So Happy!

[Rachel_1]

Ok,
So I’m so happy I have to post here!
Some of you may have seen some of my past posts where I discussed how I’m in RCIA and have been remarried etc…
I’ve spent the last few months gathering documents and preparing for an annulment which has been super stressful. Last night I even had a meeting with my priest and my RCIA instructor to get the annulment going etc.
Long story short, I’ve been married 4 times. (see below):
First marriage to “R”:
Married:1986
Divorced:1989
Death 2003

Second marriage to “J”
(I never counted this as a ‘marriage’ in the first place due to certain circumstances)
His previous marriage that I just found out about: 1970
Married: 1994
Divorced: 1997

Third marriage to “K”
His previous marriage: 1980
Married: 1997
Divorced: 2002
Death 2005

Fourth (current) marriage to “N”
Married: 2005

Ok, so the plan today was I was going to attempt to get the rest of the documents, which I got all but one (yay for me), and call my RCIA instructor so she could call the tribunal about getting this started. 
Well, she called me before I got a chance to call her back and told me we were going about this the hard way. 
Confused, I called her back. Turns out she called the tribunal and they told her I don't need an annulment (not in the sense we thought anyway)!!
Because I was baptized Catholic as a baby, even though I wasn't raised Catholic, it's all just lack of form.. easy peasy stuff!
Even if I would have needed one, the fact that Husband #1 "R" passed away in 2003 voids out the other two, and the current is valid (as soon as we get our marriage blessed in church). 
So long story short.. 
I don't have to wait years and years to get confirmed, and have all the other Sacraments!! 
I get to do all of this in a few months!!! 
YAY!
You guys have no idea how happy I am right now!!!
Ok, I just had to share the joy I'm feeling :)

 

[crazzeto]

not sure I get all of the connections, but I’m glad to hear you can be confirmed validly sooner than you thought.

 

[Rachel_1]

not sure I get all of the connections, but I’m glad to hear you can be confirmed validly sooner than you thought.

Yea, I’m not sure I understand it all either lol.
I had determined that whatever the tribunal said, I’d go by, no matter what that meant, I’m very happy that they said this!
3-4 years vs. 3 months… yea!

 

[Catholic1954]

Peace be with you and Welcome Home!

 

[Pray4Life]

Ok, let me take a stab at it…

Basically, your very first marriage to “R” enjoyed the presumption of validity. Your two subsequent marriages, to “J” and “K”, thus would automatically be considered invalid because, without an annulment, you were still considered married to “R” when you married them. However, when “R” died, you were then a “free woman” so to speak, allowing you to have your current marriage to “N” convalidated (“J” and “K” never would have been accepted as valid in the first place since you would have presumably been still married to “R” at those times).

However, the clincher to the whole thing is that, since you were baptized Catholic, you were bound by Church law regarding marriage- thus, you had to be married in the presence of a priest. So, if you have never been married in the Church, NONE of your marriages would be considered valid due to “defect of form,” which is a very clear cut matter and does not require the Tribunal proceedings you’re referring to, leaving the way open to convalidating your marriage in the Church with “N.” OR, even if you HAD been married in the Church in the first place to “R,” the fact that he has passed away still means you would not have to pursue an annulment, and would now be free for the convalidation with “N.”

All that said…whatever the reasons…I am very happy for you that you will soon be returning to the Sacraments Welcome home!

 

[Rachel_1]

Ok, let me take a stab at it…

Basically, your very first marriage to “R” enjoyed the presumption of validity. Your two subsequent marriages, to “J” and “K”, thus would automatically be considered invalid because, without an annulment, you were still considered married to “R” when you married them. However, when “R” died, you were then a “free woman” so to speak, allowing you to have your current marriage to “N” convalidated (“J” and “K” never would have been accepted as valid in the first place since you would have presumably been still married to “R” at those times).

