorce or separation. Part of the ongoing problem is that M denies we have a problem, and insists we don’t need counseling.
That said, I still suspect the marriage is invalid because of the things in our relationship that the first priest saw. Does that mean I’m obligated to pursue a declaration of nullity? Can a marriage become sacramental even though it was not at the time it was contracted? If it weren’t for our son, I think I would just divorce him and pursue annulment, but at the same time, I was unable to do so before we had him, so that may be just an excuse. I have learned so much about myself and him in our three years of marriage that I do not think I would have married him had I known these things. The fault lies with both of us, but I feel so horrible about possibly ignoring God’s Will. How do I correct that?
If you have any questions, please ask. I will answer as honestly as I can.
When I married my husband (M), I had very strong doubts as to whether or not the marriage was part of God’s Will for my life. I asked God for a sign to show me the correct path. The priest who was preparing us for marriage told us we should postpone our wedding until M underwent psychological counseling by himself, and we underwent professional relationship/communications counseling together.
He also said that until he had proof that this had happened and been fruitful, he would not consider marrying us, and even after the counseling might not marry us, depending on his interpretation of the outcome.M, who was not Catholic then, was very angry, and talked me out of seeing this as a sign that we shouldn’t be married. We switched churches, asked a different priest to prepare us, and married when we had planned.
That priest did ask us what happened with the previous priest, and we were forthcoming. His response was that he would marry us because he didn’t want to see us go before a JOP to be married. His assumption that I would do this was false, but I did not correct him.
Before we married and after the first priest had denied us, I told God that if that was His sign then I wasn’t strong enough to follow it. I said that if He didn’t want me to marry M, then I needed Him to prevent the marriage from happening without my stopping it. I felt then, and still feel now, that this was asking too much of God. Not that it would be impossible for Him, but like I was asking Him to take away my free will, which I know He would not do.
Now I have been married for three years and have been blessed with a son. My relationship with M is not what it should be, but we are working on it. Still, we often speak of divorce or separation. Part of the ongoing problem is that M denies we have a problem, and insists we don’t need counseling.
That said, I still suspect the marriage is invalid because of the things in our relationship that the first priest saw. Does that mean I’m obligated to pursue a declaration of nullity? Can a marriage become sacramental even though it was not at the time it was contracted? If it weren’t for our son, I think I would just divorce him and pursue annulment, but at the same time, I was unable to do so before we had him, so that may be just an excuse. I have learned so much about myself and him in our three years of marriage that I do not think I would have married him had I known these things. The fault lies with both of us, but I feel so horrible about possibly ignoring God’s Will. How do I correct that?
If you have any questions, please ask. I will answer as honestly as I can.
