So How Hard is it to Commit a Mortal Sin?

[jmcrae]

The things I am talking about are looking at women impurely/lusting and having impure thoughts. I know that just seeing am attractive woman isn’t lust, nor is a thought simply going through ones mind unintentionally, but I really am completely lost as to when I consent to them and when I don’t, though I feel as though I do most of the time. It’s a rather miserable existence, but I struggle through it and try to not let it get me down.

Maybe one way to get past the objectification of women in your mind (regardless of whether it’s intentional or not) would be to get to know some of them - talk to them as human beings, and share ideas with them.

Then, once you know them, when you pass them on campus you won’t be thinking about their surface appearance so much - you will be thinking, “Oh, that’s Sandy, the chemistry major - she frets about her exams and wonders whether her professor is picking on her,” or “There goes Linda, the English major - she has some very strong opinions about the current administration,” etc.

 

[HailMary]

My question is about “full knowledge”. Does full knowledge imply you need to know the consequences? Or is it enough to know that you are breaking a commandment?

as I understand it, full knowledge does not mean you necessarily know the consequences because if we could experience hell (which is the ultimate consequence if you die in mortalsin) for a micro-second we would all run to the Monastery or Covenant to try and avoid that place forever.

In the context of the
“Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent.”
I understand this to mean that you need to know it is wrong prior to the act (ie: contraception, stealing, or any of the commandments) and that is enough.

 

[jmcrae]

I read somewhere that “full knowledge” means that you know what you are doing is wrong. Which brings me to my question in which case I really don’t think I’m doing anything wrong. Being divorced (no annulment), I’ve met someone and have been having relations with her. In so doing, I’m supposed to be committing adultery. But is it truly adultery?

Yes. In the eyes of God, you are a married man. You made a promise of loyalty to her in the Church and before God of “until death us do part.” If she is not dead, then you are still bound by your oath of loyalty to her, since what God did put together on your wedding day, no man - not you, not your wife, nor any judge - can wrest asunder.

The fact that she did not keep her oath of loyalty to you does not release you from your oath to her.

You have given many excuses for your actions that show that you do understand that what you are doing is wrong. You want to excuse it, because you are “special” in some way - “different” from other men, and thus, not bound by the same laws that bind “ordinary” men. This can and probably will go over with your friends and relatives - but it won’t go over with God, because God knows your heart, and He knows that you are not, after all, very different from other men, that your lonliness is not more painful than any other lonliness, and that you are not a special case that needs extra consideration.

Have you thought of the consequences to your new girlfriend, by the way? Sex outside of marriage is much riskier for women than for men. Do you have a plan in mind for when she gets pregnant, or for when she decides that it’s time for you to ask her to marry you? (90% of women in extra-marital affairs believe that their lover is planning to marry them.)

 

[JoePep62]

Yes. In the eyes of God, you are a married man. You made a promise of loyalty to her in the Church and before God of “until death us do part.” If she is not dead, then you are still bound by your oath of loyalty to her, since what God did put together on your wedding day, no man - not you, not your wife, nor any judge - can wrest asunder.

The fact that she did not keep her oath of loyalty to you does not release you from your oath to her.

You have given many excuses for your actions that show that you do understand that what you are doing is wrong. You want to excuse it, because you are “special” in some way - “different” from other men, and thus, not bound by the same laws that bind “ordinary” men. This can and probably will go over with your friends and relatives - but it won’t go over with God, because God knows your heart, and He knows that you are not, after all, very different from other men, that your lonliness is not more painful than any other lonliness, and that you are not a special case that needs extra consideration.

Have you thought of the consequences to your new girlfriend, by the way? Sex outside of marriage is much riskier for women than for men. Do you have a plan in mind for when she gets pregnant, or for when she decides that it’s time for you to ask her to marry you? (90% of women in extra-marital affairs believe that their lover is planning to marry them.)

Thanks for the response jmcrae - need to clarify something (this is not an extra-marital affair in the common sense of the word). And that’s where the problem lies - I don’t feel in my heart that I’m having an extra-marital affair because my ex-wife and I have mutually split up). There must be degrees of sin, which is why we have venial sin vs. mortal sin. In my heart, I don’t think I’m committing a mortal sin.

But the more I think about it, the more I’m realizing that through my actions, though no body is being hurt by this, my relationship to God is hurting because of this [which in the end, is really all that matters - our relationship with God].

I’m not trying to excuse myself from this - I just want others (many others) that are in the same position because of this crazy world we live in to feel as if we are not doomed for partaking in this particular activity. I still strongly believe that marital affairs are mortal sins but this just smells different.

 

[jmcrae]

But the more I think about it, the more I’m realizing that through my actions, though no body is being hurt by this, my relationship to God is hurting because of this [which in the end, is really all that matters - our relationship with God].

Yes, absolutely. It’s also really important to realize that when you got married, you were not just making a contract with your wife. You and your wife were making a Covenant with God. God still cares whether you keep your promises to Him, or not, even though your wife no longer cares. (And whose opinion is really more important - your wife’s opinion, or God’s opinion?)

I’m not trying to excuse myself from this - I just want others (many others) that are in the same position because of this crazy world we live in to feel as if we are not doomed for partaking in this particular activity. I still strongly believe that marital affairs are mortal sins but this just smells different.