However, the clincher to the whole thing is that, since you were baptized Catholic, you were bound by Church law regarding marriage- thus, you had to be married in the presence of a priest. So, if you have never been married in the Church, NONE of your marriages would be considered valid due to “defect of form,” which is a very clear cut matter and does not require the Tribunal proceedings you’re referring to, leaving the way open to convalidating your marriage in the Church with “N.” OR, even if you HAD been married in the Church in the first place to “R,” the fact that he has passed away still means you would not have to pursue an annulment, and would now be free for the convalidation with “N.”

All that said…whatever the reasons…I am very happy for you that you will soon be returning to the Sacraments Welcome home!

Yea, I think that’s the jist of it

You said returning to the Sacraments… I’ve NEVER had Sacraments except Baptism, so this is all new to me
For the last few months it’s about killed me to not have them though, I don’t know how it happened or anything, but everytime everyone goes up for Communion, I feel so, so, so sad inside that I can’t go up too. So I’ve been praying everytime for a “Spiritual Communion” instead, but I have this intense longing to really have Sacraments ya know.
So all that’s happened today has made me like SUPER happy

 

[crazzeto]

Huh, well I guess then you would have to (should) confess to extra marital affirs then with your other 2 husbands?

Edit
Not to suggest you ever did anything legally out side of marriage… I’m speaking now from the perspective of faith.

 

[Rachel_1]

Huh, well I guess then you would have to (should) confess to extra marital affirs then with your other 2 husbands?

Edit
Not to suggest you ever did anything legally out side of marriage… I’m speaking now from the perspective of faith.

Oh you have no idea… I have never had a confession before, I think it’s probably going to take HOURS. I’ve not led the most holy life, by any means.
Let me put it this way… I used to be a high priestess in a coven before God saved me.

 

[Rachel_1]

Ok, so I’m reading about convalidating my marriage (I think that’s what it’s called).
Background:
I’ve been baptized in the Catholic church as a baby. I’ve not had any other Sacraments.

So in reading about how to have your marriage blessed, everything says I have to have confession first, but I’ve never done a confession before, and I was told I can’t do any Sacraments until I have my marriage blessed.
So how do I have my marriage blessed without confession, and how do I go to confession without having my marriage blessed.
I’m confused, can someone tell me which happens first? confession or having the marriage blessed?
Oh yea, one more question:
How much does it cost to have your marriage convalidated?
We’re just going to do the fast, easy blessing, no parties or anything like that.
Also, who do you pay?
Sorry, I’m all new to all of this, still in RCIA and I am kind of embarrassed to ask at Church about the money part of it.

 

[chevalier]

Even if I would have needed one, the fact that Husband #1 “R” passed away in 2003 voids out the other two

Actually, that’s not correct in all cases (in some cases an invalid marriage doesn’t block subsequent attempts at marriage), but the distinctions don’t matter in your case. Congrats!

As for what your instructor refers to as blessing, it’s convalidation, and you need to exchange marital vows, so it’s basically a new wedding unless your husband isn’t Catholic, in which case the bishop could grant a radical sanation together with dispensation from form (can’t do that with two Catholics).

 

[puzzleannie]

thanks for sharing to encourage others that many times even the most complex-sounding case is much easier to resolve that you might think, once ALL the facts are uncovered and weighed.

IMO I have to ask a candidate a minimum of 5 times in different times and ways to ascertain if they really were baptized, and have to do at least that many in-depth interviews to draw out all the facts of their marriage history.

for those with specific questions, ask your RCIA director or pastor to direct you. When they speak to the whole class they are speaking generally, you need personal direction on your own situation, as each one in the class may have a different story. The whole point of RCIA is for you to ask questions and get answers, so don’t be shy. Can’t answer your question because we don’t know all the facts about you, so why not go to your own parish and get good direction.

 

[crazzeto]

Oh you have no idea… I have never had a confession before, I think it’s probably going to take HOURS. I’ve not led the most holy life, by any means.
Let me put it this way… I used to be a high priestess in a coven before God saved me.

Well hallelujah, I’m so happy to hear you’ve found your home in the Catholic Church! A good confession is really and truely going to make you feel so much better, beleive me my first confession (a few years ago now) after I had stopped attending the church for a long time was a very emotional and very gratifying and fulfilling experience. Truely God’s grace is wonderful thing!