So, do I have to go to Confession yet AGAIN?

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PrayingDuck

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Unfortunately for me, lately, I seem to have been consistently choosing priests for Confession who don’t say the sacrament correctly or understand what I’m saying. This week I went to a priest who instead of “I absolve you” said something like “I grant you absolution” or “may God grant you absolution,” something along those lines–I can’t remember exactly. Was that valid or do I have to go find another priest and re-confess now…?

As a related question, I have confessed in the past certain sins that I was sorry for but didn’t really intend to stop (I would like to stop, of course, but didn’t really plan to make an effort to stop). These were venial sins (specifically, overeating comes to mind). Without firm purpose of amendment for a venial sin, does this render my entire confession invalid, including any mortal sins I confessed? I’ve asked three priests about it now and they sort of just breeze over it, lumping my question in with proper contrition rather than purpose of amendment.

I’m scrupulous and dislike going to Confession, as it is a pretty anxiety-filled experience for me, so all this questioning of whether my confessions are valid is not helping! I wish the priests would just do things correctly. 🤷
 
Get help OUTSIDE the confessional for your scrupulosity. You really must. You cannot continue go torture yourself as the sacrament police trying to decide if a priest (who is trained in this, you know) is doing things correctly. And you cannot fixate on whether you had “enough” contrition or confessed “enough” (venal sins do not require confession) This is an OCD behavior and it needs professional help.
 
As a related question, I have confessed in the past certain sins that I was sorry for but didn’t really intend to stop (I would like to stop, of course, but didn’t really plan to make an effort to stop). These were venial sins (specifically, overeating comes to mind). Without firm purpose of amendment for a venial sin, does this render my entire confession invalid, including any mortal sins I confessed? I’ve asked three priests about it now and they sort of just breeze over it, lumping my question in with proper contrition rather than purpose of amendment.
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No. You don’t even have to confess venial sins. If you are scrupulous, I think it would be a good idea to stick to mortal sins. For venial sins, you can just say an act of contrition or similar by yourself. Make say something like the Confiteor (“I confess to Almighty God…”) before bed each night. With a focus only on mortal sins, you should find confession will be less of an ordeal.
 
The confession of venial sins cannot invalidate a Confession even if you weren’t contrite whatsoever for them, so you were still absolved of your mortal sins. As a scrupulous person, it would be advised to not focus on venial sins too much in the confessional. It doesn’t matter if the priest understood you correctly for you to be absolved.

The priest must say “I absolve you” or “ego te absolvo” for the Sacrament to be valid. Next time, ask a question only once and stick to the answer that priest gives you instead of asking different priests the same question. Find a regular confessor that you will solely confess to who you know to be orthodox instead of going to different priests since this will only increase your stress & anxiety over the Sacrament.
 
Have you done much reading of the Scrupulous Anonymous resources? They might be helpful. I’ve “been there, done that” with scruples and experienced a lot of healing. Still sometimes have hitches and glitches, but am not filled with that panic and dread about going to Confession. Here’s a link for you: scrupulousanonymous.org/resources/

Also, I’ve found the Divine Mercy devotion helpful. 🙂
 
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