Ask yourself this: If a young man whom you cared very much about were to engage in this sort of behaviour, or if your daughter or favourite niece were to take up with a man who behaved in this way, would you think it was “no big deal,” or what would you think?

Realize that God cares about you and your girlfriend even more than that. He wants the very best for your future and for hers, which is why He does not like to see this kind of behaviour.

 

[JoePep62]

Yes, absolutely. It’s also really important to realize that when you got married, you were not just making a contract with your wife. You and your wife were making a Covenant with God. God still cares whether you keep your promises to Him, or not, even though your wife no longer cares. (And whose opinion is really more important - your wife’s opinion, or God’s opinion?)

Ask yourself this: If a young man whom you cared very much about were to engage in this sort of behaviour, or if your daughter or favourite niece were to take up with a man who behaved in this way, would you think it was “no big deal,” or what would you think?

Realize that God cares about you and your girlfriend even more than that. He wants the very best for your future and for hers, which is why He does not like to see this kind of behaviour.

My relationship with God is paramount and thank you for helping me see that.

Guess what I have to do won’t bode well for the relationship with my girlfriend. This is not easy. Thanks for your help. I just hope my loneliness won’t overcome my need for companionship - life will be lonely.

 

[Lazerlike42]

My relationship with God is paramount and thank you for helping me see that.

Guess what I have to do won’t bode well for the relationship with my girlfriend. This is not easy. Thanks for your help. I just hope my loneliness won’t overcome my need for companionship - life will be lonely.

It can be hard, but I can tell you that ultimately, it leads to such greater fulfillment. I too had to surrender companionship for the sake of God, and albeit not the same situation as yours with all the factors, it was ultimately the best thing that could have happened to me.

 

[jmcrae]

My relationship with God is paramount and thank you for helping me see that.

Guess what I have to do won’t bode well for the relationship with my girlfriend. This is not easy. Thanks for your help. I just hope my loneliness won’t overcome my need for companionship - life will be lonely.

Many people find the companionship of Christ at Mass and at Adoration. There are also many ways to be a friend and to have friends.

If you end up with a lot of time on your hands, you could volunteer for an organization that helps the poor, or those who have disabilities - when you see the kinds of problems that other people have, you will see that we are so lucky, and that our problems, though they can at times seem overwhelming, are really nothing at all in the grand scheme of things - and I think that your loneliness will most likely disappear as you put your heart into helping others, since this is another very good place to find Jesus.

 

[Mannyfit75]

This bothers me…I tend to think the Catholics on CAF are conscientuous, pious believers. If you sin mortally every day, but you go to confession only every two weeks, that means most of the time you are in a state of mortal sin.

I confessed my venial sins. It is fruitful to confess sins that are venial to a priests. It only grants one soul more graces from God. Other practicing Catholics can attest to this, not just myself.

Something seems very wrong with this. I would’ve thought it was a lot harder to fal into mortal sin, and that that would be reflected by it being relatively infrequently. Is it possible scrupulosity should have been part of this poll?

If a Catholic truly acknowledges that Jesus is Really Present in the Blessed Eucharist, he or she will not commit a serious sin that is mortal.

No Catholic can received the Blessed Sacrament when he knows in his conscious that he has committed a mortal sin and therefore must confess.

Second, I don’t think I am the only who has an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. When you put Christ into your life, you sin less.

How do you put Christ in your life? By living out ALL that he has taught us and pray to God often, Daily if needed be. I am to look at my fellow man as another Christ. Do this, and you will truly be at peace with God.

 

[Genesis315]

I In contrast I just read a thread on which it seemed people are taking the position it is almost impossible to commit a mortal sin. According to this viewpoint you have to go way out of your way with full deliberation to do it. Since we love Jesus, we would never do such a thing with full consent. We would have to be crazy to sin mortally, meaning that we have an insanity defense, so it is not mortal sin.

St. Robert Bellarmine answers this objection:

“Similarly those who sin in the malice of their hearts may always plead their ignorance, which is nevertheless not an excuse for their sin since it does not precede it but accompanies it. Wherefore the Wise Man says, " They err who work iniquity.”[16] The Philosopher likewise with truth proclaims every evil-doer to be ignorant of what he does, and consequently it may ingeniously be said of sinners in general, “They know not what they do.” For no one can desire that which is wicked on the ground of its wickedness, because the will of man does not tend to what is bad as well as what is good, but solely to what is good, and for this reason those who make choice of what is bad do so because the object is presented to them under the aspect of something good, and may thus be chosen. This results from the disquietude of the inferior part of the soul which blinds the reason and renders it incapable of distinguishing anything but what is good in the object it seeks. Thus the man who commits adultery or is guilty of a theft perpetrates these crimes because he looks only to the pleasure or the gain which may result, and he would not perpetrate them if his passions had not blinded him to the shameful infamy of the one and the injustice of the other. Hence a sinner is like to a man who wishes to throw himself from an eminence into a river; he first shuts his eyes and then casts himself headlong; so he who does an evil act hates the light, and labours under a voluntary ignorance which does not exculpate him, because it is voluntary."